PS Mommy Thread-Newborn to 12 months!

[PilsnPinkysMom]

Pancake and PP (and you other mamas, too) are very sweet. I definitely feel uneasy sharing my experience, but it felt worse to be in the thick of it, feeling like I was the only mom who felt such strong, negative emotions. I hope as many moms as possible can avoid that feeling!

Pancake: My meeting with the doctor went really well. He wrote a prescription for Sertaline and we talked about therapy options/support groups. I've always tried to manage my mental and physical health without drugs, but I'm going to give Zoloft a go. My husband has taken it for a few years for social anxiety and his opinion as a pharmacist and my hubby is that it will probably help me. I just don't want to feel like I rely on it. Unless I need it. Which I very well may. I've avoided talking with my doctor about my anxiety and panic attacks, but now that I have a child and suspected PPD, I can't put off seeking help. Our poor Eloise... I feel like this child is destined to be anxious!!

Re: Babies crying in car seats. Woowee... I'm experiencing that, too. I pulled over half way through an eight minute trip to the grocery store just because Eloise was losing.her.mind. I can't wait 'til she outgrows that... please, please let her outgrow it!

PP: What prompted you and your DH to weigh your DD regularly? It's so hard to know whether or not EBF babies are getting enough food... and supplementing with a bit of formula doesn't help! I knew something was up with E after a breastfeeding group- I learned there that she transfered only 1.5 oz of milk after nursing for over an hour. Oy! A follow up visit with our pedi showed that she hadn't gained any weight in one and a half weeks. So, we started to supplement. And then I really wasn't sure how much to give her, and I didn't want to give more formula than necessary- so I rented a scale. It has been a GODSEND!! By tracking my pumping output and doing pre/post feeding weigh-ins, I realized that I make 15oz of milk a day... so she only needs an extra 5-10 oz of formula each day. I stick to the lower end of that, but she is gaining steadily.

LC: Gorgeous photos! Gosh, he's a handsome little baby! What dslr did you end up getting??? I'll have to peruse this thread to see if you mentioned it. We have a Nikon D3100 and really love it. I miss the convenience of a point and shoot, however.

Mayer: Glad the flight went well! I'm sure the move is stressful, none the less. Don't feel bad about pining for your old life from time to time... I think that's normal. Or at least I've heard other mamas talk about it. As for home upkeep- go easy on yourself. I'm living in squalor most days When the baby naps I think, "Should I sleep or clean?" 3 out of 4 times sleeping wins! So sleep! Relax! And be sure to ask friends and family for help!

AFM: We had a good weekend. Our good friends came by to watch E to give us a few hours off... This was more about THEM wanting to babysit than us wanting to get away. I was dreading leaving her, TBH, but it was nice to spend time with just DH and not worry about attending to a fussy baby. We took our pup to a great state park and just walked through the pretty fall foliage. And Eloise survived without us for two hours!

We took her six-week-old photos today. She is plumping up nicely, but I suspect she'll remain a petite baby. I love this child so

 

[PetitiePoire]

PPM- I thought it was a French thing because we were given a prescription when we left the hospital. However, now that I think about it more, it could have been because they knew L was BF and she also lost weight in the hospital. My milk came in on the 3rd day and we left the 4th after she gained some back.

 

[PetitiePoire]

Question about walkers/jumpers:

L is only 2 months old really enjoys sitting up and standing (obviously with assistance). She giggles and smiles the whole time. She's not so much of a fan of tummy time and seems bored on her back. I'm wondering if it would be a good idea to go ahead and get a walker. We've seen one that has wheels that pop up/down, so it can be stationary or not. She has good head control. Would it be ok to get one this early? Should I just enforce more tummy time? or both?

Also, what do you do to help make tummy time fun?

 

[lliang_chi]

PPM, Thank you for the compliments. I have the same camera as Pancake (Canon T4i a.k.a. Canon 650D). I also want to echo Pancake in thanking you that you shared your feelings post-partum. It definitely feels like you in it by yourself and it's hard to remember about everyone around you. I'm glad you spoke to you OB and that your DH can give you some insight as well. I think Eloise is just gorgeous! I love the picture with your pup. How has your dog been with E around? I'm sorry she doesn't like the car seat. Ethan started to hate it only recently (maybe at 6 months) and of course only when I'm driving him by myself. On Saturday I had to pull over and jump in the back seat to try to comfort him, give him a bottle, a suckie, a toy. Nothing worked, he just kept turning away and crying. So I jumped back and drove us home. Ugh!

Mayer, when I spoke to the midwives about my baby blues, I told them I never felt like harming anyone, but definitely felt overwhelmed and just not normal. She was concerned and said they wanted to keep in touch to see how things were going. I'm glad you guys are safe back in the UK. How has N adjusted? Is his schedule still kinda wonky? Any advice for overseas travel? We'll be flying with Ethan next month to Switzerland.

S&I, Aw, I'm sorry to hear A is getting snuffly. Has the cold blown over or is he still getting over it. Ethan had back to back colds when he started day care but (touch wood) has been healthy since. He just has a cough every now and then, but nothing really bad. He mostly starts coughing after he's been crying for a long time.

Pancake, How is/was the flight back home? I'm so glad you enjoyed your vacation. The Mothers' Day treat sounds so sweet, I'm glad you DH did that for you Sounds like you've been getting great use out of the the Ingelisina. I don't think we'll get one of those. I was thinking of getting a Stokke booster (I think they bought the Minui Handysitt). But at >$100, I'll wait a while to get it. DH's friend gave us a small Fisher Price plastic booster + tray and we'll use that for now.

Meg, I'm glad you'll be talking to your OB about your feelings and that your DH is helping you. J was kind of oblivious and it finally took me telling him, "I think I'm feeling depressed" to realize that I was kinda out of it. He's since started paying more attention. I hope you're starting to feel like you can get your arms around your new adjustment. It was pretty difficult sorting out my new life with a baby. And every now and then I still feel that I need a reality check. But the joy that we get as a mother really does help us through the low points.

PP, I'm glad you had such a great family visit. Don't sweat moving L right away. If you're happy having her with you then that works. I was happy to move Ethan since he was really noisy and kept me up. Plus I was always anxious with J's sleep too since he was working while I was off. I'm glad L's sleeping in the PnP better, but poor you re: the car rides. I have no advice since Ethan's hating them too (see my note to PPM). Oh you asked about jumpers etc. We have no jumpers but Ethan did get a bumbo seat just after 12 wks. I think 2 months is still really young for L to have the torso strength to hold herself up, but you can probably prop her up with pillows/towels. I thikn NEL tried putting K in a jumperoo at a young age, but don't remember if it was 2 wks. I found Ethan started liking tummy time more when I put toys down for him to reach for and play with. It started with keys, then we kept about 3 or 4 toys right in front of him. If L is "handsy" try leaving a few easy to grab toys for her to play with and stick in her mouth. It's enough distraction for her to forget she's doing "dreaded tummy time."

Freke, are you guys over the cold? Sucks that all of you got sick I can understand your adjustment being a SAHM but I'm sure your DH understands how much work you're doing at home with A and being in a new place. I can't believe the little lady started crawling already! At least you're in a new house and can baby-proof right away. Has the teething been better this time around? I think Ethan's still teething because his sleep was crap last night (see below). More pics please, I love seeing your little smiley imp

China, I've been lobbying DH to get a DSLR camera for so long, I have to make it a point that I know how to use it otherwise he'll be like, "We spent $XXXX and you don't even know how to use the camera!" Right now I'm just taking time to read the manual so I'm familiar with the interface. Next I'll read books/online tutorials about how to compose shots and the technicalities of photography in general.

AFU: last night Ethan had another terrible sleep night. Over the weekend he was GREAT, but last night it was very 1.5 hrs almost. He must be teething again, or those bottom two teeth still havne't broken through yet. I *literally* climbed into the crib with Ethan last night to get him to sleep. It worked the first time, but the second time I woke him trying to extricate myself from the crib.

Question for you older baby mamas: Do you guys use an activity mat for your bub when they're on the floor? We have laminate flooring and it's kinda hard for Ethan if he rolls over etc. I'm not sure what I can put down for him. His wee-baby activity mat is much too small now, and I'm looking for suggestions for something soft and cushy for him but still firm enough for him to roll over etc.

Also general question any kiddie books your kids love? I want to expand Ethan's book collection. We haven't been to the library in a while, we should probably go and get some more books for him.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

We are back. I'm exhausted. I'm at work sipping an iced coffee and replinishing my reserves. I've caught up on work, now to catch up on PS...

PnPsMom, I think it's great that you shared that insight into the most stressful side of having a newborn. I found it very hard to figure out if I was having symptoms of PPD or was just having a normal response to a really stressful situation. I had a few episodes of needing to put K down and go in the bathroom to scream. I felt awful, but I didn't know what to do. I am convinced there is nothing worse than hearing your child scream and feeling helpless. And for me, I was on cloud 9 for the most part, then K would have a meltdown and I would have one, too. Please don't feel bad--I know why you do, I feel bad anytime I don't handle a situation with the grace of a saint (which I NEVER do)--but you are handling it as best you can. It is SO HARD sometimes. That's such an understatement. And the issues with breastfeeding and facing going back to work. I totally get that, it all just eats away at you. I told D that we should consider becoming mormons because at my lowest, what I need more than anything is a sister wife. I just felt so alone sometimes because I knew that D couldn't understand some of my issues being a mom.

Oh, and the car seat! I remember in my first mom class we all laughed because all of our kids HATED the car seat. K would cry the entire time she was in it. I thought all kids loved the car seat (how many times had I heard that a sleepless baby could be lured to sleep in a car seat). She actually enjoys her car seat now, which is a blessing because she's a surburban kid. I joke that she knew she was fighting a losing battle.

LC, adorable photos!! Yay for getting your camera! I can't think of a better test subject than E. Does your daycare give your container back every day? If so, it's weird that they want you to date it. I can understand wanting to know the contents (in case he has a reaction maybe?), but the date seems irrelevant. I mean, it's not like they're using it over multiple days, right?

Mayerling, you are going through a huge adjustment, you have to give yourself a break. It's perfectly normal to miss your former life. I don't think I'm stretching when I say that it happens to all of us. It definitely happens to me. Heck, I said several times during our vacation "remember how much fun vacations used to be?" And don't get me wrong, I did have fun. I am head over heels for my baby. And I knew that life would never be the same. And I don't prefer my old life, it's just nastalgic to look back and remember how easy things were. I know things will continue to adjust, but am hoping you and N are feeling more settled!

S&I, We installed the Britax yesteday and K seems to really like it. I think she likes being a little more upright. I left the infant carrier with the babysitter. As usual, I'm sad that she's growing up so quickly and soothe myself by telling myself we'll use it again for our second in the next couple of years. And yes, there was some forced relaxation while Katie napped on vacation. Usually we like to do as much as possible in vacations and it's just impossible to do that with an infant. Everything was done around her sleeping and eating schedule, which gave us limited time go out and explore. How is A feeling? Did a cold ever materialize (hoping it didn't!)

PP, sorry about the crying car rides--it's really frustrating to hear the crying and be trapped. Good news about her sleeping better now. Or at least being able to soothe herself back to sleep. Even though K is out of our room, sometimes I'll wake up if she's moving around because the monitor catches it.

Freke, A is crawling!! And is as cute as ever! I'm so sorry about everybody getting sick on top of all the adjustments you already have going on, but hopefully things are getting better now. And even though I'm not a SAHM, I can understand why the sudden change would be tough. Are you going to sit tight and stay at home indefinitely or are you planning to go back at some point? Right now I'm sure you're just focused on getting everyone settled!

Pancake, I'm so glad you're loving the Inglesina. I threw it in the wash for the first time this weekend (had previously just been wiping it down) and it was easy enough. It was perfect for traveling! I also feel like she's more secure in it right now since she can still get a little wobbly when sitting in a regular high chair for more than 10 or 15 minutes. I think in a couple more weeks we'll transition the the Keekaroo, but I realize I do like having K at the table, so I probably won't use the tray. How was the flight back? How is it being home again?

FDL, it's so hard to know what to suggest because it's hard to know what you'll miss most. Many of my friends suggested sleep, but I swear I had an easier time sleeping after she was born than I did my third trimester. I laughed pretty hard at China's suggestion to make a list of things you love about your husband so you can re-read it when the baby's born. So true. And the same about doing anything that takes more than 3 hours. Everything we do has to be CLOSE. Heck, I'm trying to determine where to go apple picking this season because our favorite place is over an hour away and that just won't do this year!

The things I miss most are: going to see a movie and eating dinner at a restaurant past 7pm. Now the latest we eat out is 5pm.

Meg, always, always feel free to post. There are a million emotions attached to being a new mom, some are overwhelmingly joyous beyond anything you could have dreamt and some are surprisingly sad in a way you weren't expecting. My birth plan did not go as expected AT ALL and it has me really questioning what I'm going to do next time. I'm also struggling with having a c-section (and it was planned). In fact, last time I watched the footage of Katie right after my c-section that D took, I cried because I wasn't conscious to see Katie's birth. And the work issue is so hard. I always thought I'd be a SAHM, but in the end I had the desire to keep working. But then there is the issue of what to do after we have anothre and it's just hard no matter what. There is no perfect answer. This thread is so supportive and we all care a great deal, so do post about the good, bad and the ugly.

Chinacat, it's so helpful to hear from BTDT moms who are going through all of this again. It's great to hear that you're able to enjoy it more this time around! Did you feel the same way about pregnancy? I think 2 will be it for us, too (though D has been talking about having 3 quite a lot recenty). Anyway, I've always thought that when I go through all of this again it will be nice that some of it will be familiar waters instead of every single stage being so new. I think some of my self-doubt will be eliminated. But who knows!

ETA: LC, just saw your most recent post. I have multiple activity mats because our floors are original to the house (1700's) and there is an occasional nail head that loosens. Anyway, I use the ones that Janine suggested awhile back from One Step Ahead. I've got hte letters, numbers and shapes and break them apart to use in different rooms or combine them for one big surface.

So sorry to hear about Ethan's teething and the disruption to sleep. It sounds like the teeth are so close to breaking through! Everybody will be happier when they do! K has a 3rd tooth coming in, but it seems to be bothering her less than those first two! I had to laugh at the image of you getting out of E's crib!

AFU, a few things:

1. K is into EVERYTHING! I think it's part of the reason I'm so exhausted right now. She's not crawling, but it surprisingly agile at scooting, so I can't put her down without watching her like a hawk. And now she hates being stationary, so she cries when I put her in her jumperoo (oh how she used to love that thing). On our vacation, we ate at restaurants a couple of times a day. She LOVES this, so it's not like I worry about her fussing. But I can't let ANYTHING get close to her reach. It is very hard to keep silverware, salt/pepper shakers, bowls of sugar, etc. etc. out of a baby's reach when you're eating at a small table. And she seems to know EXACTLY what to NOT to grab. This morning I set her on our kitchen counter for one second because her sock fell off and I needed to slip it back on. She immediately reached for the butcher's block. AGH! Talk about keeping a person on her toes. Being at work today feels like such a mental break.

2. Sleep regression on vacation continued. Naps got easier, but the 5am wakeup time persisted. I think it's because she was in the same room with us. She'd squirm, I'd wake up, she'd hear me and knew I was near, so she woke up. Since we've been back home sleep has been SO MUCH better. No fussing at all when going down for a nap and no more 5am wakeup (that I'm aware of, at least!)

3. Even though the vacation with K took some adjusting on my end, it was great. We've already agreed to do it again next year. I actually think it will be a lot of fun when K is a toddler. And next time we'll have more space and she'll have her own room!

4. I downloaded a couple of pics on the home laptop and forgot to email them to my work laptop. Will post them soon!

 

[monkeyprincess]

PPM, I check in on this thread regularly to see what the new moms are up to and to get a feel for what kind of issues I can expect to encounter in the coming months after my little guys is born. I justed wanted to echo what others have said that it is really brave and honest of you to openly admit your struggles. I think it may help a few of the others mom who are struggling right now and some of us who are expecting babies soon. It is refreshing for people to be open about this issue because too often people try to hide it and pretend they have it all together. I tend to be a worrier/anxious person, so I'm going to make sure I pay close attention to how I adjust to life with a newborn and ask my DH to do the same. It helps a lot to have people like you share your experience! I hope things continue to look up for you over the coming weeks, but it sounds like you have taken control and are well on the way to feeling better. Oh, and your little girl is just as cute as can be!

Hi to all other mommies! I'm due in a about 3.5 weeks, and this thread has been so helpful for me to follow this thread. And I can't get enough of the baby cuteness! Can't wait to join you all sometime soon!

 

[PetitiePoire]

LC- I'm not Mayerling, but call and ask for a bassinet, if you aren't buying him a seat, for Ethan on the plane! We called and they marked us for one and I loved having the extra space. They put you in the seat where there is a lot of leg room because the bassinet goes on the wall. L didn't stay in it much, but I loved having the extra space. I forgot about the Bumbo, L does have one. I'm not sure her torso strength is good enough for it quite yet, but I'll have to take it out of the packaging and see. If we get a walker I'll definitely use something for extra support. Also, we don't have a play mat (yet), but we have started using a giant blanket folded in a big square on the floor. Ours are wood, so we need that extra cushion too. I'm glad you like your camera. It's on our list, so keep us updated how easy it is and how you like it.

NEL- I'm sure it's not any fun for you, but the image of K grabbing everything sounds funny.

 

[amc80]

Sorry I can't respond to everyone...I'm still posting from my phone which makes it really hard. I go back to work tomorrow though and will be on the computer much more, so hopefully my posts don't end up being so me-centric.

That's right, back to work tomorrow. The plan is to do half time for two weeks to ease back into things. DH will be home with B for another 6 weeks though, so I'm really not stressed at all. Part of me is actually looking forward to a whole 4 hours in which there isn't a little person attached to my boobs.

Speaking of....ugh, breast feeding. Things are going fine which makes me feel really bad to confess that I just don't like it! I am thankful I'm able to do it but really, it sucks. I feel like my life is consumed by it. Anyone else feel this way? I will continue to do it (6 months is my goal) because I know it's best. I just can't help think how easy it would be to formula feed. He'd suck down a bottle and then sleep for a long time...versus taking an hour to feed at 3am. I know BFing benefits both of us, though.

The only waking once in the night thing was short lived. He seems to sleep for two four-hour chunks each day (his other sleeps are two hours or so). One of these is in the late afternoon, like 4-8pm. Then he will wake up and start fussing around 11pm, at which point I'll swaddled him and put him down, and he will sleep until about 3. Then he's up for an hour or so eating, then asleep for two hours. Repeat another time or two. He stays up a lot during the day, from mid morning until late afternoon, with only catnaps in between. Unless we go in the car, that always knocks him out.

I will second the need for tummy time advice. If we put him on his tummy, he just puts his head straight down on the floor. I know he can hold his head up because he will do it if we prop him up on the boppy. But he just doesn't understand true tummy time! Any tips?

Here's a pic from yesterday. Finally got around to making his announcements!

 

[Missy0483]

I'm terrible at keeping up with this thread but I need some help!!!!

I am praying that Blake is in a good mood just ONCE this week when I get home from work. And to nap on the weekends. Why does my child have to fight sleep for us? Yesterday, I swear he didn't sleep more than an hour TOTAL the whole day (Same goes for Saturday as well). At least twice he screamed like he was in pain but I couldn't figure out what was wrong. I fed him, he'd start falling asleep so I'd put him down, awake immediately. He is just not content. We can't even "play" with him for long before he gets mad. Finally bedtime rolled around, we gave him a bath and he slept from 8pm - 3:30am, 4am - 6:40am and I know he fell back asleep at the sitters around 8am today. (as you can see, he sleeps good at night, which has me so confused). Please think good thoughts for us. It's to the point that my husband says he's scared to be alone with him because he cries his head off sometimes and I'm going away the weekend of September 28th, that should be interesting. Also for a week long work trip in November. I'm terrified to leave if he's going to be this way. It takes the two of us to deal with him! I think I'm in denial...maybe something needs adjusted...maybe mediciation or new formula. I don't know if he's teething, colic, reflux, growth spurt, wonder week, 4 month wakeful period, or what. I'm so confused. I hate having to work, but sometimes it's so much easier than having to fight with him to take naps. It's so hard to enjoy him sometimes And I feel horrible for saying that. He sleeps for the sitter, I just don't get it. When I mentioned his fussiness before she laughed and said "we have our secrets don't we Blake?" Seriously. I pay you, freakin tell me what you're doing so he can be happy when we have him. She finally gave us tips on what she does today which was basically that she warms his bottle up for naps. Could that really be all it is? I doubt it. We've never warmed his bottle, just room temp. Ahh! Ok, I just needed to get that out! I love you Blake, but it's getting really hard to handle!!

Sorry if that seems worded weird. I was just typing as things came to mind.

 

[S&I]

PPM, E is so cute! I love the one with her mouth open with the pup. Do you have any problems with licking? Our dog loves to lick, and has been caught licking A's hands and feet, and I'm sure she'd love to lick his face too, if I weren't watching. I also wanted to echo the other ladies in saying thank you for posting about your feelings. I'm glad your meeting with your doctor went well, and I hope the Zoloft works out for you. I went through a phase in the early days where I was so anxious about A crying that I was afraid to hold him because I felt like I couldn't entertain him. I felt like a really bad mother, and thought that there must have been something wrong with me because I couldn't soothe my own baby. I remember calling my parents in the mornings to come over, saying "he's awake", because I was afraid to be alone with him.

Pancake, how did S do on the flight back home? Did the time difference affect her much? I should hope there won't still be a rush for the iPhone 5 by Christmas! A seems to be feeling better today. I was getting worried because he felt warm Friday evening and all day Saturday, but the forehead thermometer didn't reach 100, so I guess he didn't officially have a fever. He was quite congested and even had a little bit of a runny nose, so I know he was sick for sure, since he's never had that before. He was also a bit more fussy than usual, and slept (on me) pretty much all of Saturday and Sunday. I'm just glad it seems to have been a mild cold. I'm sure I'll freak out the next time he gets sick, especially if he runs a fever.

Petite, do you know what percentile L is for weight? If her pedi hasn't mentioned the need for supplementing with formula, I'm sure she's doing just fine. Babies seem to suck out more milk than we think. A's pedi suggested jumpers/exersaucers over walkers, saying that babies can get into more trouble with a walker. But if the one you're considering can be stationary, then that's not such a problem. A also hated tummy time, until he got stronger and could hold himself up higher. LC suggested putting lots of toys in front of them during tummy time. We also tucked A's arms together under his chest so he could be propped up more. He seems to tolerate that position better.

Mayerling, that's great that N did well on the flight back to the UK! Sorry he isn't taking too well to the swing. Naps seem to be a difficult thing to sort out. We still just let A decide when to nap during the day. He seems to have sorted out his own schedule now though. He'll start getting fussy about 1.5 hours after he eats, and then sleeps anywhere from 30 minutes to 3 hours, ha!

LC, glad you like your camera. E is the perfect model! Love that he and J are both looking up at the TV. We don't bust out our DSLR nearly enough as we should. Maybe that's why I still don't know how to use it that well. Like I told Pancake above, we're lucky that A's cold this time was a mild one. His temp stayed below 100, so I was relieved. We have one of these mats: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0063D6N7C It's cushiony and gives A lots to look at during tummy time. DH wants to get another one because this one only covers about half of our living room floor. A also has an activity mat for tummy/back time, but you know how small those are. So sorry E has been having such a hard time sleeping. Hope he's able to sleep longer once his teeth cut through! I have no suggestions on books - we only have 2 for A now, so we need to expand as well.

NEL, yikes about K reaching for the butcher block! Yay for K going back to her regular sleep schedule at home. Glad K likes the Britax! They do look more comfy than the infant seats, but I know what you mean about feeling sad that she's growing up so quickly. I need to sort through A's clothes that he's outgrown again! He's wearing 6-9M clothes now because of his length. The belly part is all loose though, ha. A is feeling better today, back to his playful self. He's still coughing a bit, but doesn't sound as congested as he was over the weekend. Can't wait to see pics from your vacation!

MP, I can't believe you're due so soon! Hope the next few weeks goes by smoothly, and you have a quick delivery so you can come back with pics of your baby boy!

AMC, A did the same thing during tummy time. He would just do a face-plant and then cry until someone flipped him over or picked him up. The thing that helped him was if we placed his arms in front of him, like propped his elbows up underneath his chest. Before we did that, his arms were always straight out to the sides so he'd just give up. With his arms propped up, his face isn't as close to the ground, so he stays up longer. Give that a try, and also try LC's suggestion of putting lots of toys in front of him to hold his interest. Post a pic of his announcement when you get a chance - I love seeing those!

Missy, sorry you're having a rough time with B's naps lately. Will he nap longer if you don't put him down? A has always wanted to nap in someone's arms versus his crib at night. We could never figure out how he knew the difference between day and night since we have blackout curtains in his nursery. He would always wake up and cry as soon as we tried to put him in his crib for a nap, even when he had been sleeping so soundly in our arms. We also give A room temp formula, but he doesn't seem to have a preference. Maybe you could try warming up a bottle to see if it really is magic, like the sitter says? If not, you should demand that she tell you more of her secrets.

 

[monarch64]

Hi everyone, just got a moment to catch up on reading this thread and wanted to chime in on a couple things:

Postpartum depression/baby blues: I feel like I've had hormonal ups and downs more than straight up baby blues or PPD, but that can be frustrating since there isn't a lot you can do for mood swings based on hormonal changes that I know of. I also kind of rolled my eyes several times in the past few months over people saying, "oh, you are unhappy sometimes? PPD for sure! Get some meds!" like it's an either/or kind of thing. I just returned my hospital breast pump and for whatever reason got tears in my eyes and was a little weepy when the lady kind of questioned me about it, and she said "oh, good, I'm so glad you did that, here is information on PPD." REALLY? I cry over Hallmark cards, lady, have I been depressed my entire life? How does someone (not even a M.D.) feel it's ok to make that kind of diagnosis based on "knowing" someone for all of 1 minute? I'm sorry if it seems like I'm trying to make light of a very serious subject, I'm really not, it's just sometimes I have felt like people WANT me to have PPD for whatever reason. Anyway, I feel about the same levels of happiness and interest in life as I ever did but I totally understand the moments of having to step away from the crying baby because you've met all their needs and they are still beside themselves and you have 82 other things you need to be doing to keep things running smoothly.

DSLR's: My husband gave me a Nikon something for Christmas and I've never touched it. He brought it with us to the hospital and has taken many pics with it since but I don't think he really has a clue what he's doing. I am dying to learn and use it but there are only 24 hours in a day still and until I grow another set of hands (and eyes and ears and legs) I fear I won't get around to figuring it out. I know I really need to just force myself to carve out time or I'm going to regret only having taken bad iphone photos later.

Tummy Time: my only suggestion is to lay baby on your belly and see what they do. Alex has always been good about doing tummy time even if she isn't totally happy about it. She likes it more if I lay her on my belly instead of a flat surface.

AFU: 4 months old next weekend, cannot believe it. She's already in 3-6 month clothes for sure and even some 6-9 month stuff. I miss my teeny baby already. She is still STTN at this point, which has been really nice. She is rolling over and grasping everything within reach and trying to cram it in her mouth...laughs a lot at daddy and me but is VERY serious with Nana and Poppy which sucks because grandparents want to see those smiles and hear the giggles!

 

[pancake]

Oh my goodness, so much activity here overnight! Not sure that I can keep up!

PPM - it sounds like you have a really great plan with your doctor and I'm glad you have a doctor who you trust to help you with all of this stuff. Don't worry about E's mental health. At the moment she has everything a baby could possibly want or need, and genetics is only part of it!

She certainly has chubbed out a little - I just want to squish her, she's beautiful! Love those early gummy smiles.

It's great that you and DH managed to get out for a couple of hours. I know exactly what you mean about not really WANTING to go but it being good for you. The first couple of times D and I went out without Dot, we ended up gazing at photos of her on our phones together Actually, our date nights still seem to end up that way, but we do enjoy the time alone together more now.

PP - we don't have a walker or jumper for S. Here they are not recommended - particularly walkers, apparently they will be taken off the market soon. I don't think that they cause harm if used properly and I doubt very much that they make an appreciable negative difference to motor development, but I know that physiotherapists object to them.

With tummy time, I found that early on it helped a lot to prop S up slightly with a thick, rolled up towel under her armpits. It made it much easier for her to stay prone and she was much happier that way. Also, toys that force babies to look up a little when on their tummies make it a bit easier too, I think. S is now 7 months old and still doesn't like tummy time much, but it fluctuates. I think at the moment the problem is that tummy time means that she's not sitting up - which is what she would prefer to be doing all the time!

LC, I believe that "they" say there's a sleep regression around 6 months. I think Ethan will go back to his better nights, but geez it's tough whilst this is going on. Solidarity hugs, mama! I can't believe you managed to fit yourself in the crib!!

Re playmats - we have several, but the main one we use is just a quilted, large rectangular one loaned to us by a friend. We have a rug down on the floor of our living room, and then I put the playmat on top of that. I also have some of those big, flat, foam tiles that tessellate together and I put those out on the areas of the floor not covered by the rug.

And books - we have lots! At the moment I only have board books out for S as she likes to chew them as well as having them read to her, but we have a series by Allison Lester - called "Purr", "Moo" and "Roar" - they are all books about animals and the sounds they make. Then there is "Hello Zoo", "Where is the Green Sheep?" and "Ten Little Fingers and Ten Little Toes". I think a lot of our books are by Australian authors but they should be readily available and they're lovely. Oh - and we have the large board book version of "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" - oldie but a classic, and definitely a goodie!

NEL - sounds like you had a wonderful holiday! That said, I know what you mean - holidays are NOTHING like they used to be, haha. Katie is such an active, into-things kind of a bub! S is at the grabbing everything stage too. That said, S is not mobile like Katie is, so we still have a much easier time of things.

The flight back was yucky for us, but S was brilliant! It was a red eye, meaning that we boarded around midnight in Bali, and arrived back in Melbourne at 7:15am after a 5 hour flight. S went to sleep in the plane bassinet the second we put her in there, and slept until we picked her up to strap her into her seatbelt on my lap. When we got home, she had 3 naps during the day, went to bed about an hour later than usual (Melbourne time - Bali is 2 hours behind) and as of yesterday, our first full day back, she is back on her usual times and naps. I do not know how this happened but I am very happy that she's adjusted so easily!

Being home is great, although I would have loved another week away. I must say that the holiday seems like the "divider" between "stressful life before" and "life after the stress". I hope it stays that way, but I am already enjoying thinking about much less "stuff" than I was before. It has been a huge year and I want to focus on motherhood for the rest of it.

MP Welcome! Can't wait until you "officially" join us! I followed your journey on TTC and TTC>6m closely (not in a crazy stalker way I promise!) and am so excited for you. There is SO much to look forward to! Good luck for the upcoming weeks

amc80 - see above for my tips on TT. Propping up is definitely the way to go until they get a bit stronger, I think. Re BFing - I think it's fine to feel a bit ambivalent about it. You know why you're doing it - and it is a finite period, as you mention. Plus, remember that neither way - breast or bottle - is without disadvantages. I am always glad that I don't have to prepare bottles, sterilise, make formula in the middle of the night, remember it when going out, etc. Barrett will definitely get faster at feeding as he gets older, so it will get better!! Love the pic - he's beautiful!

Missy - you poor thing, sounds like things are a bit rough at the moment. I suspect it's just a developmental age/stage thing, and you will have your more settled baby back in a week or two. Hang in there! I would be frustrated at the babysitter too, ugh. I remember when S went through a sleep regression around the same age, the thing that bothered me most was not even the interrupted sleep in itself - it was the fact that she became quite withdrawn and just wasn't her usual happy self. That really upset me. But it goes away, have faith!

S&I - glad Alex seems a bit better! I have to say, S has had a bit of a worse day today in terms of her cold. Coming back to the cold weather hasn't helped, and plus her goobers are much thicker now that she's getting better, so she's getting really quite clogged up with feeds. I'll put some saline drops up her nose for the next feed, hopefully that will help clear things up a bit.

Monnie - I suppose it's a matter of people trying to strike a balance between an AWARENESS of PPD, and making sure that women feel they can come forward and talk about it, and then complete overkill like when you returned your pump and received a pamphlet in return 4 months has passed so quickly! Love that happy, squishy smile!

Mannequin, Janine, PT, Bobbin, Steph, anyone else I have missed - hello! Hope you are going well!

AFU - we are going well. S has gone straight back into Melbourne time, not sure how that happened but it is great! She's a bit blocked up today and hasn't eaten as much (solids) as usual but her breastfeeds are still good so all's well. Still happy, squawking, squeaking, squealing, giggly girl.

She is yelling to be picked up so I'll post more later!

 

[Buttons]

PPM, I check in on this thread regularly to see what the new moms are up to and to get a feel for what kind of issues I can expect to encounter in the coming months after my little guys is born. I justed wanted to echo what others have said that it is really brave and honest of you to openly admit your struggles. I think it may help a few of the others mom who are struggling right now and some of us who are expecting babies soon. It is refreshing for people to be open about this issue because too often people try to hide it and pretend they have it all together. I tend to be a worrier/anxious person, so I'm going to make sure I pay close attention to how I adjust to life with a newborn and ask my DH to do the same. It helps a lot to have people like you share your experience! I hope things continue to look up for you over the coming weeks, but it sounds like you have taken control and are well on the way to feeling better. Oh, and your little girl is just as cute as can be!

Hi to all other mommies! I'm due in a about 3.5 weeks, and this thread has been so helpful for me to follow this thread. And I can't get enough of the baby cuteness! Can't wait to join you all sometime soon!

I just wanted to echo everything monkeyprincess has said here and to add my thanks and my admiration...

A friend of mine once told us over dinner about a car journey she made when her DD was about a month old, to visit her parents. The journey should have taken about 90 minutes but it took 4 hours because baby cried so much. My friend admitted that she had the thought that if she just swung the steering wheel and put the car across the centre line into the oncoming traffic that it would all be over... it was just for a split second, and she wouldn't have acted on it, but the thought popped up. When she got to her parents' house she told her Mum, and cried her eyes out, and her Mum comforted her and told her she was perfectly normal and that everyone has moments like that. I remember listening to her and thinking that I've had that thought myself when I was going through some hard stuff, I wouldn't have acted on it but I have had the thought. And I was thinking how I could completely understand that thought popping up again in a situation like my friend described. I thought she was so brave to tell us that story because people expect new Mums to be all roses and rainbows about life with a new baby. Even when people say they are sleep deprived or baby is cranky or whatever, they are so quick to follow it up with a hurried 'but it's all worth it!'... not that I think it's not worth it, but I do think we gloss over how hard it is and I was so grateful to my friend for being so honest, and also to everyone here who has shared their experiences.

I'm 40+1 today, hopefully be joining you ladies within the next two weeks, yikes!!!

 

[pancake]

Buttons, there's no "hopefully" about it - you will inevitably be joining us before 2 weeks is up! I doubt very much that they would let you go much beyond 42 weeks, even in the NHS

 

[Buttons]

Buttons, there's no "hopefully" about it - you will inevitably be joining us before 2 weeks is up! I doubt very much that they would let you go much beyond 42 weeks, even in the NHS

Ha ha, so true!!! I'm not actually in the NHS but it's pretty similar. The official hospital policy is to admit the night of 40+13, administer the gel on the morning of 40+14, and take it from there. But if you ask them to monitor you and baby and all is well a lot of people have negotiated to 40+17 so we'll see... course, it's one thing to be saying that at 40+1, I will probably be begging for the gel by 40+13!

 

[FrekeChild]

Hi ladies!

A is napping, so I wanted to take advantage (while I can!)

PPM - Welcome to little Eloise! I hear you on the stress, I think you've had a particularly hard time with everything.

PetitePoire - I have heard that jumpers/walkers aren't really good for learning how to walk, because they have so much support that babies don't actually learn how to balance while they are in there.
As for tummy time, our biggest helper was us lying on the floor with her, and after that, toys. Anything you can get that she will look at for more than a minute or two, and have a ton of them close at hand so you can switch out fast. A LOATHED tummy time, so we had a very hard time with it, but we made it through! I let her cry it out until she put her head down. That's kind of when it would defeat the purpose, you know? Oh, and we also would lie on our backs, and lay her on her tummy on our stomachs and have conversations with her - she liked that a lot.

LC - I had the activity mat, but at a certain point (when she started to sit up a lot) we took the hanging part down so she could do it comfortably. When A started rolling around a lot, we put stuff underneath it - couple folded up blankets and stuff to cushion it because we had wood floors. Then it got too small, and we had a foam mat put down. Now we're unable to contain her!
Books - question mark for me. We have a bunch of different types - thick cardboard books that she can beat and chew on, foam plastic books that she can beat on and take in the bath, and then books I try to read to her, but that's really hard. Oh, and cloth books - she likes those a lot - I'd recommend Squishy Turtle and Friends because she LOVES the cellophane inside and poking/pulling on everything inside.

NEL - K sounds a lot like A. We've made a good habit of taking her (not sure of the technical term) highchair seat cover in the car, and always have a couple toys hanging on it to distract her from driving us insane. It makes us look like paranoid freak parents, but that's ok. I'd rather look like a paranoid freak than have a baby with a steak knife (or a sick baby - those suck).

AMC - I couldn't stand breast feeding! I was producing so little milk, which made it even worse to keep trying to do it. It is just so time consuming! I would go back through my days to mentally see where my time had gone - there would be days where I'd spend 6-8 hours trying to BF or pump or clean parts, etc etc etc. It became financially more worthwhile to switch to formula, especially when my milk supply went kaput!

Hugs to everyone I missed! Gotta make this quick, A's naptime is probably almost over!


AFU:
Just about over being sick for all of us.

I'm worried about being a SAHM and now having to meet new people in a new city. Tempted to start a meetup group, but kind of intimidated.

I think we're about to have our 5th tooth. Top left front. She's been waking up every night for the past week at about 3am. Not even crying or anything, just wakes up and starts babbling to herself. But that means a wet diaper, and HELLO, we need to sleep still! So it's taking about 30-60 minutes to get her back to sleep, which she hates, even though she's tired too.

Start seeing the new pediatrician Oct 2. So weird to think about.

Sure enough, there's some squirming going on in A's bedroom! But because I take too many pictures...

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Buttons, 40+1 and still comfy! That's awesome! Thanks for sharing your friend's story, she must have been so frazzled when she got to her moms. The car really is the worst because there is NO WAY to comfort them while driving. I remember using back roads to get places so that I could pull over if necessary. Oh, and you know what oddly helped Katie? Those Rockababy cd's. One of the moms in my mom group made copies of a couple and gave them to me and Katie liked listening to them in the car.

Pancake, I love your resolution to just focus on motherhood for the rest of the year and to let the other "stuff" on your mind melt away. You've had a very emotionally trying year, but the good news is that it's all (hopefully) behind you now. With your husband's new job and Dot growing and learning more every day, you have enough to keep you busy!

I'm so glad the schedule adjustment went so smoothly once you got home! Vacations are fantastic, but there's something to be said for getting back into a groove!

Monnie, I definitely think there is some hypersensitivity around PPD and I don't know of a single new mom who didn't cry (several times) in those first weeks. I would cry happy tears over Pampers commercials and also cry when K outgrew an outfit. There are the obvious physical and emotional stresses of being a new mom, hormonal shifts, usually some type of identity crisis...it's virtually impossible to know what "normal" feels like at that point.

A is looking as adorable as ever!

S&I, we're in the same boat with sizes. K's been in 6 - 12 month pants and they are so big around the waist that they start to fall down. I was just doing rompers or dresses, but now it's getting chillier in the mornings, so I've been putting her in pants. It's kind of a pain! I'm glad K likes the Britax, too, but I think I'm going to end up getting a Diono and giving the babysitter the Britax.

Missy, uuuugh, that sounds SO FRUSTRATING! The worst part is her comment about it being her little secret. What the heck is she doing? Is she putting him in a different position? Does he have a sleep cue (does she use white noise? music?) It could be the smallest thing. K was napping poorly at daycare, but well at home and the reason was that she had a rolled up blanket at home that helped keep her in position, but didn't have it at daycare. Now she naps fine, but that was literally the difference. She still doesn't stay asleep as long there, but I've accepted that home sleep and daycare sleep won't be the same. So frustrating that the home sleep is problematic for you, though! I guess the one good thing is that she naps more at daycare than home, anyway, so at least the majority of her naps are good!

amc, going back part-time totally helps. It definitely helped me. I needed to ease back in to keep me from freaking out and wanting to quit. And while it's so tough to be away from your baby, it's so nice to be able to sit and focus on something for more than a few minutes. It's so nice that your husband can stay with B for another 6 weeks! And the bfing--you're not alone. Two of my friends have said the same thing. I met one a couple of weeks ago and we went for a walk--we stopped because K was hungry and I gave her a bottle and she whipped out her boob. Then we both stared at each other with envy...I was so jealous she could bf and she was envious that I can just give K a bottle whenever.

As for tummy time, why not just stick with the boppy if B likes it? I used a position often where I'd sit on the sofa and prop my legs up on the ottoman with my knees bent. So my legs made a triangle. Does that make any sense? Then I'd put K on her tummy on my thighs and rub her back. She was propped up by my legs and liked lifting her head up in that position. Our physical therapist said to just find a tummy time position that keeps them from freaking out and go with it.

PP, K grabbing everything is funny...until she grabs something that can hurt her. Which is often. When I dropped K off at our babysitter's today, the babysitter said that all of our relaxing time with Katie is over and now she's going to demand all of our attention.

MP, so great to see you here!! Only a a few weeks!!!! EEEEEEE!!

Freke, great idea about the seat cover, I actually keep that in the car because it's a cart cover, too. I keep the toys attached, so I can just use that. Thank you! And I think the SAHM group is great--I would give it a shot. When I worked from home I'd take Bo to the park at lunch and a mom group met there. Unfortunately, they were kind of snooty moms, but I've since seen mom groups where the moms are down to earth and nice, so as long as you find one that's a good fit, I think it could be a great resource!

AFU, I bought my first babyproofing stuff today. It starts.

 

[PilsnPinkysMom]

Hello wonderful mamas and mamas-to-be!

PP: I can't speak from my own experience, but my SIL has one of those walker-to-stationary activity toys and it worked really well for her DD and DS. We have it now, actually, because she said the window of usage with both kiddos was really small- So I think, so long as your DDs head control is adequate, go for it and use it as much as possible before you're chasing around a truly mobile kiddo! When was she able to hold her head up well? I'm looking forward to that time but think we're only about 50% there.

LC: There are some really great blogs about slr tips and tricks, at least for Nikons... so I imagine Canons are the same. Our dog is great with E. Zoey loves to sniff her and give her tiny little licks, but she somehow knows to not go overboard. She acts quite cautious around the baby, which is new behavior, as far as I know (usually she's like a bull in a china shop). Sorry that E is not loving his car seat as well. Why do people say babies LOVE car rides?! We purchased a crib comforter + duvet cover from Ikea (who uses crib comforters?) and lay it on the ground for E. It's plush enough to provide cushion but she doesn't get lost in the fluff. It's definitely larger than an activity mat. I know lots of people use those foam puzzle-like floor mats with success. Maybe that's an option?

NEL: at the sister-wife longing. I've suggested Mormonism to DH, as well, and I'm a staunch atheist! Not making light of the religion or anyone's beliefs, though it sounds that way... I can just imagine that the extra support would be immensely helpful. Then again, sharing my living space and DH with another female doesn't sound so appealing. It sounds like K is going to be on the move VERY soon. If she's scooting around I'd say she's probably pretty motivated to crawl. Glad your vacation was good, even if it was different! Great photos!

MP: Thanks, mama. It was good for me to put my feelings into words, and I knew that the PS mom community was the place to. You're all so supportive, insightful, and avoid harsh judgment. It's great having this little support system.

S&I: Yup, licking is a bit of an issue. Especially during nap time or when we get home from car rides... the pup runs RIGHT to E's car seat! How are you doing, lady?

AMC: B is a cutie!! That's awesome that your DH is able to spend so much time with him... I'm sure that helps the transition back to work be a bit more bearable. You know, I'm convinced there's just no winning with BFing. Would you be able to add an extra pump session during your day so that B can take a bottle during the MOTN feed?? It's an extra bottle to wash, but it's more efficient? If you don't think that an eliminating a nursing session would make your supply tank, perhaps it's worth a try? As for TT, I second the suggestion to try it on your chest on a slight incline. When babes are so young TT just seems like it takes so much effort (which is the point, I suppose.. to develop strength) but a slight incline might make it a bit more enjoyable and you can slowly transition him to TT on just the floor or whatever other flat surface. I know that E flips during TT unless we're actively engaging her, laying next to her, talking with her, etc.

Missy: Hugs to you, mama. I hope this is a phase. Perhaps your pedi has some insight? I wish I could lend a helping hand so you could get some rest and a bit of relaxation. Fingers crossed that this phase passes quickly and that your whole family is able to settle a bit. Do you swaddle him for naps? Where does he sleep during nap time? Maybe a swing of some sort would help? Does he show any of the signs for reflux? Have you tried gripe water for gas? Sorry.. You've probably tried all these things already. It's rough. I hope there's a resolution soon.

Monarch: Alex is a cutie! Wow- she is growing fast!! That smiley picture is too adorable. I know what you mean about the expectation of PPD. It's pretty common, with about 1 in 7 women experiencing it to some degree, but hormonal shifts are experienced by all moms, often with a bit of highs and lows, and those definitely AREN'T PPD. I think it's dangerous for care providers to jump to conclusions, especially if they're pushing for medication and not just extra emotional/mental support. Sorry about your experience when returning the pump. I probably would have gotten catty with the woman. You know, I've experienced know-it-all "baby experts" a lot since having E, especially as they relate to breast feeding. I remember an LC commenting on our low milk transfer and saying, "So it makes sense. There's low transfer, she seems satisfied for a short while then starts to cry and fuss, doesn't sleep, won't settle down... all because she's hungry!" And no matter how much I told her that WASNT the case and that E was actually extremely mellow, despite the low transfer, she refused to hear me out.

Pancake: LOL about the date night and talking about the baby! I think we tried to consciously avoid taking about E but quickly gave up, because she's still on our minds nearly every other minute of the day. There's no sense in trying to fight it! How great that S is already back on schedule- wonderful!!! Fingers crossed it stays that way. She sounds like such a happy go lucky little girl I always smile when I read your descriptions of her sweet, chatty nature.

Buttons: Thanks, lady. I can't wait to see you over here... any day now! I'm in the US and made it to 40 + 17 days, so I think it's possible ANYWHERE. Prediction of due dates if futile, at least for me. That was pretty brave of your friend to tell that story. I honestly don't know if I'd share my feelings with other family or friends. Perhaps girlfriends who are expecting? You know, about 6 weeks before my due date DH and I went on a family vacation and a family friend with a toddler was there, as well. She told me how she pretty much hated early motherhood and was just now getting around to liking it, but that she was generally miserable, struggled with BFing and thought about how she could just end her life and it would be over (but much like your friend and myself, did not actually plan on acting on the thoughts- they were just fleeting). I was HORRIFIED!!! I appreciated her honesty, but I didn't believe that it could be so bad. DH was mad that she told me what she did... And now, looking back, I totally admire her bluntness and tell-it-like-it-was attitude. At the time she even said, "I hope it isn't like that for you, but I felt horrible because I didn't think any other moms felt like I did. People need to talk about it more than they do, because sometimes, for some moms, it really IS that terrible." And ultimately her point was that she made some adjustments, talked with her doctors, and found some additional support to make it through the rough times.

Freke: A is so darling! Sorry about the stress you're under... I say, make the Meetup group! Or find one that looks promising. Those things always start out a bit awkward, but they're a great option for meeting new people. It's hard as an adult. You will be a wonderful SAHM, and it will probably be a better experience if you find like-minded parents in a similar situation. Also, healthy healing vibes to your family. Hope the sickness passes soon!

AFU: Today is my birthday, but I don't think we're doing anything out of the ordinary because DH didn't plan anything (or get a gift or card, it seems?) I probably sound bitter, but I'm not.. I'm used to this by now, I swear!

How long did it take you mamas to feel like you were close to your pre-baby bodies? If ever? Pound-wise I'm not far away, but I realized yesterday that NONE of my pre-baby pants/skirts fit anymore- some don't even zip. A shopping trip revealed that I've gone up about two pants sizes but I don't THINK that I look that much larger. My tummy isn't as flat as it was, but... wow.. I've also got major asymmetrical breasts going on, and it's noticeable under clothing. I'm going to have to stuff one side of my bra when I return to work, because I don't want my teenage students whispering about Mrs. S's lopsided boobs. I'm proud of my body for growing a little human, but holy moly do I miss my old physique (and oddly enough, when I HAD that physique I didn't think it was anything to write home about)

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Sorry to jump back in, but PnPsMom, I am 7 months out and am still having some MAJOR body issues. You so hit the nail on the head--it's not so much the pounds, it's the shape! My butt/hips and my tummy are still bigger. My boobs, oddly enough, seems smaller. Awesome. What's worse (for me) is that I really thought I'd snap back quickly. I've never had an issue getting into shape, so I didn't expect this to take so long. I bought a few cheap clothes the next size up to get me through the summer, but realized in the last week (now that the weather is changing) that I need to really buy new clothes in a bigger size. Like, real clothes. I went shopping last night, dropped a good chunk of change on some fall clothes that are NOT in my normal size, then came home and cried. Not to go on and on, but this has been an ongoing issue with me for months now and I'm so sick of it. I still feel like I look pregnant. Hell, I still have the dark lines on either size of my belly button. UUUUGH!

 

[FrekeChild]

Happy birthday PPM! And hugs on the body issues for you and NEL. I feel like I've given up on that front for the moment.

 

[Missy0483]

PPM - We use a swing for naps. He won't sleep anywhere else for use during naps (IF he naps!!!) The sitter uses a Fisher Price rock n play sleeper. It could be gas I guess, he passes gas a lot. I don't know how he could have anymore trapped in there honestly I use gripe water sometimes, but it doesn't seem to do much. If it's reflux, it has to be silent reflux because he never spits up. Maybe 3 times and he'll be 15 weeks old tomorrow. He arches his back sometimes which I know is a sign of reflux, but I can't figure out if it's because he gets so frustrated with being overtired or if something is hurting him. He doesn't like to be swaddled. He hasn't since he was about a month old. We got a nap out of him last night for 30 minutes. He went to bed at 9pm, cried a little at 10pm (I turned on his music and he went back to sleep) and then at 12am he cried again and the music didn't help so we fed him. He never gets up that early. He always sleeps from 9ish to at least 3:30am before waking to eat. My SIL told us last night we have to do whatever we can to try to keep him on the same schedule that the sitter uses or it will mess his sleep schedule up. This explains the weekend problems, but doesn't explain why it's hard to get him to nap when I get off work. Usually by the time I'm home, he's been up since 2:30pm and I get home at 5:15 and he's fussy by then. It's not that I want him to nap so I can get things done, it's that he's fussy and acts like he's tired and we fight it until bedtime and he won't let us put him down at all!

 

[FrekeChild]

Missy, have you tried Mylicon drops?

 

[Missy0483]

Yes, tried them too!

 

[pancake]

Missy, did Blake sleep better before?

If so, and if he is feeding and growing well, I really (really!) think that he is probably going through a developmentally fussy stage, sleep regression, 4 month wakeful, whatever it is that you want to call it. Babies' temperaments do not fundamentally change overnight, so if he was a happier, more settled baby before, he will "come back"! I hope you don't feel that I'm trying to minimise what you're going through - I can imagine that it's just so stressful and worrying! - but if he's not unwell per se then sometimes parents can compound things for themselves by searching for a "cause" when it's more a "one of those things" situation, if that makes sense.

The gas is likely to be because he's unsettled and crying more (more crying = more swallowed air = more gas). With everything that's going on at the moment, I wouldn't be worrying about a schedule - I would just be doing whatever you can to soothe him and help him sleep. The schedule you can worry about once things are a bit calmer. Have you tried him in a carrier when you get home from work? It might help you get a few things done, he will be close to you (which is presumably what he needs when he's like that) and might sleep better that way?

I remember S went through a period of fussiness, poor sleep and general withdrawn mood etc just before 4 months. It lasted about 2-3 weeks and is still the longest fussy period we've ever had. I remember just feeling SO discouraged and wondering if that was it, whether it would always be this way? - but it wasn't. Hang in there!

 

[ChinaCat]

Missy- Could he be overtired? Weirdly when babies get too tired, they actually fight sleep more and are super cranky. Most babies at that age do well on the EASY schedule- so it's Eat, Activity, Sleep. (the Y is for "you" time, but let's ignore that ridiculous suggestion ).

At his age, I'd look for tired signs about 1.5 to 2 hours after he's been awake. For us, being awake from 2:30 to 5:15 is way too long. So say he eats at 2:30. I'd keep him awake by playing with him, or put him under a mobile or whatever and then put him down for a nap around 4.

Don't get me wrong, babies don't follow that schedule exactly everytime, but for the most part Ivy goes down easily at that time. If I wait, then she gets super fussy and doesn't nap. There have been a few times where she just doesn't nap in that 3 hour window, but stays happy- but that's if she's been getting good naps the rest of the day. And of course she's starting to change her routine, so it won't be that way for much longer, but it's a good place to start.

Also- FACT: babies are notoriously good for their caretakers and save their horrendous behavior for their parents and specifically their moms. Ivy does exactly what she's "supposed" to do for my nanny, but then would "act up" for me. Just what they do.

But I agree that you should try and stay on the same routines that your sitter does (or she should follow yours). In my experience, babies thrive on routine.

Of course all babies are different and what works for one doesn't necessarily work for the others!

Also, no phase lasts forever. Hang in there.

 

[FrekeChild]

Missy- Could he be overtired? Weirdly when babies get too tired, they actually fight sleep more and are super cranky. Most babies at that age do well on the EASY schedule- so it's Eat, Activity, Sleep. (the Y is for "you" time, but let's ignore that ridiculous suggestion ).

At his age, I'd look for tired signs about 1.5 to 2 hours after he's been awake. For us, being awake from 2:30 to 5:15 is way too long. So say he eats at 2:30. I'd keep him awake by playing with him, or put him under a mobile or whatever and then put him down for a nap around 4.

Don't get me wrong, babies don't follow that schedule exactly everytime, but for the most part Ivy goes down easily at that time. If I wait, then she gets super fussy and doesn't nap. There have been a few times where she just doesn't nap in that 3 hour window, but stays happy- but that's if she's been getting good naps the rest of the day. And of course she's starting to change her routine, so it won't be that way for much longer, but it's a good place to start.

The same goes for A. Even at 9 months, if it's been two hours since her morning nap, we're nearing meltdown time. Last night/today has gone like this:
8pm - bedtime
3am - wake up (this only occurs during teething)
4am - go back to sleep
8am - wake up & small bottle
10am - nap time, large bottle
12:30 - wake up from nap
12:30 - 3pm - play time, solid foods
3pm - nap time

She typically needs about 14 hours of sleep per day. Usually 11 hours at night, and then 3-4 hours during the day. She hasn't been sleeping well at night because of her teeth (Poor thing! I hate teething, so it must be even worse for her!) so that would explain the added need for daytime sleep. I anticipate her waking up around 4 - 4:30pm, giving her 14.5 - 15 hours of sleep for today. If I try to keep her up for more than 3 hours for those first two wake periods, there is hell to pay and I have an evil demon take over my normally angelic child. I wish I were joking!

So I'd also look into how much sleep he's getting - it sounds like it's not enough.

 

[amc80]

Missy, have you tried Mylicon drops?

Slight topic-jack- do these work better than other brands? The store I was at only had Little Tummies and they dont seem to do much.

 

[Missy0483]

I know he is overtired. This happens EVERY night. We try to get him to sleep from 5 pm til about 7pm and then just give up because by then it's almost bedtime. So we do bath, eat, and bed then. It's really wearing on us, me more so than DH.

AMC I think it depends on the baby really. I know some people have had to try a few brands to find one that works for their baby.

Thanks everyone for trying to help. I need lots of help haha.

 

[Missy0483]

So he just fell asleep...I told DH to forget it since it was so close to bedtime and he didn't get a bath yet. It's dark out. He falls asleep better at our house when it's dark. All the rooms are really bright before the sun goes down. Will he get his days and nights mixed up if I make one of the rooms "darker" for naps?

 

[pancake]

Missy - has Blake been napping in a light room? It becomes very important around the 3-4 month mark that the sleep environment is modified, so that it's more quiet and the room is darkened. He won't get confused between day and night because the actual darkness is not the only cue - his physiology is now set up to recognise the difference.