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Smartest thing your parents did with you, or you did with your kids?

diamondyes

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Oct 16, 2020
Messages
1,700
My parents started a dinner time tradition where everyone would say their “high” and “low” or the day. This was a great practice to implement because it helped avoid the stalled convos of:
“how was your day?”
“Good”
“What did you do?”
“Nothing”

Haha.

Instead the high and low of the day was shared by each person and you really got to the good stuff :)
 

Gussie

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Apr 20, 2017
Messages
3,700
My parents started a dinner time tradition where everyone would say their “high” and “low” or the day. This was a great practice to implement because it helped avoid the stalled convos of:
“how was your day?”
“Good”
“What did you do?”
“Nothing”

Haha.

Instead the high and low of the day was shared by each person and you really got to the good stuff :)

We do this too. Our questions are, "best part of your day/worst part of your day and what did you learn from it?" It's a great way to get kids involved in the conversation. Yes/no questions absolutely don't work with kids!
 

dk168

Super_Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jul 7, 2013
Messages
12,502
Sent me to UK for a better education, and I escaped their overbearing clutches at the earliest opportunity!

DK :lol-2:
 

Madam Bijoux

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jul 15, 2005
Messages
5,385
My mother taught me to read when my school teacher was unable to do so.
 

pearlsngems

Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Jan 4, 2010
Messages
2,835
My husband and I agreed from the start that we would never lie to our daughter.
Of course there are many things that were not appropriate to share with her, but whatever we did tell her was true.

Also, we made it clear she could always talk to us, about anything. She's 26 now and we have a close, trusting relationship with her.
 

Lookinagain

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
May 15, 2014
Messages
4,570
I started taking my daughter on yearly trips to Europe when she was 6. She hated school, and was not a good student because she had some learning issues, although very bright. So I'd take her on a trip every school vacation and we'd go to the museums and other cultural sites in each place that we visited. She loved it and learned a lot and remembered it. So she learned things by travelling that she couldn't, or wouldn't, learn in school. It also gave her a chance to see how other cultures lived, what they ate, etc. I think it broadened her acceptance of differences in people, her horizons as well as her palate. When she turned 8 (I think it was) on a trip to Paris I asked her what she wanted for her birthday dinner and she told me escargot!
 

YadaYadaYada

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Feb 2, 2016
Messages
11,912
I made it a point to read to my kids from newborn on. I remember every bottle with my older son we would sit and read stories, even if it was 4am! My younger son was a very fussy baby but one day I just grabbed a book and started reading and he settled down almost instantly.

By far that effort has been one of the best things, our older son is an excellent reader (and has excellent spelling) and our younger one still enjoys having stories read to him at seven. He can read them himself but he would rather us read to him ;-)
 

Begonia

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Feb 2, 2011
Messages
3,249
We helped both sons with a paper route, so they could save money for their first computers (years ago now). They learned early we didn't have the funds to buy them expensive extras, so they've always had jobs (since they were 8 ) and are now very good savers.

Family suppers every night, altho I'm now working shifts, but they all eat together anyway. I'm there for some of them.

Not paying for university has really kept class failures to zero, as it's their money. We pay living expenses but they pay for school.

We read to them every night. Kiddie books become series (Harry Potter, The Lord of the Rings etc). They didn't really early, but quickly gained reading skills and comprehension. Read to your kids.
 
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missy

Super_Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Jun 8, 2008
Messages
54,197
Our parents gave us the building blocks to be able to do anything we set our minds to...they always taught us education is the cornerstone to success and to be able to achieve all we want and hope to achieve. No one could ever take education away from us. That if we work hard and take school seriously and do our best we could do anything. And that they loved us no matter what.

They always had an open door policy with us. We could tell them anything and they were there for us. They wouldn't budge us. We had a loving and childhood with unconditional acceptance. Of who we are not who they wanted us to be. Nor who society told us we were supposed to be. I wish every child could have a similar childhood. It would make a huge difference in this world.

If every child was loved and accepted unconditionally by their parents and told they could become anything they wanted if they worked hard enough and didn't give up. And no matter what, had parents who love them.

Thanks Mom and Dad for giving us all we ever needed to become happy and successful adults.



59320-Elie-Wiesel-Quote-Emphasis-must-be-put-on-learning-there-is-no.jpg
 

fascinatedbyfacets

Rough_Rock
Joined
Mar 24, 2022
Messages
6
This might be long

When I was 8 I was given a list of weekly chores to complete. I was paid a weekly allowance that increased each year on my birthday. I was required by house rules to save at least 10% of my weekly allowance. If I saw something I wanted to buy I was encouraged to save more than the 10% in order to save up faster. Save now, spend later. Additionally, it was suggested that we put another 10% toward tithing or charity but we were allowed to choose whether or not to do this. To this day though, I still religiously pay 10% of our income to tithing. Tithing was always paid first by my parents so I followed suit and I believed then as I do now, that you get back what you give.

We had a lot of conversations about savings, and avoiding debt at the dinner table. And we ate a sit down dinner where everyone made a contribution to the preparation of the meal every Wednesday and Sunday. Us kids would set the table, cut veggies for the salad, peel the potatoes, shuck the corn, snap the beans etc. I’m the oldest of 7. Every one of us (along with our partners) lives within our means thanks to our parents efforts and expectations.

When I was 12 I was given a credit card with my own name on it. I was expected to use it wisely, never spend on it more than I could pay off by the time the bill arrived. I was required to maintain a checking account in my own name to write checks from to pay the bill myself. I was expected to walk or ride my bike to the post office and pay for the postage myself to mail off that bill.

These experiences have been invaluable!

My husband and I decided early on in our marriage that we would to have no mortgage by the time we turned 40. (I’m 45, he’s 47 now) We met that goal and countless others regarding short term accessible savings, long term investments and debt avoidance.

When my friends got married they all got fantastic engagement rings, had fairytale weddings and their first homes were dream homes.

We chose just a pre loved platinum and diamond wedding band on jewelers row in Philadelphia, that we could afford to pay cash for. We got married at the courthouse with just our parents in attendance and in lieu of a traditional reception we hosted a catered dinner for family and friends at a local fine restaurant, which we could afford to pay for without debt. Our first home was the size of many peoples two car garage.

I’m one of the few of my HS friends still married! And extremely happily I should add! We thoroughly enjoyed each other’s company when all we could afford for date night was to frugally grocery shop together. And of course we couldn’t have had a better time for our 20th wedding anniversary on a Regent cruise in one of their best suites, absolutely guilt free as it was paid for without debt. We made it a priority to never stop dating.

I hope by implementing the same efforts, we are teaching our 6 children as well as I was taught by my parents!

I had to wait until 17yrs later, when I was pregnant with our 5th baby to finally get my official “engagement” ring.

Everything we’ve chosen to forgo or waited for was absolutely worth it!
 
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qubitasaurus

Brilliant_Rock
Premium
Joined
Dec 18, 2014
Messages
1,655
I actually think taking an interest in what we thought, valuing our opinions and, always being there for us was probably the best thing my parents did. My parents also very much valued education, and they generally always helped with school work (when they couldnt they hired a tutor to explain the subject.). Both my brother and I have similar values to my parents. I think them always making time and valuing our input, valuing education rubbed off. While I don't need my children to be an image of me. I can think of lots worse ways my brother and I could have turned out.
 

Ally T

Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Oct 24, 2012
Messages
8,552
Our parents provided a warm, open & very loving home. There were 4 of us & no matter what the situation or drama, there was always someone to listen, offer solutions, take the p!ss, make everyone laugh & give hugs. We always felt secure & valued. As long as we tried our best & didn't ever tell lies, mum & dad would always tell us how amazing we were & how proud of us they were.

Mr T & I do this with our girls now. There is a lot of laughter in this house, it's happy, content & full of love. Our girls know they can come to us with anything, no matter how big or how small, and we will listen, offer advice, administer hugs, tell them we love them & then make them laugh. It's how Team T roll & I know they will value it as much as I did when growing up. I often miss my childhood home & wish I could be 16 again, with all of us under one roof & my father still alive.
 

jordyonbass

Ideal_Rock
Trade
Joined
Dec 6, 2014
Messages
2,118
Put me through squad swimming training, for how much time I spend on boats and in the water itself it's been one of those things that has served me better than I probably realise. A couple marine rescues and other things where a less strong swimmer could have found themselves in trouble (let me be clear on that, not me needing to be rescued but rather doing the rescuing ourselves).
 

nala

Ideal_Rock
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Joined
Oct 23, 2011
Messages
7,060
My mom would read Spanish paperback novellas, and I would get bored so I taught myself to read them. Dad was such a grinch who hated tv, so we didn’t have one. Instead we had to use our imagination to have fun.
My ex took DD to story time. Taught her to sink or swim, literally, lol. And me. I did all the rest. Lol
 

LilAlex

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Mar 3, 2018
Messages
3,687
everyone would say their “high” and “low” or the day

We use our family Snapchat for this! The perfectly-poured latte; the utterly failed parallel-park job...

From our parents: value of education; importance of reading (house full of books); saving money for future needs; honesty; being emotionally available in a time of need

To our kids: [same, I hope]

I have been super-impressed that our kids take little from what we say and everything from what we do :cool2:. It seems so obvious but I did not expect that.
 

Daisys and Diamonds

Super_Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 30, 2019
Messages
23,018
While my dad was alive we spent time together
We ate together
and watched tv together
we took lots of road trips and had Sunday drives every sunday together
We listened to each other's music in the car
we ate icecream together
We always took the long way around, the scenic route
Where does that road go ?
Lets find out - together

we went to museums and botanical gardens together
we played board games on wet days and mini putt or swing ball or frisbee in the sunshine

We were far from perfect and we did fight and us kids did like to spend time in our rooms but mum and dad always wanted us to be together
We went to the beach together

I don't really understand families that don't spend time together (by choice) playing games with their kids
 

MoxiRoxi

Rough_Rock
Joined
May 13, 2020
Messages
96
When my boys were too old to have me read to them at bedtime (8 & 10yrs old?), I allowed them to stay up and read on their own, for as long as they wanted to. They could read anything from comics to novels. Never once did I have to tell them to turn out their light and go to sleep. As they got older, they regulated their own sleep, went up to bed to read and settle in without prodding.

They are both still avid readers today.
 

stracci2000

Ideal_Rock
Premium
Joined
Jun 26, 2007
Messages
8,440
My mom always had her nose in a book.
When I was in middle school, I worked my way through her bookcase, devouring the racy novels and other books that she had no idea I was reading!
She used to say that it was a sin to throw away a book.
I am now an avid reader....thanks Mom!
 

Brigid

Shiny_Rock
Joined
Oct 28, 2021
Messages
188
My parents held positions within Government and Social Services, they are passionate about art, music, politics & community development!
Our household was pretty dynamic growing up, it was busy we we’re taken to libraries, art galleries, the opera, ballet and gardens.
Anything we showed interest in my parents gave us access to (within reason).
I grew up in an inner city suburb so after school I’d catch the tram to Parliament to meet my Dad. We would go to dinner & discuss the world, politics and how everything was going.
My Mother has read Vogue through all the years I can remember, she is the reason I love beautiful things!
I’m the next generation of my parents, I’ve been blessed to have them & relish their teachings!
 
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