People are giving me grief about my reset.

[geckodani]

Oy. Let me first say that I''m a newish member to the forums and have enjoyed reading about and looking at all of everyone''s gorgeous jewelry.

I''ve been married for 2 years, been wearing my ER for 3 years. It''s a .75, D, VS2, "Ideal" cut. Set in a lovely Tiffany style 6 prong with a plain band.

When it was presented to me, my husband told me that he had no clue what setting to get me, and that I could change it whenever I liked. I liked the look of the 6 prong and kept it.

3 years later, there''s nothing wrong with my ring, it''s still beautiful. But I got the itch to reset it, hubby said go for it and away I went! I ended up with something just a little bit funkier then my original, but still rather classic. (Here''s a link to the inspiration ring: http://www.engagement-ring-mountings.com/ring_settings_info_1670.htm#more_pictures) The wax of my new ring should be ready tomorrow and I''m really excited about it.

BUT - My mother in law is giving me grief about it. "I wore the same ring for 25 years." My mom is giving me grief about it, "I wore a ring I didn''t like for 15 years. There''s nothing wrong with yours." My friends are all giving me weird looks as I get excited to go and see the wax.

I''m not spending money we don''t have. In fact, I''m not spending much at all ($325 total). So - why is everyone giving me grief?

Has anyone else gotten this reaction? How did you handle it?

 

[surfgirl]

Just dont talk about it with them then. I bet they wouldn''t have even noticed the difference if you hadn''t said anything because the new design is so close to the old one...

 

[february2003bride]

Date: 7/23/2008 12:08:54 PM
Author:geckodani
Oy. Let me first say that I''m a newish member to the forums and have enjoyed reading about and looking at all of everyone''s gorgeous jewelry.

I''ve been married for 2 years, been wearing my ER for 3 years. It''s a .75, D, VS2, ''Ideal'' cut. Set in a lovely Tiffany style 6 prong with a plain band.

When it was presented to me, my husband told me that he had no clue what setting to get me, and that I could change it whenever I liked. I liked the look of the 6 prong and kept it.

3 years later, there''s nothing wrong with my ring, it''s still beautiful. But I got the itch to reset it, hubby said go for it and away I went! I ended up with something just a little bit funkier then my original, but still rather classic. (Here''s a link to the inspiration ring: http://www.engagement-ring-mountings.com/ring_settings_info_1670.htm#more_pictures) The wax of my new ring should be ready tomorrow and I''m really excited about it.

BUT - My mother in law is giving me grief about it. ''I wore the same ring for 25 years.'' My mom is giving me grief about it, ''I wore a ring I didn''t like for 15 years. There''s nothing wrong with yours.'' My friends are all giving me weird looks as I get excited to go and see the wax.

I''m not spending money we don''t have. In fact, I''m not spending much at all ($325 total). So - why is everyone giving me grief?

Has anyone else gotten this reaction? How did you handle it?

Honestly, most women don''t reset or upgrade so you''re not likely to find people who can relate. Should they be genuinely happy for you? Yes! But will they understand? Not necessarily. And some may take it as you are bragging or showing off (even though we know you aren''t

). Enjoy your new setting and when it''s done, please post pictures!

 

[geckodani]

Thanks february2003bride.

I guess it just irked me, LOL. And I'm truly not trying to brag or show off. I'm just excited about something new. I have tried to limit my chatting to people that also love jewelry.

I will be sure to post pictures when it's done! I can't wait to see the profile of my diamond! It's all snugged in there so I can't see it at the moment.

edit: From now on I'll limit my gushing to all of you.

 

[Bia]

Honey, people are always going to have opinions--but no one says we have to like them. Don''t pay it any mind. You got (and paid for!) what you wanted. It is your ring, you can do whatever you want.

If they keep talking sh*t, tell them that what they did was fine, but that you and your husband decided something different and you''re happy with your decision. But don''t say it that nicely.

 

[geckodani]

LOL Bia. Fair enough.

 

[BriBee]

Ditto to the first 2 responses. That's why you have to come to PS and tell us all about it so we can oooh and aaaah and be excited with you

I have friends who like jewelry, but none of them understands my PS obsession. Even my best friend who I would say is just as in to diamonds as I am, and picked and designed her own ring, doesn't get it. That's why I'm glad I can come here and read and talk about whatever I want related to jewelry, and no one is going to judge me or think I'm weird or too obsessed with diamonds and jewelry. Good luck with your project, can't wait to see it

 

[Amzizzle]

You should be excited I would just not let them know. I think it''s beautiful by the way! Anyways I know a woman who has been married a couple years and she wants to upgrade to something a bit bigger and none of us are giving her grief,so don''t worry about it!

 

[geckodani]

I knew I could count on my PS buddies to make me feel better.

BriBree- Yeah, my friends don't understand how excited I am about a new profile on my ring. Apparently they don't spend a large part of their boring workday playing with their rings....

My husband and I have a deal - he can talk incessently about whatever video game is coming out next, and I can wax poetic about jewelry. We both listen just enough to converse. Everyone is happy.

Amzizzle - Thanks!

 

[MonkeyPie]

Date: 7/23/2008 12:22:23 PM
Author: february2003bride

Honestly, most women don''t reset or upgrade so you''re not likely to find people who can relate. Should they be genuinely happy for you? Yes! But will they understand? Not necessarily. And some may take it as you are bragging or showing off (even though we know you aren''t

). Enjoy your new setting and when it''s done, please post pictures!

Ditto. When I started looking for a new ring set, only one of my friends understood my desire (and partial need, thanks to swelling fingers) to do so. Everyone else looked at me like I just was never satisfied, like I was greedy and wanted to spend a lot of money for no reason. Considering we are pretty tight on cash all the time, that is SO far from the truth it''s ridiculous. But do what you love - who cares what others think?

 

[geckodani]

MonkeyPie - I wish I didn''t care what people think. Mayhap I should work on that, eh? We''re pretty tight with the money too, most of the time. So when hubby wants a new computer and I want new shinies, there''s room to negotiate, LOL.

 

[Diamond*Dana]

My family and friends do not understand my love of bling either, and this has been going on since I was a small child. That is why I am so happy that I found this wonderful community of folks just like me! I have literally reset stones so many times that I have forgotten how many times...I thought that I was just hard to please and got bored easily. Imagine my delight when I found PS!

I am sure that your new ring is going to be perfect!

 

[Cachette]

I say good for you!

A reset (or upgrade for that matter!) is fun! IMO it doesn`t take away from the meaning of a relationship to your partner. A ring is something that you look at all the time so why shouldn`t you enjoy a change now and again. Imagine wearing the same shirt every day?

But that`s why I love this place. There are others like me here that understand my infatuation with diamonds (and the need to reset or upgrade now and again

)

My family and friends doesn`t get it either. DH does so that`s all that matters to me. But even if he didn`t....

Looking forward to seeing your beautiful reset!!

Take care.

Cachette

 

[gemgirl]

Date: 7/23/2008 12:22:23 PM
Author: february2003bride

Date: 7/23/2008 12:08:54 PM
Author:geckodani
Oy. Let me first say that I''m a newish member to the forums and have enjoyed reading about and looking at all of everyone''s gorgeous jewelry.

I''ve been married for 2 years, been wearing my ER for 3 years. It''s a .75, D, VS2, ''Ideal'' cut. Set in a lovely Tiffany style 6 prong with a plain band.

When it was presented to me, my husband told me that he had no clue what setting to get me, and that I could change it whenever I liked. I liked the look of the 6 prong and kept it.

3 years later, there''s nothing wrong with my ring, it''s still beautiful. But I got the itch to reset it, hubby said go for it and away I went! I ended up with something just a little bit funkier then my original, but still rather classic. (Here''s a link to the inspiration ring: http://www.engagement-ring-mountings.com/ring_settings_info_1670.htm#more_pictures) The wax of my new ring should be ready tomorrow and I''m really excited about it.

BUT - My mother in law is giving me grief about it. ''I wore the same ring for 25 years.'' My mom is giving me grief about it, ''I wore a ring I didn''t like for 15 years. There''s nothing wrong with yours.'' My friends are all giving me weird looks as I get excited to go and see the wax.

I''m not spending money we don''t have. In fact, I''m not spending much at all ($325 total). So - why is everyone giving me grief?

Has anyone else gotten this reaction? How did you handle it?

Honestly, most women don''t reset or upgrade so you''re not likely to find people who can relate. Should they be genuinely happy for you? Yes! But will they understand? Not necessarily. And some may take it as you are bragging or showing off (even though we know you aren''t

). Enjoy your new setting and when it''s done, please post pictures!

I completely agree with february2003bride, most women (in life away from Pricescope) don''t reset or upgrade their rings. You''re lucky to be able to do what you want to do without it pinching your pocketbook. This really has absolutely nothing to do with anyone else but yourself, and to a certain extent- your husband. Of course we''d like them to be happy about our choices too!

If your family and your friends aren''t able to see past their own noses in order to share in your excitement, just come here and we''ll be oh so happy to oooooo and aahhhhh over your new creation with you! Really, don''t fret it. We seem to live in an age when everyone has become suddenly judgemental and opinionated, and has lost their brains'' sensor for their thoughts and emotions. I''ve almost wanted to out and out tell people at times....... "just be happy for me", but of course we can''t, because that would make us just like them.

You do what makes YOUR heart dance!

 

[vespergirl]

This is the place to come to commisserate - most people outside of PS never really think about their rings after they get married, but we here are the diamond-obsessed, so it''s really common to upgrade or reset. My friends and family didn''t understand when I switched from an asscher to an RB - they just don''t care enough about jewelry. So, it took over 6 months before anyone in our family even noticed. They still thought it was a little strange, but I''m happier with the change, and that''s all that matters. I just wouldn''t discuss it with them if they don''t get it - that''s what we''re here for!

 

[HollyS]

Why is everyone giving you grief? Simple human emotion . . . jealousy. It may not be expensive or huge, but you are getting ''what you want''. And they didn''t.

Enjoy the new setting without feeling guilty. Wear it with pride. You can flaunt all you want right here. We''ll let you.

If you want to know from jealousy, well, let me tell you a story. My ''best friend'', known to me for 27 yrs, I''m her child''s godmother -- get the picture? -- TOLD a mutual friend that my DH would never give me a ring. When I got the ring, she TOLD the friend that DH might have purchased the ring, but would never marry me. Envious? Much? The point is that people you thought you knew, and trusted, and loved, will disappoint you by being perfectly human in their pettiness. Even your mom.

(My DH, in response to hearing about her lack of happiness for us, gave me a sapphire and diamond band for Valentine''s Day because he knows that sapphires are her favorite stone. He wanted to give her jealousy a little nudge! That was his ''perfectly human'' pettiness showing!!

)

 

[fieryred33143]

I have found that a lot of people don't know the cost of jewelry in general. It's possible that your family/friends are thinking that you are going to spend thousands to get it reset and don't see the need for it.

Also, a lot of people outside of forums like PS don't understand the point of resetting or upgrades and IRL hardly no one really resets or upgrades. So seeing someone do that is probably out of the ordinary for them.

I wouldn't worry about it. You love it. Your hubby loves it. Go for it and enjoy! Can't wait to see pics!

 

[pyramid]

If it makes you happy then reset your ring. You are the main person in this. Yes only the Pricescope community really understands this.

 

[julesbeth]

Hi Dani -

Your new reset is going to be GORGEOUS! I can''t wait to see it finished!

People def. looked at me like I was a b*tch, ingrate, out of my mind, etc... when I told them I was changing mine. Some people were like ''Oh, you CAN''T change it'' blah, blah, blah.... I felt pretty bad about it, but honestly I am so happy with the end result I don''t CARE what they think!

(and my mother in law hasn''t seen it yet... I''m keeping my mouth shut until she says something)

 

[omieluv]

It is frustrating when people do not support us on things that make us truly happy, especially close friends and family. In this case, it is clear that you are excited about resetting your ring and you would at least think your mom/MIL would notice that and at least support you. Granted, they never had the urge to change their settings, which is fine for them, but you were not asking their opinion on whether you should change your setting!

For example, I have a friend who really wanted a 4-wheeler, which is really not something I am into, but I was excited for her when her DH surprised her with one. However, when I talk to her about e-rings, she makes snide comments about the expense involved and why I want a diamond larger than .75ct''s...etc. She is entitled to her opinion, but I am not asking her for her opinion on the diamond size, just the setting type, so part of me thinks that she should just keep some of her negativity to herself. So now I just refrain from the whole discussion and have realized that she is only going to be supportive of things that she approves of. I have another close friend who is really not all that into jewelry, so I do not talk to her much about it either, though I am fairly sure she will be excited for me when I have the actual ring, which is all I can really ask for.

As for your friends, I can understand the weird looks because not that many people would be interested in how e-ring is made (that is what PS is for), perhaps they would be more interested in the final product. In sum, you will never really understand what is driving people to their negative responses, which is why you should to at least try not placing so much stock in what other people think in the first place.

You have gotten some nice support on your thread thus far & I hope you are feeling a bit better about your decision to reset your ring! Please post several pictures when it is complete!

 

[february2003bride]

Date: 7/23/2008 1:35:35 PM
Author: HollyS
Why is everyone giving you grief? Simple human emotion . . . jealousy. It may not be expensive or huge, but you are getting ''what you want''. And they didn''t.

Enjoy the new setting without feeling guilty. Wear it with pride. You can flaunt all you want right here. We''ll let you.

If you want to know from jealousy, well, let me tell you a story. My ''best friend'', known to me for 27 yrs, I''m her child''s godmother -- get the picture? -- TOLD a mutual friend that my DH would never give me a ring. When I got the ring, she TOLD the friend that DH might have purchased the ring, but would never marry me. Envious? Much? The point is that people you thought you knew, and trusted, and loved, will disappoint you by being perfectly human in their pettiness. Even your mom.

(My DH, in response to hearing about her lack of happiness for us, gave me a sapphire and diamond band for Valentine''s Day because he knows that sapphires are her favorite stone. He wanted to give her jealousy a little nudge! That was his ''perfectly human'' pettiness showing!!

)

Holly, I have to respectfully disgree on that it boils down to jealousy. Granted, there are women who are jealous when ANY woman gets something nicer than them (my SIL is the perfect example. She has major jealousy issues towards all women) but from what I''ve seen, as a chronic setting changer-er

is that most women simply don''t care or don''t want to spend the money on ring(s) when there is so many other things to pay for. They''re given their ring(s) by their husbands, some love them, some like them, some hate them, but it wouldn''t occur to them to change it. How many women get their wedding ring put on their finger and then never take it off to even clean it? I see almost daily engagement rings in dire need of a cleaning! So, if it never occurs to them to get their rings cleaned, it''s certainly not going to occur to them to change their setting and/or upgrade.

My point is, it absolutely doesn''t always mean jealousy. I''m sorry your friend did that though, and she clearly has maturity issues.

 

[geckodani]

Diamond*Dana - I too am so delighted that with PS! Thanks for the encouragement.

Cachette- I''m not sure DH truly understands it either. But - "If it makes you happy, go for it. Happy Dani good." He''s cool that way. And it really is fun to reset - just the process of looking was a BLAST!

gemgirl - "Do what makes your heart dance." That''s an awesome sentiment! Thank you!

vespergirl - Too funny that no one noticed for that long! I check out my family''s jewelry all the time, LOL!

HollyS- So glad to know I can flaunt all I want here.

I luvs it. That''s awesome with your husband and the sapphires! Go him!

fieryred33143- It''s funny, I was talking to my mom on my lunch about something totally unrelated and she asked about the ring. I told her how much it cost, sent her pictures and suddenly she''s all excited, LOL! She''s a jewelry nut too and was apparently just worried I was going to spend $$$ we didn''t have. Now she''s happy for me.

Pyramid - The rest of the world doesn''t know what they are missing!

Julesbeth - LMAO about your MIL. In hindsight, might have been the way to go. Although, DH is actually the one that told her, in response to a "What''s new with you?" query. Silly man.

 

[AdiS]

Why should you wear "a ring you don''t like for 15 years" when you have the desire and opportunity to get something else, something new that would make you happy? You''re not disturbing anyone, they shouldn''t be disturbing you either. Just don''t mind what people say, go for it! I''m always excited when someone is getting a new piece of jewellery or resetting an old one. I''m really happy for you!

 

[omieluv]

Date: 7/23/2008 2:06:10 PM
Author: geckodani

fieryred33143- It's funny, I was talking to my mom on my lunch about something totally unrelated and she asked about the ring. I told her how much it cost, sent her pictures and suddenly she's all excited, LOL! She's a jewelry nut too and was apparently just worried I was going to spend $$$ we didn't have. Now she's happy for me.

As I read your initial description of your mother's reaction, I was wondering whether cost was a factor in her eyes. Though cost should not have been a factor in the first place, mothers worry about stuff like that, so there is not much we can do about it. I am glad the both of you were able to talk things out and it is nice that she is happy for you now. Did you know she was a jewelry nut prior to your discussion? You should introduce her to PS...heh.

 

[geckodani]

Thanks AdiS! I love the fire in your avatar!

omieluv- I''m glad too. I was initially surprised because we go and drool on jewelry together all the time, LOL. Your screen name cracks me up too.

 

[geckodani]

Date: 7/23/2008 2:14:57 PM
Author: omieluv

Date: 7/23/2008 2:06:10 PM
Author: geckodani

fieryred33143- It''s funny, I was talking to my mom on my lunch about something totally unrelated and she asked about the ring. I told her how much it cost, sent her pictures and suddenly she''s all excited, LOL! She''s a jewelry nut too and was apparently just worried I was going to spend $$$ we didn''t have. Now she''s happy for me.

As I read your initial description of your mother''s reaction, I was wondering whether cost was a factor in her eyes. Though cost should not have been a factor in the first place, mothers worry about stuff like that, so there is not much we can do about it. I am glad the both of you were able to talk things out and it is nice that she is happy for you now. Did you know she was a jewelry nut prior to your discussion? You should introduce her to PS...heh.

This would require her learning to use the internet, LOL! I just got her proficient in Windows and Word. Well, functional anyway. Maybe in the future.... I did know she was a jewelry nut, that''s where I got it from, which is why I found her initial reaction odd.

 

[omieluv]

Date: 7/23/2008 2:20:47 PM
Author: geckodani
This would require her learning to use the internet, LOL! I just got her proficient in Windows and Word. Well, functional anyway. Maybe in the future.... I did know she was a jewelry nut, that's where I got it from, which is why I found her initial reaction odd.

All you would have to do is show her this website and she will be motivated to learn to use the Internet!

My screen name is rather silly. Omie is the name of my cat and I love her...quite honestly, I really could not think of anything better.

 

[geckodani]

I was pronouncing it Oh-me-love. Like, "Oh me love the pretties!" LOL

And you might be right about my mom.... I may have to try it!

 

[omieluv]

LOL about my screen name!! Perhaps we can spin it that way when I get my pretty!

 

[geckodani]

I''m sure we can.