Too young for highlights?

[tawn]

This thread really makes me appreciate my son, but the tradeoff is that intead of highlights he wants a cell phone, tv, stereo, game systems, an MP3 player etc...I''m ashamed to admit that he does have all of those thing!

He also got his ear pierced on his 11th birthday...which was a difficult decision for us!

 

[elepri]

When I first met my fiance''s niece she was 9 and she had hightlights. They were really natural looking and I said something about how lucky she was to have such awesome natural highlights in her hair. Well, she set me straight about how natural they were. I was kind of surprised but it seems pretty common among her peers. I would be worried about the damage it''s going to do to her hair over the years though.

 

[Nicrez]

I first lightly highlighted my hair for my prom, and considering it was down to my butt, my mom had to help me. Make up was given to me by my mom at sixteen for my sweet sixteen (she spoiled me on Chanel and Lancome!) But my first manicure/pedicure was for my prom and after that i didn''t get one until i earned the money to pay for it myself.

I have to say that so many parents in a need to please their ever unpleasable kids are doing what they think is "cool" at the expense of a child''s own good. You should grow up like a Hilton, just to find out that you aren''t. If you want something grown-up not only do you have to be old enough to make a rational decision (and not pout and stamp your feet), and you should be responsible enough to pay for it yourself with a job. To me, not old enough for a job, not old enough to get highlights or a mani/pedi. Sorry, mommy is not a Hilton, and i don''t want my daughters becoming little Paris hiltons either!!!

 

[youngster]

Date: 5/17/2005 4:48:42 PM
Author: fire&ice
I''m in the party that 9 years old is too young to have your hair highlighted. Though, I have no problem with an 11 year old having a manicure w/ mom or a circle of girls. I view that as more of good hygine. We have to take care of our nails. I wouldn''t mind a 9 year old going for a cut and blow dry (again teaching hygine) - but I''d stop at the highlights. You are changing the natural appearance of a baby.

I agree with you. Establishing good grooming habits is very important and an occasional trip to a salon for a special occasion (like a wedding) can also be a lot of fun for both Mom and daughter. I''ll also run (not walk) with my own daughter (or son!) to the dermatologist at the first sign of acne (that can be so tough on a young person.) I''ll pay for all the orthodontia in the world to straighten her teeth if needed. But, highlights at 9? No way. Dressing like a pop tartlet? No again.

 

[youngster]

Date: 5/17/2005 7:25:14 PM
Author: Nicrez
I first lightly highlighted my hair for my prom, and considering it was down to my butt, my mom had to help me. Make up was given to me by my mom at sixteen for my sweet sixteen (she spoiled me on Chanel and Lancome!) But my first manicure/pedicure was for my prom and after that i didn''t get one until i earned the money to pay for it myself.

I have to say that so many parents in a need to please their ever unpleasable kids are doing what they think is ''cool'' at the expense of a child''s own good. You should grow up like a Hilton, just to find out that you aren''t. If you want something grown-up not only do you have to be old enough to make a rational decision (and not pout and stamp your feet), and you should be responsible enough to pay for it yourself with a job. To me, not old enough for a job, not old enough to get highlights or a mani/pedi. Sorry, mommy is not a Hilton, and i don''t want my daughters becoming little Paris hiltons either!!!

Nicrez, you are totally right! The more "stuff" you give kids, the more they demand. It isn''t good for them, doesn''t set up reasonable expectations of what life is actually like once they''re out on their own.

 

[fire&ice]

Date: 5/17/2005 7:14:59 PM
Author: elepri
I would be worried about the damage it''s going to do to her hair over the years though.

True enough. But, maybe I''m the wacko crazy - but I wonder - if they can''t be in agreement about a pregnant women having their hair "dyed" - how can they not take that leap of faith about a pre-pubescent person.

 

[Sparkster]

Date: 5/17/2005 10:28:07 AM
Author: IslandDreams
Deb--maybe that''s my desire to go blonde--to match my son. My son has really beautiful blonde hair that I would love. Funny thing is we have no idea how he got to be blonde...there is no blonde on either side of his family. When he was born he had golden blonde hair and I told the doctors that he must not be mine because my baby would never have blonde hair. He''s still blonde at age 8....only a little darker...which bugs him...I''m sure he''ll be asking for highlights soon.

Any scientific people out there, if I''ve got this wrong, please correct me......a person gets one gene for hair colour from it''s mother and one gene for hair colour from it''s father. Brunette gene will always dominate over blonde gene.

So:
1. brunette gene (from parent 1) + brunette gene (from parent 2) = brunette child (this child only has brunette genes)
2. brunette gene (from parent 1) + blonde gene (from parent 2) = brunette child (this child has both brunette and blue genes but will be brunette haired because the brown gene dominates)
3. blonde gene (from parent 1) + blonde gene (from parent 2) = blue child (this child only has blue genes)

Your son is an example of number 3 child above (blond gene from both parents)

But your husband is a brunette so how can he have a blonde gene to have passed down on to your son? Your husband is a number 2 child. He has brunette and blonde genes but the brunette is dominant so he''s brunette. This blonde gene your husband has was passed through his ancestors - and none of them were blonde because they must also have had a brunette gene that dominated.

 

[Lord Summerisle]

Also would like to add on the subject...

As some of you know, i worked in a theme park - designed for babies to 14 year olds...

and the number of kids there! blimey! not to mention parents who had had their ''babes in arms'' less than a year old kids with their ears peirced! Sorry but in no way has a 3 month old demanded a earring.

And the scariest one was seeing a tattoo on a 2 year old. Unfortunatly unlike many of his peers it wasnt a fake tattoo!

 

[AGBF]

Date: 5/18/2005 3:35:37 AM
Author: Lord Summerisle
and the number of kids there! blimey! not to mention parents who had had their ''babes in arms'' less than a year old kids with their ears peirced! Sorry but in no way has a 3 month old demanded a earring.

Although I have seen many baby girls and toddlers from South Central Asia with pierced ears, I do not know the customs there. I *DO* know that in South America many parents have their daughters'' ears pierced at birth. In Venezuela if you enter a hospital nursery the only babies whose ears will not be pierced will be male.

Deborah

 

[diamondlil]

I''ve been following this thread for a while, and it''s very interesting. I certainly would NOT allow my 10-year-old daughter to have her hair highlighted at this age, but she has had her nails manicured. I took her and her friends to a nail salon for her 10th birthday party, and they all felt like princesses for a day. It''s not a regular occurrence, but I think it''s okay for a special occasion or for some mommy-daughter bonding.

As far as the ear piercing, LordSummerisle, it''s a common practice in the US for little girls to have their ears pierced before they are old enough to request it. I had my daughter''s done at 6 months. I think it''s about half and half the number of infant girls whose parents choose to have it done versus not. I never once received a negative comment from anyone about it. Where we live, I see many middle-school girls with more than 1 piercing in each ear. Thankfully, my daughter has no desire to follow that trend, nor would I allow it. As far as piercings go, I get disgusted at the number of BOYS under the age of 18 who have their ears pierced. Okay, so maybe this a double standard on my part, but it seems very common, and every time I see it, I wince!

DiamondLil

 

[AChiOAlumna]

My mother would not allow us to pierce our ears until we were 10 years old, if we wanted it. She felt at this age, we were responsible enough to know how to care for newly-pierced ears (alcohol rubs, Neosporin if necessary, turning the studs, etc.). I remember I couldn''t WAIT until my 10th birthday to get my ears pierced!! Everyone else (friends) got them pierced in 2nd and 3rd grade, but my mother wouldn''t budge on this....

 

[Lord Summerisle]

Date: 5/18/2005 7:16:06 AM
Author: diamondlil
As far as the ear piercing, LordSummerisle, it''s a common practice in the US for little girls to have their ears pierced before they are old enough to request it. I had my daughter''s done at 6 months. I think it''s about half and half the number of infant girls whose parents choose to have it done versus not. I never once received a negative comment from anyone about it. Where we live, I see many middle-school girls with more than 1 piercing in each ear. Thankfully, my daughter has no desire to follow that trend, nor would I allow it. As far as piercings go, I get disgusted at the number of BOYS under the age of 18 who have their ears pierced. Okay, so maybe this a double standard on my part, but it seems very common, and every time I see it, I wince!

DiamondLil

But that was the thing... boy or girl babes... they had their ears pierced.

 

[AGBF]

Date: 5/18/2005 7:16:06 AM
Author: diamondlil
Where we live, I see many middle-school girls with more than 1 piercing in each ear. Thankfully, my daughter has no desire to follow that trend, nor would I allow it. As far as piercings go, I get disgusted at the number of BOYS under the age of 18 who have their ears pierced.

Let's face it, we are all ethnocentric. There is no right or wrong except in a cultural context, i.e. "is this acceptable in my social group?"

I did not have my ears pierced until I was 48 because my mother had looked down on it, seeing it as something done by poor families of a certain ethnic group, and I had "caught" this point of view on pierced ears from her. My mother was not racist; she was a progressive, educated teacher who worked in a Headstart program when it first started. She nurtured children of all races, religions, and ethnicities. She had grown up believing that women did not pierce their ears, however, since *her* social group did not.

Deb

 

[Mara]

it was also commmon for our family to get all the gals ears pierced within 6 months of age...and if i recall, back at that time when i was young, all my friends had pierced ears too etc.

personally that works much better for me since i did not have to 'recall' any of the pain or trauma and my mom had to take care of my ears for me....

i have seen gals get their ears pierced now and it just seems icky to have to go through all that! i am not a fan of multiple piercings at all...in my opinion anything more than one is too many.

i have one friend who doesn't have pierced ears and i remember being amazed when she told me this, for whatever reason i just assumed *everyone* does! that was a funny revelation.

 

[diamondlil]

Date: 5/18/2005 12:17:08 PM
Author: Lord Summerisle

Date: 5/18/2005 7:16:06 AM
Author: diamondlil
As far as the ear piercing, LordSummerisle, it''s a common practice in the US for little girls to have their ears pierced before they are old enough to request it. I had my daughter''s done at 6 months. I think it''s about half and half the number of infant girls whose parents choose to have it done versus not. I never once received a negative comment from anyone about it. Where we live, I see many middle-school girls with more than 1 piercing in each ear. Thankfully, my daughter has no desire to follow that trend, nor would I allow it. As far as piercings go, I get disgusted at the number of BOYS under the age of 18 who have their ears pierced. Okay, so maybe this a double standard on my part, but it seems very common, and every time I see it, I wince!

DiamondLil

But that was the thing... boy or girl babes... they had their ears pierced.

Eeeeewwwwww. That''s just too strange! When I got my daughter''s done at 6 months, one of the reasons I decided to do it was because she was completely bald (stayed that way until after 2 years old

), and I felt it made it a little more obvious she was a girl. Even in cute dresses, people would say, "he''s so cut."

I was not allowed to get my ears pierced until I was 12! I remember always wanting them pierced in elementary school (everyone else had them already), but my mother refused. My grandmother was the one that bullied my mother into allowing it. My grandmother gave me a beautiful pair of pierced ruby earrings for my 6th grade graduation (sneaky), so my mom finally caved.

DiamondLil

 

[diamondlil]

Date: 5/18/2005 12:31:06 PM
Author: AGBF

Date: 5/18/2005 7:16:06 AM
Author: diamondlil
Where we live, I see many middle-school girls with more than 1 piercing in each ear. Thankfully, my daughter has no desire to follow that trend, nor would I allow it. As far as piercings go, I get disgusted at the number of BOYS under the age of 18 who have their ears pierced.

Let''s face it, we are all ethnocentric. There is no right or wrong except in a cultural context, i.e. ''is this acceptable in my social group?''

I did not have my ears pierced until I was 48 because my mother had looked down on it, seeing it as something done by poor families of a certain ethnic group, and I had ''caught'' this point of view on pierced ears from her. My mother was not racist; she was a progressive, educated teacher who worked in a Headstart program when it first started. She nurtured children of all races, religions, and ethnicities. She had grown up believing that women did not pierce their ears, however, since *her* social group did not.

Deb

You''re right, Deb. And what is acceptable changes with the generations. My grandmother was born in Italy, and I understood that in the early 1900s baby girls had their ears pierced at birth. After coming to the US as a child, she did not wear earrings for 30 years until it came back in vogue (surprising the holes never closed). As well, she never had my mother''s ears pierced. It wasn''t until my mother turned 60 that she had them done. I was totally shocked when she called and told me she had it done -- kind of a hip thing to do at 60!

DiamondLil

 

[Buena Girl]

This topic is really interesting to me! On one hand I am so surprised at how many people think 9 years old is too young to have highlights, and on the other hand I am shocked at how many people think a baby is old enough to have their ears pierced. I know that I fit some of the same characteristics as some of the posters as in age, area of the country, or economic background, so it just must be because of the people close to me growing up and what their views were on these topics.

 

[Kaleigh]

I was 15 when I got my ears peiced I had to beg and beg my mother to let me get them done. After I got mine done she liked them so much she got hers done. For some strange reason she was against it. I had my daughter''s pierced when she was 5 and my MIL was furious. Oh well to each his/her own.

 

[fire&ice]

I''m 45 and *still* don''t have pierced ears. I collect vintage jewelry so most of the e.r.''s are clip or screw. Pierced ears became prevelent in th 60''s.

The only reason I have been considering piercing is to wear diamond studs. But what would I do with all my really cool non pierced e.r.

I can say that I do seem to be an anomaly.

 

[AGBF]

Date: 5/18/2005 4:00:13 PM
Author: fire&ice
I''m 45 and *still* don''t have pierced ears. I collect vintage jewelry so most of the e.r.''s are clip or screw. Pierced ears became prevelent in th 60''s.

I am stunned! On the other hand, when I was a mere 45, I had no idea I would ever decide to have my ears pierced at 48...and when I did it was to protect my diamond studs!

Deb

 

[Erin]

I remember being a child asking my mom if I could get my ears pierced and she was highly against it. This was in 1980 and my mom was about 26/27. So, a week before my sixth birthday I asked my Dad''s mom (grandma) if I could get my ears pierced for my birthday. She said she''d have to take it up with my mom first. I told her that it was okay with my mom she just hasn''t had the time to take me.

Man, was she p*ssed!

 

[JessesGrl]

I got my ears pierced at 3, second hole at 11 or 12...belly button at 16....stopped there. Not a big deal....it is an earing!!!! Common practice to pierce little girls ears IMO

 

[glaucomflecken]

Date: 5/18/2005 3:35:37 AM
Author: Lord Summerisle

And the scariest one was seeing a tattoo on a 2 year old. Unfortunatly unlike many of his peers it wasnt a fake tattoo!

 

[MINE!!]

HIGHLIGHTS? NO NO No No No No NO

My daughter has a nail file and some nail polish, no lip gloss, no makeup.. NO HIGHLIGHTS....

Unfortunately, Although I know we do not want our babies o grow up too fast, society seems to be pushing them along in that direction anyway.