Relocating

[zoebartlett]

Sorry this may be long winded...

For those of you who have relocated to a different area, how did you decide where to move to and how did you begin the process of job and/or house (or apt.) searching?

I''ve written about this before but not in a while. We''re *considering* moving, but to be honest, every time I think about actually leaving friends and family, I end up in tears. I don''t like the idea of leaving my job AT ALL, but we''re in a position where if we were going to move (even if it''s only for a year or two), now is a good time. Some of you know that my husband lost his job and since he''s going to look for a new job anyway, it may as well be some place that intrigues us. We both grew up in the state we live in and my husband has never lived anywhere else but our state. My parents are here and his whole family is here. Oddly enough though, I feel more tied to our state than he does, and change is hard for me. I got my current teaching job 4 years ago in a different area than where we were living when we met. He moved here to be with me, so I could pursue this opportunity. Now I kind of feel like I should do the same for him. My husband can''t see spending the rest of his life here, and he really wants to experience a different place. We can always decide to come back, but I''m having a harder time with this than he is.

The good news is that while certain districts may not always be hiring, the teaching profession is needed everywhere. My husband is a database developer and a data analyst, so I''m assuming he can find a job anywhere too.

So now here we are...

If you''ve relocated, at what point did you take time off from work to go check out a new place? What kind of leg work did you do before that point?

Thanks in advance for any thoughts and/or advice you may have.

 

[Elegant]

Well, I had been fed up with my principal and had been looking for admin jobs with no luck. My BF hated his job and it was actually giving him HIGH blood pressure, so he decided to look for another job.

My BF found a job 6 hours away and accepted the position. That was in February.

I waited until school was over - I am a teacher - and moved up to where he was and spent the summer applying endlessly for teaching and admin jobs. I applied and interviewed (I was applying for jobs where I lived because I wanted to get out of my district, but I never even got past paper screening) and three weeks before the school year started, I interviewed and got a job here.

After it was official, we spent months driving 800 miles a weekend going back to our old house, packing our stuff (we had already begun packing but since it was official, we worked on the major overhaul). So while I was trying to prepare and adjust to a new teaching job (I now teach 30 exceptionally gifted children - not the easiest job in the world), I was having to spend my time packing and moving.

I do not know ANYONE here - it was so hard at the beginning. I hated my job (which really love now), etc. and was sad for a good month. Then as I started adjusting to the area, getting used to the new school culture, coworkers, principal, office staff, etc., I am feeling much better about the move. When we had to put our 19 year old Beagle to sleep, I hated living here all over again. Then another month passed by and I am once again happy we are here.

I heard that it is VERY difficult to get a teaching job in the district that I am in right now, and that they usually do not hire outsiders I was interviewing and getting lots of compliments, but later discovered that people within the district, even substitute teachers, were getting hired over me because I was an outsider. I interviewed and got the job over 20+ people who were interviewed.

You can always visit your family or vice versa. I am close to my family, but need to think about being happy with my career - since that is where I spend the majority of my days... and money, etc. My family wasn't happy, but since I am semi-young and just beginning my life and securing my career, I need to make sure that I am happy with my life - I am not living my life for anyone but myself.

I can totally understand what you are gong through though... it isn't for the weak, that's for sure. I think it makes you stronger as a person and tests your limits - because think about it - you won't know anyone there and the only person you will know is your husband. It gets lonely - lots of phone calls home and to my friends, etc.

I hope this helps.

 

[Sabine]

Zoe, I know I''ve posted about this before, but when we first moved here I was looking for full-time teaching jobs. Of course, this was right after college graduation, and I had started looking up school district websites in March. By the time I had all my paperwork finished, I had been stalking school websites and then I applied for a bunch of jobs. I didn''t get a single interview. Of course, with my dh starting school, we didn''t exactly have a choice of relocating, so when we got here, I went to see some places in person, and then when I still didn''t get any interviews, I resigned myself to subbing.

I worked for a full year as a day to day sub at 5 different districts. Halfway through the year I was offered a position as a long term sub that would turn into full time the following year (the current teacher was fired), but I turned it down. I ended up taking a position at another one of the schools I subbed at. There was only one school district that I felt like I didn''t really get to know the administration as a sub. Even though the money as a sub stunk, I can''t imagine ever taking a full-time teaching job without getting to know the district first, and for me, subbing was the best way to do that. Since dh and I are going to be a bit transient for the next few years, I''m hoping to be able to sub wherever we go (as long as we can afford to, that is) because I really LOVED the flexibility of it.

 

[zoebartlett]

I hope my first post made sense -- I tend to ramble and I''m now wondering if I explained things in a way that made sense.

Hi Elegant! It''s interesting that you mentioned interviewing as an outsider. When I interivewed for my current position, it was in the same school district that I grew up in, the one in which my mom works as well (and where my parents still live). I think one thing that helped me was knowing the town so well. It''s a pretty competitive district, and I was actually surprised when I got the job. I''ve been on interivew committees, and it does help to hire those who know the area and the community. That''s one thing I''m afraid of though. We''d basically be starting from scratch, with potentially no ties to the areas we''re considering. Plus, I just made tenure last year, and starting over in another place would put me back at square one again. I''m terrified at starting over. As far as getting to know a new place, that part is what excites me. I love meeting new people and seeing new places, but I get scared wondering how I''ll feel starting over with so many new things to deal with. I want to move to somewhere with a sense of community, and one where it''s easy to meet others. My worst fear is that I''ll hate my job and/or the area, and I won''t be able to connect with people. I''m more of a people person than my husband, and I feel like it would be up to me to make connections with others. Your thoughts have helped a lot -- thank you!!

Hi Sabine! I''ve read posts before from you where you''ve mentioned this, and I know you''re looking at changing cities as well. Subbing would be a good way to get to know different schools and districts. I''m not sure that we''d be able to swing that though. It would obviously depend on what my husband would end up making. Thanks for the suggestion! It''s one I''ll keep in mind.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Well I haven''t moved in awhile. DH and I both grew up and went to college in the midwest. We really do love the midwest but we HATE the weather. I really think it effected our quality of life and mood. I know there are LOTS of winter lovers out there but not us. Anyways...DH had a friend in NC and said when he visited him (once!) it seemed nice. I was like "okay." I had never even BEEN to the south let alone NC before we came driving in the U-Haul. We moved around a lot growing up so I am always up for the adventure. Plus we agreed we would give it a year. If we didn''t like it we would move. His friend told us what part of town to look for an apartment. I did everything online/fax. Looked at floor plans/pictures/faxed the lease.

Obviously this was when we were just starting out so careers were not really an issue then. I remember you saying you hated where you live and your DH was okay with moving. IMHO life is short! Be happy. Move where you think that will happen. Good luck Zoe

 

[akw94]

Hi Zoe,
I''ll be honest with you, moving away from family and friends, with no job, is hard! But that doesn''t mean it''s not worth it. I recently moved and b/c I practiced law and decided I didn''t want to do that after moving, finding a job while in my previous state was virtually impossible. My husband was able to transfer to where we move now but as a lawyer, I would need to take the bar and didn''t want to. I applied for some things while still away but got no real responses. Since I''m thinking about working in education, I decided to Sub. once here. I''ve done that but even that is tough. Most schools call the sub.''s they know first. I''ve had to go see various schools, keep calling, talk to the Principals, keep calling the schools and reminding them that I''m available, etc..., it''s a pain! Since I''m not a certified teacher, I''m limited to mainly private schools for full time work. Being someone who is used to working, not working is a huge change. I''ve been thinking more about opening up a part-time business to help keep me busy, bring in some money and not drive myself crazy.

But that just covers working. There''s also the issue of missing your family and friends. Much of my family and friends were where I used to live. I do miss them, a lot. But I know that moving was the right choice for my immediate family. Some days are better than others and I try to keep in touch by phone and email and trying to keep myself busy. I''ve gotten more involved in my son''s school. That''s helped b/c I''ve met other people and feel included in something. I know some of the teachers and staff at the school where I sub. so that helps too. I''ve also made an effort to talk to others in neighborhood. Unlike you, I''m not a huge people person so that''s been hard for me. I know it''s important though so I make the effort.

As for how to begin to house hunt, we came here before moving and used that trip as a time to house hunt. We stayed about 2 wks and looked all over the place. Luckily, we found something on that trip. The realtor was great b/c he dealt w/families that were relocating so he had an idea of what we were looking for and was knowledgeable about different neighborhoods. We took the house hunting trip about a month before my husband was planning to move. I didn''t move until a few months later since my son was still in school. Before we took that trip, we looked online to get a feel for the areas, looked at websites to see homes that were on the market and spoke to a realtor.

I know how you feel about starting over. I''m starting over in a whole new career. I had many friends at my old job, had been there for awhile, knew what I was doing, felt confident there but not satisfied. That''s why I know this is worth the change. In some ways, I''m lucky b/c living where we did, we probably never could''ve afforded for me to stop working and switch careers. I would''ve been comfortable at my old job and in my old life but I wasn''t happy. Now, I''m not quite at the happy stage given my career issues but I''m open to change and excited about the new possibilities in my life.
You know, if you get a job there that you hate, you can always find another job. It may not be overnight but you can change. You always *will* connect with others. That takes time too though. I try to go day-by-day in life and that helps me. I can get overwhelmed with all the change and what I don''t have but I try hard to look at the positive, what my life does contain and what I might find in this new life.

I hope that helps!

 

[perry]

Zoe:

Yours is an interesting question; and one I know of.

So here are my thoughts and knowledge and I hope it helps.

1st) I have no idea what state you currently live in, but an old memory says either east or west cost...

Over the years there have been several articles in newspapers in the midwest (Wisconsin & Minnesota) that I know of where teachers are talking about how good the move was from either of the cost to a smaller school district in this area (not a major metropolitan area). How they felt they accomplished a lot more - and the parents cared a lot more too.

One of the things that these people have always mentioned was that they were initially concerned about the wage cut... only to find out that in the end they have more disposable income living in this region. For example, in my city - you can buy a real sold built 1950''s - 1960''s house 3 bedroom house - 1500 Sq ft + full sized basement and garage, and a yard - in good condition - for arround $110,000 (give or take $10,000). If you want something more modern it will cost more (perhaps $150,000).

It is not hard to locate in an area where you can drive to a major metropolitan area in 2 hours (and that''s like 100 - 150 miles away).

So, if you look - don''t just look at the wages offered - look at the cost of living in the area too.

Please be careful when researching taxes too. An example. I have lived most of my life in Wisconsin - and did spend a period of time in Iowa. Now if you look Wisconsin has "high" personal taxes and Iowa "low" personal taxes..... But, that is misleading. The best way to describe it is that once a year Wisconsin whacks you hard with a 4x4 along side of the head. You know you''ve been hit. But that is it. In Iowa, I had to pay about $150 per year for plates for the car (Wisconsin $18 back then), I had to buy this and that permit. I even had to register and annuallly license my canoe. I could buy an out of state Wisconsin fishing license cheaper than I could buy an instate Iowa fishing license.... and the list went on and on. When all was said and done (and I kept track of this)... I was paying more in Iowa state taxes, fees, and local fees that I paid in Wisconsin. Iowa just blead you throught the year on lots of things; but they have lower state income taxes.

Note that the reverse applies too: When I was long term unemployed I was offered positions in both major california and NY cities with a promise of in one case a $100,000 per year salarie (a decade ago) that I turned down due to the local cost of living. The other offer promised a six figure income, to which I replied OK as long as the 1st diget wasn''t a "1" (San Fransisco is an expensive area to live: and I didn''t figure I needed to spend $1/3 million to buy a condo 1/3 the size of my current house - with no yard as my freinds in the SF area did at the time).

If you are looking for a teaching job; contact the schools in the area ahead of time and find out what they are looking for.

2nd) Another thing to consider - and things I have considered: Local situations that may be specifically appealing: Washington State and Florida have no income tax. Oregon has no Sales Tax. A lot of people live on the border of Washington State - and do their shopping across the bridge in Oregon.

3) Climate, and geography. I''m a cold climate person (and have a lower than normal body temperature too). I have done extensive scouting of places to live in the nation. I would not do well in the souther parts of the country. I like 4 seasons, and I really like that the cold winters kill off all the bugs (and becasue I have pollen allergies - kill all the pollen). I am also attracted to at least reasonably hilly country - and could easily live in the mountains. Of course, you may be just the oposite. Figure it out - and spend some time in the library looking at those big map books that show terrain and geography.

4) Regional culture. People in general act differently in the NE (especially the cities), to the SE, to the SW, to the NW, and in the middle. There can be completely different approaches to life. Where do you "naturally" fit in. Where could you fit in, and most importantly - where would you have difficulties fitting in.


I wish you best in your search. A properely researched area will bring you and your family many rewards. You will make new freinds where ever you go. But, you can also chose an area that will be an adventure as well - that will expose you or allow you to do things you would like to do but cannot where you currently live.

Hope this helps,

Perry

 

[neatfreak]

You know what''s funny? When I''ve relocated I have literally just decided one day that I was ready, this is where I was going, and started making gung ho arrangements! But I''ve always been moving for something (school mostly) so it wasn''t as much of a blank slate...but I just look at it as a new adventure I guess.

 

[zoebartlett]

Thanks for chiming in Tacori!

As you know, we''re considering relocating to NC. We''ve only looked at maps and gotten an idea of how much houses run in the areas we''re thinking about. We''d most likely rent first though. We love the mountains, but we''d love to be closer to water, as I mentioned before. My dad told us that the eastern part of the state is swampy and there''s not much to do. Is that right? If so, we''re not THAT interested in the water.

We''ve looked online at Greenville and Wilmington, and we''re going to look at Raleigh and Charlotte as well. Chapel Hill, Winston-Salem, and Greensboro sound nice too. So yeah, we haven''t narrowed anything down, really.

Good school districts (preferably smaller schools) are a must though.

Being from New England, we''re so used to the cold, but when it''s anywhere from -3 to 27 degrees, and taking into account the wind chill, it''s just miserable here at times. I''d love to try some place with a more even climate. That''s why we chose to look at NC.

I can''t say I *hate* it here...it''s where I grew up and many of the towns around us are very quaint, typcial New England villages. The town we live in now though (about 20 minutes from my hometown -- one of those quaint towns) doesn''t have much character. Zoning is weird. Maybe I notice it more because we''re in a condo complex and not in a strictly residential area.

Thank you so much for replying! I REALLY appreciate your insight.

For what it''s worth, we''d also consider Oregon, speciaifically, the Portland area. My sister and BIL live there, so that''s a huge plus. It''s ust SO FAR from friends and my husband''s family though. My parents are here now, but if we moved to OR, they''d move as soon as my mom retires.

 

[zoebartlett]

Dixie, thanks so much for taking the time to reply in such detail!

I can imagine how hard it was for you. Leaving the security of a full time job and beginning over again is scary. The only experience I have with that is when I stopped working in publishing 8 years ago and enrolled in a master''s program full time. That was a scary time, not knowing how I''d make it financially, but living off student loans helped a great deal. Paying them off now isn''t fun but it WAS totally worth it.

About friends and family...my extended family is all over the US, so that''s good I suppose. We wouldn''t have connections in NC, but I have family in the south. As far as friends go, they''re pretty spread throughout New England. We don''t have a ton of friends in this area, but we have a few that we hang out with and see occasionally.

Admittedly, I can be set in my ways when it comes to new things at times. I love the IDEA of picking up and moving, but it''s just the logistics of it all and then the reality of what it would mean that stops me from just going for it. I WISH I weren''t that way. Sigh.

Thank you so much, again! I love the last few sentences you wrote. That really makes sense and it''s something to keep in mind.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Zoe, let me know if you come to visit. We have quite a few NC PSers on here. One of the things I LOVE about NC is there still are seasons. I love watching the leaves change but love the mild winters. It was mid 50s today and VERY sunny. I didn''t even wear a jacket b/c the sun heats you up. It is nice not living in the midwest with a baby. I am not looking forward to x-mas in Ohio b/c snow, ice, slush, cold, etc...not fun with a baby. Putting on her jacket is SUCH a PITA! Luckily this will be the last x-mas in Ohio so maybe knowing that it won''t be too bad

I would rent for SURE no matter where you move. That way you can take your time and learn the city and where you want to live.

Charlotte is a very young city. I hear, haha, and slightly remember the good nightlife we have. We have great shopping, restaurants, some pro sports team, and great neighborhoods. We are 3-3.5 hours from the ocean. We went to vacay close to Wilmington (took 5 hours b/c there is no good highway to get there) and it was a lot of fun. We were in a resort town so don''t know about what it is live LIVING there. We have friends that love the triangle area. I would take a week and drive around the state. You will know what is right for you!

 

[zoebartlett]

Perry -- thank you, as well, for such a detailed reply!

1. I live near MA. We don''t have state income or sales tax but property taxes can be pretty high. I have to admit, I LOVE not having to pay income or sales tax. We''re in a condo now, so our property taxes aren''t too high. If we moved to the town where my parents live (my hometown), our taxes would sky rocket. Doesn''t it kind of all even out in the end though? Pay less (or in my case, nothing) in sales or income tax, but pay more in property tax and vice versa...they get ya one way or another!

I agree, the cost of living should be a huge consideration. If I end up getting a teaching job for less than I make now (I''m not sure that''s possible!

), things could even out if the COL is lower. Same goes for my husband. Obviously we''d like to go UP in salary, but COL is something we''ll keep in mind.


2. Yeah, the no sales or income tax thing appeals to me, as I mentioned above.

3. Climate: we''re used to cold, cold weather (snow and ice storms) and slippery road conditions. We love snow days when we have them, but then we hate to make them up in June. The summers haven''t been too bad, but we''ve had everything from mild summer weather where it rains a lot, to hot and humid weather where it''s just oppressive. We''d love to move somewhere a little more even. That''s partly where Portland, OR and NC come to mind. The constant gloomy days in OR might bug me though. I need sun.

Geography: we have everything here -- mountains, lakes, and the ocean. We have hilly areas and flat areas (well, sort of flat areas). If I had to choose one or the other - water or mountains, it would be water. That might just be because in my state, if you live in the mountains, you live in the middle of nowhere, and we definitely don''t want that. It''s beautiful but not for us. We also need to have things to do -- good culture, shopping, food, etc.

4.. Culture: we can adapt. Being from New England, I''m used to people glancing at me and then quickly looking down. It''s nothing personal.

We''d love a friendly, welcoming environment though. I''m not sure where we''d have difficulty fitting in, but of course, the more friendly and open people are, the easier it could be to adjust.

Thank you so much for your help and in getting me to think about all of this. I feel like I''ve just written a novel, but it''s helping.

The other thing that helps is to know that you can do anything for a year or two. You can always move back if needed. My husband has already agreed to try it out for one year and then reassess where we are and what we both want. The fact that we don''t have kids yet also is in our favor. We can be more mobile.

 

[zoebartlett]

Hi Neatfreak!

Since you''re from New England too, I know you can relate to leaving it for somewhere new. I''m not from MA, but I don''t see a huge difference in our states. What made you leave?

 

[zoebartlett]

Tacori -- I will definitely let you know if we decide to come for a visit. I know MMM did and then she ended up moving down there (right?). I know DS and Tropic Master (and soon to be Mrs. TM) live there also.

I have to say, you make a very good argument for NC! You sure know how to sell your state to someone!

I''d give anything to ome down for a week or two right now and check out all sorts of areas of NC. If I wasn''t working, I''d be on a plane tomorrow. We have plans for Feb. school vacation week but not for April''s vacation week. Hmmm....

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 11/23/2008 5:27:22 PM
Author: ZoeBartlett
Hi Neatfreak!


Since you''re from New England too, I know you can relate to leaving it for somewhere new. I''m not from MA, but I don''t see a huge difference in our states. What made you leave?

Mostly for a new adventure but also for graduate school (although I had offers in New England too, so I didn''t need to leave). And I am a firm believer in not knowing where "home" really is until you''ve lived elsewhere ya know?

That being said my DH and I will be moving again probably next year sometime (depends on when we are done with our degrees) and would love to move back to New England. I really love it there and I can know that definitively since I have given other places a chance, which I think is the biggest advantage to moving around a bit. Coincidently Portland and the research triangle in NC are also other places we are interested in too, but New England has my family and I am very close to them, so there is a stronger pull there for me. My DH''s family is from So Cal and we both really dislike it there so luckily we didn''t have to fight over it.

 

[Tacori E-ring]

It will be very nice weather in April. I am only speaking of my limited experience with NC. But we will be here forever. I love that Atlanta, Charleston, Savannah, Asheville, etc...are so close (3-4 hours depending). In the midwest you drive 4 hours and you are in the same state. I love the low cost of living (even compared to the midwest houses are cheaper). I don't know much about my local school system but I am sure there are websites that can fill you in. I drive by tons of schools that's for sure!

Princesss also lives by me. She probably knows more about the social scene than I do! I know MMM had a thread about her move...I think Dani started it. She lives pretty close to me as well.

 

[sparkly_stars]

We moved 2 August''s ago..it was a very quick decision- and off we went!
It was much easier then we anticipated...once I got the ok from Dan, he started applying for jobs (he had just finished his course and the market for his line of work was not huge back home)- he got some offers and we decided we''d pick up and go...and once we got there we''d figure it out. I had a very cushy job but figured I was young with very little attachments..we sold as much stuff as we could, saved as much as we could (it was all decided within a month) and packed up the car- my best friend decided he''d want to move to- so he took his car as well!
Through work, we "knew" someone that would let us stay with them for a month or so until we were settled for cheaper rent (no damage deposits which was what would have killed us). Dan found a job really quickly, while I took my time to get the right one-
we picked a city that had a HUGE demand for work (Calgary), and I picked this place because it was the closest city to the mountains which I had fallen in love with several years before.
The boys weren''t fussy where we went so it was ultimately up to me.

 

[zoebartlett]

Ooh, that''s right...I forgot to mention that Princesss lives in NC too. Maybe she''ll see this and chime in.

Sparkly -- what a fun adventure it would be to just pack up and go. Now that you''re settled in, how do you like Calgary?

 

[perry]

Date: 11/23/2008 5:23:11 PM
Author: ZoeBartlett
Perry -- thank you, as well, for such a detailed reply!


I agree, the cost of living should be a huge consideration.

Obviously we''d like to go UP in salary, but COL is something we''ll keep in mind.


Yeah, the no sales or income tax thing appeals to me, as I mentioned above.

Climate: we''re used to cold, cold weather (snow and ice storms) and slippery road conditions. We love snow days when we have them, but then we hate to make them up in June. The summers haven''t been too bad, but we''ve had everything from mild summer weather where it rains a lot, to hot and humid weather where it''s just oppressive. We''d love to move somewhere a little more even. That''s partly where Portland, OR and NC come to mind. The constant gloomy days in OR might bug me though. I need sun.

Culture: we can adapt. Being from New England, I''m used to people glancing at me and then quickly looking down. It''s nothing personal.

We''d love a friendly, welcoming environment though. I''m not sure where we''d have difficulty fitting in, but of course, the more friendly and open people are, the easier it could be to adjust.

Thank you so much for your help and in getting me to think about all of this. I feel like I''ve just written a novel, but it''s helping.

Not a problem:

Actually Cost of Living is the key. Keep in mind incremental income taxes too.... I''ve known several people who moved to California and New York on the promise of "big" money.... only to find out how much more federal and state income taxes are.

The real key is that you are focusing on how much disposable income you have - after reasonable food shelter clothing etc.

Maximize your disposable income - then put 15% aside in long term savings (retirement).

You might wish to look at the Vancover Washington area (this is a mid sized city). You would live in a state with no income tax, and could drive across the river to shop in Portland Oregon where there is no sales tax. Decent air service at the airport too. Cost of living is a bit higher than the midwest - but not nearly as bad as the pricier places in the nation. It does cloud over for a couple of months each winter - but the rest of the year is mostly sunshine. The pacific Ocean is 1/2 - 3/4 hour away. Mountains are relatively in your backyard as well. The pacific northwest is a very buitiful area of the country.

Except for my pollen allergies.... I probably would have relocated out there about 8 years ago.

NC - Virginia is also nice. The Appalacian mountains extend into Ohio and Tennessee as well (there is a region here).

Perry

 

[Haven]

Zoe--I''ve never relocated, but three dear friends of mine have and they have all really loved it. I have to say that all three of them did it the way Neat did, they just decided they were leaving one day, made a ton of plans, and disappeared down the road shortly thereafter in a cloud of dust.

Those teacher job fairs are really the most horrendous things ever, BUT, I''ve known more than a few teachers who got out-of-state job offers on the spot at those fairs. Just something to think about once you choose a destination.

If Chicago ends up being on your short list (though it doesn''t sound promising, our weather is oppressive), let me know. I know a lot of educators, and DH and I own a couple condos in the city!

Teachers get paid fairly well here, too. There''s even an entire website dedicated to trying to crush down teacher salaries in the state of Illinois, it''s just lovely. They publish all of our salaries about two years late, if you ever find yourself interested in the area. The salaries are actually a bit off, though, mine is about 8K short but I''m not telling them that.

DH and I considered relocating to Denver a while back because he would have a built-in clientele for his business, and the lifestyle is better suited to our values, but we decided against it because our families both live in Chicago and the near suburbs.

Good luck! It could be a great adventure!

 

[basil]

Hey Zoe!

Do it. That''s about the gist of what I have to say.

The longer version is this...I grew up in southeastern New England...went to college there then lived in Boston for a year. Then back to RI for grad school. In short, I lived 26 years within an hour of where I grew up.

So I moved away...at the time I thought it was a huge mistake. I ended up leaving my husband (then boyfriend) behind, moving to the midwest and knowing no one. The first few months were really really hard. But I figured out how to spend my time and how to get along by myself without my security system. It took me about a year to develop my network of friends...I''m shy and not very outgoing, so it was tough for me. But it happened. Now, 2.5 years later, I''m fortunate to have fun people to hang out with pretty much anytime I want.

My husband will move here in 7 1/3 months, and we''ll be here another year after that. I can''t wait to explore this area even more fully with him and introduce him to all the cool people I''ve met. Hopefully after that, we''ll move back "home" - nearer to immediate and extended family. But we''ll do this after knowing the alternative, after realizing the confidence to get by on our own, and after fully experiencing this area.

Though I wouldn''t have been able to tell you at the time, these experiences are invaluable. I sort of believe in "you don''t know what you have until you''ve lost it", but I think it definitely applies in this situation. I took a lot of things for granted before I moved (i.e. linguica!), but I''ve met people and learned things that I wouldn''t trade for anything.

 

[sparkly_stars]

Date: 11/23/2008 7:48:31 PM
Author: ZoeBartlett
Ooh, that''s right...I forgot to mention that Princesss lives in NC too. Maybe she''ll see this and chime in.


Sparkly -- what a fun adventure it would be to just pack up and go. Now that you''re settled in, how do you like Calgary?

Oh we''re happy now! well we have been since we moved...really I love the mountains a lot- and to top it off, he proposed there (I had the love first)- its always weird not to have your friends (mine were all from my good job, and from school/university) so that was a huge comfort we were losing.
But, I asked myself- why not? and really...why not! We''re young and we can always move back if it sucks right. I think its nice to be a bit carefree...so no regrets and we''ll return to be with family when we start our own family I think!
Calgary is beautiful, and filled with work- so we''re okay here...! hehe But as a side note, we all came with nothing lined up- and we are here...a year later still in one piece!

 

[zoebartlett]

Oh good, Sparkly, I''m glad you''re happy now!

It''s such a hard decision to make. We don''t have kids yet, but that''s in our future plans. Since both sets of parents (and the rest of my husband''s family) are here, it makes sense to stay. But if we moved to Oregon (one of the places we''re considering, besides NC), I know my parents would most likely move when my mom retires. Then my immediate family would all be together again, since my sister and BIL live in Portland. That''s a plus.

There''s lots to think about, and I''m not sure what we''ll do. We''re still gathering lots of info on both places.

If anyone has any experience relocating to OR or NC, I''d love to hear about it. I know Ladypirate just moved to OR.

Thanks again, everyone, for your thoughts and advice! I really appreciate it, and I''d be interested to read others'' opinions also.

 

[gwendolyn]

The top priority was the job market. We didn''t originally want to move to London (neither of us are city people) but it''s where the jobs are. I spent months applying and interviewing for jobs until I got an offer; they we began shopping for an apartment and J for his own job.

We hope to move again relatively soon, probably in a year and a half (when the 2009/2010 school year is over), where we can be somewhat closer to his family (2 hours away rather than 4 or 5 hours) and where we can live closer to the country. We couldn''t afford to figure quality of life into our estimates this time around, but hopefully next time we''ll be able to.

My personal opinion is that it''s healthy to live away from friends and family for a while simply because you can learn more about yourself and appreciate them more when they''re not always readily available. I''m not sure if living in another country from my family and most of my friends will be something I do forever or not, but although I miss them, I wouldn''t change my choices.

 

[zoebartlett]

So Gwen,

Do you have plans to move back to the US anytime, or is it up in the air? I always enjoy reading your posts by the way. I love hearing about your life in England and what it''s taken for you and J. to be together.

 

[LtlFirecracker]

I have moved many times and will be moving again in a year. Here are some things I consider.

The job, will it be some place I will be happy (so far finding one has not been an issue, as I am still in training).

The weather, I like warm weather places

As someone said, the regional culture. I know that there are certian places I avoid because....how do I say it, the values people have are different than mine...also, I am a city girl, so I always look for places with a city near by.

Cost of living is a factor, but being that I am used to California, and love it, I deal with high cost of living. If you want big house in a nice area, you should really factor that in.

Once I know where I am going, I start planning months in advance. The first thing to do is find someone who lives there and find out the different areas of town and the pros and cons. Than if possible, plan a trip out there and get a feel for the place. Figure out what areas you like and what areas you don''t, than do the house hunt. If you are buying, get a pre-approval for a loan ahead of time so you know what you can afford (house buying is a whole nother thread). If you are renting, use as many listings as possible to find the best variety of places (e.g. an MLS with rentals and craig list). I came up for 4 days to find a place, and was able to do it. If you are renting, you want to come about 1 month in advance. If you are buying I would say about 6 weeks to 2 months in advance if you are able to make a decision fast once you see the place. I did most of my search on the internet, that made my actuall trip out very quick.

Once I have a place, I look at the stuff I have. If the place is bigger, I figure out what I need to do to fill it in. If it is smaller, I get rid of some stuff. This is a great time to do a big cleaning. You could sell or give away anything you don''t want/need. Than you have to decide how you are going to move your stuff. Are you going to to it yourself or hire someoene. There are pros and cons to both.

Than there are all the utilities. You have to shut everything down in the old place and start everything up in the new. It takes a few days, but it can take some time. Also, don''t forget to foward your mail, and start the process of changing your address with anyone important.

Moving is considered one of the most stressful events in life. But if it is too a better place, I think it is worth it. So I guess my advice is to learn as much about the place you want to move in advance.

 

[deegee]

Hubby and I moved to a new state for his job. I was in my 5th year teaching, but was very unhappy with my job. Hubby is a chemical engineer, and had lost his job due to the company getting rid of all their engineers. He had job offers different cities/states, so we picked the three most promising offers and did our research on the city. We went to each city for a few days to check everything out and talk to the potential employer. We did a lot of driving on back roads and side streets and met with realtors.

We ended up relocating about 2 hours away from family. It was really hard at first because my entire family lives where we used to. I miss out on a lot (I have lots of little nieces and nephews), but we''re only 2 hours away and can get home pretty fast in case of an emergency. We go home to visit quite often. Being fairly close to family was a major factor in our decision.

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 11/24/2008 5:03:56 PM
Author: ZoeBartlett
So Gwen,


Do you have plans to move back to the US anytime, or is it up in the air? I always enjoy reading your posts by the way. I love hearing about your life in England and what it''s taken for you and J. to be together.

Hehe, aww thanks, sweetie! As for your question, I wish I knew. Right now the plan is to live here in London (well, technically *just* outside) for now, and the summer after next, move somewhere--either up north in England, or back to the US if I''m terribly homesick. J claims that he''d be able to adjust to living in another country easier than me because he''s not so emotional and attached to people and things like I am, but I''m not so sure.

It is a really difficult decision to make. I think, unless you want to have kids right away, I''d suggest moving somewhere farther from family for the experience (assuming there''s somewhere you love that''s worth it to you!) because it''s easier to move if it''s just the two of you. Then you''d also get a feel for how comfortable you are living away from your family, and since that would only be intensified (probably, just guessing here

) once you have children, you could then move back close to family once kids were in the works.

Maybe involves more moving than you''d like, but I think that way there''s less chance of having one of those, "woulda, shoulda, coulda" moments later on in life.