Paging New Yorkers

[Harriet]

Do your friends and family treat your apartment as a hotel?

 

[Miranda]

Dear Harriet,
I''m coming to New York and I''ll be needing a place to stay.......

Too many guests lately? I feel your pain!

 

[Bia]

Hell.to.the.YES!

Bia Plaza...nice accommodations and free, free, FREE!

 

[surfgirl]

Harriet, thanks for the reminder...Can I please get a confirmation for my dates and can you make sure I''m in a guest room without any pet hair because I''m very allergic. Thanks so much!

 

[curlygirl]

They used to...until we had a baby! Now I think they all get it because I don''t think they want to be on duty so they never ask about staying over!!! Harriet, you may want to try it out--it scares people away. I''ll let you borrow my kid if you need her!!

 

[Harriet]

Thanks for the laugh, all of you. Curlygirl, I'd take you up on your offer, but I'd have no idea what to do with a baby.

My future in-laws are the culprits. After their precious younger son slept on our sofa for more than a month, DF and I came to a no-guest agreement. That was a few years ago. Guess what? Mr. Precious Wecious is back in town freelancing (won't get a full-time job because he's waiting for his dream one -- 4 years after college). Mommy and Daddy called us and said that we were being selfish, blah blah blah. The worst part? Mommy said "I wasn't brought up to be selfish, nor was DF." I replied "Are you saying that I was?" No attempt at denial on her part. We have a 2-bedder, but the 2nd room is used as an office. Argh.

ETA: Mommy had the temerity to say that they didn't ask to crash during our wedding!

 

[Madam Bijoux]

Nobody can take advantage of you unless you let them. In the immortal words of Nancy Reagan: "Just say no".

 

[purrfectpear]

I''d like the Labor Day Weekend please. Be sure and remember to stock up on croissants, and oh...you don''t mind if I bring my dog do you?

 

[Harriet]

Date: 7/11/2008 8:39:24 AM
Author: Madam Bijoux
Nobody can take advantage of you unless you let them. In the immortal words of Nancy Reagan: ''Just say no''.

Good one.

 

[Harriet]

Nice try, purr.

Sorry for having 2 threads going. I should have titled this one differenly to begin with.

 

[meresal]

Harriet... you will be happy to know, that even though C's parents pay a few grand a month for his sisters 1 bdrm apt in the T Towers; when we visit at the end of this month, only his bro will be staying there, and C and I have offered to stay at a hotel down the street a bit.

Luckily for us, that decision came with a free upgrade from his mom, to stay on the concierge level. Yay, free food, happy hour, and a WHOLE bed and bathroom to ourselves!!


What if you started offering incentive packages for NOT staying at your place?!?!

 

[Harriet]

Good on you!
What disincentive packages can I offer? You''d think having to share a bathroom with 2 dogs would be enough.

 

[meresal]

Date: 7/11/2008 12:23:24 PM
Author: Harriet
Good on you!
What disincentive packages can I offer? You''d think having to share a bathroom with 2 dogs would be enough.

What if you staged a robbery right in front of your door??

Scare them away.

 

[Harriet]

That may not be legal, though.

 

[FrekeChild]

What if I get you a DELUXE air mattress? Can I stay with you then?

 

[Harriet]

Only if you keep me happy with Ispahans.

 

[FrekeChild]

DEAL!!!

I can teach you a little bit about how to cook/bake too...

 

[Harriet]

I hate being in the kitchen. I even dislike plating delivery food!

 

[FrekeChild]

Lol. You plate delivery food? You''ve got that one on me!

 

[Harriet]

Not when I''m alone.

 

[jewelerman]

I see my family so infrequently that its a real pleasure to have them stay over when they travel...gives us a chance to talk and eat...talk and eat...until early in the morning...i have a few close friends that we get together and have late night movie marathons or barbaques and they always have the guest room ready for me.

 

[scarlet16]

As Ms. Harriet knows from my complaints during lunch, my itty-bitty 525 sq. ft. apartment is definitely constantly a hotel. In fact, despite my currently studying for the bar, my in-laws are staying with us for the weekend. I love them dearly but 4 people in here is JUST SIMPLY not enough space! But honestly, how do you say no?

 

[Bliss]

Yes! We love it actually when immediate family members come to visit. But if cousins get thrown into the mix, they stay in hotels because they want to, thankfully. NYC is pretty complex to newcomers so it's not like we can let *some* of them run loose - some of them are older so they'd pretty much expect us to handle everything: meals & entertainment. LOL. But thankfully most of our cousins WANT to stay in hotels, so they just call and say they're going to be in town and ask if we can get together on X date.

There was a situation in which my mother (who lives very well in a big house) had a cousin come live with her for 6 months! He was essentially helpless and his parents sent him away to live with my mom because he had girl problems back home. They were like, "Here, take him off our hands!" It was a huge burden for her to bear. So that was a big lesson learned. No more shipping relatives off to live with my mom. What is she, a country club?

 

[elle_chris]

Date: 7/10/2008 8:44:20 AM
Author:Harriet
Do your friends and family treat your apartment as a hotel?

Yes. We don''t mind though. When family comes to visit we set a limit of no more than 2 weeks. Friends are more understanding and never stay for more than a few days.

Before my husband and I were married, his sister came to visit for 3 weeks. It turned into a 5 month stay. We set the two week rule after that and now, enjoy it when his family visits. Mine lives here so that''s not an issue

 

[Harriet]

Date: 7/12/2008 12:22:55 PM
Author: jewelerman
I see my family so infrequently that its a real pleasure to have them stay over when they travel...gives us a chance to talk and eat...talk and eat...until early in the morning...i have a few close friends that we get together and have late night movie marathons or barbaques and they always have the guest room ready for me.

Wait a minute! Are you in NY?

 

[Harriet]

Date: 7/12/2008 1:27:35 PM
Author: scarlet16
As Ms. Harriet knows from my complaints during lunch, my itty-bitty 525 sq. ft. apartment is definitely constantly a hotel. In fact, despite my currently studying for the bar, my in-laws are staying with us for the weekend. I love them dearly but 4 people in here is JUST SIMPLY not enough space! But honestly, how do you say no?

How is the weekend going?

 

[Harriet]

Date: 7/12/2008 2:18:04 PM
Author: Bliss
Yes! We love it actually when immediate family members come to visit. But if cousins get thrown into the mix, they stay in hotels because they want to, thankfully. NYC is pretty complex to newcomers so it''s not like we can let *some* of them run loose - some of them are older so they''d pretty much expect us to handle everything: meals & entertainment. LOL. But thankfully most of our cousins WANT to stay in hotels, so they just call and say they''re going to be in town and ask if we can get together on X date.

There was a situation in which my mother (who lives very well in a big house) had a cousin come live with her for 6 months! He was essentially helpless and his parents sent him away to live with my mom because he had girl problems back home. They were like, ''Here, take him off our hands!'' It was a huge burden for her to bear. So that was a big lesson learned. No more shipping relatives off to live with my mom. What is she, a country club?

Unbelievable!

 

[missy]

Hi Harriet,

We live in NYC and ironically no people don't want to stay with us here but we also have a house at the Jersey Shore and yes, they used to treat it like a hotel!

For years my husband's family (brother, sister in law, their kids and mil) would stay for 10 days in the summer and just use all our towels (beach and shower) and at the end of their stay dump all their laundry for us to do and leave! And, I must add, they were not particularly nice to me. Well, I put a stop to that 2 years ago due to their rude and obnoxious behavior and now they rent a house if they come to visit. Or I should say my dh's mother rents the house and the crew comes and stays there. If they had been nicer to me it would have been a different story but because my sil is such a witch and my mil (though a bit better now since Greg explained to her years ago when we were just dating that I was in his life for good so if she wanted to be a part of our life she had to be respectful to me) is also not a joy to be around I refuse to be their hotel.

So, since then I feel much much better

and in fact, his other brother and sister in law (who are nicer) are coming down to the shore this weekend and part of next week and will be staying with his mother (she only lives about 40 min away from our shore house anyway) and will be spenidng some time with us at the shore. But not staying over at our house as his mother always insists on being wherever the visiting family is. We can never get time alone with them

Anyway, I don't mind having people stay over for short periods of time as long as they are nice and don't treat us as their personal slaves but for the most part it is much easier with the in laws and extended family for them to get a hotel LOL. And they certainly can afford it so there really is no reason for them to stay with us. Much less stressful this way and better for our health

.

Best wishes,
Melissa

PS I just want to add that I understand it may be hard to say no when you love the family and they love you(lucky you!) but if it starts to be too stressful you need to take that under consideration because it can impact negatively on the relationship with the family. Just a thought. Otherwise, if you love having them there and enjoy the visit and time they spend with you it's a win win situation. I am just responding re the question when people start treating your home as a hotel

. And that will never be OK in my home again

.

 

[swimmer]

.

 

[swimmer]

I''m guilty of using my sister''s apt as a hotel. Not that I abuse her or anything, I leave it way cleaner than I find it. But I figure, we shared a womb for nine months, why not her apt? Families have different perceptions of space and that is fine. It is so hard when blending those differences though...