Sigh.

[elephant]

Ok, I know I''m being somewhat childish, but here it goes. So, my 19 year old cousin just came home from college and announced (and she was very dramatic about it) that she''s engaged after knowing this guy for about 6 mos. and she wants to get married maybe this summer. More power to her -- I''m happy that she''s happy. The thing is, my boyfriend is supposed to propose in the next two months after dating for two years. (We went and looked at rings last night and basically picked out the style and all that.) And everyone was getting excited about his proposal and all that. And this sudden announcement, to be perfectly honest, I feel like she''s sort of stolen my thunder. A little...? I''m sort of mad and then I''m mad for being mad because that''s so immature and stupid and I should really just be happy for her, etc. I guess I felt like this was sort of my time? and it''s not really fair to her bc people can get engaged whenever they want, but you know what I mean? Anyone?

 

[AChiOAlumna]

It''s hard to stand by and watch when you know you''re so close to your own engagement!! Within 2 months, you''ll be stealing her thunder as she''s planning a wedding and suddenly all production stops because your engagement is announced!

Another thing I kept thinking as I was reading your post is that she''s 19!! That''s quite young and to only know her BF for 6 months before the engagement, it''ll be interesting to see if she''ll make it to the altar!! You, on the other hand, have known your BF for 2 years, demonstrating a more carefully planned engagement...

Enjoy her engagement...you''ll be enjoying your''s soon enough!!!

 

[Munchkin]

I can honestly say that I would feel the same way, and would probably only share it with other LIWs! It''s one of those things that you don''t feel right admitting out loud, but feel free to vent about here on this anonymous forum!

I would also want only the best for my cousin, but feel a) a bit slighted (that is a stronger word than what would truly express my feelings - but that''s all I can come up with at the moment!) and b) jealous that she was engaged before me, and after dating for such a brief period. I would let myself feel those feelings without letting it impact my realtionship with her.

Besides, at the rate she''s moving, the wedding could be over and done with as you begin your engagement period. Regardless of timelines, your family will focus on your big event because they love you and want to support you.

Munchkin

 

[heartsonfire]

I feel for you. I felt something similar. Friends left and right got engaged... married... and what about me. I did everything right with my ex bf for almost 2 years and we have been talking about getting married half year after we were dating. We looked at rings for almost a year. All I want is to be happy like everyone else. I just wanted to be engaged. Honestly I was so jealous but I could never admit it in public. Like you said Munchkin, it feels great to vent anonymously here on PS. Aren''t we lucky.

And I also agree with Achioalumna, your 19 year old cousin is quite young. Good luck to her and her new fiance. I do wish her all the best.

But now to you, my dear, your engagement will be the best. It will happen for you and it will be the most wonderful time of your life. Keep me posted sweetie.

 

[MissAva]

Wow 19 that is very young, how will they pay for school, housing and other basic living expenses? Do they realize that their parents will no longer be able to keep them on health insurence and car insurence plans once they are wed? I hope they are thinking about this clearly. Is the boy older?
What a bummer to have your pre engagement bliss disrupted. I know how jealous you must feel. I have been dating so four and half years now. I have had friends start dating and get married since we exclusive. It hurts when people look at my hand expectanly or make worried faces when I say we are not yet engaged. I cant imagine how I would feel if anyone in my family got engaged.Vent here as much as you like, I will always have an open ear for you. Even though you are down right now just picture your perfect moment and knwo that it is coming. She got engaged first true however that doesnt make you commitment any less important. The man you love is going to ask you to be his forever, and you will say yes. *hug*

 

[elephant]

Girls, I can''t thank you enough for all your support. Nobody else would "get it" OR they would be horrified by my evil

thoughts.

You all made me feel so much better. Thank you!!

Well, to update you all. I slept on it and felt better and THEN I heard the REAL story. Well, apparently, my aunt convinced her not to get married until after she graduates in three years (and I''m really glad about that for all the reasons that you wonderful girls listed) and here''s the shocker: SHE PROPOSED TO HIM and doesn''t have a ring yet because she felt like it was going to take forever for him to propose! Hahaha. Well, doesn''t she have some chutzpah.

When I heard that, I couldn''t help but think of all of us here on PS. Waiting and waiting and waiting.

I guess way to take the bull by the horns, eh? More power to her, but part of me is sad because I think (or at least thought) that the waiting, while irritating to put it mildly, is part of the magic? And, so I''m kind of sad that she may have missed out on that. But, I suppose everyone is different. But, it does send HUGE alarm bells ringing through my head. And to answer your questions: No, he isn''t older, in fact, he dropped out of school due to financial reasons and in state status or something like that? He''s working at McDonalds right now. Good for him for getting a job, but geez, I don''t know if you can support someone on a McDonalds salary, but maybe I''m wrong? And my uncle is sort of mad at her.


And this may seem bad to say, but I feel like my engagement would be more welcome. a) They love my bf and know him well. b) We''re older and more responsible. c) We''ve been dating a long time and so, people aren''t concerned as much about the success of the relationship. And I feel bad because I''m afraid this is a "young love" type sit. and it may crash and burn -- it may not (and I hope it doesn''t so my cousins feelings aren''t hurt). d) And gosh darn it, I throw one heck of a great party an thus my wedding will be more fun. There I said it.

hehehehe.

Thank you again for your support -- it means the world to me!