setting mistake

[midgirl]

Hello all. I am beginning to think that my "favorite" and currently being made setting is something that I do not want.

For those of you who know I picked out one of the signed pieces shared prong platimum 1/2 eternity setting.

I am beginning to think that I wouldn''t like something so diamondy at all. I am a pretty quiet and traditional.

Did I make a mistake?

Should I tell my boyfriend to call and cancel?

I battled between a traditional 6 prong setting (a thin band) and this signed pieces setting.

http://www.thefacetscollection.com/item.cfm?item_id=2359

I think I want the solitaire. They are beautiful and classic. I like the way they both look but I just don''t know.

Also, what about my wedding band? With the signed pieces setting I think it will be hard to find a good wband that won''t damange the shared prong etc.

What should I do?? I am really worried that I won''t like it, or am I just afriad to step out of my comfort zone? It is different when you see it on line then when it is going to be YOUR ring forever. This is horrible, I don''t want him to have to send it back!

What should I do??

Thanks in advance for your ideas and thoughts

 

[gailrmv]

It's a beautiful setting! I really like it, and I think it is still traditional while being different from the same-old.

But two questions, is it too late to have it cancelled, and also, don't they make a matching wedding band for it? If so I wouldn't worry about that.
If you are unsure and it is not too late to have it cancelled, then you could always have it put into a very inexpensive tiffany style setting ($1-200 for white gold) while you think things over.

Have you had a chance to try on the style and did you like it on your hand? Buyers remorse is very common, it's happened to me, especially when there are a lot of great choices and you can't go wrong. But I do think this is a great setting and it should be beautiful, and very high quality.

 

[f0rbidden]

I think you should choose whatever makes you happy - you know, just for the record, people haven''t always worn their erings and wrings on the same hand - in fact, it was common practce to wear your ering on your left hand UNTIL the wedding, when it was moved to the right hand and your wband was placed on the left..so, if you are concerned about a band damaging your ring, wear them on different hands!

Honestly, if you are hesitant about the ring you picked, you should tell your bf the truth..honesty really is the best policy, ESPECIALLY with your marriage pending!

Good luck...and remember to follow your heart!

 

[midgirl]

I haven''t ever tried on a ring. I have put plain white gold bands on my finger to see about width but the bf doesn''t want any ring on there unless it is the one he buys. I repsect that and have never tried a thing on. He is also pretty traditional (besides letting me help pick the setting) and would like the only ring I ever put on that finger to be from him. At the same time I would like to see what they look like on my hands! That seems really important! I don''t want to go to stores behind his back and try them on-sigh

I think the idea of something "permanent" is what makes me nervous. Buyers remorse probably.

But still I am a vey plain and "boring" kind of nuetral person (not THAT boring!) and just think what if this isnt the one for me!

I will tell him though he does need to know. The setting has not been mailed to him yet. I think they are in the process of making it and I know that he talked to the rep and put the order in (4 weeks to get it). The matching wedding band, from what I have heard (correct me if I am wrong) is also a chared prong setting and the diamonds can rub against each other and damage each other. I don''t know how the w band would work though. SP says they have tried to fix the problem. I just don''t know enough about the setting and w band to know.

Interesting point about the wearing rings on different hands, I never thought about that!

You guys are great. And thank you.

 

[jaz464]

Okay, your boyfriend will not let you try rings on? How are you supposed to know what looks good on your finger? Seeing a ring online and in pictures is not the same think as seeing it on your finger in person. Others around here have been disappoined with settings because they loved the picture but not they way it looked on their particular finger. I think you really need to have a talk with the BF. Trying rings on will not make your e-ring less special. Sorry, but this just sounds ridiculous to me. He doesn't own your finger does he?

I would get out to some jewelry stores and see some rings on your fingers. I would put the setting on hold for now (if it's not too late) until you are completly comfortable with the setting you choose.

 

[orbaya]

Your BF won''t let you try on settings to see what you like?? Wow. Sounds sort of controlling to me. Did I understand you correctly about that?

If you aren''t sure you''d like that setting as your ering, what about contacting SP and see if they can turn it a diamond wedding band, and use a plain band for your ering?

 

[jaz464]

Date: 2/25/2006 1:30:57 PM
Author: orbaya

Your BF won''t let you try on settings to see what you like?? Wow. Sounds sort of controlling to me. Did I understand you correctly about that?

If you aren''t sure you''d like that setting as your ering, what about contacting SP and see if they can turn it a diamond wedding band, and use a plain band for your ering?

That''s what I was thinking too...

 

[Lorelei]

I agree with Jazmine and Orbaya, how are you supposed to know what looks good on you and what you prefer? Why does he have a problem with you just trying on rings? Has he given you a valid reason?

 

[midgirl]

Hey thanks again.

No I don''t think he is controlling. He didn''t want me to be a part of the process at all to begin with (you know some guys like it to be a surprise, and yes some girls are disappointed). I finally got him to let me look at things with him. Especially after he found out how much there is to know about diamonds shape cut angles etc (THANK U PS!!). I think he feels that a girl shouldn''t really be picking it out, although he has budged and realized that my help would be good. We picked out the setting and we also picked out the budget together and the general size and shape of the center stone. Who knows why he wants the finger reserved. I think he doesn''t want me to try on something huge and love it (b/c he can''t afford it) or try on something the opposite of what he got me (if he has bought the stone, not sure) and then he will feel like he picked out something bad.

I could go with gf''s to try them on. I wouldn''t mind telling him to put the setting on hold. It won''t "delay" anything. He could ask in April or August, I am not in a rush at all.

Trying on settings does seem important. I have no idea what looks good on my hand!! Someone should give him a talking to!

 

[orbaya]

Date: 2/25/2006 1:37:53 PM
Author: midgirl
Hey thanks again.

No I don't think he is controlling. He didn't want me to be a part of the process at all to begin with (you know some guys like it to be a surprise, and yes some girls are disappointed). I finally got him to let me look at things with him. Especially after he found out how much there is to know about diamonds shape cut angles etc (THANK U PS!!). I think he feels that a girl shouldn't really be picking it out, although he has budged and realized that my help would be good. We picked out the setting and we also picked out the budget together and the general size and shape of the center stone. Who knows why he wants the finger reserved. I think he doesn't want me to try on something huge and love it (b/c he can't afford it) or try on something the opposite of what he got me (if he has bought the stone, not sure) and then he will feel like he picked out something bad.

I could go with gf's to try them on. I wouldn't mind telling him to put the setting on hold. It won't 'delay' anything. He could ask in April or August, I am not in a rush at all.

Trying on settings does seem important. I have no idea what looks good on my hand!! Someone should give him a talking to!

IMO, it's important to try on rings on your ring finger...what might look good one one finger might not necessarily look good on another. I am a little confused. You first said that he doesn't want you to try on rings because he wants the ring to be one he bought. In your next post you can try rings on with GFs but the finger is "reserved". If he doesn't want much input from you on the ering, I hope you won't have a problem telling him you don't like it (if that happens), and that he's open to change if you want.

If he goes ering shopping with you and lets you try stuff on, it will help prevent him from feeling like he "picked out something bad", because chances are he wouldn't with your input. You obviously want to have a more active role in choosing your ring, and he's barely allowing that. After all, this ring will be on YOUR hand forever, not his. If you want to give your opinion you should be able to IMO.

If you want him to get a talking to, send him here because he'll definitely get it!

 

[Demelza]

I used to have the SP shared prong eternity set and switched to a Tiffany replica six-prong, in large part because I was having problems with the diamonds rubbing against one another and the center prongs. I know SP has said that they have fixed the problem, so I would want them to explain to me how they have done that. Also, I would like to add that SP is a company that totally and completely stands behind their products. If you hare not happy with the result or if you have problems from wearing the rings together, in my experience, they are only too happy to make it right. So, rest assured, that you are in good hands whatever you choose. Good luck!!!

 

[dani13]

Midgirl-

Sorry about your dilemma...however, this is just too much $$$ to spend to not be in love and totally comfortable with your setting. If you are unsure, give SP a call and put a stop on the order. Then, as the previous poster said, a good idea might be just putting the diamond in a plain WG solitaire setting. Then you could get the idea of how a solitaire looks on your finger and do some research in the meantime. You MUST go out and try different settings on. How does your bf expect you to know what you like? Go with him and do the research together. My FI and I did everything together- picked the diamond, setting, etc..., and suprisingly we both loved the same things!! And it was a wonderful experience! Good luck!

 

[midgirl]

Hey thank to all of you. I think I will tell him tonight that I would really like to ask he he can "hold" the setting process. I know he ordered it but perhaps they could "hold" it for now. Then I will ask if we can try some settings on at a mall store or something. If I only try on very small diamonds, maybe he won''t mind. I just know his reasons are many including what I have already said. He doesn''t want me to try on an 8,000 stone when there is no way we will buy it. If I fall in love with something I can''t have he will feel like what he can afford is inadequate. That is what I meant by the reasons why. And yes the ring finger is "reserved".

I will talk to him tonight and see if we can at least try on a diamondy band and a completely plain band.

Good idea!

Thank so much to all of you!!

 

[dani13]

Midgirl-

I''m sorry- I just dont understand why you are so apprehensive to try on settings with larger diamonds (or CZ''s for that matter) in them than what your bf bought you. Why is your bf so insecure that he thinks by simply trying on something that would make you dislike what he got you? Because of this you are simply "banned" from trying on anything else? Why is he even bothering to spend the $$$ to buy you something it seems that he has more input in than you- and you are the one wearing it??!!!

I am confused....

 

[midgirl]

I don''t think there is any reason to be confused. I understand where he is coming from. That isn''t my complaint at all. I just didn''t know if I made a mistake with the setting. If I wanted solitaire or diaond band. My mother and sister both had no idea what they were getting and were not involved in the process at all and they are both happier than anyone I know!

The situation between my bf and I is completely fine we understand what we both want and respect each other. He is not insecure at all. I know plenty of men who want to do the entire process alone, and I am lucky to be a part of it.

I think, like I said, that we will go try some things on today. It is too big of a decision just to see and buy rather than try and buy! I mean I spent $150.00 on boots and try them on for about 30 minutes before purchasing. I understand what you all mean and I agree totally.

I just don''t agree that he is controlling or insecure. Maybe it is a midwestern thing?? But almost all of my friends had nothing to do with the process and I am lucky to pick out the setting and the size (.8-1.1) of the diamond I would like.

I LOVE the SP setting, comletely

, I just don''t know if it will look right on me, you know? When I see solitaires on this site and also rings that my family and friends have I tend to like them. A lot.

Trying them on, don''t worry guys! I will come back with comments about what I found tonight or tomorrow night!
Again, thanks to all who reponded or who will respond!!

 

[dani13]

Midgirl-

Ok, I can understand what you are saying. But, if you had NOTHING to do with this whole ring-selecting process I would understand it MORE. The fact that you ARE involved makes me feel that you should have a say in what you want, and that means going and trying different settings so that you know what you like....if he did not want your input, you shouldnt have been involved in the 1st place... you know what I mean?

 

[firebirdgold]

How about trying things on your right hand ring finger?? And if you''re just going to see how things look on your hand, this might be a time for the ''what he doesn''t know won''t hurt him'' philosphy. After all you''re not looking for the ring of your dreams or anything.
I haven''t told my bf that I stopped by a vatche retailer during my last trip to try things on. I must say that I was surprised at the results, and it was well worth my time. For instance I like the look of the knife-edge x-prong but did not like how it felt on me.

 

[midgirl]

agreed!

 

[midgirl]

Hey all, UPDATE TIME.

I went and tried a bunch of things on, it took a lot of convincing!!

We went. Luckily I tried on diamondy bands and LOVED THEM on me. I also LOVED the solitaire settings, but since we have aldreay ordered the signed pieces I will stick with that. I really did love both-I mean anything with a diamond in it is beautiful!

They didn''t have a shared prong 1/2 eternity setting, but they had channel settings and other diamond bands. So I was able to see what they looked like on me. They didn''t have a 2.2mm band there either, I had to try on a smaller band (which was great) and a bigger one (which was not so great).

The SP setting is 2.2 mm and I know that is thin, but I liked one at the store that was even thinner...with a 1 c center stone, would it be a little dangerous to have a 4 prong extrememly thin setting?

I think I might have to stick with 2.2mm (which is still really thing, right) especially for safety reasons. Is there an average or normal band thickness?

We are planning for an upgrade after graduate school. But Keeping that in mind, the 2.2 will be safer in the long run.

Also because I didn''t try on the shard prong, I culdn''t get a feel for if it would run against my pinky and blister. Hmmm...

So how thick is 2.2 anyways?

I am feeling better about my decision now....buyers remorse was to blame!

Thans guys !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[diamondseeker2006]

2.2 is thin and a great size! I wouldn''t go thinner than that for a 1 ct. I''m sure your SP setting will be gorgeous!