PrincessDijon...

[bubbly1126]

How are you, lady? The last I knew you were thinking about getting back with your ex-fi, or entertaining the thought of maybe trying to get back together? Do I remember that correctly or am I thinking of someone else? I''m pretty sure it was you...

Anything new on that front? Just wondering how you''re doing??

 

[PrincessDijon]

Yes, you remembered it correctly. Thanks for checking up on me !

I was merely entertaining the idea...okay alot.... No dice on that front (as of yet). I have been super busy with school, two jobs and working out. We (ex FI and myself) did go to the beach one day a few weeks back and it was cool. i know he was really hesitant to go but we ended up having a good day, collected seashells, talked about non-relationship stuff like friends would. It was a really good day. Then we got home (we''re still roommates) and I was about to leave the house for a bit and he asked me what I was doing for dinner as I was leaving. So, he ended up taking me to dinner (once again, just friendly like) and it was good.

It''s like there''s closure on the "old life" we had together and it''s packaged up, sealed and filed away in the back of my memory archives. I have no feelings of hostility, bitterness or anger. It''s like when we see eachother now, we are strangers all over again. (To include those pesky knots in your stomach...yikes)

Then, a week or so ago, I decided not to pull the trigger on moving out in to my own place. I decided it would be more beneficial for us to remain roomies since I need to be on the current side of town I am in for school and such. So, I emailed him asking if it was okay and he invited me to lunch to "talk about things". So, he took me to lunch and we talked about school and other b.s. stuff. Composure''s were maintained on both sides. All friendly conversations, nothing weird. We didn''t even talk about living arrangements at lunch. Then when we were in the car he told me I was "more than welcome to stay". Well, I certainly wasn''t expecting that. Then I asked him if it would be awkward with me still living with him because if he wanted to date people (and possibly bring them over to the house) she may be wierded out with the fact that he still lives with his ex in the same house. He mentioned that he wasn''t seeing anyone and that he was just "chillin". Ok. cool....so that was settled.

Then, the other night, he asked me out of the blue what I was doing this Tuesday. Then invited me to a movie. Hmmmmm wierd....I mean, I know friends go to movies but it''s just strange because we didn''t talk for so long and now he wants to do stuff. I am not "getting excited" about it because it could just be friendly efforts to keep a civil household but he''s usually pretty content with doing things himself or he goes with one of his dude friends. I am just scared to put my eggs in one basket again and be hurt so I am not going to say or do anything. Oh and we both ended up being busy on Tuesday so we had to cancel but he wanted to reschedule for another time this week or next....so that means he wants to genuinely spend time with me....It''s just confusing....ugh!

But, I''m still doing my own thing....Finally hit my 130lb weight goal! I haven''t been 130 since I was 19! It''s like my whole life is starting to fall in to place now and I am truly happy and content now.So, if this works, great. If not, I still have myself and no one knows and it will be good (I only air this out on here....lol).

I also read "The Magic of Making Up" by TW Jackson. It''s actually quite intriguing. A friend had it and sent it to me and it really was quite interesting. Certainly I am not applying the "tactics" they mentioned but it talked a lot about getting yourself on track, having some time away, dating, no serial texting, stalking, ect. Then it went in to why women and men leave eachother....quite interesting indeed. It''s crazy sometimes how we lose track of the other person in relationships and looking back on it in retrospect emberasses the hell out of me because we dealt with a lot of stuff the wrong way. It''s okay though. The past can''t be changed and all we can do is learn from it.

So, I digress, we''re friends/roommates as of right now. Who knows what will happen but I am still going to stay busy.

 

[bubbly1126]

Aww. I''m really glad to hear that you''re focusing on you right now! That is such a good thing!

It must be a bit awkward to still be roomies with him but it just shows me how strong of a person you are to be able to handle it. I don''t know the circumstances on the break up but it certainly sounds like he''s still interested. But like you said, you''ll see how it goes. And I''m sure that whatever happens, you''ll end up very happy in the end.

And keep up focusing on you and gaining that confidence! I can see it grow the more you post and that is a GREAT thing!

 

[PrincessDijon]

Date: 9/2/2009 7:28:31 PM
Author: inhisarms17
Aww. I''m really glad to hear that you''re focusing on you right now! That is such a good thing!


It must be a bit awkward to still be roomies with him but it just shows me how strong of a person you are to be able to handle it. I don''t know the circumstances on the break up but it certainly sounds like he''s still interested. But like you said, you''ll see how it goes. And I''m sure that whatever happens, you''ll end up very happy in the end.


And keep up focusing on you and gaining that confidence! I can see it grow the more you post and that is a GREAT thing!

Surprisingly the awkwardness has gone away as far as living together....AND you all know how I said "Whatever happens, happens" Well, as I have been doing my own thing there''s this new guy (uh oh) that has taken an interest in me big time (not the ex). Part of me feels "guilty" for possibly wanting to go and explore it further, but I know that "waiting around forever" for the ex to come around isn''t a good idea because you miss out on the opportunity to possibly meet the "love of your life" (even if you''re still in love with your ex).

Even dating "experts" have said to still date (even if you don''t want to) while you''re trying to "get your ex back" because it not only serves as a distraction so you don''t do anything "stalker-like" but you may actually meet someone that you''ll fall in love with and realize you finally have complete closure with your ex.

But, this other guy seems pretty cool. He''s really nice (probably THE nicest guy I have ever met in my life!) We have chatted quite a bit and it seems like we have a lot in common. Neither of us want to get married right away but we both feel kind of alone here where we live. He moved here about a year ago for work. I know that there''s chemistry there (which is what I am worried about, and where I am getting this guilty feeling from. It''s almost like I am scared to "move on" in a way because I thought that I might have had a chance to re-kindle things with the ex. It looks like (objectively speaking) that that isn''t going to happen so I may just have to take a chance on this one.

Opinions please?!

Thanks Hope everyone is having a great weekend!

 

[LilyKat]

Date: 9/5/2009 9:30:57 AM
Author: PrincessDijon

Date: 9/2/2009 7:28:31 PM
Author: inhisarms17
Aww. I''m really glad to hear that you''re focusing on you right now! That is such a good thing!


It must be a bit awkward to still be roomies with him but it just shows me how strong of a person you are to be able to handle it. I don''t know the circumstances on the break up but it certainly sounds like he''s still interested. But like you said, you''ll see how it goes. And I''m sure that whatever happens, you''ll end up very happy in the end.


And keep up focusing on you and gaining that confidence! I can see it grow the more you post and that is a GREAT thing!

Surprisingly the awkwardness has gone away as far as living together....AND you all know how I said ''Whatever happens, happens'' Well, as I have been doing my own thing there''s this new guy (uh oh) that has taken an interest in me big time (not the ex). Part of me feels ''guilty'' for possibly wanting to go and explore it further, but I know that ''waiting around forever'' for the ex to come around isn''t a good idea because you miss out on the opportunity to possibly meet the ''love of your life'' (even if you''re still in love with your ex).

Even dating ''experts'' have said to still date (even if you don''t want to) while you''re trying to ''get your ex back'' because it not only serves as a distraction so you don''t do anything ''stalker-like'' but you may actually meet someone that you''ll fall in love with and realize you finally have complete closure with your ex.

But, this other guy seems pretty cool. He''s really nice (probably THE nicest guy I have ever met in my life!) We have chatted quite a bit and it seems like we have a lot in common. Neither of us want to get married right away but we both feel kind of alone here where we live. He moved here about a year ago for work. I know that there''s chemistry there (which is what I am worried about, and where I am getting this guilty feeling from. It''s almost like I am scared to ''move on'' in a way because I thought that I might have had a chance to re-kindle things with the ex. It looks like (objectively speaking) that that isn''t going to happen so I may just have to take a chance on this one.

Opinions please?!

Thanks Hope everyone is having a great weekend!

I would ABSOLUTELY keep seeing the new guy (provided you like him, obviously!). Rather than comparing him to your ex and trying to decide who you would prefer in an ideal world, get to know him for himself and see where it goes in its own time.

I''m very much of the "it''s called a break-up because it''s broken" camp. Yes, people sometimes get back together and have good relationships, but it''s very much the exception rather than the rule. I would be taking every opportunity to date others and try to move on with your life that way (and it sounds like you''re doing a great job of that already), rather than being scared that you might miss the chance to rekindle things with your ex.

 

[PrincessDijon]

LilyKat,
Thanks for the advice! I know the getting back together thing is "slim to none". I know I can't "play it safe" forever and wait around just so I won't get hurt.