The Official TTC for 6 Months or More Thread

[Loves Vintage]

SB - Good Luck!! I hope you get a nice BFP this morning!

Blackberry - Congratulations!! Did you have an IUI this cycle? Tell us more!!

AFM:

AF started this morning. I don't even know how that is possible. I did take another cheapie test yesterday afternoon, and I did see slight color in that test after about 3 mins, so I was fully convinced that I would see a darker line this morning. I officially hate dollar store tests now. I'm at 10DPO, so no idea how AF is here so early. I do not think it is spotting. I think I am beginning to see the virtues of waiting to test though.

 

[Loves Vintage]

TB - I do think she is being overly cautious. Try not to worry! Good luck tomorrow!

 

[monkeyprincess]

LV, did you take another FRER? I don't want to get your hopes up or anything, but when I was pregnant with my son. I had a BFP on 12dpo, and that night, I started bleeding, and I was sure AF had arrived, but then it stopped the next morning, and you know the rest of the story. I think it was implantation bleeding maybe. But if that's not the case for you, and AF has arrived early, I'm so very sorry. It's such an emotional roller coaster. Big hugs.

Tbaus, I also think your doctor is just being very cautious. Chances are everything is just as it should be, especially since your betas are moving up nicely. Keeping you in my thoughts!

Blackberry, congratulations! If you don't mind my asking, what led up to the BFP? Did you do take meds or do an IUI or anything?

No news from me. Still waiting it out, but feeling decidedly unpregnant. I wish I could say I had learned something about patience and trying to stay positive from my last go around, but I'm afraid the old desperation is creeping in. I wish I could handle all of this more gracefully like you all seem to do.

 

[Loves Vintage]

Thanks, MP. I have been having the same thoughts and was reading about implantation bleeding this morning. I do not have any FRERs, just stupid dollar store tests. I took one this morning, before I realized there was any bleeding, and it was very clearly negative. DH says you can see a touch of color, but that was after some time passed (more than 5 mins) and it is less than what I was seeing yesterday, which we all know is basically a bunch of negative tests! I am not going in for the hcg test. It is snowing here, offices are opening late, and results would not be back today, I don't think. I also don't think there is any point, except for the little 1% of me that remains hopeful.

This is just not easy. And, it gets worse and worse with each passing cycle. I do not know if there is a way to handle it gracefully. I certainly have not!! I really really really hope you get your bfp.

 

[monkeyprincess]

LV, isn't that the hardest part? Emotionally, you know you have to prepare for the worst, but you also can't help but hope for the best. I hate being so cynical and pessimistic, but at a certain point, you have to be that way to protect yourself. Really hoping this is just a fluke for you, and I'll be thinking about you.

I don't know what I'd do without this group! Seriously, the only person I can talk about it with is DH, and he can only take so much. He always wants to put a positive spin on things and remind me of everything we have to be grateful for, but sometimes, I just want him to agree that this really sucks and is completely unfair. It helps to know there are others out there who just get it.

 

[amc80]

AF started this morning. I don't even know how that is possible. I did take another cheapie test yesterday afternoon, and I did see slight color in that test after about 3 mins, so I was fully convinced that I would see a darker line this morning. I officially hate dollar store tests now. I'm at 10DPO, so no idea how AF is here so early. I do not think it is spotting. I think I am beginning to see the virtues of waiting to test though.

A whole lot of dittos. I have a confession- I went to the dollar store yesterday to get some gift bags (OMG, best deal ever!) and saw the giant stack o' pregnancy tests. I bought 5. Because, you know, why not? I had read that one method is to pee in the wrapper and then use the dropper thing. I found that is a great way to end up with pee everywhere. And I am also starting to see the virtues of waiting to test. It would be nice to test the day AF is due or the day before and know for sure. No "maybe it's just too early." I mean, obviously, it would be best to wait until AF is late, but who am I kidding....Sorry about the BFN, LV.

 

[aviastar]

UGH, LV, I am so sorry. I really thought I could see the start of something in your pictures, but I never know if I can really see something or if I just know where something should be. You'd think that the more we do this the more zen we could all get about it but...not so much.

Congrats, Blackberry! Yay! It's just so lovely to see BFPs in this thread.

Tbaus, lucky you, an early ultrasound! You'll feel better after you see that's all as it should be, just in time to move over to your GP!

MP- I don't think any of us are as graceful as we would like to be in the privacy away from our keyboards. I had a full on meltdown in the middle of cutting up steak for dinner last night. It was ostensibly because I'm tired (December is a bad month for us, work wise) and my sister did something thoughtless, completely un baby related, but thoughtless nonetheless. But really I know it's because I'm scared, and I'm happy that we got the test ball rolling but I feel guilty that we had to in the first place. And the dynamic in my family is changing, there are grandkids now and they are just the center of my mother's universe, and while I love them very much, too, it just feels like nothing I can do- at home, at work, creatively- it just can't hold a candle. And I just feel so left out. So I cried into the steak and DH told me it was endearing that I was sitting on the kitchen floor crying about a stupid facebook post and then I pulled myself together and finished dinner, because ya know, life goes on. Graceful? Not hardly. But as FrouFrou says: there is beauty in the breakdown. It's honest, at least, which is possibly more graceful than faking it all the time anyway.

Hoping for a good test for you this morning, SB!!

Pee in the wrapper, amc? HAHA! I have enough trouble peeing on the stick directly and have found the catch cup for dipping is the least messy method. Speaking of aiming though, I picked up a sterile container for DH's SA and it came in a pack with the urine cup but also some test tube thingies (for actual urine tests, I think) and DH was like, uhhhhhh do I have AIM for one of those tiny test tubes?!?!

AFM, we made it through the abstinence desert and dropped off DH's SA this morning. YAY! Unfortunately, I also got myself a big fat UTI (how do you get a uti when you aren't having sex?? Oh yea, you work 16 hour days and forget to drink any water ). BOO! I'm scheduled for CD21 blood work in a week, but I've had zero signs of impending O and now have an infection and antibiotics to deal with, so I need to call the midwives and see if this is going to affect my testing schedule. In other good news, I also don't have any time to snack on holiday candy while I'm not remembering to drink water so I'm down four pounds!

 

[amc80]

Pee in the wrapper, amc? HAHA! I have enough trouble peeing on the stick directly and have found the catch cup for dipping is the least messy method. Speaking of aiming though, I picked up a sterile container for DH's SA and it came in a pack with the urine cup but also some test tube thingies (for actual urine tests, I think) and DH was like, uhhhhhh do I have AIM for one of those tiny test tubes?!?!

Yeah I could have used my OPK cup but I was in a different bathroom. So the wrapper it was. And that is hilarious. You should have told him yes and watched him freak out....hahaha....that would be some amazing aim.

 

[monkeyprincess]

Aviastar, ugh, I know the feeling. I've had too many meltdowns to count. Hilarious about the test tube. Hopefully, his results come back with good news, and you will be one step closer to pinpointing what is holding you back. I am so sorry that this is all happening right in the middle of a baby boom in your family. It really does make you feel your infertility more acutely. I'm also sorry about the UTI. I hope it clears up quickly and you ovulate soon!

LV, keep us posted. Has the spotting stopped or do you still think it is really AF? If I were you, I'd try another pregnancy test tomorrow just to make sure.

SB, did you test? Sending good thoughts your way!

 

[monkeyprincess]

amc, your wrapper story made me laugh. I was out of town two weeks ago the week before my IUI, and I was supposed to keep taking OPKs to make sure I didn't ovulate early. I assumed the hotel room would have paper or plastic cups, but of course all they had was real glasses. Out of respect for the next occupant and other future occupants, I couldn't bring myself to use the real glass, and didn't have anything else that would work, so I used a tiny little tea bag thing. It was so ridiculous and made such a mess, but it worked. You do what you've gotta do to POAS!

 

[blackberry16]

SB - Good Luck!! I hope you get a nice BFP this morning!

Blackberry - Congratulations!! Did you have an IUI this cycle? Tell us more!!

AFM:

AF started this morning. I don't even know how that is possible. I did take another cheapie test yesterday afternoon, and I did see slight color in that test after about 3 mins, so I was fully convinced that I would see a darker line this morning. I officially hate dollar store tests now. I'm at 10DPO, so no idea how AF is here so early. I do not think it is spotting. I think I am beginning to see the virtues of waiting to test though.

Hi LV, yes I did an IUI this cycle. I was also on my very first round of Femara. I'm actually surprised that it took because DH's sample wasn't as good as usual.

 

[royalasscherlover]

No dice. Very disappointing and discouraging. I'm still keeping my fingers crossed for the rest of you in the TWW and will try to come back and catch up in the next couple days.

 

[Loves Vintage]

SB - I just saw your post. I'm really sorry to hear that. Big hugs to you. It really just isn't fair.

MP - I do think it's AF, unfortunately. If this were implantation spotting, then I might sort of understand all of those women on "I didn't know I was pregnant." Haha. I guess I will never worry about staying on progesterone too long and possibly delaying AF again! Maybe I've tinkered with my system too much lately, and this is the result. I did talk to one of the nurses and she was incredibly non-empathetic, but I guess what could she tell me really! I am feeling a lot better though. Sometimes I just need time to pass and then I have better perspective. Shortly after bad news or a stressful event, I am all woe is me and can't seem to snap out of it in a rational way. I hate it and am very aware of it while I am going through it, but that still doesn't help me snap out of it. I took advantage of the snow day and worked from home today, which was a blessing.

Too funny -- right after I read your post about your DH always putting a positive spin on things and pointing all of the things to be grateful for, my DH called and said the.exact.same.thing. I actually laughed into the phone when he said it. I am also grateful for this community! Rest assured, if you ever need to hear anyone agree that "this really sucks and is completely unfair," you can count on me!

Aviastar - Sorry to hear about your breakdown. There is just so much emotion wrapped up in all of this that it seems unavoidable. Sorry to hear about the UTI too!! You must be really busy to not be drinking anything! I think you've mentioned you own a store? Curious what kind, but of course, no need to answer if you don't want to. It must be the holiday season keeping you so busy. Hope you are on the mend soon.

AMC - Too funny about the wrapper thing. Nice try though! Sorry that this wasn't your cycle either. It will be before you know it!

BB - I'm glad to hear your IUI worked, and with Femara too! Congrats again!!
**********
AFM - On to IVF . . .

 

[monkeyprincess]

LV, so sorry this cycle was such a bust. I had a few cycles recently where my AF would start early like 9 or 10dpo and then stop and then start again. The NP said my hormones were dropping too quickly to sustain the lining. I wonder if something similar happened to you this time around. I really do believe that you will be successful with IVF given your history. Do you know whether you will be taking a break or will you move onto that right away in the New Year? Big hugs.

SB, ahh, I'm so sorry to hear your news as well I wish there was more I could say to make you feel better, but just know that we are all here for you and somewhat understand what you are going through. I'm likely going to find out the same news in a couple days, and I wish I could just avoid it.

Blackberry, wonderful news. I'm glad the femara and IUI worked so well for you. It's encouraging to hear positive results once in awhile! Best wishes to you for a healthy and happy pregnancy!

Brightspot and Brightlight, thinking of both of you and hope you are doing alright.

Tbaus, have you had your ultrasound yet? Really keeping my fingers crossed that all is well, for as much as they can tell this early on. Sending lots of sticky dust your way!

Nothing new on my end. I toyed with the idea of taking a test this morning, but I forced myself to use the restroom before I had time to get a test. I tested every day from 8-14 dpiui last time and all it did was drive me crazy. I figure by Friday (12dpiui) the results will be pretty much definitive, so I better wait until Friday.

 

[Loves Vintage]

I will be taking at least this cycle off. I do not recall what the timing is like, so might take January off too, not sure though. As you might have detected already, I am not very patient!

Good for you for waiting to test! Hope you are pleasantly surprised!!!! Fingers crossed!

 

[monkeyprincess]

LV, I hope you don't have to wait too long to get started. I also lack any sense of patience these days.

AFM, can I say that I officially hate FRERs. I broke my promise not to test and took a test today at 11dpiui. At first it looked negative, but then I saw a hint of a line. I was convinced I had a faint BFP. I even took a picture to document it between 5-10 minutes after the test. I then took a shower. But when I got out of the shower, the line had faded and pretty much disappeared. All I could see was where the line should be. After a little research, I learned that a disappearing BFP is in fact a BFN. I guess it's possible it picked up a bit of the remaining trigger like last time. I don't know. All I know is that it appears that I'm not pregnant and my second IUI failed.

 

[Loves Vintage]

MP - I'm really sorry to hear that, but I am not ready for you to give up yet! I am very very hopeful that you see a nice dark line that does not disappear tomorrow. Uggh. I can't believe a line would disappear! I googled it, and it does appear to be a phenomenon. I officially hate all pregnancy tests, by the way.

 

[monkeyprincess]

LV, I know! I despise them as well. You would think I would learn my lesson, but I apparently like to torture myself with these stupid early tests. I always heard that FRERs never gave false positives or have indentation or evaporations lines, etc. But both this month and last month, I have clearly been able to see where the line should be on pretty much every test I took, so it just makes it all very confusing. I really did think I saw a line forming this morning, and I just assumed it would be more apparent as it dried, but it did what the tests did last month and faded to pretty much nothing. I know it's not officialy over yet, but I'm pretty certain I'm not pregnant. I almost wish AF would just come today or tomorrow so I could be seen by my NP before we leave town, otherwise, she might not want me to use meds this month. And a break wouldn't be the end of the world, but I have to travel again in January and February, so who knows if the timing will be right. Whatever. The one good thing is that now I'm more prepared to see a negative test, and I can hopefully get over my BFN depression before we head to see my family and have a nice Christmas.

 

[monkeyprincess]

One other annoying thing. The main reason I used to justify testing today is that we are taking Ev in for a second set of x-days of his spine. (I can't remember if I mentioned on here before, but we found out this summer that Ev was born with congenital scoliosis). Anyway, I was planning on going to the appointement and helping DH keep him calm during the x-rays, but then I remembered I probably can't be in there if I'm pregnant or possibly pregnant. Well, now I pretty much know I'm not pregnant, but there is always that little bit of doubt, so I won't be able to go in anyway.

 

[BrightSpot]

Blackberry-congrats!! I'm so glad to hear the femara/IUI combo worked for you. Dust coming your way for a happy & healthy 9 months.

Tbaus, I agree that it seems your doc is just being cautious, especially since your betas are rising nicely. Keep us posted on your first ultrasound.

MP, I'm so sorry about the evap line. Especially after the faint positive you got earlier. How disappointing! I'm not giving up hope yet though. I really hope you get a strong second line tomorrow. If not, I hope you can it in another cycle this year if that's what you want to do. Waiting sucks!
And I'm so sorry about Ev's scoliosis. Poor baby! What is the treatment? Hugs to you both!

LV, I'm so sorry about the evap line & bfn for you too, dear. It seems we've had a plague of these lately around here. I'm sorry it looks like you'll have to take some time off too. It's so difficult to wait. How do you feel about moving on to IVF? I really think you'll have success & am happy to talk about the process if you like.

Speaking of early testing, I'm still happy with the wondfo's. They picked up an hcg level of 11 for me & I've never gotten an evap line. (The bfn's are very starkly white, almost insultingly so...)

Aviastar, I'm so sorry about the UTI (& the crazy work schedule!) I hope you're feeling better soon & are still able to get your testing completed this month. Yay for clearing the SA hurdle!

SB, I'm so sorry this cycle didn't work. Hugs. What's your next step?

Brightlight, thanks for being such an amazing source of support. Wishing you good things & soon!

Dcg, thanks for checking in on us & asking about my appointment. I wound up canceling it since the timing wouldn't work to do an IUI this cycle. Thanks for the info on clomid too. I've used it twice before at a low dose (50mg) & never produced more than 1 follicle either.

Afm, well, ladies, I've gone rogue this cycle. I stole some of DH's clomid & have been taking 50mg CD5-9. Today's my last day. Has anyone else experienced insomnia on clomid? I've had it every night (usually waking around 3am & not getting back to sleep). Ugh.

We couldn't schedule an IUI so we're just going to use OPK's & BD when the time comes. And maybe I'll use some leftover progesterone as well. (I've got prometrium & Crinone in the ole medicine cabinet).
I think it's highly unlikely we'll have success but it makes me feel better that I'm doing something rather than just sitting out another cycle.

 

[monkeyprincess]

Ha ha Bright, I love that you've gone "rogue"! Wouldn't it be awesome if it worked? I'm guessing any risk of a problem is pretty low since plenty of people take clomid unmonitored. I have insomnia in general, so it's hard to say whether clomid caused that for me. I would say to try some benadryl, but that would probably backfire in the CM department.

As for Ev, we found out that one of his vertabrae didn't form properly really early on in fetal development. He's got a hemivertabrae, which is exactly what it sounds like - half of a vertebrae. And it causes his spine to curve. We were lucky that it was noticed early, actually by somebody at daycare who noticed a bit of a bump in his back. For now the treatment is just to monitor it with x-rays every three months. If the curve starts to get progressively worse, the only treatment is surgery to remove the vertebrae, which is a terrifying thought. For now, he looks and acts like a perfectly normal little boy, and I just want it to stay that way. I hate the thought of this somehow making life harder on him or limiting him, you know?

 

[lizzyann]

Bright's gone ROGUE! I love it!!!

Thinking of all of you ladies and wishing you all some very very good news really soon!

 

[monkeyprincess]

Speaking of early testing, I'm still happy with the wondfo's. They picked up an hcg level of 11 for me & I've never gotten an evap line. (The bfn's are very starkly white, almost insultingly so...)

You know I had kind of sworn off wondfos because they took a couple days longer to show my BFP than the FRER did last time, but you might be on to something here. I'd rather it take a day or two longer to show a result if that result is accurate. I don't remember this happening with FRERs last time, but it's confusing when you can clearly see where the line should be. I also have never seen where the line would be on a wondfo if it was negative. Hmm, this is unsettling. If I can't trust FRERS, what can I trust?

 

[aviastar]

You ladies are making me smile today; GO ROGUE BRIGHT!

I'm sorry about the disappearing line, MP. What a nasty tease!

I'm a waiter on the testing, so I haven't gone through too many tests. I did buy a three pack of FRERs last cycle and I'm mildly convinced that's why I wasn't pregnant. I never even got to use one, since AF is considerate enough to show up right on time every cycle. I tried early on, but the negatives are just awful for me.

LV, I don't talk about my store much, it's very easily identifiable in my area, so I try to leave as small a trail of breadcrumbs as possible. But yes, we're retail, and we work with local artists on hand made things, so this time of year is our absolute busiest. It's a good problem to have, but you can bet I am tethered to my water bottle now!

Enjoy your month away from meds and maybe the break will be just what your ovaries need!

Thank you for the well wishes, ladies. I am feeling much better now. I did get a call from the midwife and my CD3 tests were all just as perfectly normal as could be and I am cleared to go ahead and get the CD21 test run despite the antibiotics. I did ask about the possible delayed O, but she said this is really considered a baseline, they'll do the tests on CD3 and CD21 regardless of how the cycle goes, and then adjust from there depending on the needs of future cycles and the results. Luckily, CM has started showing up, so I don't think I'll delay too much. We may or may not have the SA results back before the holiday; I am guessing that we will wait until my results have come in and make an actual appointment in early January to sit down and talk about all the results. "perfectly normal' may be fine for some people, but I'd like to know numbers!

 

[aviastar]

Too late to edit my last post, but the midwife just called and DH's test was great. She's going to have the RE at the clinic who rant the test review, just as back up, but she's very pleased with the results. And she agreed- we'll set an appointment in early January to discuss all results in detail and set up the next steps.

Yay progress!

 

[Bella_mezzo]

Bright! Hope that going rogue works for you!!! I took 50mg (was actually prescribed 100mg but only took half the dose) unmonitored for 2 cycles and my RE didn't see any issue with not monitoring me even on 100mg. We weren't doing IUI, but still...good luck!

 

[royalasscherlover]

Blackberry, congrats! Nice to hear that Femara and IUI can work.

lv, I hope you can enjoy your break and that you have success with IVF in the new year.

mp, so sorry about the disappearing line - how frustrating. I think I must not have very good eyesight...I've never seen even a hint of a line on my test and I usually don't see them when other people post either. Maybe it's easier that way? Hope everything went well with your son and you can get another cycle in soon.

bright, I also applaud your devious ways and hope you are successful!

aviastar, hooray for getting good test results back! I think you were spot on with your feelings about being left out - two of my best friends recently had babies and the third is due in about a month (she started trying 6 months after we did and got lucky the first go, which doesn't help). I've often thought about how sad it will be if I'm still not pregnant by the time she gives birth, which feels inevitable now. The lack of control in this process is so frustrating.

tbaus, hope all is well.

afm, I'm trying to stay busy and not think about the impending arrival of AF...should be this weekend. I'm also going to do an unmonitored femara cycle with OPKs and BD, which my RE approved (though it sounds more fun to go rogue!). I just couldn't wrap my head around the idea of starting the new year doing nothing, and since I don't ovulate on my own, I figure has a better shot than nothing. I go back for another appointment with my RE in early January to discuss next steps.

 

[monkeyprincess]

SB, how many dpo are you and are you on a progesterone supplement? If you are correct that AF is on the way, I'm at least glad you will be able to take femara again next cycle. It feels so much better to at least be doing something, especially if you don't ovulate on your own normally. All the best to you!

Aviastar, excellent news about your DH, and you can cross that off as a potential issue. Hopefully, your blood work will give you more information on your end. I'm sure time is flying by for you at your store, which is a good thing!

AFM, ladies, I have officially boarded the crazy train. I apparently have no self control and ended up taking a FRER, wondfo and OPK last night. The OPK was nearly positive, which pretty much tells me nothing. The FRER pretty much did the same thing it did yesterday morning. I saw a hint of line within the timeframe, and then as it dried it started to fade out again. I can still tell something was there, but it is SO faint. And the wondfo, I swear I also saw a smidge of a line. So super faint that you pretty much have to be a crazy person to see it. It was a little more obvious when it dried, but still nothing to write home about. I ended up taking another FRER and wondfo this morning, and pretty much had the same results, except maybe a little fainter than last night. All of this is enough to make a person crazy! Seriously. There are a few options here. One, I'm crazy and making up the lines in my head (highly likely). Two, I'm still somehow picking up the trigger I took two weeks ago. Three, this is a chemical pregnancy. Or four, I had another late implanter. As much as I would love for it to be option four, I'm just not feeling very positive about this whole situation. But of course I've let my self get carried away and hopeful.

I'm attaching a picture although I really don't even think you can see it. I didn't take a picture of the wondfos.

 

[monkeyprincess]

And I just took another wondfo after holding my bladder for a couple hours, and even my crazy eyes can't make it into a BFP, so I'm feeling even less optimistic now.

 

[amc80]

MP- I totally see that line. I can't tell if it has color or not. Does it in real life? Personally, I think a BFP is a BFP. You aren't supposed to read the test after 10 minutes...so if you threw it away at that point you'd never know that it disappeared, right? Did you take another this morning?