Sabine
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Aug 16, 2007
- Messages
- 3,445
I'm having trouble keeping my big mouth shut. I'm pretty sure I should, but I think I need to be reassured that I'd be sticking my foot in my mouth if I did. Here's the story:
On of my closest friends and bridesmaids called to tell me that she is engaged. I'm totally happy for her, and I think that she deserves all the happiness in the world. However, I think she might need a bit of a reality check. Her story is that she started dating her FI in high school. She went away to college, where they continued in a long distance relationship. They broke up right before summer after freshman year, so when she went home for the summer, she was not with him and didn't really see/speak to him. After coming back to school Sophomore year, they got back together and continued long distance all while fighting and being stressed over barely seeing each other. They were together that summer and actually saw each other, but then Junior year when it was long distance again there was a cheating incident, and they broke up again. They got back together at the end of the following summer and were together all of senior year. After graduation, she moved even further away. Now she lives in the South, and he is in New York. They are both about to graduate from further education. HOWEVER, she got a job in the DC area, and he has an intership for a year far away. They do plan on living in the same area after they are married, but their plan is to get married, then move to the same area. So essentially, although they have been together for a number of years, the amount of time they actually spent living in the same area is very minimal, and their track record is not great.
From my own experience...my FI and I had lived together for a summer before officially moving in together. We've lived together for almost 3 years and now are about to get married. We thought we knew everything about each other before we moved in, and that it would be a simple transition. Looking back now, I realize just how much we struggled. I'm so tempted to at least advise my friend that getting married without even living in the same town as her FI for the past 5 years is going to be rough, but I don't think she wants to hear it. I'm just worried that if she doesn't hear how hard it really is to live with someone, she will get married and be blown away by how hard it is. This isn't my place to tell her, is it?
On of my closest friends and bridesmaids called to tell me that she is engaged. I'm totally happy for her, and I think that she deserves all the happiness in the world. However, I think she might need a bit of a reality check. Her story is that she started dating her FI in high school. She went away to college, where they continued in a long distance relationship. They broke up right before summer after freshman year, so when she went home for the summer, she was not with him and didn't really see/speak to him. After coming back to school Sophomore year, they got back together and continued long distance all while fighting and being stressed over barely seeing each other. They were together that summer and actually saw each other, but then Junior year when it was long distance again there was a cheating incident, and they broke up again. They got back together at the end of the following summer and were together all of senior year. After graduation, she moved even further away. Now she lives in the South, and he is in New York. They are both about to graduate from further education. HOWEVER, she got a job in the DC area, and he has an intership for a year far away. They do plan on living in the same area after they are married, but their plan is to get married, then move to the same area. So essentially, although they have been together for a number of years, the amount of time they actually spent living in the same area is very minimal, and their track record is not great.
From my own experience...my FI and I had lived together for a summer before officially moving in together. We've lived together for almost 3 years and now are about to get married. We thought we knew everything about each other before we moved in, and that it would be a simple transition. Looking back now, I realize just how much we struggled. I'm so tempted to at least advise my friend that getting married without even living in the same town as her FI for the past 5 years is going to be rough, but I don't think she wants to hear it. I'm just worried that if she doesn't hear how hard it really is to live with someone, she will get married and be blown away by how hard it is. This isn't my place to tell her, is it?