Speaking of little black dresses....

[Ellen]

I am not sure what to do here on attire for this wedding. It is black tie optional, and I was planning on a black dress.

However, I always thought you weren''t supposed to wear black during the day, only in the evening. The wedding is at 3:00 PM,
pre-reception immediately following, formal reception at 6:30.

There is not going to be an opportunity to go back to the hotel and change.

So, I am assuming it WILL be ok to wear a black dress to the wedding also??

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

If I were in your position I would wear the black dress. If you''re really concerned about it then maybe bring a wrap in a contrasting color to lighten up your look. I think the days of not wearing black to weddings are over.

I do however think a floor length black dress might be a little over the top...Sorry if that contradicts what I said above.

 

[widget]

Date: 5/8/2007 8:59:40 AM
Author:Ellen
So, I am assuming it WILL be ok to wear a black dress to the wedding also??

Sure, why not? The guys will be wearing their optional black ties to the ceremony, won't they?

It sort of reminds me of stars having to totally dress up and bling out for the Oscars, but then arrive for them in the afternoon.

I've never heard of "pre-receptions"...is this something new?


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[Ellen]

Date: 5/8/2007 9:09:59 AM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
If I were in your position I would wear the black dress. If you''re really concerned about it then maybe bring a wrap in a contrasting color to lighten up your look. I think the days of not wearing black to weddings are over.

I do however think a floor length black dress might be a little over the top...Sorry if that contradicts what I said above.

I had wondered if this "black during the day" rule had gone out. So I looked up "black tie optional" and in the description, she said don''t wear black before 6 PM.

I do like the idea of a different colored wrap. And I wasn''t planning on a floor length, although I wouldn''t be surprised to see some. This is going to be quite the affair...

 

[Ellen]

Date: 5/8/2007 9:16:28 AM
Author: widget
Sure, why not? The guys will be wearing their optional black ties to the ceremony, won''t they?

It sort of reminds me of stars having to totally dress up and bling out for the Oscars, but arrive for them in the afternoon.

I''ve never heard of ''pre-receptions''...is this something new?


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That''s what I thought of too Widget. I''m just not used to this REALLY fancy shmancy stuff. Don''t want to embarrass the family.

And noooo, I''ve never been to a pre-reception either. This is a first. Because of the gap in time, the brides family was thinking about all the out-of-towners/guests I guess, so they are having a mini reception with a quartet and drinks and appetizers until the "real" reception begins.

 

[diamondfan]

I think you are gfine in black, black is all day long, just depends on the material. I would not wear sequins etc during the day, but I would wear elegant fabrics. I think it just is a matter of style.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

My Step Brother and Sister-in-law had a 3:00 FORMAL wedding and I wore a floor length black satin dress....the wedding was in August. Needless to say I was a bit uncomfortable. If I had to do it over again I would have gone for a shorter dress but I was young and didn''t know any better. I think knee-length black dress in a lighter material with sandals and a colored wrap/hat would be appropriate for an afternoon wedding.

My good friend it doing the pre-reception reception. Basically they have 2-3 hours between the ceremony and the reception so they have a tent with tables, chairs, a bar, and munchies for people between the events. They''re also having their shuttle service run during this time in case people want to go back to their hotels to change or take naps.

 

[Ellen]

Date: 5/8/2007 9:24:03 AM
Author: diamondfan
I think you are fine in black, black is all day long, just depends on the material. I would not wear sequins etc during the day, but I would wear elegant fabrics. I think it just is a matter of style.

Thanks df, that was my original thinking.


HH, I rather ike the idea of the pre-reception. It used to be, WAY back in the day, weddings were usually in the evening and the reception immediately followed. I never see that done anymore, it''s the way this one is. And that does leave guests with a gap of time on their hands.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

I don''t think they planned on the day being like this but they''re having a full Catholic mass/ceremony before hand. They were supposed to get married this past April however my friend found out she had a bigger event in the works (baby) and they had to push the date out about 6 months. I think they may not have been able to get the same times they had before.

 

[Linda W]

Ellen,

I am not sure where you live, but I live in California. Last year, DH and I went to quite a few weddings during the day and evening. The ladies had on black dresses at both times. I don''t think it really matters what time of day anymore. At least not here.

Linda

 

[Ellen]

Linda, thanks. I have seen it too here, in IL. Not a lot, but yeah, some.

This wedding is just so upscale, with tons of very influential/wealthy guests, and I just didn''t want to make a fashion faux paux. But considering I can''t go back and change, along with all the other women, I''m not going to worry about it.

 

[phoenixgirl]

I wouldn't worry about the time of the wedding and would just focus on the "black tie optional" part (they probably put it on the invitation to avoid confusion about what to wear and to encourage people to dress up -- we had "black tie welcome" on our invitations to spice things up). You can't be too dressy if some men are in tuxes, right? And there's always that one guy who doesn't know what black tie optional means and wears khakis, so you really can't go wrong.

The formal reception really is in the evening, too, so this should count more like a 5:00 wedding.

 

[zoebartlett]

Date: 5/8/2007 9:24:03 AM
Author: diamondfan
I think you are gfine in black, black is all day long, just depends on the material. I would not wear sequins etc during the day, but I would wear elegant fabrics. I think it just is a matter of style.

That''s what I think too. I''ve never thought wearing black is a bad thing, even for a daytime affair, but it would seem kind of over the top if there was a lot of detailing (beading, sequins, etc.) on the dress.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Ellen, this is meaning no offense to you or your family members. It's just my personal feelings on this kind of timetable.
I have to say that I think it is strange to have a formal wedding at 3:00 and then not have the "real" reception until 6:00. I mean, why wouldn't you just have the formal wedding at 5:00? I'd hate to be the bride and groom and have all that time in between. That makes for a veeeeery long day! Most men don't love attending weddings anyway, so I can just imagine how well it would go over to tell them you have to be at one at 2:30 and then spend the entire rest of the afternoon and evening there in formal clothes, no less! I'm hoping this trend doesn't come this way!

(Oh, and I think the black dress is fine, too.)

 

[Skippy123]

Oh, I bet you will be a hot momma in your black dress

I think Black dresses are great!

 

[Ellen]

Date: 5/8/2007 9:34:54 PM
Author: zoebartlett

That''s what I think too. I''ve never thought wearing black is a bad thing, even for a daytime affair, but it would seem kind of over the top if there was a lot of detailing (beading, sequins, etc.) on the dress.

It was just a fashion rule from way back. Apparently SOME still stick to it, as I looked it up and some are still saying don''t wear black before 6 PM. I dunno....



ds, lol You are not offending me at all! Yes, it DOES make for a very long day.

Most of the weddings I attend are catholic, and I "think" it has something to do with timing of the masses. All I know is, everyone does it this way now. I tried to think back to the last evening wedding I went to, and can''t remember! And between nieces and nephews and friends kids, there have been a lot.

But at least we have somewhere specifically to go this time, usually you are left to your own devices.



lol Skippy, I''m not so sure on the hot part, but I''ve definitely got the mama down.

 

[Mara]

i''ve worn black dresses to weddings before if they are evening receptions and i know it''s going to be a fancy to-do. sometimes you just can''t go wrong with black, with color i sometimes feel like i stand out too much and i kind of feel like the bride should be the only one shining that day. though i did wear a hot pink dress to my cousin''s wedding last year but it was outside during the day, in the middle of a hot summer so a lot of people had color on.

 

[Ellen]

Date: 5/9/2007 4:37:00 PM
Author: Mara
i''ve worn black dresses to weddings before if they are evening receptions and i know it''s going to be a fancy to-do. sometimes you just can''t go wrong with black, with color i sometimes feel like i stand out too much and i kind of feel like the bride should be the only one shining that day. though i did wear a hot pink dress to my cousin''s wedding last year but it was outside during the day, in the middle of a hot summer so a lot of people had color on.

I agree on the color thing, I usually stay away from that.

And I knew black was right for the evening, the day wedding and no way back to the hotel was what was messing me up. And just knowing the type of guests coming, and that etiquette will be at a hightened level, I just got worried.

Watch everyone go back to the hotel and change anyway.

 

[Ellen]

OK ladies, update. I went shopping last night and want honest opinions. I loved this dress (it''s very flattering, which the old bod can use), but wondered if it was too "youthful" for me. I''m 47. I asked my girlfriend, who WILL be honest, and she said, No, it looks like you, and you don''t look 47 (whatever THAT looks like). But that doesn''t make me any younger in reality...I also asked the shoe lady, and the purse lady, they both said it didn''t. So, what do you all think?

And ds, if you read this (and anyone else can answer), I know you said no embellishments on the dress (i.e. rhinestones, etc.) but is it ok that the buckle on my shoe has them? And the purse I wanted but they only had one that was flawed, had a rhinestone square thingy on it, that matched really well. I can order it if I don''t find anything else.

Ok, the dress. ALSO, necklace, or no?

 

[Ellen]

Up closer on bottom detail.

 

[Ellen]

I got a wrap to go with, it''s plain, with small satin trim, close up.

 

[Ellen]

Shoes.

 

[belle]

it really doesn't matter what style the dress is that you put on, as long as YOU are comfortable wearing it.
i'm thinking 'no' on the necklace, unless you have a really simple solitaire pendant or something. with that drapey neckline, i think a necklace would be too much.

 

[Ellen]

Date: 5/22/2007 11:19:11 AM
Author: belle
it really doesn''t matter what style the dress is that you put on, as long as YOU are comfortable wearing it.
i''m thinking ''no'' on the necklace, unless you have a really simple solitaire pendant or something.

You don''t like it!

And I thought no too.

 

[jcrow]

i''m also thinking no necklace since the dress neckline has lots of intrest with the way that it hangs.
i also think the shoes are fine. the buckle it just a nice finishing touch that makes them dressy shoes. there''s no flashy front to them.

 

[Love in Bloom]

Ellen...I don't think it matters what age you are. Your dress certainly seems appropriate for a wedding to me. I am of the philosophy you should wear what you like and what you feel good wearing. I'm 24 and sometimes I wear full length skirts with modest velvet blazers, kind of a victorian look sans bustle. My mom saw I what I was planning to wear out one night and told me we should switch clothes. She is 56 and was wearing black gaucho trousers, pin heeled calf high black leather boots and a pink angora ballerina neck sweater. We were wearing what we liked and nobody was staring at us like we had gone 'freaky friday.' Wear it and work it

!!!

P.S.
LOVE the shoes.

 

[belle]

Date: 5/22/2007 11:21:51 AM
Author: Ellen

Date: 5/22/2007 11:19:11 AM
Author: belle
it really doesn''t matter what style the dress is that you put on, as long as YOU are comfortable wearing it.
i''m thinking ''no'' on the necklace, unless you have a really simple solitaire pendant or something.

You don''t like it!

And I thought no too.

i was trying to say that it doesn''t matter if it seems ''youthful'' as long as you are comfortable. the attitude is the most important thing you will put on.

you need to wear the dress that you love and feel good in.

 

[Lorelei]

LOVE the dress and shoes, tres chic!

With the necklace I think keep it simple too.

 

[Gypsy]

I attended a wedding a while back where I wore a black knee length dress with a nice hat to the reception. It was fine... I think that as long as the dress is day time appropriate the color doesn''t matter so much.

 

[Ellen]

belle, I knew what you were saying.

jcrow, that''s what I thought about the neckline too. And I don''t have a good diamond solitaire anyway...

Love in Bloom, your post made me laugh. And I do agree that to a large extent, one should wear what makes them feel good. belle is right, attitude is most of it. I just keep thinking about a gal who''s a few years older than me, and she dresses like she''s a teen. People talk about it (and not in a nice way), I don''t want that.

Lorelei, thanks.

Thanks Gypsy.