The Official TTC for 6 Months or More Thread

[CurlySue]

Hey, Bright. I mainly lurk and rarely post anymore, but I just wanted to let you know you can count me among the many who are rooting for you. I'm sorry your testing over the weekend didn't bring you good news, but I am hoping your blood test tells a different story. Hugs!!!

Also sending good wishes to all the other ladies in this thread.

 

[monkeyprincess]

Bright, thinking of you today. You've got tons of support regardless of the results.

 

[BrightSpot]

Hi guys. Thanks so much for checking in & wishing me the best. Your support means the world to me.

Well, I got my beta results & they were negative, as I expected. (I had another bfn on a wondfo this morning.) I'm to stop all medications & wait for AF.

Adding injury to insult, I also found out from the doc that I have nerve damage in my left leg from the progesterone shots that could take 2-3 months to heal. It's progressed from numbness to itchiness to pain (but only when touched) to pain all the time now.

I also found out that one of our embryos was frozen on day 6 (nobody mentioned this before now.) My first reaction was that this was good news & that we could have another shot doing a frozen embryo transfer. However, the more I think about it, the more annoyed I am that they didn't just transfer both of the embryos this cycle. I'm assuming this embryo is the inferior one to the one they transferred, which didn't stick. I'm just not sure I want to go through the expense (about half the cost of another full IVF cycle) & invasiveness (granted, much less than an IVF as no retrieval would be involved, but I'm assuming there are still drugs/injections, etc.) of another cycle if the embryo is in worse shape than the one that already didn't stick. On the other hand, I don't think I could discard it in good conscience either knowing there was some shot it could be our baby. I am just so fed up with all of this & was ready to call it quits, but now I feel I've been pulled back in.

Sorry for venting. I'm just so sad, frustrated, angry and heartbroken about all of this.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Bright, I am so, so sorry. I know the BFN had to be hard enough, but nerve damage, too? You must be beyond frustrated. I can't believe they didn't tell you about the embryo they froze. Or at least didn't go over all of your options with you (implanting 2 vs. implanting 1 and freezing 1). I would be upset, too, just because I would have wanted to know.

Again, my heart goes out to you and I'm just really sorry. I feel like you probably need a mental break before going back through your options and weighing them. Continuing to think about you.

 

[amc80]

Bright, I'm so sorry to hear this

 

[monkeyprincess]

Ahh Bright, I'm so very sorry. About everything. I hope your leg heals quickly, although I know the emotional pain may take longer. And I'm really surprised and frustrated for you about the frozen embryo as well. I really do think that is the kind of decision that would require some sort of informed consent. Thoughts and prayers headed your way this evening and in the coming days and weeks as you decide how you want to proceed. Take care of yourself, and again, I'm truly sorry this cycle didn't work out the way we all hoped it would.

 

[tammy77]

Bright, I just don't even know what to say anymore. I'm so sad and upset for you and your DH. Regarding the frozen embryo, I can't imagine how difficult that must make your decision. I know I would have a hard time walking away, much less knowing there was a possibility that the frozen embryo might be "the one". Ugh, I'm so so sorry.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

Bright, I am so so so sorry about the news you got today. First off, I hope that your leg heals quickly!

Secondly, I can't believe that they didn't tell you about the frozen embryo!

I can only imagine how you must be feeling. Please take care of yourself, do something special just for you like a massage or mani pedi, or going to a show.

You know how to reach me if you want to talk or GTG.

 

[Loves Vintage]

Bright - I am so sorry about all of this. I would be beyond livid to have found out about the frozen embryo. Why didn't they discuss transferring that embryo as well as an option? Why didn't they tell you until now!? Maybe there is a reasonable explanation for why things were handled this way? Maybe it's standard procedure to freeze an embryo on day 6? I have no idea, but just wondering if maybe that would explain it?

There is so much for you to think about here. I am sure you are so overwhelmed and emotionally drained. Maybe taking a month would be a good idea, think things over, meet with your RE and find out what his game plan would be -- what did they learn about this cycle, what would they change in the future and why? I would probably also take my records to another RE and ask for a second opinion.

I second Bella's suggestion to treat yourself. Hang in there.

 

[lliang_chi]

Bright, hugs my dear friend. I'm really sorry you had to go through all this and now you have to deal with pain in your leg too. As much as you probably don't want more needles but maybe something like acupuncture can help increase blood flow to the area and maybe/hopefully your leg will recover quickly? This whole process is hard but go easy on yourself, hun, and you definitely deserve a little pampering for yourself.

 

[JGator]

Bright, my heart breaks for you. I can't believe this wasn't your cycle, and you have to deal with the leg pain and the news of a mystery embryo. Take your time and take it easy. I would push the RE office to make this right when you have the energy to deal with them.

 

[royalasscherlover]

Bright, I am so sorry. I hope your leg improves quickly - complications from the treatment are one of my biggest fears and seems so unfair after everything else you've gone through. I agree with the other ladies who suggested a mental break and pampering in the short-term before you worry about sorting out what comes next. Hugs.

I also recently got news that this wasn't our month - I didn't respond to the follistim, at least not at the dose that was given. Disappointing, especially since it made me feel really bloated and uncomfortable the last few days. I go to the RE the first week of August, so I'm really hoping he'll be able to figure something out.

Hugs to all the ladies struggling out there - this is hard!

 

[Loves Vintage]

SB - Sorry to hear this wasn't your cycle. It sounds like the follistim did not bring on ovulation then? Will they prescribe something for a new cycle to start, or is that something you will discuss with the RE? How soon is your RE appointment? You are right . . . it is hard!!

Going back a bit, but thanks everyone for your thoughts on the RE vs nurse quandary. It is interesting and reassuring to know that so many other practices rely on nurses or np's so much. Bright reminded me one of the reasons why I was frustrated with the other practice was the difficulty with communications. This new practice has a system where you can email your dr, receive copies of your test reports, etc., which I like very much. I have also had some difficulty getting my records from prior office, so that helped me decide to just move forward with the new practice.

I did get some test results back already. (1) I tested low for Vitamin D, so she is prescribing a high dose, that I take once a week, I think. She said low Vitamin D has been linked to some fertility issues, but who knows. And, (2) I tested positive for, or I'm a carrier, or something to that effect for TB. Tuberculosis. She says it's not very rare, especially for people in the medical field or who have worked in nursing homes. I did work in a nursing home for several years, many years ago. I am surprised this did not come up in any prior testing with prior RE. Anyway, I now have to go to a TB clinic to be counseled on TB, I guess so that I am made aware of any potential issues with pregnancy. I am not entirely sure, but it sounds like a check-the-box kind of thing to me, which is annoying, but it is what it is.

Anyone else tested for Vitamin D deficiency?

MP - Also going back a bit, I remembered about your PT plan because we are in the same field. I am in-house. So, that's why I was curious. I hope you are able to work out a good plan.

Bright - Hope you are hanging in there today and your leg improves more quickly than you anticipate.

 

[lizzyann]

Bright, sorry to hear your confirmation of BFN. I am pi$$ed though that the doctor didn't tell you about the potential other embryo that is now frozen. They should have given you the option of transferring two. I know that doesn't help you now but maybe you could use that as a bargaining tool on getting that other embryo transferred at a discounted cost. For some women that IVF is covered fully it isn't as much a big deal to just transfer a frozen down the road, but for someone like you who is paying out of pocket they should have been sure to give you the option of transferring both, not to mention now you will have to pay for storage fees. Bright, I know you are ready to throw in the towel, but I feel you should give it one last try on that last embryo and see what happens. My heart goes out to you. I know this situation plain SUCKS. But I do feel that your day will come. It is so hard to not let it consume your every thought. Before I got pregnant via IVF, getting pregnant consumed my every thought and it made me have a hard time finding happiness in happy things sometimes. In retrospect, I wish I would have gone to see a therapist who could have helped me continue my road to getting pregnant while being able to enjoy other things in life and not have it consume me. I hope you find peace in whichever direction you take Bright. We are all here for you and understand the roller coaster ride. Big hugs to you!

 

[LtlFirecracker]

Bright,

I am so sorry this cycle would not work out for you .

I also can't believe the doctor did not tell you about the other embryo and froze it without you knowing, I would have been very upset at my doctor if that kind of information was not disclosed and would probably want an explanation as to why that decision was made without your knowledge. And I am so sorry to hear about your leg and hope it heals quickly.

My thoughts go out to you, and I hope you are doing ok.

 

[tbaus]

Bright, big hugs to you! I am so sorry to here about your BFN You poor thing, then to make it even worse (when you probably just want to forget about it and have a break) you now have to wait for your leg to heal and deal with a frozen embryo. I am so mad for you!!! I agree with everyone else: have a break, and treat yourself. Also, I just want to say you are a strong, strong lady. And I admire you for the way you handle things.

SB- This is SO. HARD. I'm sorry to hear this wasn't your month either. I hope you and your RE figure out a new course of action soon.

LV- I was Vitamin D deficient last year. My doc didn't mention anything about it being linked to fertility though. I had to just take a capsule a day and it was sorted in about 6 months, I think? I'll be interested to hear if you find out anything more about it. The TB thing is scary too! I also worked in a nursing home and hospital, while I was at university. Am now wondering if I should be tested.

Hi and good luck to everyone else out there I might have missed!

AFM, we didn't get the LH surge I was hoping for and my progesterone has started to increase slightly. So we are waiting a week before I take more blood, and based on those results my RE will decide how to proceed for the next cycle.

I'm frustrated. I hate not having a definitive answer for things. I hate not being in control of my body. On the bright side, I guess this was a good test run to see how my hormone levels work, so hopefully we can tweak everything that is needed and get a BFP next time.

I am headed to my GP this afternoon, as i have been having some issues with my left leg for the last few days. Lots of numbness and pins and needles in my left butt cheek, radiating all the way down my leg. I can't stand or sit for more than a few minutes without being uncomfortable. This may be TMI but when I go to the toilet (even just for number 1's) it feels like I am stretching something. I called the nurse at my clinic and she doesn't think it's related to the clomid, since that was taken at the start of the month. My overactive imagination though is visualising a huge left ovary with 2 or 3 oversized follicles that are weighing it down, and is somehow causing pain all the way down that side of my body. Anyway I figured since it was uncomfortable enough to keep me awake last night and it has been annoying me at work I would like to get it looked at and sorted ASAP.

ETA: Did anyone else catch footage of The Duke and Dutchess of Cambridge and their new baby? They looked so happy. I had tears (of joy for them, and a *little* sadness for me) streaming down my face as I sat in the clinic waiting to get my bloods done. I sincerely hope we all get to enjoy that moment one day soon. Though maybe not so publicly!!!

 

[monkeyprincess]

Bright, you continue to be in my thoughts.

tbaus, I hope you figure out what is causing the pain. That sounds strange and very uncomfortable. As far as your cycle, I have to think it might have something to do with the fact they had you start the clomid in the middle of a long cycle. I wonder if you'd have better results if they had you start at the beginning of a new cycle as is the usual procedure. And hugs, it is so hard waiting and wondering if and when you will finally be able to have a baby. I'm really hoping in your case that it is just a matter of getting you to ovulate.

LV, that's really interesting about the Vitamin D and TB. I didn't know that somebody could be a TB carrier or that Vitamin D deficiency was linked to infertility. I agree with you that being able to get records and information from your doctor electronically would be a huge plus. I'm always playing phone tag with the nurses at my clinic, and then everything has to be run by the doctor, and then we play phone tag again. It was really annoying last time around. And you were smart to move in-house. That's my goal if I can ever find a good position for which I have the right credentials and experience.

SB, sorry to hear you didn't respond to the follitism. That must be really frustrating. I can't remember your situation, do you not ovulate on your own? I hope your doctor is able to find the right protocol for you.

AFM, I have my annual appointment tomorrow, so I'm debating whether to bring up fertility concerns with her tomorrow or wait it out a few more months. I already have a child and I haven't been trying long enough this time to feel that same desperation I had last time and that I know so many of you feel right now. So I'm a bit confused as to where I stand on all of this right now. I'll probably just mention we've been trying for about 4 months with no luck and see what she thinks about it.

 

[royalasscherlover]

Bright, still thinking about you and hoping that you are holding up ok.

LV, I haven't been tested for Vit D but we'll see what next week holds. I think the electronic communication is so helpful, I'm hoping my new office will have that.

tbaus, I hope your doctor got the pain sorted out. I didn't respond to Clomid either, but I agree with MP that it's unusual that they had you start it mid-cycle. I hope you got more information from your next blood tests and have a plan going forward.

MP, how did your appointment go?

As for my history, I haven't ovulated since I went off BC in September and have been taking progesterone to bring on periods. So far Clomid and Follistim have both failed to bring on ovulation, though now that I've done some more reading, I think my gyn here should have adjusted my Follistim dose up before calling it quits (though I can't imagine taking more since I was already pretty uncomfortable). I go to the RE next week so my fingers are crossed. We are moving this weekend so at least I have packing for distraction!

 

[monkeyprincess]

SB, ugh, I'm sorry to hear about your frustrating cycles (or lack thereof). I whined last month when I had one cycle that was off, so I cannot even imagine how frustrated you must be. Do you know if you have PCOS? I'm glad you are about to see an RE because that should give you your best chance of finding a protocol that works for you. Really hoping all it takes is to get you ovulating regularly. Good luck with your move as well!

My appointment went fine thanks for asking. My doctor was like, ohh, you want to do the back to back thing (implying that wasn't the best idea), but said she was fine with that as long as I was eating well and taking prenatals and understood that I was at a higher risk for preterm delivery with closely together pregnancies. She also said that if it doesn't happen on its own in the next few months, I should just let her know if I want to try clomid or talk with the NP again. So, all in all, it was a good conversation, and I'm glad she wasn't going to be too pushy on making me wait it out too much longer if I decide I want to step up our efforts.

Thinking of everyone else who posts or lurks on this thread. I pray you will all be mothers one way or another in the near future!

 

[dani13]

Bright, I'm so so sorry. Wishing you much strength during this difficult time. Big hugs.

 

[Loves Vintage]

MP, So your NP is with your regular ob/gyn? Do they monitor your cycle via u/s? Curious! I think I would rather just stick with my ob/gyn, but it was a no-go when I called them.

SB, I feel like I've been out of the TTC loop for a while, so my advice is really lacking. When you say you didn't ovulate, were they checking you via ultrasound? Wondering if you would have had a trigger shot if you had developed follicles? You will find more answers when you meet with the RE, but it's also good that you've tried clomid and follistim already. That should provide the RE with some guidance re: what to try next. Good luck with your move!

Tbaus, I'm going with no worries on the TB front. From the little info I was provided, I think they had a patient who became pregnant and then developed TB. I think you can have a latent form of TB, that becomes active when your immune system declines. I think it is very unlikely an issue, and I am really surprised that they are now testing all patients for this. RE: the Vitamin D, I haven't read up much on it, but it seems like there's a lot of recent research re: Vitamin D and fertility. I did not get the impression from my RE that it would make a huge difference, but it was more like, we will test you and if you have low levels, we will supplement, it could help . . . I know that's not much help, but I would definitely ask about it too.

How did your GP visit go? I hope everything is ok. I think it's a good way to look at things when you suggested that you are learning more about your body/hormone levels/responses as you go.

***************

It's been 2 weeks since I had my blood work and still no AMH number. Just sent the dr an email asking for an update. I have a sono-hsg at the end of the week. I thought I might start a med this month, but it looks like a no-go until more testing is completed.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

LV-Hope your results come back soon...just an FYI, my AMH was basically undetectable (less than .017 or something like that) and I still got pregnant...there is a lot that they don't know about AMH still (just in case your results don't come back the way you hope).

 

[Loves Vintage]

Thanks, Bella. I did see your results when I did a search for AMH on here and was a little confused as to why the number would be so low, especially since you are quite young (I'm thinking 33, but may be off by a year or two!?), but I just assumed not ask since you are pregnant now!! Thanks for popping in with that info. I appreciate it. Hopefully, I will flip out less now if the number is lower than I hope!

ETA: When you did get your results, did your RE offer any explanation for why it was so low? Or was he basically not concerned about it because of your age?

I suppose the reason why I am concerned about the number is because my dr said she would suggest jumping straight to IVF if the number was less than 1 (I think). I do not think I am ready for that. I think we would still do some iui cycles regardless.

 

[Loves Vintage]

Me again. 2.58. So, I think we will be going the IUI route, but now will just have to wait and hope maybe this could be our magic month!

 

[monkeyprincess]

LV, I'm not really familiar with AMH results, but it sounds like you had a good result, right? Best wishes to you for a little magic! And yes, the NP I saw last time worked out of the OB/GYN's office. She apparently used to work in the RE's office. Anyway, she worked pretty much independently and the only thing my OB/GYN did was perform the HSG. The NP prescribed the clomid, monitored the follicles with ultrasounds, and performed the IUI. It was a really great option for us last time, and I hope we have similar results this time around. Although I'm hoping for a little magic this cycle too. Two associates in my firm just announced their pregnancies within the past week (one of them was I think a happy accident and the other had a baby around the same time I had Ev, so her kiddos will only be 15 months apart). I have to admit, it stung a bit, but I'm also happy for both of them. Just anxious to join them.

 

[Loves Vintage]

MP - Yes, good AMH result. That arrangement with the NP sounds perfect, but I hope you don't need to see her! Sending you lots of magic! Hope you get to join the expectant moms' club at work! It would be kind of fun to have co-workers pregnant at the same time, but I totally understand the sting you mentioned too.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

LV-that's great!

My RE basically said that there is still a lot they don't know about AMH's role in fertility and the process of getting pregnant. He wasn't thrilled with the result. I wasn't really happy with my RE though and didn't think that he spent a lot of time talking to me about my test results.

My acupuncturist felt that it was very low but agreed that a lot was still unknown about AMH and that I should have faith and we should keep doing what we were doing in terms of treatment, she also told me about several patients with similarly low AMH results who had successfully gotten pregnant which made me feel better.

 

[BrightSpot]

NEL, thanks. I was/am very upset not to have been given our options & all of the information available so we could participate in the decisions. There's no way I would've agreed to a single embryo transfer is there was any possibility of transferring more than one. Perhaps it was my fault for not asking more questions, but I was led to believe only 1 was still at all viable. Ugh.

amc, thanks.

MP, thanks so much. The leg pain is a really unpleasant reminder of this failed cycle, which I'd rather forget. Sigh.
I'm glad your OB was open to giving you assistance in this process again when you're ready for it, rather than making you wait for a prescribed amount of time. That must be a relief to know you can take this at whatever speed feels best to you.

tammy, thanks. Yeah, it's hard to know what to say after everything. I almost hesitate posting anymore, but you guys are so wonderful & supportive that it really helps. It's hard to know when to walk away. This is such an emotional process, but I want to try to be as rational as I can about it. If there's not a good chance of a good response, maybe it's better to pursue other options. I see myself starting to go down this bitter road and I don't want to become that person.

Thanks, bella. DH & I are trying to go out more (dinner, shows, etc.) & I've enjoyed exercising again. Distraction is helpful.

LV, yes, I do want to find out why the cycle was handled the way it was. We signed a bunch of consent forms before the cycle began including consent to freeze embryos, but I really thought we'd be involved in this process. I really liked your wording about what they learned/what they would do in the future. I want to be able to bring this up in a non-accusatory way. Perhaps it's better that I had a week or 2 to cool down...
Good luck with your decision about the new RE's office. Being able to communicate via email is really helpful.
I hope the vitamin D supplements help. I have heard about a deficiency causing problems in the body (fertility & hair loss, among others.) That's so strange about the TB. Would it cause problems during a pregnancy? Great news on the AMH result. Yay!

LC, thank you, dear. I've been going to see my acupuncturist for a while (with a brief hiatus while I was on blood thinners (too much bruising)) so I hope it helps for my leg. It's definitely relaxing, which is great.

JGator, yes, I really do think the RE's office should do something to compensate in this situation. Maybe this is standard protocol, but it just doesn't seem right to me.

Ltl, thanks for your post. It helps to hear from you guys that this seemed out of line & that you would also be upset if this happened to you. I will definitely express my concern to my RE.

tbaus, thanks. I don't know how well I'm handling this, but I'm trying my best. This is just such a hard thing to go through & PCOS makes it so much worse. And yes, not having a definitive answer or be able to know what to expect is really hard too. Hugs to you.
I'm sorry you're having leg pain. It sounds pretty similar to what I'm experiencing now, actually. I forget, are you on metformin?
I had another bout of nerve issues last year while I was taking both metformin & the bcp. It turned out to have been caused by a vitamin B12 deficiency caused by the medications. I took a heavy duty supplement that I still take (folgard by Rx) & it resolved within a few months. Maybe something to ask your doc about? I hope you're feeling better soon. And keep us posted on your bloodwork for the cycle.

SB, I guess I'm naive, but I never thought about complications like this leg issue. Now I'm afraid to take a lot of drugs moving forward. (To ease your mind a bit, I haven't had issues with any other fertility med & the crinone progesterone suppositories were just fine.)
I'm sorry you didn't respond to the follistim & hope your RE appointment sheds some light about what's going on. Maybe adding a trigger shot would help?
Good luck with your move & keep us posted on the appointment with the RE.

Dani, thanks so much.

Bright, sorry to hear your confirmation of BFN. I am pi$$ed though that the doctor didn't tell you about the potential other embryo that is now frozen. They should have given you the option of transferring two. I know that doesn't help you now but maybe you could use that as a bargaining tool on getting that other embryo transferred at a discounted cost. For some women that IVF is covered fully it isn't as much a big deal to just transfer a frozen down the road, but for someone like you who is paying out of pocket they should have been sure to give you the option of transferring both, not to mention now you will have to pay for storage fees. Bright, I know you are ready to throw in the towel, but I feel you should give it one last try on that last embryo and see what happens. My heart goes out to you. I know this situation plain SUCKS. But I do feel that your day will come. It is so hard to not let it consume your every thought. Before I got pregnant via IVF, getting pregnant consumed my every thought and it made me have a hard time finding happiness in happy things sometimes. In retrospect, I wish I would have gone to see a therapist who could have helped me continue my road to getting pregnant while being able to enjoy other things in life and not have it consume me. I hope you find peace in whichever direction you take Bright. We are all here for you and understand the roller coaster ride. Big hugs to you!

Thank you for your kind, thoughtful post, Lizzy. You're right about everything you said above. I do think it's worth trying to use this as a bargaining tool to get an FET at a reduced cost. I just kind of felt like they were trying to milk me for more cycles & more money when we could've learned everything about the viability of the embryos by transferring them both during last cycle rather than doing a single transfer, then a single FET. It just doesn't make sense to me to have to go through this twice. (And yes, the freezing fees & storage fees are very expensive on top of the cost of the frozen cycle.) DH & I also wondered if we could do an IUI before the frozen transfer since I'll probably have to take some sort of fertility drugs & trigger shot since I don't always ovulate on my own. Maybe that would up our chances just a bit (and make me feel better.)

You're also right that I can't really walk away from this embryo. Also I totally feel like this process is consuming most aspects of my life, like you said. It's often difficult to find joy in everyday things. I'm trying to work on that (I've been seeing a therapist as well).
I actually just finished a book called "What Alice Forgot" & one of the characters suffers from infertility. I related to so many emotions expressed in the book & it brought me some comfort.

afm, I'm hanging in there & just trying to take comfort in being back in my old routine a bit. I've missed so much work because of all of the doctor's appointments last cycle & wasn't allowed to go to the gym for over 2 weeks, so I'm playing catch up on many fronts. It's a small consolation, but I feel better to be exercising again. The progesterone side effects are still lingering, though. The injection sites are sore & itchy & I'm still having numbness & pain in my left leg. I've also gotten differing opinions on what this is & what to expect in terms of healing. The nurses at my RE's office said it was probably nerve damage (& didn't seem concerned) & that it should go away in 2-3 months. I went to see my GP, who said that nerve damage doesn't heal, which freaked me out. I was finally able to correspond with my RE, who said the pain should go away in a few months. I really hope this is the case.

DH & I have an appointment to speak with the RE next Tuesday. My head has just been spinning with disappointment, and, frankly, anger about this cycle. I switched to my current RE because the communication in my old RE's office was awful. My current RE had been great about it (and even answers emails), but he went on vacation for 2 weeks beginning the day before my transfer, so he was pretty much unreachable. It was a really tough time for me to not have that resource. Also I was very unhappy to have only been offered 1 embryo for transfer, then find out after the cycle failed that they froze 1 additional embryo. So, we're going to discuss all of this with him on Tuesday & a plan to move forward, in addition to the leg issues.

In many respects, I just want to walk away from this painful process & move on with our lives. I feel like this cycle, as with pretty much everything we've experienced during the TTC process, has been one piece of bad news after the next. And I'm just getting the feeling that my body might not be meant to carry a child. But now that we have this frozen embryo, I don't think I can walk away in good conscience.
So we're going to talk about what to do next. I really don't want to take the PIO shots again. If there's a way to give this one more shot without risking further nerve damage, I guess it's worth it.

 

[Skippy123]

Bright, I am sorry, hugs.

LV, dust!

sending dust to all you ladies!!!

 

[Loves Vintage]

Bright, I'm glad you posted. It may be a little late in the game to mention this, but curious whether you checked the ART Data Report for your RE: http://www.sart.org/find_frm.html I'm actually not sure the true value of these reports, because I read somewhere recently that DRs can manipulate their data in ways to make their results look better than they are. It's interesting to look anyway.

I'm glad to hear that you are talking to a therapist too. I would definitely be doing the same! I was a mess at times during TTC1, and actually found acupuncture to be very healing during that time. Are you still doing acupuncture?

I was sorry to read what you said about thinking your body might not be meant to carry a child. I could absolutely see why you would think that way. You have been through so much. But, I do not believe it. I think it's really a matter of how far you are willing to go. I had a friend/co-worker from a few years back that I haven't talked to in a while. They went across country for IVF and had at least one unsuccessful cycle there. I guess this clinic had high success rates, which is why they traveled there. They now have a 3 year old and twins. I haven't kept in touch, but I know they felt really hopeless after that first unsuccessful IVF. I think she was at least 40 when they started.

I do not mean to suggest that you should travel across the country, but I do hope a good long talk with your current RE will provide some clarity. I was surprised that my new RE was a bit critical or my prior RE's choices. I would be inclined to get a second opinion.

We all have our own stories. The journey to motherhood is not simple for many of us. I am not a doctor, and I do not want to oversimplify this, but I do believe that you will be a mom, if that is what you want.

We are all here to support you 100% whatever you decide.

I hope you get some clarify re: the nerve damages as well. Is oral progesterone an option?

RE: the TB, the RE said something oversimplified like "bad things can happen" in a pregnancy when a mother has TB. Continuing the trend of awesomeness in RE communication skills, I guess! So, I can't answer your question, as I have not researched further. My DH seems to think that reduced immunity in pregnancy can make latent TB active, but he is also not a dr.

Skippy - Thanks!