Post Partum Depression?

[Sabine]

Did anyone have experience with this? If so, what was your experience? How did you know you had it? Who did you go to for help (obgyn, primary care?)? What worked, and what didn''t?

I''m having a bit of a rough time these days. My husband is a first year resident who just started his surgery rotation, so his hours have been 3 AM until 8/9 PM, he comes home, eats while he makes notes online for the next day, and goes to bed.

My son has reflux issues as well as really bad gas/other stomach issues. He''s 2 months old. Before this week, he was still a pretty good sleeper, but would only sleep if tightly swaddled. Just this week he has been fighting the swaddle because he wants his hands out to suck on, but having his hands out wakes him up.

I''m feeling totally overwhelmed and like I don''t know what to do to help my ds. He''s been crying so much more (even in his sleep). And the only way I''ve gotten more than a half hour of sleep at a time is if I sleep with him on my chest. I don''t have any family in the area, and we''re new to the area so I don''t really know anyone that I could ask for help. I''ve spent more time than I''d like to admit crying over the past few days/nights. I''m considering calling the dr., but at the same time, I don''t really know if it would help.

 

[Mandarine]

Sabine, I''m sorry you''re having a rough time.

I don''t have any experience but just wanted to say I think you should definitely call the Dr. They may be able to help and I think it''s always better to get help earlier rather than later when it comes to emotional issues.

Re: swaddling, have you tried leaving one arm out only?. I read that helps sometimes...

Sorry and I hope you can feel better soon!. I don''t really have any family around either so I know that''s hard...but with your DH also having that schedule it just makes things harder for you. There may be some mommy support groups in your area...maybe that would help to at least vent out frustrations?

 

[asscherisme]

I'm sorry for what you are going through.

 

[LitigatorChick]

Hi Sabine. I suffered from post partum anxiety. My problems were intensified by a horrible husband (now my ex), a difficult baby (colic, etc.), and no family around to help out. I went to my family dr., who is an incredible and wonderful man. He prescribed Cipralex for me and recommended therapy. I started going to an incredible therapist to help with my pp anxiety. The drugs combined with the therapy was incredible. I was lifted out of this terrible fog and able to live a wonderful life. I am no longer regularly going to therapy and am off the medication.

I highly recommend reaching out for help as soon as possible. Get in touch with a doctor.

If you want to chat more, I'm happy to do so online or ask the PS Admin for my email address. You are not alone. HUGS!

 

[House Cat]

Sabine,

Is a night nanny an option at all? I know a few women who''ve done this in order to get some well deserved and much needed sleep.

I mention this because I didn''t even know they existed until these women told me about them.

 

[upgrade]

I''m so sorry you''re going through this. I had some post partum myself, and I have good friends who''ve had it pretty bad. Ask for help. Talk to your doctor, and be honest about what you''re feeling. I know a lot of women are afraid to tell the ugly truth but the doctors can''t help you properly without all the info and they won''t think badly of you.

The other thing I highly recommend is finding a mommy/baby group. They''re often offered through family services or your local rec centre. Your doctor may be able to point you in the right direction. Being a new mom can be so isolating and that makes the PPD so much harder to handle. Having some other moms to get together with helps so much- at least you don''t feel alone.

You''re in a very tough spot with your husband''s schedule- I really feel for you. My husband was very ill when we had our first so I was basically like a single mom for 6 months and it was so hard. I hope you feel better soon.

 

[cdt1101]

oh Sabine I feel for you!!! I''ve been there. I think I had a mild case of post partum as well, although lack of sleep really can make you feel like you''re losing your mind!

Not sure if you read my response to you in the newborn thread, but Jacks sounds so much like Lex in those early months.

A couple of things:

Have you tried Mylicon? I SWEAR by it...really, but for us it had to be put IN the bottle for it to be effective. We actually just stopped using it this week, and sure enough the past 2 nights Lex is not sleeping soundly at all again...so I''d definitely give it a go if you haven''t already.

Also, how long has Jacks been on the new formula? If it''s been 14+ days, I''m not sure it''s the right one for him.

As for sleep - I would sleep from 6pm - midnight while my DH took over...I know that''s not an option for you, but I think I remember you mentioned getting a sitter to help out?? I REALLY think it''s necessary in your case. Even if it''s just 3 hours a day, you HAVE to sleep too!!! I was literally crying for hours and really thinking I was going insane before my DH and I devised a schedule that worked for us.

Lex also never liked being swaddled. Never worked for us. Sleeping on the belly did, I''m sorry Jacks didn''t like it, but maybe try it again?? I don''t know...it''s worth a shot.

I really think reflux is playing a BIG role in Jacks'' lack of sleep. But i also think that if you can get him on a nap routine, it may help. When Lex was that age, he literally had to be put down within 20 minutes of a feed. If not, all hell broke loose and he absolutely REFUSED to sleep! So around 7 weeks, I didn''t leave the house for a week and just kept putting him down. Sometimes he would fuss and cry for 45 minutes before he fell asleep, but i didn''t give up! I never let him CIO, i always went in and soothed him, I just never picked him up. Once Lex started napping regularly, he started STTN. He''s been STTN since he was about 9 weeks old.

And lastly

It''s really important to voice how you''re feeling. It''s what helped me, I got SOOOOOOOO sick of everyone (even strangers) waxing poetic about the joys of motherhood! When in my world, I was mourning my previous life and feeling totally overwhelmed. When a stranger came up to me and was like "oh it''s the best thing in the world...enjoy every minute," I was thinking "this is SO not the best thing in the world...I can think of lots of better things

"

And you know what??? I DO NOT FEEL GUILTY for thinking that! I stopped beating myself up on the inside and started flat out telling every woman I knew that I was struggling w/ motherhood. Once I voiced it, I was surprised that most woman said they felt the same way! I slowly realized it was normal to feel that way because it IS a HUGE change in ones life.

Sorry to ramble...but really just know it DOES get better!! Once you are both sleeping more you will feel so much better. It took me 9 weeks to fall head over heels for Lex (once he started sleeping...hehehe).

And definitely talk to your Dr. too about what you''re feeling.

Hope that helps and take care of yourself

 

[MichelleCarmen]

My babies were pretty easy, except both woke up every hour for feedings. What worked for me was BFing in bed and co-sleeping. When one would become hungry, I rolled over and nursed while dozing off.

That said, I was an emotional mess. Too many hormones and too much sleep deprivation (even with the above mentioned co-sleeping). I waited until my second son was one and then went to a dr. He isn''t a phychiastrist, but a pharmacologist of sorts. Basically, I told him all my symptoms and he gave me medication to try out. There was no therapy involved. Actually, he wasn''t the first dr. I tried. The first tried to talk things out and that didn''t work. The medication did. My son is now 7 and I''m still on the same stuff.

Since you do not have anyone you know in the area, if you can afford to, possibly bring in a mother''s helper once or twice a week. Even a teenager/college student who would charge less just so you can get a break. Also, YES, call a doctor. It won''t hurt and most likely the person will have a remedy that will help. Just avoid Wellbutrin!!! Reason is it gives you energy and when I tried it, it kept me up for an ENTIRE week! Last thing you need.

Best of luck.

 

[fieryred33143]

Sabine, first huge hugs.

I suffered from severe baby blues from the moment Sophia was born till about 4 weeks. I cried everyday and had anxiety. I ended up seeing a therapist for it. And then as Tgal told me one day the fog just lifted. As for who I called, I got the reference from my OB. I had read that it can sometimes be a thyroid problem so I called my OB to get checked out.

It doesn''t sound like PPD to me since this is coming from your desire to help jacks. It sounds like baby blues to me. What helped me get over it was lowering my expectations and then lowering them some more. I never let her sleep in bed with me so that she wouldn''t get "spoiled" but then I got over it and started taking naps with her in my bed. Have you tried this? Get a sleep positioner and lay with him on your bed for naps. He''ll sleep better having you near and you get your rest too.

Also with the swaddling, have you tried to leave just one arm out? Sophia went through a period of not wanting to be swaddled so I would leave one arm out. And when she would start moving around, I would apply gentle pressure on her legs and arm almost holding her down without being too firm and she''d calm down.

 

[packrat]

Lots of hugs to you Sabine! It''s hard, but as mentioned before, it does get better..it''s just *getting* there that''s the problem.

I had a rough patch when London was born. I think a lot of that was lack of sleep and new mommy worries-am I a good mom, am I doing it right, wanting to be supermom and take care of her and have the house spotless-which just ain''t gonna happen. That just went away as she got older and I became more comfortable.

When Trapper came..that was harder. I would lie in bed at night planning out what JD could do w/my life insurance. Then I would have a panic attack, thinking of being gone and leaving my babies. JD worked overnights, and I started working from home when Trapper was 3 weeks. I had NO help. I had people around of course, but it''s hard to ask for help when you feel like the world is sitting on your shoulders. I did eventually go talk to one of our providers at work about it. I was nursing tho and didn''t want to be on anything. I just started taking it easy-took some days off work and let the house go for a few days. Even just having someone to talk to makes a huge difference.

We gave Trapper a pacifier, and that helped soothe him at night. When all else failed and I couldn''t figure out what the problem was, I got out the Mylicon drops. Even if they didn''t have gas bubbles to begin with, after all the crying, they''ve gotten so much air in their tummies by then, I found it really helped. We swaddled him too-and he would always move and shrug his shoulders to get an arm out-if he found he had a little room in there, he fought it until he was free. If I got him burritoed good enough, he seemed to think aw screw it I can''t get out, and quit trying. (I used a 2nd thin blanket over top to secure him better-not swaddled tho, just laid over top and all the way under him)

With his reflux issues, is he too young to be on any medication for it? If he''s on formula, maybe a new one should be tried?

I agree about finding a mommy group in the area. You could make some new friends and get much needed adult interaction. You guys could help each other out too, with watching the kids.

If you lived by me I''d tell you to bring that little sugar baby right on over-I''d get myself a little baby fix and you could sleep!!

 

[nycbkgirl]

Sabine- i cant imagine how tough it is that dh isnt there to help u...i almost feel guilty for feeling that way (bc my dh has the night shifts) but i think u def need help in terms of a nanny/babysitter...i know its costly but maybe part-time for a few hrs to get some sleep"?? i think sleep deprivation can make u just totally out of wack and make u think u have ppd....try to really consider this option! i would be in the looney bin without the help of my entire family..so u are a hero in my eyes mama! i know u didnt wanna use mylicon but like CDT said i think it may be worth a try...i started with a few times a day after feedings...and i gradually lessened and stopped altogether...it takes a while for the new formula to adjust too. and please try the tummy training..it may reallly help! rock to sleep then gently put on tummy and start patting the butt right away...if he starts up pick up and repeat...we did this for a while!

keep us posted and u are amazing for doing this all on ur own! give urself credit!!

hugs!!

 

[Sabine]

Thanks for all your replies, the support here is just so amazing!

I really think I''m just exhausted and overwhelmed with being on my own. Dh has off today, so he fed Jackson once last night and slept with him on the couch for a few hours, and I feel like a totally different person today just from getting a few hours of uninterrupted sleep.

We do use Mylicon in EVERY bottle, although I don''t think it does much. We also give him diluted pear juice because he seems to have trouble pooping and gets really uncomfortable when he needs to go. So between the reflux, the gas, and the poop problems, there''s a lot going on to interrupt him from sleep and make him fussy when he''s awake.

I think I do need to try to relax a bit more. I''m just really thrown off because his schedule during the day is changing and I was worried that he wasn''t getting enough sleep and that it would make him even more fussy because of that and putting pressure on myself that I NEED to make him sleep well or else I''d be a bad mommy. I need to accept that sometimes babies have bad days. I''m going to try to just go with it a bit more, but it''s hard to stop worrying that there''s something wrong or that I''m not doing something that I should be doing.

I did find a few college students on Craigslist that I''m going to call references on today to see about babysitting/helping out, so hopefully that will work out. I also have a dr. appointment later this week, and I will talk to my dr. about ppd, but I really think I just need to get a break every now and then to stay sane!

 

[gailrmv]

Sabine, just another person here wanting to offer you support. My DH has, at times, a schedule almost as bad your DH''s current rotation. When his schedule is like that, it takes such a toll on me. It is like being a single parent, and it is very hard. We also don''t have family in the area. It is a little easier now that DS is 6 months and is usually happier and more predictable than he was as a newborn. He was a pretty difficult newborn. I think it is hard NOT to get depressed or anxious or down when you are dealing with all that on your own with little sleep. You are already doing what I would suggest, but I just wanted to offer my support. I hope that things will get easier soon.

 

[vespergirl]

Sabine, I''m so sorry to hear what you''re going through.

I had postpartum depression after DS was born, and when I went to my ob/gyn for my 3 months postpartum visit, I talked to him about it. I was just weaning DS after 3 months of BFing, so he told me that he could prescribe me Wellbutrin, which I started taking once DS was weaned.

It made a HUGE difference, and I ended up taking it for 6 months, until DS was 9 months old. I felt much better within days of taking it, and am so glad that I didn''t just suffer in silence.

I believe that there are other antidepressants that you can take if you are still BFing, but you need to talk to you dr. about the options - Wellbutrin can''t be taken if you''re still BFing.

 

[DivaDiamond007]

Sabine I am so sorry that you are dealing with this. I too had a touch of PPD after James was born. My DH went back to work less than a week later and my mom helped me out for two weeks. After that I was on my own with this little demanding person and I was all out of sorts. My DH would come home from work, eat dinner and then sit and do nothing to help me take care of James. I felt like a single mom. We ended up having a pretty heated discussion about it and things got much better. I mentioned my feelings to my ob/gyn but decided against taking meds for personal reasons. At the same time things sort of started falling apart with a house that DH and I were renting, we had to move, my mom renigged on some promises and I had to find homes for our 4 pets. It was awful and I spent a lot of time crying and trying to figure out what to do. It did get better as time went on. I was lucky because I have friends and family that I could trust and that helped me through it.

As far as the baby, I agree with CDT in that you should try putting your son on his tummy to sleep. GASP! I know that all the doctors are against this, but it worked for us. In the early days/weeks James would not sleep more than 10 minutes unless he was unswaddled and on his tummy. Granted, he''s over a year old and just started STTN, but it at least gave DH and I some time to re-coup. Also, try prune juice if he has trouble pooping - that''s something that worked for us too. I also agree that you should try to find some help - day time or night time or both because you need to take care of yourself. Do not feel guilty about asking for help!

I hope that you are feeling better soon. ((((HUGS))))

 

[ChinaCat]

Sabine-

Since O is younger than Jacks, I have no wisdom to offer! Just hugs and support. All I know is, whether it''s PPD or just baby blues or just being the mother of a newborn, sleep deprivation and hormones are doing a number on me as well. When O lets me get some sleep, it''s like I am a whole different person. Also, not having help makes it ten times worse. I was at my parents for a week, and having so many people help made caring for him so much more tolerable and in fact enjoyable. I started to actually relax and get to know my newborn. Now that I am back home and pretty much alone all day, it''s hard to stay in a good mood. My DH doesn''t work near as much as yours, but he is still gone all day and doesn''t get home until 8 pm or so. He basically puts him to bed after the 10 pm feeding and lets me go to bed, but I am the one that gets up with him all night and I have him all day. It''s not really much help. I am trying not to be so resentful, but it''s hard.

Anyways, just saying that I understand and you''re not alone. BUT sounds like you need to either get some help from your doctor or get a night nurse or something. Something''s gotta give for you, and between the hormones and Jacks not sleeping and your DH not being home, you just can''t manage it all. And that''s ok!!! If I were to do this again, I would have arranged for a baby nurse before I even got home from the hospital. I think if I were you, I would find a baby-sitter or night nurse right away and see if getting some sleep helps. And then I would call my doctor and tell them what''s going on. Don''t be too stubborn to ask for help. There is no reason this has to be so hard on us new moms.

Good luck, and keep us posted. Wish we all lived near each other so we could hang out and help one another out!!!!

 

[Mara]

sabine, so sorry to hear you guys are having a tough time.

i read this recently and thought maybe it could help. have you tried setting him to sleep in something like a bouncer/bouncy seat? i was reading reviews for one of the ones i was looking at on target and so many moms said it helped their kids with acid reflux problems sleep more soundly and gave them some peace. something about the baby not being flat, and instead being on an incline? again no hands on experience, just figured i''d mention it. good luck sweetie and hang in there.

 

[LitigatorChick]

Sabine, please talk to your doctor. I know from my post partum anxiety that it tricks you - you have a good day and you are convinced you are okay. You will find anything to convince yourself it is okay. And then you hit a low again, but by the time the doctor''s appointment arrives, you are on a good day again and neglect to talk about it. It was hard for me to tell my doctor that I *gasp* believed I had a mental health issue, but it truly saved my emotional, spiritual, and mental health life.

 

[erica k]

My mothers'' group includes a free service where an experienced mom drops by your house once a week for a few hours to help with laundry, cleaning, and to talk. You could ask a postpartum support group if there''s anything like this in your area.

My 7 month old still wakes up 5-8 times a night (6pm to 5.30am) and is hard to put down for naps during the day. He has an intense temperament and exhausts me both physically and mentally. I''m the only one who can keep him asleep, he doesn''t take a pacifier or a bottle, and throws up if left alone to cry for more than a few minutes. I haven''t spent more than 2 hours away from him, and my husband and I haven''t spent any time alone in 7 months. It''s rough on the marriage, rough on everything.

The things that help me:
A structured day--Both the baby and I thrive on routine. It also helps move the day along.
Exercise--A quick 20 minute jog around the neighborhood.
Napping--I often nap for an hour with my son in the early afternoon.
Movies--The first movie of the day is usually empty. I''ve walked laps around a theater while watching a 1pm show.
Park--Go to the park. Even if you don''t know anyone, other parents will start talking to you simply because you''re there. Contact with others is key if you''re feeling isolated.

If you are nursing, you might want to change your diet to see if anything is affecting your son''s stomach issues. A friend of mine is dealing with a colicky baby and has cut all dairy from her diet, which seems to help.

Sleeplessness is a serious problem. When you''re sleep-deprived, your emotions can spiral out of control. Not to mention the postpartum hormones. I hope you are finding the help that you need to get through this rough period.

 

[Dreamer_D]

**Threadjack so so sorry!**

ERICA! I have missed you and thought of you often my due date friend! Please stop by the newborn thread to update us on your son and keep in touch! I''m sorry you are having a tough time... parenthood is rough. My son also wakes a lot

 

[D2B]

Oh you poor thing. Remember that sleep deprevation is a form of torture

, I mean seriously my DS was a terrible sleeper and I had no sleep, it nearly killed me, and only another parent can understand what I mean by that.

I would try and fix up your sleep first, get a sitter in for a few hours a day so you can catch up at sleep, or at night if possible - you might find that is the key to getting you back on track, as well as mixing with other new mums and getting out and about. Lack of sleep was horrendos, it plays with your mind and is not something I want to go through again - from what you wrote in your inital post, getting sleep will hopefully sort out the rest - it made a huge difference to how I felt - it is worth the money to hire someone - try it
and fingers crossed for you - hoepfully with some more sleep you can begin to address the reflux and come to a solution for all of you.
all the best
db