Poll: Is this weird?

[wcitygirl]

OK, so I''m kind of bummed that my bf doesn''t want to look at rings together. He says he wants to do it all by himself and wants me to be super surprised. It''s not just that I kind of wanted a say in what was bought, but that I just that I thought this was part of the fun of the process. The window shopping, you know? It just sort of builds the excitement. I don''t know, maybe I feel like I''m sort of missing out on some of the fun. BUT, I feel sort of awkward and desperate looking at rings by myself or with my friends. So, do you think it''s weird and awkward or that I should just do it and get over myself?

 

[MelissaSue]

I don't think its weird. Its fun! I have my e-ring and I still like to look at rings. You just have to realize that you may find something you love and not be able to get it!

 

[snow_happy]

Hi wcitygirl--

I know what you mean about feeling weird to go try on rings by yourself or with friends. My boyfriend initially wanted it to be a super surprise too but when we went to get a new chain for my necklace he was ok with sitting there while I tried on rings. I wasn''t trying to trick him into going to the jewelry store but things worked out that way! Anyways, I think it''s important for him to get a rough estimate on what you like. I mean I TOTALLY wanted a three-stone ring until I tried it one and I hated it! He can still super surprise you but by going it will be a GOOD surprise

 

[appletini]

Go ahead and look at rings and then send him pictures of rings you like, and that way he will have an idea of what you like.

 

[Kaleigh]

Hey, that''s half the fun. You need to try on different shapes to get an idea of what looks good on your hand. Give him pictures of what you like. I think that would only help him in the selection process.

 

[AmberGretchen]

I second the trying on - I have looked both with my bf and without. I think its especially crucial because sometimes you love the way something looks in pictures, as someone mentioned about the three-stone, but then you hate the way it looks on your hand - these things are really individual, and the only way you will know is by trying. I would try to find things that you do and don''t like how they look on your hand and send pics to your bf so at least he has some idea.

 

[Lurchie]

Are you kidding??? Go look!!! How can you deprive your friends of the joy of ring shopping? That would just be selfish.

 

[fatafelice]

I think you should absolutely go with your friends! I can''t wait for one of mine to come visit me so that we can go! I think it will be even more fun because I can try on tons of drool-worthy rings without my BF freaking out about prices or getting bored.

 

[lmurden]

I would definitely go and look at diamond rings myself and with a friend! I don''t quite get why your boyfriend would not want to look at rings with you since he will be spending a lot of money on your ring(s). Also it is not desperate it''s a good idea to see what looks good on you. Good luck!

 

[jlc0604]

I too cannot understand why a guy would want to spend all that time and thousands of dollars on a ring when he has NO idea if his girl will like it or not!!!!

I understand wanting it to be a surprise, but I can''t understand not wanting any input at all! I guess some guys just feel weird about having the girl pick it out, since it is a gift. But it''s more than just any gift - it''s something you will wear every day and is likely the most expensive piece of jewelry you''ll ever own. You should LOVE it!

I say go look, and email your boyfriend pictures of what you like. That way he''ll at least know what direction to go in. I took this a step further and sent my boyfriend a Word document filled of photos, specifications, and websites of exactly what I want. A little anal, I know - but I would think it was a waste of money if I had to look at it every day and wished it were somewhat different. Luckily my boyfriend understands and doesn''t think I''m crazy!! And since we won''t be getting engaged for 6 months to a year, it''ll still be a total surprise as to when he gets it and proposes. The best of both worlds, IMO.

 

[wcitygirl]

Yes, I agree with all your sentiments re: why wouldn''t a boy want to take the girl to make sure it''s what she likes? I said something once like: Well, BF, what if I hate what you pick out. And he said: So, we''ll take it back. No big deal. And I said: But, I want to keep the one you gave me? I mean, that''s the one you want me to have? And he looked at me like I was crazy and said: ''Well, let''s be practical here. You have to wear it all the time.'' And I thought, ''YES, Let''s be practical. We should look together.'' Sigh. Oh well. I don''t want to deprive him of his manly duties. And he feels like HE gets final say since HES paying for it.... Which I can kind of see to a point? I''m not sure. He is extraordinarily boy-like -- extremely practical. You know?

I''m going to take my friends! Yay! Thanks for your input!!!

 

[wcitygirl]

Of course, then, there IS the negative part of me that''s feels like this proposal stuff is never going to happen anyway and this is just a "symptom" of that? And I should just fuhgeddaboudit.

Grr -- I hate this! Like someone else said on another post -- it''s so difficult for us girls to not be a part of this because we''re so in control of everything else in our life.

 

[hopefulbutpoor]

I''m a HUGE control freak, so I would really be upset if my bf got me something I didn''t love. . .so *just in case* I shop. . .oh and also - just for fun! I have a close friend that my bf hangs out with occasionally even without me - so my friends and I think that if bfr looks for advice, this friend should have all of my information and specifications ready!

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Definetly look at rings. I''m married and STILL look at rings.

Bring along a friend and just play around for fun

 

[windy1365]

My friend and I sometimes take off our e-ring and go into jewelry stores and pretend that our bf has asked us to start looking at rings. Then, we try on all kinds of diamond rings. It''s fun!! The mall rings are always yellow from the side, so I gladly slip my ''G'' diamond ring back on my finger afterwards.

 

[rms]

if it makes you feel any better....my husband surprised me with the diamond when we got engaged. I shopped for my new setting all by myself for months. Not only did he not care at all, he didn't even know what I was getting until I already had it. It seemed kind of strange at first, but trust me, I got over it!!

 

[Todd07]

If he''s not going to go looking with you, the best thing you can do is give him homework

Get him to read through the tutorial here on PS.

I think most guys will enjoy the process more if they really understand what they are doing and PS does a great job of teaching the basics. It was a completely different experience for me before and after discovering PS.

 

[snow_happy]

wcitygirl--
I think someone brought up a great suggestion. Go look at rings with your friends and then find which style like best on your finger and then just print out photos for him. It will still be a surprise but then he will have an idea of what you want. I definitely know what you mean about not wanting to return what he gave you... I mean returning a Christmas present and returning an engagement ring are too different things!