Q for members with childrens.

[Dancing Fire]

Did you feel like you were too young or too old when your first child was born? How old were you? and your husband?

My wife was 26 and I was almost 28 when our first daughter was born.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Two months before I turned 27 and he was 27. I thought it was a perfect age as we had been married for 5 years.

 

[monarch64]

I was 35 when I had our first. I am better suited to being an older parent. I would've had NO idea how to raise a child when I was in my 20s. Or, I would've been resentful at having to figure it out. That's just me, though. I don't think there's a right or wrong age to start a family.

 

[Ally T]

I was 34 & husband 35 when our first was born, and I was 36 when when the second was born. It was a perfect age for me as I was always fiercely independent, good job, loved to travel & even up-sticked one time to spend 2.5 years in New Zealand. By the time I married at 33 I felt ready to give up my career & luxury holidays for babies.

 

[LLJsmom]

I had just turned 31 and my husband was almost 32 when my son was born. My daughter was born 2 years and 8 months later. I think that was a good time in our lives for us. We had been married since I was 25, so I did at least have those years with just my wonderful DH.

 

[AprilBaby]

I was 23, he was 26. Perfect for us, lots of energy and at 52 I was an empty nest. Four colleges paid for and now play time!

 

[Dreamer_D]

I was 31 with no. 1 and 33 with no. 2.

I certainly would not want to have been younger! My schooling was a long process and it was better to have kids when I had secured a job. Also, I like that my husband and I had 5 years together before our first son was born.

I do often wish we had waited two more years to have kids though. It would have made a huge difference financially to have two good years at good incomes before the high expenses of daycare kicked in. We could have travelled a little, and saved a lot, in that time.

But overall, I am satisfied. We are almost out of the "under five" phase --a.k.a. super difficult period for marriage and personal space or time -- and still relatively young. Also, I was under 35 with both kids so I did not have to face any of the "advanced maternal age" worries and medical interventions in my pregnancies or labours.

 

[CrisM]

I was 38 and my husband 52. Our son is 3 now and fortunately we are energetic people. Speaking for myself, I never wanted children though my husband always has. We weren't together long when we decided to get married and go for it. Hubby didn't necessarily want It in that order but I wanted more time. If the first two years weren't as much work, if our home and car didn't need to be bigger and the finances required more, we would go for another. But we value our lives as they are, it's easier to travel and for the reasons already listed, we are keeping it "one and done". We do some sometimes have what we call "a number two day" when we feel the pang for another. But....we started late and these are the choices we made that are realistic for us. Life is what you make it...

 

[Dancing Fire]

I was 23, he was 26. Perfect for us, lots of energy and at 52 I was an empty nest. Four colleges paid for and now play time!

Good for you April!... looking back now I wish that we had our kids a few years earlier too.

 

[ruby59]

I had my first when I was 25. I had my 2nd and 3rd 18 months apart, starting at age 32. My husband is 4 years older than me.

I was married at 22, and we wanted to start a family right away. Actually got pregnant for the first time at 23 but miscarried.

I was much wiser and calmer with my 2nd and 3rd, but had much more energy with the 1st. So I guess it is a tradeoff.

 

[SB621]

I was 27 with #1 and 28 with #2. We had been together for 9 years and married for 3.5 years. My only regret is I wish I could have spaced my kids out a bit further but I wanted to be done with having children by 30 years old and we knew my DH would be home for 3 years with this assignment (aka meaning he would be home for my pregnancy, labor and at least the first 1-2 years of life).

 

[katharath]

We were young to get married but not super young to be parents. When our first son was born I was 24, DH was 27. Second son born when I was 27 and DH was 30. We've been married 14 years now but were married almost 5 years before our first was born (I was only 19 when we married, DH was 22). DH is turning 37 in a few weeks and I'll be 34 soon as well, and I'm personally VERY glad that we are out of the super early stages of parenthood (we are definitely stopping at just the two boys, they are 9 and 6 now. I shudder at the thought of all-nighters with a newborn at this point, lol...)

It was a good timetable for us, but not one I would recommend for everyone - I'm very aware of how high the divorce rate is for people who marry young. DH and I have known each other for 20 years though (we have a long back story, our situation was a bit different than others I've seen. For example, my younger brother also married at age 19, but he was divorced less than a year later )

For most people I wouldn't recommend marriage so young - although for myself and DH it has all worked out very well so far. We chose to wait almost 5 yrs after marriage to have kids bc we wanted those years alone together, and also bc we needed the time to buy a home, get stable enough for children financially, get good health insurance, etc etc - the things we believed we should have before deciding to bring children into the mix . I think having kids when we did was a good choice for us, although I understand wanting to have them later works very well for many others.

 

[diamondringlover]

I was 24 when I had my oldest, I turned 25 in the hospital, my hubby was 30. I think I was a tad to young on this one
I was 36 with my youngest and hubby was 42 (yes they have the same Dad). I think I was a tad to old on this one lol

 

[anne_h]

We were both 27 with the first and 32 with the twins.

There's a 4.5 year gap between them which is more than I'd planned but in the end works out well. Twins are more work than a singleton so I'm glad we didn't have an older toddler to deal with at the same time. We lucked out in that our son (oldest child) is great with his sisters.

I'm glad I didn't have the kids any later. I continued building my career while having them, so now that the girls are nearly four, life is getting stable and I'm freer to focus more on my professional life. I'm 35, so I figure between now and 40 is the time I need to get my next "big" job.

Anne

 

[Skippy123]

Twins at 35. I love being a mom to them but if I knew that I might want one more, I would of started sooner.

 

[jaysonsmom]

We were both 29 when we had our son, and 31 with our daughter. I thought it was perfect for me. I was done with grad school and both of us we're established in our careers, so we could afford childcare for 2, since I went back to work right away. Now we are in our early 40s our kids are grown up enough to make life easy, while we are still energetic enough to climb the corporate ladder AND devote ourselves to our kids in the evenings and weekends.

 

[lyra]

I was 25 with the first, and 28 with the second, both daughters. My husband is 3 years older than me. I'm glad we had them young. It's nice being in our early 50's and having fully grown kids. If only they'd finish their schooling!! To be fair, oldest daughter requires 9-10 years post secondary for her career. Youngest is an artiste, and may never finish school, but she works 2 jobs and does school when it suits her.

 

[armywife13]

I was 22 and my husband was 30 when we had our first, I was 24(7 days shy of 25) and my husband was 33 when our second was born. I do not think we were to young when we had our first, or second.

I do wish we would have waited longer though. It would have been nice for us to take more time getting to know each other as a couple first. Even though we had been a couple 4.5 years and married for 2.5 by the time we had our first, we had only spent 2 years together due to deployments. But a lot military couples start families young and we ended up getting baby fever watching everyone around us have babies, so here we are today with our two beautiful little girls.

 

[SB621]

But a lot military couples start families young and we ended up getting baby fever watching everyone around us have babies, so here we are today with our two beautiful little girls.

Sounds familiar. Out of our group of friends everyone who is military had kids way earlier then us. My DH and I have kids at 27 years old- well they considered us OLD!! But we were the first in our non military group of friends to have kids! Now in our early 30's a few of our friends are pregnant. They all thought we were way to young to have kids in our 20's!!! Just crazy the different lifestyles at times!

 

[armywife13]

But a lot military couples start families young and we ended up getting baby fever watching everyone around us have babies, so here we are today with our two beautiful little girls.

Sounds familiar. Out of our group of friends everyone who is military had kids way earlier then us. My DH and I have kids at 27 years old- well they considered us OLD!! But we were the first in our non military group of friends to have kids! Now in our early 30's a few of our friends are pregnant. They all thought we were way to young to have kids in our 20's!!! Just crazy the different lifestyles at times!

Exactly! While it wasn't shocking for my husband to be having kids at his age, most people I knew outside of the military lifestyle were very taken aback that I had my first "so young." Just means I will be a young empty nester, assuming my kids do not wander back home to live with us permanently after college.

 

[Laila619]

I had my first at 29. Started trying at 27.5 so it took a while much to my disappointment. Had my second at 31. Hopefully I will have my third baby at 33.

 

[packrat]

married at 27, London at 29, Trapper at 32 I think. JD and I are the same age.

 

[jess719]

My first was at 27, second at 29, and the baby factory is CLOSED! I love the ones I've got, but we are done!

I got pregnant 7 months after we got married, and I was really happy with that, but now I wonder sometimes if it would have been better to wait just a little longer. I crammed a lot into my 20's (bachelor's, master's, 3000 hours postgrad for my LPC, wedding and two babies) and I think maybe it would have been less stressful to space it out.

On the other hand, I love that my youngest is turning two next month and it's getting easier. Now if we could just get some family in town to help...

 

[Begonia]

32 with the first and 36 with the second.

I sometimes wish I had them a wee bit younger - maybe the second after 2 years? It's worked out pretty well however, and the kids are healthy, so I am blessed.

 

[kiwiflea]

I was 25 when I had my little boy, it was the perfect time. I am now 27 we have a girl due in May, and that will be it for us!

 

[LaraOnline]

I was 23, he was 26. Perfect for us, lots of energy and at 52 I was an empty nest. Four colleges paid for and now play time!

Good for you April!... looking back now I wish that we had our kids a few years earlier too.

The fashion in kids seems to move back and forth a little, agewise.
I'm gen-X, and it was firmly unfashionable for women to have babies 'too early'.
Perhaps it was because I ran with a 'fashionable' crowd but....
Our demographic waited, and we waited and waited.... and then had to squeeze through the eye of a needle lol.

Remember heroin chic and Kurt Cobain? My theory is that 'slacker fashion' played havoc with the boys, and turned the 90s generation into slackers! The men had drunk the same kool-aid, they weren't keen to stick their necks out.

When I met up (again) and married my husband relatively late at 31, I had my first baby bang on nine months from my wedding.
Two years and two weeks there was another.
Then a longer gap of three years before my third.

In retrospect, I wish I hadn't had to push babies to the very top of my agenda immediately upon getting married, but I'm also glad I took the opportunity when it finally arose. Now, there is a sense of reaping rewards in that the children are getting a little bit older so the hard slog element is fading...

 

[Mayk]

I have one. She was born when I was 35... It took me three years and $$$$ 's to get pregnant. So grateful for her.

 

[Meezermom]

I think it's all relative to timing. When I had my son 31 years ago, I was 28 and my husband was 30. In 1983, that was considered a little later than the norm. Now, that would be considered just about right, or even early.

 

[Niel]

I was 23 he was 29. I think those were good ages for both of us.

 

[gregchang35]

I was 40, husband was 35 with our first. She is nearly 3 now. Our second - I was 42 and he was 37. She is now 5.5mo.

Perfect timing...