NakedFinger
Brilliant_Rock
- Joined
- Jan 8, 2009
- Messages
- 690
I am currently considering becoming a stay at home mom. My husband makes a very good living so I am not concerned about not being able to live comfortably, I am more concerned about getting accustomed to "sharing".
Let me explain....My husband and I dated for a long time, we were teenagers when we first got together, so there were many years together before we got married. Because of that, I had my money, he had his, and we were comfortable with that and it worked for us, so we never changed when we got married. We bought two houses before we got married, shared the mortgage/bills and what not, but then anything left after that was my "extra" and anything left was his "extra".
I make very good money on my own, so I never bother my husband with what he spends his money on. If he wants a new boat, fine. New snowboards, fine, because I get to do the same. I like having my own money and not getting a hard time about what I spend my money on. If I want to buy a $500 pair of shoes I can, go on a shipping spree, I do, get hair/nails done, fine. They say the #1 thing couples fight about is money, so I am scared about throwing a monkey wrench into that. Not that I think my husband will be a pain about it, but he may find 3 new pairs of shoes in a week excessive. Haha.
For a lot of women I know, when the time came to decide to stay home it was easy. They were only making $40k a year, which wasn't a significant part of their household income, and with daycare being $35-$40k a year, they didnt bother because in essence they would be working just to put the kid in daycare. However, I make six figures, and get about $5,000-$12,000 a month in bonuses. So I am afraid that while we will be more than fine with just my husband's money, we will "miss" my income still ,and I am going to have to slightly change my habits. I dont mind, because being home with my son is worth it, but I wonder how most couples handle this since it is new territory for me.
So please help. How do you handle it, what works for you in your house? Do you just have a joint account, each with your own debit card? Do you have an "allowance" per week (I'm thinking in a la Good Fella's where she ask for some money to go shopping and he says "how much?" and she says "this much' and holds her fingers about two inches apart. lol) ? It just seems so foreign to me to have to ask for money or bother my husband if I need something. I'm nervous!
Let me explain....My husband and I dated for a long time, we were teenagers when we first got together, so there were many years together before we got married. Because of that, I had my money, he had his, and we were comfortable with that and it worked for us, so we never changed when we got married. We bought two houses before we got married, shared the mortgage/bills and what not, but then anything left after that was my "extra" and anything left was his "extra".
I make very good money on my own, so I never bother my husband with what he spends his money on. If he wants a new boat, fine. New snowboards, fine, because I get to do the same. I like having my own money and not getting a hard time about what I spend my money on. If I want to buy a $500 pair of shoes I can, go on a shipping spree, I do, get hair/nails done, fine. They say the #1 thing couples fight about is money, so I am scared about throwing a monkey wrench into that. Not that I think my husband will be a pain about it, but he may find 3 new pairs of shoes in a week excessive. Haha.
For a lot of women I know, when the time came to decide to stay home it was easy. They were only making $40k a year, which wasn't a significant part of their household income, and with daycare being $35-$40k a year, they didnt bother because in essence they would be working just to put the kid in daycare. However, I make six figures, and get about $5,000-$12,000 a month in bonuses. So I am afraid that while we will be more than fine with just my husband's money, we will "miss" my income still ,and I am going to have to slightly change my habits. I dont mind, because being home with my son is worth it, but I wonder how most couples handle this since it is new territory for me.
So please help. How do you handle it, what works for you in your house? Do you just have a joint account, each with your own debit card? Do you have an "allowance" per week (I'm thinking in a la Good Fella's where she ask for some money to go shopping and he says "how much?" and she says "this much' and holds her fingers about two inches apart. lol) ? It just seems so foreign to me to have to ask for money or bother my husband if I need something. I'm nervous!