PS Mommy Thread-Newborn to 12 months!

[ChargerGrrl]

success! he's napping! I spent about 5-10 minutes rocking him before placing into the co-sleeper. So, he was at his most drowsy this time around. I think that before I was putting him down when he was too awake. If all it takes is a bit of gentle rocking/swaying, then I think that both I and the daycare can handle that for now.

Oh, I hope he sleeps for a good while- fingers crossed!

We're meeting a friend and her LO for lunch today. She had her baby girl 2 weeks after N was born, so the kiddos are v. close in age. I'm sure we'll commiserate about going back to work. Our time is winding down...

 

[MonkeyPie]

I feel lucky after reading all of this - I only get up with Micah on nights DH is working overnight, which is two days a week. I'm sorry for all the naughty husbands!

 

[Puppmom]

MP, you lucky dog! DH gets up but I have to wake him. Sometimes he groans like he's a teenager whose mom is waking him for school. I keep asking him if he's sure he wants to get up and he says yes but he likes to remind me that, from what he hears, other husbands don't do it.

Ginger, it's fantastic that you get a full day's supply in just 3 pumps. I go back to work next Friday and, at first, I'm going to try to pump 3 times at work and nurse N before I leave for work, right after I get home and once later at night. Hopefully, I'll be able to get to twice per day pumping sessions. I'm guessing that shouldn't be much of a problem especially once he's eating some solids.

So, I went to the grocery store with N ALL.BY.MYSELF and it was a great success! It's the little things...

We're having a meeting with MIL tonight to reinforce the things that are important to us (like don't hover over the crib staring at him while he's napping. Then, when he opens an eye, say "Oh, you're awake!" and pick him up Sleep is important! ). We're also going to note what things we aren't so picky about like what he wears (she LOVES to pick his outfit) and to encourage her to take him out so she doesn't feel trapped in the house. I'm seriously flipping out about returning to work so I hope that this talk gives me some comfort. Wish me luck! I'm nervous!

edited for typing errors

 

[turtledazzle]

I had no idea you could nurse while wearing baby. Off to Google - I must learn more! I feel so trapped sometimes when I'm nursing. I can't even reach my stinking glass of water that's 3 feet away from me!

Big fat ditto. I feel the house walls literally closing in around me sometimes -- and it was worse until just about two weeks ago when his nursing sessions finally dropped from 40 minutes until about 20 minutes.

Thanks for the advice on the baby carriers. I know one place near me sells the Ktan so I can check that out in person ... not sure about the Maya -- off to Google that one. I'm only 5'4" but we'll see. The Moby just wasn't working for me, and I read that people generally think it doesn't work as well for heavier babies (though I know some moms who use it for toddlers still, but maybe the whole head and body control thing helps a lot in that situation). Seriously, my husband and I are small people and my kid is enormous. The men on my side of the family are all tall, but it is a little ridiculous. I'm so curious to get his stats next week at his two month appointment.

I am almost certainly going to get an Ergo as well and at the LLL meeting someone told me you can use a rolled up receiving blanket instead of the infant insert until the baby gets really good head control. However, that person had not really tried to nurse with it.

 

[ChinaCat]

Pupp- YAY on a successful first grocery story visit! It's huge. Everything seems daunting at first. And your planned schedule is exactly what I did when I returned to work. I nursed O first thing in the morning, pumped 3x at work, then nursed him when I got home. I pumped more than enough in those 3 sessions.

Turtle- I really wished I'd gotten out more in those first few months. I was so stressed about the nursing thing and honestly, it's not that big of a deal. I wish I'd gotten a carrier and nursed in public. The Ergo is great. You can just drape a light blanket like an A&A muslin one over the baby, or get a nursing cover.

 

[lovelylulu]

speaking of solids, i'm still hung up on this feeding thing.

i'm reading conflicting advice and am utterly confused on "how to follow my baby's lead"

some info says to exclusively BF for six months, some sources say it's fine to begin supplementing with food as early as four months, many say that there is no clear start time.

our pedi told us it's okay to start anytime.

I'm just not sure how to know when *my* babe is ready.

how did you know?

 

[MonkeyPie]

how did you know?

Micah would stare at me when I ate, making chewing motions, from 2 months onward. So he was pretty obvious. But if you give her a taste and she gets excited, then she is ready!

 

[lovelylulu]

thanks monkey.

i'd like to think of myself as someone that tries to approach this parenting gig with common sense, but for some reason food and its introduction has me all baffled.

 

[MonkeyPie]

"Real" food makes me feel that way, too. I tend to stick to the basics to keep anything from being too messy or weird for both me and baby - I haven't given him too many different things yet, though I am expanding on it slowly. I started with the Gerber baby food, sweet potatoes, and he loooooved them. They are still a big staple for us, just Stage 2 now.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

So I think I might know what's triggering Aidan's issues....celiac mommy has been a bad girl and hasn't been sticking to her gluten free diet. Apparently gluten and wheat can be just as big a problem in babies as dairy. I'm going back on the wagon and going off dairy as well to see if he calms down. If he does I'll try reintroducing dairy. I'm such a moron, I can't believe I didn't think of that first thing.

 

[Mara]

re: when to give food. J wasn't giving any signs that i can really recall, but we started at 4.5mo because i wanted to. he was kind of meh on it so we just did it a few times randomly. then as he got the hang of it we tried more items. he is sooo adventurous and has only really had 2 reactions to things, one to cinnamon (rash around the mouth) and blueberries (vomit and blue poo). he's had about 15 diff types of veggies, about 9 diff types of fruits, he eats yogurt now, oatmeal, he has quinoa, cous cous etc. some days i can't shovel it in fast enough and others he is like 'whatever i just want puffs'. he also would love to feed himself... but we don't let him that often, WAY too messy, sometimes i guide the spoon in and then let him hold it.

now at 8.5mo he totally stares at us while we eat and if i am drinking water he motions like he wants some too. once they really get what you are doing (eating), there's no holding them back!

 

[ChinaCat]

Lulu- To confuse you further, I'll offer a different opinion. I personally would wait till she seems ready. I don't think there is anything wrong or dangerous about giving her food at 4 months, esp if your pedi says it's ok. I just don't get what the rush is. Babies don't NEED real food so she'll be fine on breast milk till you are both ready.

For me, introducing food was daunting as well. It just seemed so confusing. It really isn't, it's pretty basic and you can find tons of stuff online that will give you a guideline. But it definitely adds yet another "thing" to your plate (or her plate, so to speak).

We waited till 6 months. By that point, O was watching us eat and reaching for our food which are all good indicators. We started with rice cereal, then did pureed veggies- peas for a few weeks, green beans, sweet potatoes, carrots, etc.

I did green veggies first, then orange, then fruits. He had no problems with any of it.

If she seems ready, give her a taste of rice cereal. If she doesn't act interested, I wouldn't force it. Believe me, she will be on real food soon enough and it will be all you think about! Plus the poops get GROSS.

Just my opinion though, if you WANT to start her, go ahead.

 

[taovandel]

Food is still a hugely daunting subject for us also (and Evan is nearly 1!).

We got the go-ahead around 4 months also. We tried a tiny bit of rice which he didn't really like and wasn't terribly interested in it. So we stopped until about 5 months and then did Oatmeal, which he loved and he was showing those signs of wanting to eat (staring at us when we ate, smacking his lips, reaching for our plates/forks etc.).

Our problem is trying to get him used to more solid foods. We've gotten a lot better but I get scared sometimes to let him try anything. Thankfully though I'm outgrowing it as he continues to show how capable he is. I was getting nervous for a bit that I would have to send him off to college with jars of number 2 baby food though!

 

[Mara]

agree with CC if you don't want to start early and the baby is not showing signs of wanting to start, hold off for sure. i just was soo into starting and experimenting, i found it really fun. plus J was on a mix of formula and BM at that point and i liked the idea of giving him more natural foods through veggies and fruits than formula. also around 5mo i felt like it wasn't keeping him AS full (formula).

re: letting them try more finger foods and being freaked out. i am always freaked out when J eats. there are times when he's chewing or gumming or puts something too far back in his throat and he makes the face and kind of sticks his tongue out to help it come fwd. I have to stop myself from reaching for him. But he's done that a handful of times and i think it's all a learning experience. I can't help him figure out how to eat...I can just be there if he needs me. Also things like puffs and those dissolving mummums help them figure out how to use their hands together, coordination, and the risk of choking is lower since they dissolve. When we started J on them I would tear the puffs into pieces (and they are already small). Now he holds the mum mum himself and bites it off and chews/gums it.

food is def daunting just mentally--not so much in the practical application of it. I just kept reminding myself that i had lots of time to figure it out and that his primary nutrition is still formula or in your case, BM. and the babies are surprisingly easy going about learning i think.

 

[turtledazzle]

We've been out a little, but not as much as I would like though it was partly out of my control. For the first few weeks when he was born it was ridiculously hot here (and we were ridiculously tired) and now it is flu season and we're weary of taking him out too much. (There are a couple of people at my husband's office who are out sick now.)

I did go to this crafts fair in a park and nursed him there with a cover -- but the difficulty is that he's so heavy and it's hard to get good positioning to be comfortable for 20+ minuter. That's why I am very keen on getting a carrier that I can nurse him in -- I think it will help the positioning a lot.



So, I just got fabulous news. The daycare where I work called and they have an opening for us (I work for a major medical center and there are four facilities for child care for employees only). They are always full and can never really tell you how long the wait will be, but I called in August and the woman guessed that it wouldn't be until April. So we were sure we would have to use either of two more inconvenient backup day care options until we got a spot at my work. The spot that opened is at our second choice of the four facilities, but not too inconveniently located for my husband.

However, I was planning to take a full four months off from work -- returning the middle of December. We have to start paying for the day care spot Nov. 1. I had the option to take my leave intermittently or continuously. We chose continuous as that is what is typically done AND we didn't think we would have child care until December. Now that we could potentially put him in day care sometime in November, I am wondering if I should go back to work earlier than planned and take the rest of my leave sometime next year when he's a little older. I was forced to use all of my vacation and sick days during my leave (it is the company policy), so I am returning to work with zero vacation and sick days and it will take me some time to build my banks back up (which will probably be fairly slow as I'm sure he'll get sick and I'll have to stay home with him a bit). If I were to return to work early, I would kind of have unpaid vacation time available to me to use.

I wouldn't put him in more than 2-3 weeks sooner than we were already planning to ... so he'd be about 3.5 months or so. That would allow us to potentially take a vacation with him during the spring that we would not have otherwise been able to do.

Thoughts? I am conflicted about leaving him sooner, but mentally I am kind of ready for work and think that I might enjoy the time with him later.

The other thing to consider is how much of a hassle it will be to redo paperwork -- one of the joys of working for a very large employer Sorry, I'm being long-winded today.

 

[drk]

LL - We started solids before the 4 month mark (on the 4 month anniversary of her due date) because we were struggling with weight gain with my BF. We gave mushed up avocado that she sucked off my finger the first couple times, and then moved on to using a spoon. She got the hang of it really quickly. Then we did banana, then sweet potato and went on from there. There's no need to start with rice cereal, which tastes pretty gross and probably isn't an indicator of whether your baby likes solids. We only ever give rice cereal mixed with fruits or veg so that it tastes better and is more nutritious. I was surprised how quickly K learned to eat from a spoon, when she wasn't doing much more than sitting up supported with good head control at that point. She loves solids now. If your baby's thriving on BM alone, there's no need to rush into solids.

So I sent my mom an email about last weekend and the last time she came to visit us, to explain what upsets us and that things need to change if she wants to be able to visit more frequently. She already wrote back saying thanks for the thoughts, and she's open to talking. That's a little intimidating, but I think we need to hash this out now before things get worse.

Turtle - I enjoy being back at work, and went back at 3 months. I think there are a lot of positives to you saving some of your leave for next year when he'll enjoy your company even more.

 

[ChinaCat]

Turtle- I hear you. O was born and then the swine flu outbreak and resulting mania happened so we were pretty much home-bound for the first few months. I did take him on walks, to Target and a few restaurants but really tried not to. It sucked, but I wasn't going to chance it.

I think if I were you I would go back to work earlier and save the time. Personally, it started getting a lot harder to go to work the older he got and the more interactive he became. I would have loved to have been able to stay home for a few days here and there as he got older. But that's just me, some moms I'm sure feel differently.

 

[Mara]

turtle i work for a big company and whenever my date changed i just called to tell them. i would imagine sooner wouldn't cause any issues. in CA we have 6w disability for 12mo after birth and if i just took 3 of those 6w i could take the other 3 later. G has 2 more weeks he didn't take that i am hoping he can take around the holidays just to be home more.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

So after being harassed by management about taking 3 weeks of paternity leave (FMLA elegible no less) my husband lost his job today FML

 

[turtledazzle]

So after being harassed by management about taking 3 weeks of paternity leave (FMLA elegible no less) my husband lost his job today FML

Oh, no HH. I'm so sorry. Do you have any recourse? I don't know what FMLA says about paternity leave -- we didn't look into it as my husband and I work at the same place so collectively we were only eligible for the 12 weeks (but my state allows 4 months so that is what I am taking). Again, I am very sorry!

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

I think we do, the state allows 8 weeks and the federal allows 12 regardless of it being mom or dad. The harrassment combined with the layoff makes a pretty compelling argument.

 

[meresal]

OMG HH, I am so sorry.

 

[lovelylulu]

thanks everyone for chiming in.

i think part of what's making this difficult is that i was absolutely not expecting to be told that solids were okay at this point. I haven't done any research and it all felt daunting.

i think that i'm going to hold off for a while longer and keep an eye out for readiness signs.

but, i've cut and pasted most of your replies

 

[lovelylulu]

HH that is unbelievable. I'm so sorry.

 

[ChargerGrrl]

Oh no- I'm sorry, HH

Turtle, what great news about a slot opening up at your co's daycare! I would return to work a bit early and bank that precious time for later. That way you won't be stress case about not having any time off available.

DrK- THANKS for chiming in on solids. I was hoping you'd share your POV as my LO is also on the low-weight side. I'm honestly hoping that we'll be able to start solids soon so that it'll help boost his weight.

AFM- had a lovely lunch with my friend. She's a former co-worker who lives about a mile from me, and as I mentioned before, her LO was born 2 weeks after N. We were hoping to get together often during our leaves but it just didn't work out that way. She's headed back to work about a week before me, so our convo today was about our industry and mommyhood. There's a large conference next week that we both "escaped" going to due to our leaves (hahahaha)

I'm thrilled to report that we're currently experiencing nap #2!! all it took again was a bit of rocking and singing. I'm so glad that he's in dreamland again. Nap #1 this morning lasted an hour, and it would've gone longer if I wouldn't have had to wake him and nurse.

 

[steph72276]

HH, I am so sorry

 

[Puppmom]

Oh, HH! I'm so sorry to hear about your hubby's job. I hope you have some recourse. How awful of them.

 

[somethingshiny]

HH~ I'm so sorry. I hope he's able to take some action against the company. Will he be eligible for unemployment?

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Luckily he is eligible for UE and will be applying first thing in the morning.

 

[Mara]

HH did he at least get a good package? I am not sure what the deal is for dads, but I know when companies around here have laid off Moms on mat leave, it can be done if there is a reorg and/or their job is totally eliminated -- but they typically give you a really good package too (like 6mo+) because they don't want you to take any legal recourse.Sorry to hear about it though!!

CG yay for naps!! Glad to hear that the training is working out ok. You may have some setbacks but if you keep going fwd hopefully it sticks.

J's fever is still going on. It broke a little today but then came back before bed. Eating and everything is totally normal. Really hope his fever breaks tonite. Fingers crossed..!! My poor baby.