Peeking at your ering before the proposal?

[idreamofcushions]

Would it ruin the surprise for you or make you more excited for what's coming?

I have to admit something...

I HAVE BEEN TRYING ON MY ERING EVERYDAY FOR THE LAST 2 WEEKS!!! I AM A SERIAL PEEKER!!!

OMG, that felt so good to get out. I really, truly tried to resist

but the temptation was too great

It went down like this...

BF picked up ring from the jeweler two weekends ago. He didn't want to show me until he proposed because he wanted the "final product" to be a surprise (I picked the diamond and setting, but had the jeweler change the head so I didn't know how it all turned out). I always get home from work about a half hour before him, plenty of time for snooping

. So on that Monday, I open the box halfway, am overwhelmed with guilt when I catch sight of one prong, quickly close the box and pretend it never happened.

The following day...I try the same thing, just a quick peek of the prong. But I swear to God my hands acted of there own accord - they popped that box wide open! I figured well, since I ruined the surprise, may as well take it all the way. That's when I put it on my finger

I've been doing this everyday since. I now even put it on in the morning while I get ready for work (it looks so pretty while I iron!) I can't stop myself!

Of course now I feel horribly guilty because I will have to act completely surprised when BF does finally propose. Plus in some ways I feel like I ruined the moment. In other ways, I'm like "well heck, what did he expect? He should've hid it better"

So I guess now I'm wondering if peeking does indeed ruin the proposal. Anyone want to share their experiences?

 

[iioeo]

OMG I would SO PEEK if it wasn''t locked up in our safe!! BF knows I can never remember the combination, so he knew it was safe in there!! I would totally sneak looks and wearings if I had access to it!

As for the surprise, I think that you will be so overwhelmed with excitement and surprise from the proposal you won''t even need to worry about ''faking it'' for the ring!

 

[Feralpenchant]

LOL! SERIAL PEEKER!!

Ahh. Well, I have been SOLELY in charge of my entire e-ring, from diamond, to setting, to making the phone calls, to researching, EVERYTHING!!

So, I already know what I''m going to get. In fact, I have had my diamond since about the 22nd of April. I stare at it all day! In a way, that''s kind of like peeking, right? I love Asschers

It''s getting ready to be sent to JA to be set, and then it''s out of my hands as soon as I ship it, I don''t get to see it again until he proposes.

Unless I find it and peek, right Idreamofcusions?

Sometimes I do think that me having so much control over my e-ring will ruin the surprise of the proposal, but my SO is pretty crafty, so I don''t know. I''m sure I''ll still be surprised, and it''s still a HUGE moment regardless of whether I know what the ring looks like, so it will still be special and I know I''ll still cry LOL!

 

[Lauren8211]

It would ruin it for me AND him if I peeked.

FF has told me time and time again that this is a big deal to him, and he doesn''t want me to see or know anything until the ring is on my finger. He''s trusting me to just let it happen, so I am.

If he didn''t care one way or the other, I still wouldn''t look because I want to be surprised. I want him to see the look on my face when I see the ring for the very first time when he''s proposing.

 

[sammyj]

I''m not a peeker at all and like elle, if I had peeked I would have felt like I had ruined the proposal for both of us.

From what my FI has told me, the diamond was in our place for around a month and after it was set it was in our place for a week or so before he decided it wasn''t the right setting and had it re-set (then he proposed right after picking up the re-set). He even revealed his hiding place after the fact and was quite proud that I never had a clue! Because I had no clue I never had the chance to develop an urge to snoop, but I''m not snooper so it would have just been a passing thought anyway.

So, I guess what I''m trying to say is: IDOC, I fully blame your BF for leaving the ring where you could find it and not even thinking to change its location! Unless you did some hardcore snooping and rummaged through every nook and cranny, then

. Do you really think he has no idea that you''ve seen it and tried it on? And, what the heck is he waiting for?!!??!

 

[happydreams]

I just responeded to another thread asking you about your pending proposal. I hope he does it soon! I do NOT blame you for peeking. When I knew it was coming within a few days, I had this urge to tear the place apart looking for it...but decided not to. However, had I known where it was, I would have done the same. Hopefully you are carefully whiping the ring after you play with it so he doesn''t notice!!
Lets keep our fingers crossed that it will be soon.

 

[happydreams]

correction: wiping, not whiping.

 

[NakedFinger]

AHHHH YOU STINKER!

I would have never peeked. We picked out the diamond, and designed the custom setting together. So while I kind of know what to expect, I have never seen the finished product complete. I must admit, I am proud of myself for my restraint. Especially because I brought over the final payment to the jeweler for my FF because his office is two blocks from my office. And when I got there, my jeweler said, "Let me get it from the back...". I was like "NNNOOO!!! IM NOT SEEING IT!". It was actually like a few feet away from me and it killed me not to look.

Now its been in our house for 3 weeks.....THREE WEEKS!!!! I am wreck, and am not going to pretend im not DYING to peek at it. But the way I see it, I want the first time I see that baby to be when he opens it, and presents it to me from down on one knee. Without seeing the final product, it will be seeing "the ring" for the first time, and that is my way of being suprised (as if he had bought it himself without me). To me, having some element of suspense/suprise on the ring was important. But if it doesnt matter to you (which doesnt seem like it would, since you tried the whole ring itself on in the store anyway correct?), then PEEK AWAY! LOL

 

[LostSapphire]

Date: 5/1/2009 4:14:12 PM
Author:idreamofcushions
Would it ruin the surprise for you or make you more excited for what''s coming?

I have to admit something...

I HAVE BEEN TRYING ON MY ERING EVERYDAY FOR THE LAST 2 WEEKS!!! I AM A SERIAL PEEKER!!!

OMG, that felt so good to get out. I really, truly tried to resist

but the temptation was too great

It went down like this...

BF picked up ring from the jeweler two weekends ago. He didn''t want to show me until he proposed because he wanted the ''final product'' to be a surprise (I picked the diamond and setting, but had the jeweler change the head so I didn''t know how it all turned out). I always get home from work about a half hour before him, plenty of time for snooping

. So on that Monday, I open the box halfway, am overwhelmed with guilt when I catch sight of one prong, quickly close the box and pretend it never happened.

The following day...I try the same thing, just a quick peek of the prong. But I swear to God my hands acted of there own accord - they popped that box wide open! I figured well, since I ruined the surprise, may as well take it all the way. That''s when I put it on my finger

I''ve been doing this everyday since. I now even put it on in the morning while I get ready for work (it looks so pretty while I iron!) I can''t stop myself!

Of course now I feel horribly guilty because I will have to act completely surprised when BF does finally propose. Plus in some ways I feel like I ruined the moment. In other ways, I''m like ''well heck, what did he expect? He should''ve hid it better''

So I guess now I''m wondering if peeking does indeed ruin the proposal. Anyone want to share their experiences?

Stop it. The story/justification/spin is cute but it is disrespectful to your boyfriend and his intentions.

Take a walk, get out of the house, take a drive, do whatever you need to do when the urge strikes you to peek again. But PLEASE don''t take away all of his joy with the presentation. This is the guys'' BIG MOMENT. You are minimizing how important it is to him for this to be a big surprise.

It''s not fair to blame him for not hiding it. You KNEW he wanted it to be a surprise. Put on your big girl panties and act like an adult. Leave it alone.

LS

 

[Keepingthefaith21]

Date: 5/1/2009 5:56:13 PM
Author: LostSapphire

Stop it. The story/justification/spin is cute but it is disrespectful to your boyfriend and his intentions.

Take a walk, get out of the house, take a drive, do whatever you need to do when the urge strikes you to peek again. But PLEASE don''t take away all of his joy with the presentation. This is the guys'' BIG MOMENT. You are minimizing how important it is to him for this to be a big surprise.

It''s not fair to blame him for not hiding it. You KNEW he wanted it to be a surprise. Put on your big girl panties and act like an adult. Leave it alone.

LS

Ditto! Just be patient and look forward to when you can wear it guilt free all of the time!

 

[Dreamgirl]

OOOOOH! You naugty naugty girl!

 

[idreamofcushions]

prettybaby: I''m happy to hear I''m not the only one who would peek unless the ring is kept under lock and key! And I think you''re right about being overwhelmed/ecstatic about the proposal as a whole regardless if I would''ve seen the ring or not.

Feralpenchant, we are two of a kind! I was also really involved in the process and I worry that I may have had too much control/say in it. But in the end, the proposal will be very much HIM. Like you said, it''ll be a major moment regardless. So you know I have an asscher too, right? Have you taken your baby outside in the sunlight yet? To me, that''s when it looks best!

elledizzy5/sammyj: What''s weird is that I have never in my entire life been a peeker. Honestly, I was the kid who told on my sister if she tried to look for hidden Christmas gifts! I guess rings are the one exception to the rule? When he first brought it home, he sat the gift bag on the foyer table. I couldn''t take the close proximity so I asked him to put it away. He moved it to the top of his desk. Trust me, I didn''t have go digging. Still wish I had had the restraint you girls did.

Thanks, happydreams. I hope it happens soon too! For a fact I know it''ll be in May. He said it''ll be before we go back to visit his family. We''re going the last week in May for his sister''s bridal shower. So it''ll definitely be before then!

Geez, NakedFinger, you have like super-human-self-restraint!

Wanna send some of that my way? lol

lostsapphire: I''m sorry that the impression you took from this is that I''m being "disrespectful" In all honestly *when* he finds out that I have peeked (because yes, I do plan on telling him...whether that''s before he proposes or after) I know that he''ll laugh with me. He knows me well enough that he''ll probably just say "ha! I knew you''d peek!" I don''t think I will be taking away his joy because the real joy will be that moment when he asks and I say yes, not his ability to surprise me. And I don''t "blame" him for not hiding it well enough. I was making a joke. I would never blame someone else for my own weakness, least of all someone I love and respect. I''m sorry if it came across that way. And I feel like telling me to "put on your big girl panties" is a little condescending.

But yes, girls. I am going to try very hard from here on out to put it out of my head! No more peaking! I''ll letcha know how that goes

 

[LostSapphire]

Date: 5/1/2009 7:06:52 PM
Author: idreamofcushions

lostsapphire: I''m sorry that the impression you took from this is that I''m being ''disrespectful'' In all honestly *when* he finds out that I have peeked (because yes, I do plan on telling him...whether that''s before he proposes or after) I know that he''ll laugh with me. He knows me well enough that he''ll probably just say ''ha! I knew you''d peek!'' I don''t think I will be taking away his joy because the real joy will be that moment when he asks and I say yes, not his ability to surprise me. And I don''t ''blame'' him for not hiding it well enough. I was making a joke. I would never blame someone else for my own weakness, least of all someone I love and respect. I''m sorry if it came across that way. And I feel like telling me to ''put on your big girl panties'' is a little condescending.

I.D.O.C:

I wrote what I did because of your original question/post:




BF picked up ring from the jeweler two weekends ago. He didn''t want to show me until he proposed because he wanted the "final product" to be a surprise (I picked the diamond and setting, but had the jeweler change the head so I didn''t know how it all turned out). I always get home from work about a half hour before him, plenty of time for snooping . So on that Monday, I open the box halfway, am overwhelmed with guilt when I catch sight of one prong, quickly close the box and pretend it never happened.

The following day...I try the same thing, just a quick peek of the prong. But I swear to God my hands acted of there own accord - they popped that box wide open! I figured well, since I ruined the surprise, may as well take it all the way. That''s when I put it on my finger

I''ve been doing this everyday since. I now even put it on in the morning while I get ready for work (it looks so pretty while I iron!) I can''t stop myself!

Of course now I feel horribly guilty because I will have to act completely surprised when BF does finally propose. Plus in some ways I feel like I ruined the moment. In other ways, I''m like "well heck, what did he expect? He should''ve hid it better"

So I guess now I''m wondering if peeking does indeed ruin the proposal. Anyone want to share their experiences?




If you think he''ll laugh with you, why are you expresing this guilt? You don''t think you''re taking away his joy of the surprise? You say otherwise yourself. Don''t ''blame'' him for not hiding it better? hmmm...maybe that''s light hearted, I''ll give you that one.

I told you to "put on your big girl panties" because by the behaviour you describe in your post,, you are acting like a child. You say you know he wants it to be a surprise, you say you feel guilty, you can''t stop yourself, you''ll have to act surprised, and you feel like you''ve ruined the moment...but you have been peeking and trying on the ring for 2 weeks now. Knowing what you know yet continuing in your behaviour is disrespectful.

On the other hand, it is unfair for him to put it out there in front of your nose, so I have to cut you some slack for that!

I totally get how excited you are. I really do, and appreciate that. But I am only mirroring back to you, what you were expressing yourself. You came off as someone who needed someone to tell them to stop it. And that''s what I did.

I am happy to see that you are going to try and put it out of your head. And I look forward to seeing the engagement pics after the joyous day!

And I wish you many, many years of health and happiness. Enjoy the anticipation of the moment. Enjoy his sheer joy at giving you such a wonderful gift. And have a wonderful time on the day you are engaged.

LS

 

[daydreamer]

I''m right with you on peaking. It''s part of the fun of the anticipation! Surprise only lasts a moment, the joy the both of you will feel ...

 

[purselover]

I''m not gonna lie I would do the exact same thing, but I would never tell him ......what he doesn''t know won''t hurt right?

 

[idreamofcushions]

Thank you, LS. I do see your point after I went through my original post. It''s so easy to be misunderstood on these forums sometimes, especially because nobody knows who you are and so personality can''t be taken into account. IRL, I usually feel guilty over the dumbest things. Any decision I make, I''m always second guessing myself. My ex-boss used to say "You must be up to no good because you always look so guilty". It''s just part of my many insecurities (I''m just happy SO loves me in spite of that!) But I do appreciate your words of advice...and will try my hardest to "stop it" lol

 

[LostSapphire]

Date: 5/1/2009 8:29:53 PM
Author: idreamofcushions
Thank you, LS. I do see your point after I went through my original post. It''s so easy to be misunderstood on these forums sometimes, especially because nobody knows who you are and so personality can''t be taken into account. IRL, I usually feel guilty over the dumbest things. Any decision I make, I''m always second guessing myself. My ex-boss used to say ''You must be up to no good because you always look so guilty''. It''s just part of my many insecurities (I''m just happy SO loves me in spite of that!) But I do appreciate your words of advice...and will try my hardest to ''stop it'' lol

You sound SO EXCITED!

And reading between your lines, so does HE!

What a wonderful time of your life. Enjoy the process.

Will check in for pics when you post them.

LS

 

[wishinpink]

Hey, don''t feel bad! We''re peeking twins!!! LOL

My boyfriend just can''t stop me!!! When I go visit him, I launch for the ring box WHEN HE''S IN THE ROOM and put the ring on my finger and dance around.

yea. what now. =D

Too bad I can''t access the ring now though =( I''m back at home now and he''s in the east coast.... hmph.

 

[Sunset_in_Cali]

Don''t beat yourself up about it. Vow to never peek again until the proposal, and tell him to hide it somewhere.

I don''t know what I would do if I knew where my ring was. But I could definitely see myself caving in and taking a peek. Then I suppose I would have to try the ring on, you know, to see if it fits.

Fortunately, I don''t think I''ll be put into that situation because my BF would never tell me if he even bought the ring.

That''s strange that your BF didn''t think to hide it. You can''t leave a ring box out in the open and expect a LIW to not peek. That''s like putting a glass of water by someone who''s dying of thirst in the desert and expecting them to not take a sip!

Sounds like you will get your proposal really, really soon! So just hold out for a little while longer, you can do it!

 

[happydreams]

I launch for the ring box WHEN HE''S IN THE ROOM and put the ring on my finger and dance around.

Date: 5/2/2009 12:36:02 AM
Author: rosebud10
Hey, don''t feel bad! We''re peeking twins!!! LOL

My boyfriend just can''t stop me!!! When I go visit him, I launch for the ring box WHEN HE''S IN THE ROOM and put the ring on my finger and dance around.

yea. what now. =D

Too bad I can''t access the ring now though =( I''m back at home now and he''s in the east coast.... hmph.

HILARIOUS!!!

 

[princesss]

I would totally ruin the surprise for me.

Now, to be honest, I hate surprises. I hate the anticipation of knowing he has my present and not knowing what it is (or, in this case, exactly how it looks). It would *kill* me if I helped design it and it was in the house and I couldn''t look at it. But if he wants it to be a surprise, I''d honour that. So birthday presents, Christmas presents, etc. make me *want* to peek, but I don''t.

And it SUCKS. But to me it''s like cheating on a diet. Yeah, it''d be great, but then it means I don''t get exactly the results I want.

Sometimes, though...I kind of wish I was the peeking kind. It just seems like so much fun!

 

[ckrickett]

see if I thought he had the ring I would peek, but if I didn''t like it I would be severely bummed out.
Now I told him I want him to propose w/out a ring if he wants to suprise me then we pick it out together. OR we pick it out together and he holds onto it and proposes whenever... the first will have more of an element of suprise, the second he proposes with a ring. I want a huge hand in picking out the ring because I''m retardedly picky about jewelry.
I''m really fine with either. But if we did get it before hand I would be wearing that sucker all the TIME when he wasn''t around.... so I completely UNDERSTAND!

 

[Izzy03]

Hmmm..... I think whether or not this will "ruin" the surprise is personal.

So, PERSONALLY, the surprise for me would have been ruined if I even knew that my fiance had the ring. But if I did know he had it, I think peeking at it would definitely take away from the the excitement.

But hey, if it doesn't kill the excitement for you, no biggie! Just don't let him know you play dress up with it!!!!

ETA: Nevermind, just saw that you plan on telling him

 

[idreamofcushions]

Date: 5/2/2009 11:17:24 AM
Author: Izzy03
Hmmm..... I think whether or not this will ''ruin'' the surprise is personal.


So, PERSONALLY, the surprise for me would have been ruined if I even knew that my fiance had the ring. But if I did know he had it, I think peeking at it would definitely take away from the the excitement.


But hey, if it doesn''t kill the excitement for you, no biggie! Just don''t let him know you play dress up with it!!!!


ETA: Nevermind, just saw that you plan on telling him

Yeah, actually I told him last night. He rolled his eyes and said "well, I guess I should''ve hidden it better" then it was "have you ever tried to look for any birthday/christmas gifts?" to which I said "no, but I''ve never wanted anything so badly before!" Then after staying quiet for a little while he smirks and says "well, what did you think?!" lol

I did, however, promise him no more peeking. Hopefully he won''t wait much longer!

 

[princesss]

Date: 5/2/2009 11:34:00 AM
Author: idreamofcushions

Date: 5/2/2009 11:17:24 AM

Author: Izzy03

Hmmm..... I think whether or not this will ''ruin'' the surprise is personal.



So, PERSONALLY, the surprise for me would have been ruined if I even knew that my fiance had the ring. But if I did know he had it, I think peeking at it would definitely take away from the the excitement.



But hey, if it doesn''t kill the excitement for you, no biggie! Just don''t let him know you play dress up with it!!!!



ETA: Nevermind, just saw that you plan on telling him

Yeah, actually I told him last night. He rolled his eyes and said ''well, I guess I should''ve hidden it better'' then it was ''have you ever tried to look for any birthday/christmas gifts?'' to which I said ''no, but I''ve never wanted anything so badly before!'' Then after staying quiet for a little while he smirks and says ''well, what did you think?!'' lol


I did, however, promise him no more peeking. Hopefully he won''t wait much longer!

*Dust dust dust* for a proposal coming up soon!

 

[wishinpink]

Date: 5/2/2009 8:44:21 AM
Author: happydreams
I launch for the ring box WHEN HE''S IN THE ROOM and put the ring on my finger and dance around.

Date: 5/2/2009 12:36:02 AM

Author: rosebud10

Hey, don''t feel bad! We''re peeking twins!!! LOL


My boyfriend just can''t stop me!!! When I go visit him, I launch for the ring box WHEN HE''S IN THE ROOM and put the ring on my finger and dance around.


yea. what now. =D


Too bad I can''t access the ring now though =( I''m back at home now and he''s in the east coast.... hmph.

HILARIOUS!!!

yea.. my bf just shakes his head and says... Can you at least put the ring on a DIFFERENT finger for now? lol! =D

 

[bee*]

I picked my ering out with D but when we got back to Dublin he wanted to keep it until he proposed. He forgot to take it back the night that we got home and so I managed to get the ribbon off the Tiffany box by sliding it to the side and I tried on my ring, put it back in the box and then slid the ribbon back on. He was none the wiser

 

[Rhea]

Great response from your bf!! It doesn''t sound like he really minded your snooping...and he knows you love the ring! Hopefully it''ll happen for you soon.

 

[b.anna]

first off, i''m really happy to read that others were as involved in picking their engagement rings as i was!!! i was feeling awful at one point, even crying at the jeweler b/c i thought this is so unromantic, does he really care, etc. but the reality i learned through this forum and talking to my FF is that it''s something that i''ll have for the rest of my life, and sometimes life circumstances force you to step in.

in reply to this thread, i think as long as you''ve promised not to peek again and you keep your word until he proposes, then great!!! i think it''s almost a relief to know what you''re going to get (since it is your ring and it will be yours forever!) and be so excited about it the way you are. plus you''re FF laughed it off with you, so at least he didn''t find it disrespectful and he didn''t get upset. now to keep the no peeking promise!

i''m very excited for both of you! can''t wait to see it on your hand officially!!

 

[Squirrly]

i know i''d be curious if i knew where to find the ring and i don''t know if i''d be able to control myself in that situation, but i felt so bad after accidentally finding out when he''s planning on proposing i don''t want to know what i''d feel like if i found a ring!