Safety in posting your pretties

[Amber St. Clare]

Can I ask you ladies a question? Are you ever afraid of your safety posting all your gorgeous things on the internet?

Two years ago I had a stalker. My city police were less than enthusiastic in helping me and my husband hired a PI. He found out who it was and I took legal action. The PI told me bluntly that I should be extremely cagey about posting ANY personal info and discouraged me from posting pictures on the internet {I am really computer stupid and don't really post much of anything}. It has made me re think just about anything I post. Anyone ever think twice or am I just paranoid?

thanks

 

[JewelFreak]

Re: Safety i posting your pretties

What a nightmare for you! It's horrifying the police weren't any help -- great of your husband to come up with a PI. Hope it's solved for good now!

This is the only place I post any photos. And nothing that will betray who I am or where I live. I'm not on Facebook precisely because all the info there gives me the willies -- plus what I read about how Facebook itself collects people's info.

Now that I'm thoroughly addicted to seeing everybody's beautiful bling here, I'd have real withdrawal without it. I can certainly understand why you feel creeped out about it, though. Everybody has to do what makes them comfortable.

--- Laurie

 

[MichelleCarmen]

You're not paranoid. Everyone has their own personal level of comfort and it's best to work with what makes you feel most comfortable and to use your intuition. It does confuse me a bit when people I know (locally) post on FB that they're going on vacation, have flashy cars, jewelry, & go all out on everything and don't seem concerned about what kind of message they may be sending. It makes sense when you think of the types of people who have millions, yet drive 10 year old cars because those are the people who are less likely to attract the wrong attention.

 

[rosetta]

I feel ok, as I'd never post my face or any personal info. My pretties also live in a bank vault so they would be hard to steal. A lot of my Facebook info is false too!

 

[diamondseeker2006]

I think as long as personal information is not posted, then it is fine to post pictures.(Although I do not post pictures of myself.) I don't see any way to know who another person is unless we connect outside of PS, and in that case, I am generally connecting with people I know and have been here a long time. But one time someone here that I was helping was able to identify my name and address because I accidentally used our home email with our full names on it, and it kind of freaked me out. I do not mind if long time members that I trust have my info, but I am hesitant about revealing too much to people I don't know. I figure there are a lot of people with more bling than I have, so I don't feel too worried about it.

On FB, I never post about jewelry or other material things and never, ever indicate when I am out of town. It is just mainly an avenue to keep up with old friends, see pics of children, etc. I do have my settings pretty secure. I am more wary of FB than here, actually.

 

[chrono]

Not if you are careful about keeping certain information totally private. I never share my real name, address, real email, face, or other personal data. I am even loath to say what state I live in. I am on FB but never talk or post gems there. Even then, I set my privacy level to the max and only share pictures privately.

 

[Dancing Fire]

For the record...all the jewelry I posted on PS are FAKES

 

[monarch64]

A lot of my jewelry is in a location that doesn't involve a home, safe, safe deposit box, etc. I don't need access to everything I've collected over the years, but I also didn't want to sell many pieces just because they went out of style for a quick buck when gold went up. What's great about jewelry is that it's small and easy to spread out and hide.

I've posted a lot of personal information on this site and FB, which would make it very easy for someone with no life and all kinds of time to find me. So, while they might find ME, they will NOT find my "pretties." I've only posted pics of a few things over the years, never my whole collection. I pity the fool (thank you, Mr. T.) who might even TRY to get at my stuff. *needs a fist-waving-emotie-that-says-come-at-me-bro*

 

[Dancing Fire]

In this high tech era of ours if someone wanna find you they'll find ya.No matter if you hide under your bed or not.

 

[perry]

Amber:

As another person who was stalked once by a person who wanted to kill me (and he even made the attempt once - which by the grace of god was accidentally broken up by a cop who by "random chance - or was it guidance from above" found themselves unexpectedly in the middle of a situation they did not understand - and thus made mistakes such that he could not be charged: I am not blaming the cop - they did their job to the best of their ability when caught by surprise; and I lived through the attempt); and the stalking went on for about 3 years after that (I lived an unusual life in those days to prevent a gunfight). Note that this was before many of the modern laws allowing police and the courts to take what are now common actions in cases like these.

Yes, very disturbing - and it does change how you approach life after that; and you do have to balance what information you post. However, did the stalker find you via the internet - or did they know you from somewhere else (most likely the case). What is the risk, what is the probability of that risk occurring, and what is the composite "threat/concern score). At least that is the way I approach things.

I do agree that Facebook represents more of a potential threat than does PS. I do exist on Facebook - but with very limited information. It is primarily there for people who wish to find me and contact me. I do get contacts from PS from time to time on Facebook. I only "friend" a select few - although I do enjoy using messages to discuss things with others I have not friended.

I am glad you were able to identify the stalker - and know you will make the right decision for yourself.

Have a great day,

Perry

 

[Amber St. Clare]

Amber:

As another person who was stalked once by a person who wanted to kill me (and he even made the attempt once - which by the grace of god was accidentally broken up by a cop who by "random chance - or was it guidance from above" found themselves unexpectedly in the middle of a situation they did not understand - and thus made mistakes such that he could not be charged: I am not blaming the cop - they did their job to the best of their ability when caught by surprise; and I lived through the attempt); and the stalking went on for about 3 years after that (I lived an unusual life in those days to prevent a gunfight). Note that this was before many of the modern laws allowing police and the courts to take what are now common actions in cases like these.Yes, very disturbing - and it does change how you approach life after that; and you do have to balance what information you post. However, did the stalker find you via the internet - or did they know you from somewhere else (most likely the case). What is the risk, what is the probability of that risk occurring, and what is the composite "threat/concern score). At least that is the way I approach things.
I do agree that Facebook represents more of a potential threat than does PS. I do exist on Facebook - but with very limited information. It is primarily there for people who wish to find me and contact me. I do get contacts from PS from time to time on Facebook. I only "friend" a select few - although I do enjoy using messages to discuss things with others I have not friended.

I am glad you were able to identify the stalker - and know you will make the right decision for yourself.

Have a great day,

Perry

Wow Perry--how horrifying for you! It must have totally changed how you lived your most casual aspects of your life and your family. I'm glad you made it thru what must have been a terrifying ordeal.

It totally changed how we live. The husband immediately upgraded the security system we have. He makes it a habit to stay home whenever we have either a delivery or workers coming to the house. The guy said he became aware of me when I was having breakfast with my BFF, I was giving out "aura" to him-even tho he kept calling me by one of the internet name I use- So I was a little freaked that he was able to track down my address and phone. No weapons were ever shown but I cannot tell you what it did to my sense of security. Facebook--forget about it. Not my thing. A cashier asks for my zip code or telephone number--I politely decline. I am SUPER AWARE of my surroundings when I am in a large parking lot, things like that. The disposition was a permanent RO and he ""agreed" to counseling. Boy, I sure feel safe.

 

[JaneSmith]

Amber, I'm so sorry you had to go through that. You too Perry. DS2006, that is indeed freaky.

As for the question, no, I'm not afraid for my safety because I've posted a few of my baubles on PS. I don't think they are worthy of the effort it would take to find me.
Granted, to a skilled computer whizz that effort would probably be minimal. Not because I've posted identifying information, but because I don't use a proxy server for all my surfing. I do have location services turned off on my phone, but I'm not sure if that really removes all identifiers from my personal pics. I could be more careful, but I think the likelihood of being tracked down because of PS is vanishingly smaller than a regular burglary or mugging.
I'm not on facebook, so no worries there.

 

[Circe]

"Stalker" is probably too strong a word, but I have an ex who's been acting kinda creepy for over a decade now. As a result, I have almost no online presence in my own name. I mean, I "have" a FaceBook, LinkdIn, etc. ... but there's a reason I'm on here so much. It's literally my alter-ego, because I'm scared of what might happen if I reveal too much about my real life under my real name. It sucks that I'm a professor, in that sense - information on where I will be on a regular basis is easily available, between classes and office hours - but at least I don't worry about provoking anything if I mention my family or our circumstances or whatever.

(I've had a few threads about this, I think. We broke up a decade ago, he e-mails every year despite my having categorically told him he was creeping my out around the five-year mark. I haven't responded since then, but the hits, they keep on coming. Last year, he mentioned he was now an undercover cop working in my area, emphasis on "You know I'm around and I have a gun." This year, he told me he had gotten married and just had a baby boy, which I found reassuring proof of his having moved on ... until my therapist said, "Gee, that really mirrors your life this year, huh. Sounds like a great way to inspire trust!" So, I continue feeling vaguely nervous.)

This being a forum about expensive things, I do take some precautions: I wouldn't post shots that made it clear where I live, or say exactly when I'm on vacation, or anything like that. I DO need to set up an alternate e-mail account for Pre-Loved, though: so far I've only been contacted by PSrs I've known for years, but it would be frighteningly easy for some smart crook to get people's addresses through a few cheap purchases on DB or LT and use that to gain access. Mostly everything lives in the safety deposit box, but, still.

Ugh. Bottom line: reasonable precautions, yes; cutting myself off from something I really enjoy, no.

 

[distracts]

I am not particularly worried... if I HAD a stalker, I would be, but I figure of all the people on the internet, what is the likelihood that I will be chosen to be stalked? Probably not super high.

I don't post pictures of myself here... which is causing a war inside of me because I WANT to post wedding pictures! I probably shouldn't be worried - I post my picture on the wedding forum I frequent without concern, but it is "normal" there to do - but since it's less usual for PS, it worries me!

I am far less concerned with stalking/tempting illegal actions than I am with employers finding and judging things. I usually try to keep screennames to dictionary words for that reason - even if they find out my screenname, it's a little harder to find me without knowing exactly where I go.

 

[Smith1942]

I share almost nothing on Facebook. My security/privacy settings are set to the max, and I basically drop in 2-3 times a month to check out friends' pictures of growing kids, holidays etc or to write the occasional post. I write nothing I wouldn't want a job interviewer or my grandma to read. My average session lasts less than two minutes. I don't understand how people get addicted to it. So I don't have Facebook security worries. I'm also very non-active on LinkedIn. I did have a Twitter account but deleted it for security reasons. I didn't like the way that anyone can just sign up to follow you and I was really getting nothing out of it anyway.

As regards PS, I chose a username that is incredibly common (Smith) and has nothing whatsoever to do with my real name. I also chose a date (1942) that has nothing to do with my real birthdate. Since I didn't know the PS owners or moderators, my PS email account is also a fake name, different once again from Smith1942. So no one behind the scenes - or anyone who hacks into the PS backoffice - could link my real name and location to the real me and my collection of pretties. I really don't see how anyone could find me in real life from PS. I've posted a couple of pics of myself but I don't make a habit of it. Again, you couldn't ID me from those.

I agree with the poster who said about not giving up things you enjoy. I love posting my pretties and taking part in varied discussions, and I'm certainly not going to let the world's nutters stop me. However, I do feel sorry for those who have experienced real stalking. I would definitely have a different perspective if I had been stalked, I think.

 

[PintoBean]

Ughhh...to those who have experienced stalking... No words, just hugs... And to protect you.

And if you've figured out who I am, my bling is paste or fakes from Claire's.

 

[partgypsy]

Well, I've had a couple instances. Worse instance my family being harrassed/stalked by someone we were friends with in HS. So, even if I had nothing on Facebook, web, etc it wouldn't have prevented this problem. Unless family decides to move (which they haven't) no changing him knowing where they live.
I have changed both my regular phone and cell phone numbers, and only gave new numbers to very small number of people, and the mysterious phone calls stopped. But I have no doubt anyone could figure out where I live, etc with minimal record searching, because things like house titles are public information.

With Facebook, I do post pictures of myself, my kids and family etc. I accept friends, and I believe I have the circle limited to friends of friends. So it is conceivable that a creeper could be looking at my pics by being a friend of a friend, but at some point you have to just live your life.

I do believe it is important to be aware of surrounding and not expose oneself to unnecessary danger, but also believe, if someone was truly intent on hurting you, they will find a way to do it. So I'm going to live my life.