Trying to be a big girl about it

[princesss]

So after 2 1/2 years together I finally got it through my boyfriends head that I wanted something from Tiffanys. Something small, something not too(!) expensive...but something. I see him in 3 weeks and it seemed like it was finally going to happen...he even notices when people are wearing the pieces I like, so he''s clearly paying attention.

But he just signed on his first apartment. He has no furniture, no sheets, basically nothing besides a bedframe (but no mattress), a tv (but no tv stand or cable), a coffee maker, and a pot that''s currently living with my roommate a few hours away. His parents are kind of a "to each according to their need" family, and as his younger sister is starting college this year she needs more than he does. So I had to have a long talk with him last night about not getting me a present. I told him to not confuse a priority (apartment stuff) with a luxury (present) and told him to not go out of his way to find something. Obviously if he gets me something I''ll accept it, but I''d really rather make sure he''s completely taken care of.

But it doesn''t mean I''m not a little disappointed that the year he finally gets the idea that a little blue box is a good idea is the year I''d rather have him get sheets.

Sorry, I just had to pout a little bit to people who would understand.

 

[gailrmv]

I think you guys are being smart - he needs apartment stuff more than you need jewelry, just like you said!
Are you working and if so can you save up to buy your own Tiffany piece? Maybe to mark a special occasion, b-day gift to yourself, reward yourself for a promotion or meeting a milestone? That''s what I would do! Then when BF is more established financially, he can surprise you with something nice in the future.

 

[princesss]

Yeah, that''s actually exactly what I was planning! I graduate in a year and my best friend is coming to visit, so I''m going to save up and my grad gift to myself will be a trip to Tiffany''s with my best friend where I get to not feel guilty about buying something pretty when I should be more practical. It won''t be anything too extravagant (I will have to be *somewhat* practical) but I''m looking forward to it.

 

[diagem]

priority..., priority..., priority!

 

[Dee*Jay]

Maybe you can get sheets in the Tiffany robin''s egg blue color.

 

[Skippy123]

Date: 6/26/2007 10:47:57 AM
Author: Dee*Jay
Maybe you can get sheets in the Tiffany robin''s egg blue color.

Cute idea.

 

[princesss]

Haha, I love the sheet idea!

And yeah, DiaGem, I''m trying to keep me priorities straight and make sure he knows that...he''s more sensible than I am but I know that I can''t keep being frivolous with my money anymore. I have a year to start saving and make sure when I graduate I have some money to start out with and have good spending habits. It''s hard, but I think it''d be harder to start my "real life" in a year without having practiced good saving habits and making smart choices. I''m enlisting BF''s help in this, and he knows I''m serious so I''m hoping he listened when I told him it really meant more to me that he have the things he needs.

 

[Independent Gal]

Hey Princesss, sounds like you''re making the right move. Sometimes reminding ourselves that we don''t need to have things NOW to take pleasure in them helps a lot. You can look at the things you want from Tiffany in the catalogue and say to yourself "Someday I''ll have that! How exciting!'' Doesn''t have to be now. Enjoy the anticipation!

I say that about an eternity ring. Something I really want someday. Also, my diamond (which I think I might be getting tonight...?!?) is quite small, though very beautiful. And sure, I''d love a big diamond. Someday (but hopefully not until I''m like, 90) I will inherit a 2.7ish ct rock. So, someday I''ll have a really big diamond. I don''t need to have it now!

Delayed gratification. You can savor and actually enjoy it if you try!

 

[princesss]

Thanks IG...I''m really working on this delayed gratification thing and I think I''m getting the hang of it. I''ve been saving up for a new camera and am having fun watching the money go in my bank account and thinking "When I hit this mark, I get to order it. I''m x dollars closer!" It''s actually starting to become fun to plan and save for something I want, so I think that''s a good sign. And maybe the enthusiasm will transfer over when I start putting money away for retirement in a few years...

 

[Independent Gal]

Yes, absolutely! I totally know what you mean. I remember when I was 14 and I realllllly wanted the top-of-the-line super slim, SUPER expensive, super sound quality Sony Walkman (yes, I''m that old!) and I sat down with my dad and he helped me make a plan to save up for it. Then I worked extra hours and saved up each week from my paycheque until I had enough. It made working MORE FUN! and the anticipation was so sweet. And few things have ever given me quite as much pleasure to buy as going into that store and buying that walkman I''d worked so hard for. Then I enjoyed it for years afterward that much more remembering the anticipation and the sense of ''adult-like'' responsibility in having worked for it myself.

Yummo.

And I''ve been good with money ever since.

Well, now I own a home, and music-players have taken a back seat to handsome seating! But I know how to save for what I want and organize my priorities too.

Starting off on the right foot with money-priorities is a great sign for you too.

By the way, has your guy checked out ''craigslist'' for furniture? Buying second hand is a great way to get good quality inexpensively.

 

[princesss]

Yeah, he''s on craigslist and ebay searching for things. He and his dad are antique junkies with good eyes for quality pieces at good prices, so they''ve been hunting like mad so they can avoid Ikea! I''ll be staying with him for a few weeks in August, so we''ll probably check out garage sales as well as go antique-ing (sp??) for cool, cheap furniture.

 

[Elise]

how about introducing him to signed pieces at www.signedpieces.com? i'm not advocating prioritising jewelry over furniture but if he really decides to buy you a gift anyway, at least it would not be as hard on his wallet!

 

[princesss]

I may slip him the URL around Christmas.

 

[Ty Cobb]

signed pieces can still be expensive for his price range.

What jewelry are you looking for. I have had to be careful, but have bought 3 of the four pieces of Tiffany 1837 jewelry off of ebay for very reasonable prices. Have to be careful though. The only piece my girlfriend has yet is the cuff bracelet and she loves it. Just have to watch out for fakes, I have been lucky so far though. Every piece has been cleaned free of charge at Tiffs.

 

[princesss]

Truthfully, I''m really in love with the Elsa Perreti starfish necklace. I''m a sucker for anything ocean-related, though, lol. Signed Pieces could be good around Christmas because we kind of merge Christmas/anniversary/Valentines day into one or two things since they''re all so close together! It may still be too much, but it could be helpful just giving him the hint that I don''t mind 2nd hand/not brand new. New to me is all I want, and even then...I have a ring that I need to get re-sized that has a ton of sentimental value to me. If he did that I''d be thrilled...

Anyways. He''s got almost all his apartment stuff bought and moves in today. I''ll see him in 9 days (I''m so excited!) and then I''ll make sure he has everything. It sounds like he''s got it all together except for sheets. Somehow those slipped his mind, but he is hitting up TJ Maxx for some today and then he says he''ll be set. I''ll see when I get there, though...sometimes he forgets important things. But he remembered a shower curtain, which I''m pretty impressed with!

 

[Maisie]

Date: 6/26/2007 10:43:56 AM
Author: DiaGem
priority..., priority..., priority!

Oh well if you are talking about priority - Get the Tiffany present!!!

 

[Gypsy]

Oh honey. I know what you mean. I''ve been putting of my re-set for 4 years because of priorities (and indecisiveness). We moved out to CA spent the majority of our savings in the move and get some new furniture, I got sick with phemonia, no health insurance at that time (more savings gone) AND missed work for over a month ($$ just floating away). THEN things start getting on track, and I received news at work this week that''s put it all off again. Plus John (fiance) is really sick right now, and HIS medical insurance isn''t in effect (I have blue cross right now)... so again $$.

And the setting? Well... I keep staring at it and feel it getting further and further away. And while I am being responsible and prioritizing... I still have little pangs of dissapointment when I see the setting or think about it.

SO I totally understand. But I also know that when I FINALLY get it, it''s going to mean the world to me, and there won''t be any guilt or regret attached.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 7/3/2007 4:37:50 PM
Author: princesss
Truthfully, I'm really in love with the Elsa Perreti starfish necklace. I'm a sucker for anything ocean-related, though, lol.

Oooh, the starfish necklace is wonderful! I have that one and wear it nearly every day.

(Really, I think if you're going to get anything from Tiffany's the little silver trickets are the most fun. They're pricey for silver, but not pricey in the scheme of things. I also have the floating heart necklace and plan to get a few more items eventually. The pieces can easily be dressed up or down!)