so..aliens and children

[rainbowtrout]

Calling PS mommies...

Did any of you have a "water birth" or any of the other non-traditional hospital births? I don't intend to have children for 3-5 years, but for some reason I have this morbid fear of pregnancy and childbirth. It doesn't help that surgery (and anesthesia!) freaks me out too, and my mother had to have a ceasarian (skinny hips). The "aliens" referant in the quote is that for awhile pregnancy reminded me of nothing so much as a sentient being sort of eating you from the inside out...

I shared that sentiment with my grandmother and mother recently and I swear they almost fainted. Grandmother said "Who ARE you???" in a confused way...and then told mother they were never getting grandchildren...


So I was reading the paper and saw this referance to "water birth" yesterday (and how you could even do it in some hospitals) and it actually didn't want to make me run screaming for the hills. No one I know has had anything more unusual than the whole Scientology birth thing, which is just a hospital birth with low lights...

So has anyone tried this? I'm trying to sort of acclimate myself to the whole pregnancy idea so that in a few years I don't totally flip out. I know that sounds premature, but I tend to start acclimating myself to big life things a few years in advance.

 

[lilyinct]

That alien comment is right on target...I''m 2 weeks from my due date, and some life force other than mine has taken over my body....it is the weirdest feeling watching your stomach move.

Anyways, this is my first child, so I can''t help you at all on the birth thing yet...but I am planning on having an epidural, anyways.

 

[rainbowtrout]

I may change my tune later, but not being able to feel my body below the legs when something is happening to it scares the crap out of me...hence the desire to avoid an epidural.

Best of luck with the delivery!

 

[indecisive]

Parasite might be a better characterization but cause the is basically what the baby does to you body

 

[sunkist]

Date: 4/29/2006 12:48:59 PM
Author: lilyinct
That alien comment is right on target...I''m 2 weeks from my due date, and some life force other than mine has taken over my body....it is the weirdest feeling watching your stomach move.


Anyways, this is my first child, so I can''t help you at all on the birth thing yet...but I am planning on having an epidural, anyways.

Congratulations Lilyinct! Good luck with your delivery, I hope all goes well for you and baby

 

[VegasAngel]

I think once you are actually pregnant you will feel different about the whole process. Giving birth is such a beautiful thing.
Epidurals are wonderful! I highly recommend one. Oh my lord I was in so much pain! My stupid nurse didnt bother to check me enough so by the time I got my epi. I was almost 9cm. Once I got that sucker I was in heaven. I dont know about water births, but I wouldnt mind having my next baby in a birthing center w/out meds rather than a hospital. It would be nice to be able to get up, walk around, crawl on all fours, whatever I needed to do to ease the pain and feel more comfortable.



Here is my 10 week old daughter Yvette Gabrielle w/mommy

 

[Mara]

Date: 4/29/2006 2:43:13 PM
Author: indecisive
Parasite might be a better characterization but cause the is basically what the baby does to you body

haha indecisive...i saw this discovery channel thing on babies a few years ago and that is totally how they spun it, i was fascinated by how ''parasitic'' the child is (or the whole process is rather) to your body. it''s funny when people talk about how you need to make sure the baby gets enough nutrients, because the baby (or again rather your body) will take what it needs from YOU as the host, so nutrients really are for the mother because the baby strips them from you as it grows. the show even showed how your body will take layers of calcium off your bones for the baby and that is why so many mothers crave calcium products like ICE CREAM, replenishment for your poor bones!!

amazing stuff anyway.

 

[mrssalvo]

Date: 4/29/2006 12:51:43 PM
Author: rainbowtrout
I may change my tune later, but not being able to feel my body below the legs when something is happening to it scares the crap out of me...hence the desire to avoid an epidural.


Best of luck with the delivery!

you can still feel your body you just don''t feel pain. it''s not like you are paralyzed and feel nothing. You can feel someone touching your legs, toes whatever, it just doesn''t hurt. I LOVE whomever it was that invented the epidural

 

[rainbowtrout]

Hm, that sounds better. Perhaps it was because mom had a c-section that she could not move...I am not certain. She did say she could feel the doctors hand up near her ribcage

 

[Kaleigh]

I''ve had 2 C-sections and had an epidural with both. Thank god I didn''t feel a thing. I could feel tugging, but that was it. The 24 hour labors with both kids and the pitocin, man that was painful. But without a C-section I would have been one of those mom''s that die. I am like a clam if you know what I mean. Never even got to 2 centimeters. SBT A water birth in a birthing center sounds great if you''ve already had a baby and know that you don''t have issues like I had. I''d also want it to be near a hospital in case anything goes wrong.

 

[rainbowtrout]

yes, hospitals are good things. I get a little miffed at people who go own about how childbirth is this all-natural thing. I suppose it IS, but is also is still the leading killer of women in some parts of the word.

Anyway, thanks. I was talking to my mother yesterday and mentionned that a)I've never actually held a baby and b)I've never seen anyone die. She said it seemed to be a generational gap because when she was young people still sometimes died at home, and babies seemed to be about (via extended family) much more. I've actually never directly known someone who was pregnant when they were showing, as odd as that sounds--which is probably why I'm a bit skittish on the whole subject.

 

[VegasAngel]

Most birthing centers are located next to a hospital.

There are some hospitals that have/offer a natural childbirth wing, you would be in complete control of your l&d.

 

[AndyRosse]

I think your view about pregnancy and childbirth will change in a couple years when you start to feel a maternal urge.

 

[partgypsy]

rainbow trout, it is perfectly natural to be afraid of the unknown, and until you experience pregnancy, it will be this big unknown. And of course there are all the worries, is this normal, not normal, will it be healthy, a straightforward or complicated birth, etc.

I have a friend who had her second child at a birthing center with water, but I think for a first time birth, esp if have maternal relatives who have had complications during labor, might be better to have at a hospital. I wanted to have mine in the hospital "just in case", but also did not want pain medications. From past experience my body seems extra sensitive to medications. I was more afraid of an epidural shutting down my contractions and forcing me to get a cesearan than time-delimited pain. I was getting pictocin, so yes there is pain. But it is normal pain. I don''t know if this makes any sense, it''s not like someone is sticking a knife in you but because your body is doing work to accomplish a goal.
Once I was in active labor I could get in a jacuzzi tub in the bathroom; that hot water helped SO MUCH with pain relief I totally recommend it, so can have some of your labor in water even if do not have birth at one of those water birthing centers.

 

[rainbowtrout]

hm, thanks guys. Makes me feel better to know that feeling nervous is normal and I''m not some freak of nature who will never want children

 

[leeenie]

rainbow, I feel the same way - I''m not planning on having any for at least 5 years, but I think about it in the meantime to mentally prepare myself...

The whole childbirth/pregnancy phase does not seem appealing to me an any way at all - just a necessary evil for procreation.
I''m uncomfortable with the animalistic and unequal nature of it all. The guy impregnates the woman, who is stuck bearing 100% of the burden of this parasitic being who makes the woman less functional (disrupts her life and job, if she has one), gain weight (besides the actual baby/uterus stuff), and puts her health at risk for over a year (including the newborn stage); and the guy doesn’t even have to blink!!! And then the woman has to spread-eagle it for a bunch of strangers while the baby rips her open and all these *things* come out in front of people who should not normally be seeing them (besides the baby - those who have given birth know what I''m talking about). On top of that, you have to *suckle* the baby at your breasts for at least a year (if you want it to be as healthy as possible), every few hours?? And regular deliveries put you at risk for permanent incontinence as well if you have a smaller frame. I''ve heard that pregnancy and giving birth are "beautiful" and whatnot...but physically, "ew."

(The latest birthing I''ve seen on TV was this A&E special where the woman had a midwife deliver at home; she was on her bed with legs splayed out for everyone to see EVERYTHING and groaning and moaning like a dying animal...eek)

 

[rainbowtrout]

well, our bodies are animals, I suppose, so that part of it doesn''t bother me as much. the hospital/cutting me open aspect scares me, as does the immense responsibility of the whole thing.

I do think society would benefit from giving women longer and no-penalty maternity leave in high pressure positions. Surely the talent we lose out on when women cannot do a good job at both, simply because of our infrastructure, is immense.

 

[sunkist]

Date: 4/29/2006 3:56:19 PM
Author: VegasAngel
I think once you are actually pregnant you will feel different about the whole process. Giving birth is such a beautiful thing.

Epidurals are wonderful! I highly recommend one. Oh my lord I was in so much pain! My stupid nurse didnt bother to check me enough so by the time I got my epi. I was almost 9cm. Once I got that sucker I was in heaven. I dont know about water births, but I wouldnt mind having my next baby in a birthing center w/out meds rather than a hospital. It would be nice to be able to get up, walk around, crawl on all fours, whatever I needed to do to ease the pain and feel more comfortable.





Here is my 10 week old daughter Yvette Gabrielle w/mommy

Awww!! Angel she is ADORABLE! How cute

 

[mingagreen]

Rainbow, you remind me of myself when I was a bit younger, I was so weirded out by pregnancy, never held a baby and actually have never experienced a death in the family!!
But once that maternal urge hit, watch out! I assumed I would have my children in a hospital, like most women do, however once I became pregnant with my first I started to do research into alternative ways and found a midwife. It was the best decision I ever made. I am totally for hospitals and think that we are so lucky as women to have the choices we have. I thought I would continue to see my reg. OBGYN along with my midwife, until, one day when I was only about 8 weeks along, he had me laying on the table, listened to the babies heartbeat, and I had started to tell him of my midwife and he said "And what wold you do if something happened to your baby?" which is a totally valid Q but the way he asked me, his demeaning tone, that was it, never went back!
I had considered a water birth, i have a few friends who have done it but I didn''t, not sure why! I did however labor for 6 hours in a hot tub and it was awesome!! I may be strange but I really liked labor! I loved feeling my body "perform" and take over, knowing it knew what it was doing. We are made to have babies!! I did not deliver in the tub, I moved to my bed and delivered there. I just had my second baby in December, at home as well. I had totally intended on getting in the tub, but things were moving so fast and it was so intense I could not move!!! There are alot of benefits to being in water, gravity is a tough one to deal with while in labor and the water makes you relaxed and more "flexible''!!!!
I think I am done having babies but I really enjoyed having home births. You are in the comfort of your own home, you can eat drink pee and scream when ever you want!!!
Whatever you do it is AMAZING!!!!!

 

[VegasAngel]

Thanks Sunkist She is a blessing & our pride & joy.

 

[VegasAngel]

Rainbowtrout when I was pregnant I spent a lot of my days watching births on the Discovery Health channel. Actually I still watch and cry everytime a baby is born. My husband asks how can I still watch that stuff. They show water births, hospital births, everything if you feel like checking it out.



Pregnancy does do a number on your body and L&D is painful, messy (You should have seen the Dr & nurses when I was finished) but the end result is so worth it. After what my husband witnessed I can tell you has a new respect for me.

It''s completely normal to be scared about the whole process. You & your husband will learn together.

 

[MINE!!]

Rainbow...

It is okay to be scared. Birth is a very scarey thing. I have had two and before BOTH births I was scared and nervous. Even though I knew what was going to happen!1 And do not shun that epidural.. MY GOD.. I would love to shake and kiss the hand of the man that created that miracle... WOW... Drugs do not make us bad mothers... just smarter ones..

Besides, they turn down your epidural during your pushing stage.. and I was able to walk within minutes of giving birth. So it does not incompactiate you that badly. Besides, I didn''t care if I felt nothing... (well you still feel enough) ... but it was wonderful NOT to feel the pain.

Ever heard of Natural Amnesia? This is God''s way of making sure that women continue to have children. I forgot exactly what it felt like within a few days of childbirth.

it is OK!! It is fine... take a deep breath and relax. As for the parasite thing... absoultely... but what a wonderful, amazing, miraculous, perfect little parasite it is. Don''t worry, when the time comes, you will not feel this way so much.. or at least, you won''t really care.

 

[rainbowtrout]

VegasAngel, you two do look adorable

Thanks MINE!!, I think the women in my family have such good amnesia that they just forgot they were scared at all

It''s good to know that the epidural doesn''t incapacitate you. I was speaking to my FMIL a few months ago and she said "Oh, I had my first two babies without anesthsia" I was ill at the time and not being as polite as normal, so I looked up from bed and said "WHY???" To which she said something about "I was committed to having them without drugs."

I don''t know, I would think the mother not being in screaming pain would have a good effect on the child...

 

[Small]

Vegas Angel...you look fabulous for just being 10 weeks out...I''m jealous LOL! Your daughter is beautiful too

Rainbow...I was also very, very afraid of labor. It scared the hell out of me. But truly at the end of 40 long weeks after going through morning sickness, getting fat, and having this being inside of you poking, prodding, moving, and generally making you uncomfortable the fear quickly turns into a determined state to get this baby out of me LOL. I had 2 c-sections...my first wasn''t coming out. She was stuck on my pelvic bone and it was quite, quite painful. I had the epidural along with pitocin. I highly recommend the epidural...it''s a god send LOL! Anyway after 14 hours of labor and no progression and my water already broken my dr along with myself and my husband agreed it was time for her to come out. My c-section was pretty painful since she was stuck. They actually had to put me out because when they were pulling I was in pain. She was definitely worth all the pain though. She''s my little angel girl. The second time was a planned c-section and it was a breeze. I had the spinal...I was very scared but it was awesome! No pain during the surgery all I felt was the release when they pulled my son out. That was it.
I''m actually thankful I didn''t endure the pain of giving birth vaginally...I don''t think I''m cut out for the pushing and such. I''m such a wimp with pain

I''d highly recommend a birthing center at least the first time around...you never know what kind of complications that could happen so it''s best to be in a facility where they can take action if necessary. I think as you get older and your urge for children gets stronger you''ll feel differently. Pregnancy and child birth are miracles...it''s well worth everything you go through for the end result!

 

[VegasAngel]

Thanks Rainbowtrout & small