So much anxiety, so little time!!

[bubbly1126]

Oh my, I don't know what it wrong with me! With the proposal being SO close (remember: June 9th, the LATEST), I have begun to have major anxiety. Not the kind where I am terrified or anything but... let's see, how do I explain this?

Just some thoughts that run through my mind:

-What moment is he going to pick?
-What is he going to say?
-Am I going to ball like a baby? <~~not even a question, I KNOW it's gonna happen!
-Is HE going to cry? Which will in turn send me into crying even more!
-Is it going to be in front of too many people? (I don't like this, he knows it, but I still worry.)
-Will I look good enough? What will I be wearing?
-OMG, this is REALLY happening AFTER all this time... I'm finally getting what I've wanted for so long! Again, OMG!!!

My stomach wells up in knots when I think about ALL of this. It's a good knotty feeling but you know, when can a knotty stomach ever REALLY feel good? haha. I know it's all for a good reason but seriously, it's not a pleasant feeling!

I've waited for this moment for 6.5 years... so I'm sort of flipping out. 6.5 years of pent up emotions and such. It's crazy.

THEN, I have these dreams of him backing out. Like just this one last night freaked me out. It turned out (in the dream) that he was cheating on me! I told him he could no longer come on the cruise with me (DUH!) and that we were done. He begged for my forgiveness and such and I said, no. It's done. I suppose this part of the anxiety is b/c we both know what this trip means... getting engaged or breaking up. Ahh. So much craziness going on in my head right now!

He seems... cool as a cucumber! I don't notice any anxiety on his part. But who knows, he could be hiding it well. But whenever we talk about the *cruise* and what it means, he says he's as ready as ever and can't wait. That's a good sign, right!?!?!

hehe. Oh, ladies. How am I going to make it through these next.. 11 days? Yes, I am counting down and have been since... oh, 130 days? HAHAHA.

This anxiety is going to kill me. I actually think it's worse than when I was just a LIW with no time line.

So what have I learned from all of this? Be careful what you wish for.

 

[Bia]

You''ll make it through it, and you''ll be fine. TRUST ME! I''ve been there

Exciting!

 

[Lauren8211]

Take a xanax!

Just teasing.

I would be going insane too. All I can say is that I''m sorry and it''ll all be over soon!

 

[Bdiddy26]

I''m in the same boat as you and I feel the exact same way!!

I have been freaking out the last few days and can''t get it out of my head!

 

[Dreamgirl]

Oh goodness! Sounds like your mind is running in all sorts of directions. Just try and stay calm. Everything will happen the way it should and it will turn out perfect! Try not to worry about it so much...

 

[Squirrly]

guess you''re just going to have to look cute for the whole cruise, huh

have fun being excited, and i hope he doesn''t decide to wait til the last day or so just to make you wonder that much more.

at least you have a whole bunch of romantic tropical places for him to choose from

and you''ll have some looooooooovely pictures when you get back to put on here, right?

 

[bubbly1126]

Thanks! I think I am just nervous/excited at the same time. My mind is bouncing all over the place!

Elle, Xanax? Where do I get it? I probably need a script from my doc, right? haha. Give me those meds!!

I''m trying to just relax... but a part of me just can''t believe it''s FINALLY here. There IS a light at the end of the this VERY long tunnel and I''m just so excited!

Oh and Squirrly, absolutely! I''ll have MANY pictures of our trip. Hopefully we get some of the actually proposal but who knows... I would love that though!

 

[Squirrly]

no prescription for a margarita

and a nice cup of tea works wonders. they do make st. john''s wort tea which is a nice mood enhancer.

i bet he could find someone to take a picture sneakily when he asks you, if not you could make a friend on the trip and ask that person to be your personal paparazzi just in case

 

[rialaine]

Enjoy the excitement hun! It won''t be much longer!

 

[bubbly1126]

Date: 5/21/2009 4:16:24 PM
Author: Squirrly
no prescription for a margarita

and a nice cup of tea works wonders. they do make st. john''s wort tea which is a nice mood enhancer.


i bet he could find someone to take a picture sneakily when he asks you, if not you could make a friend on the trip and ask that person to be your personal paparazzi just in case

Oo, so true! I LOVE Chili''s Raspberry Margarita''s... maybe one is in order! hehe...

Unfortunately, we can''t take anyone on the trip b/c it is a cruise. But he could [/b] still get someone else to take a picture. We shall see!

 

[bubbly1126]

Date: 5/21/2009 6:03:50 PM
Author: rialaine
Enjoy the excitement hun! It won''t be much longer!

Thanks hun!! I can''t wait!

 

[16ocean]

6.5 years! That is a long path together. I think it is so neat how well you must know each other. . . .Sending tranquil vibes and -DUST- your way

 

[bubbly1126]

Date: 5/21/2009 11:05:55 PM
Author: 16ocean
6.5 years! That is a long path together. I think it is so neat how well you must know each other. . . .Sending tranquil vibes and -DUST- your way

Thanks a bunch!

What I think is really neat is how you can love someone''s faults just as much as their good qualities. That''s how it is with my FF. Certain things might bug me about him to no end but they are the same reasons that I love him so much!

We''ve had our fair share of tough times, believe me, but in the end, I truly think we''ve grown together rather than apart and that''s definitely a good thing!

 

[Squirrly]

Date: 5/22/2009 8:14:15 AM
Author: inhisarms17
What I think is really neat is how you can love someone''s faults just as much as their good qualities. That''s how it is with my FF. Certain things might bug me about him to no end but they are the same reasons that I love him so much!

now just remember all this the more anxious you get so you don''t end up shaking him silly when he proposes for making you wait so long and appearing so calm about it!

just keep thinking about how wonderful your relationship is and how close you two have gron and maybe that''ll help calm you a little bit

 

[princessplease]

I hope it happens soon!!!! Enjoy the feelings, because soon, your bf will be your FI. It''s nerveracking, but totally worth it!!!

 

[bubbly1126]

Thanks again ladies for your calming words!

It''s so funny b/c I keep breaking out in song... "I''m so excited! And I just can''t hide it! I''m about to lose control and I think I like it!"

haha... FF just looks at me like I''m a freak.

But that''s why he loves me!

 

[idreamofcushions]

Yay! Lots of dust to you too! Looks like we'll be engagement-day twins. And your post is making me MUCH more excited about my own proposal! ahhhh!

ETA: oops, just reread your post and it looks like you'll have a June proposal? no engagement-day twins but it'll be close!

 

[bubbly1126]

Date: 5/22/2009 11:50:31 AM
Author: idreamofcushions
Yay! Lots of dust to you too! Looks like we''ll be engagement-day twins. And your post is making me MUCH more excited about my own proposal! ahhhh!

ETA: oops, just reread your post and it looks like you''ll have a June proposal? no engagement-day twins but it''ll be close!

Hehe. Yeah, it''ll be close! He''s got til the end of our cruise to ask... which is June 9th. But I''m hoping for a proposal the first night... (June 1st)... but hmm, I doubt he''ll do it then b/c it''ll be too expected. We shall see!

How exciting for you though!! I sent you dust in your thread but here''s a little more...

**************************DUST****************************

 

[16ocean]

"just keep thinking about how wonderful your relationship is and how close you two have grown and maybe that''ll help calm you a little bit

"

Good advice!- Squirrly

 

[tlh]

If you are really bored... tie all his socks together from end to end... hahaa! it just sounds funny! I''m such a prankster!

Actually everything you are feeling is normal. But the proposal is up to him, let him stress about it. For you, I''d focus on something ELSE to distract you... june 9th is 18 days away.

Pick something to do that is different and out of the ordinary. What are 18 things you''ve wanted to do or try, but haven''t done so far? A new place to eat? Seriously think about it. It could be something small like learning to do the hula hoop. (I still can''t do this one...)... to something big... climbing a mountain, taknig a hike, road trip to a nearby small city... stopping in the Cartier and browsing!

Just pick 18 small things to keep you occupied... like starting a fluff book... something borrowed and something blue are 2 really fluffy ones! I don''t play the sims because i totally lose track of time... what is your biggest distraction from reality... just get your mind off of it... go shopping even if you dont want to buy anything... go shoppnig for shoes, handbag, sunscreen, new towel, clothes, swimsuit... sexy undies for when he does propose!!!! OH YEAH BABY! and then when you are on your cruise... really enjoy yourself... distract yourself w/ scuba or snorkling, site seeing etc.

Exciting!!!

 

[bubbly1126]

Date: 5/22/2009 3:48:39 PM
Author: tlh
If you are really bored... tie all his socks together from end to end... hahaa! it just sounds funny! I''m such a prankster!

Actually everything you are feeling is normal. But the proposal is up to him, let him stress about it. For you, I''d focus on something ELSE to distract you... june 9th is 18 days away.

Pick something to do that is different and out of the ordinary. What are 18 things you''ve wanted to do or try, but haven''t done so far? A new place to eat? Seriously think about it. It could be something small like learning to do the hula hoop. (I still can''t do this one...)... to something big... climbing a mountain, taknig a hike, road trip to a nearby small city... stopping in the Cartier and browsing!

Just pick 18 small things to keep you occupied... like starting a fluff book... something borrowed and something blue are 2 really fluffy ones! I don''t play the sims because i totally lose track of time... what is your biggest distraction from reality... just get your mind off of it... go shopping even if you dont want to buy anything... go shoppnig for shoes, handbag, sunscreen, new towel, clothes, swimsuit... sexy undies for when he does propose!!!! OH YEAH BABY! and then when you are on your cruise... really enjoy yourself... distract yourself w/ scuba or snorkling, site seeing etc.

Exciting!!!

Thanks for the suggestions, TLH. I could definitely do some window shopping. That always takes up soooo much of my time!

I actually only have 10 days to distract myself b/c the cruise is June 1st and he''s proposing anytime between June 1st and the 9th. But yeah, work is doing a pretty good job of keeping my mind off of it but it''s at night that is the problem! haha, my mind just goes and goes and then I can''t sleep... and when I do sleep, I dream about it! haha. There is no way of getting around it!!

 

[wishinpink]

Maybe go work out? running? biking? yoga?

Being active keeps me a little more sane usually!