Overwhelmed by gifts?

[Octavia]

Did anyone else feel this way? DH and I have just started opening our gifts and got about 1/3 of the way through tonight...and we''re completely overwhelmed. Both by the generosity of our families and friends, and by the sheer amount of presents. I have no idea where we''re going to put stuff! We want to get thank-yous out as fast as possible, but we don''t have enough cards right now! It just feels like too much, even though we know everything was given with love, and I feel guilty for asking for all of this on our registries. Are we the only ones?

 

[elrohwen]

We got money almost exclusively (we did a honeymoon registry) and I was amazed with how generous some of our friends were! We only got maybe 5 gifts and I already don''t know what to do with them. One is a set of bakeware and while I like it and it compliments what I already own, I have no where to put it! So it looks like it''ll be sent to the basement

So I''m very very glad that we didn''t register for anything because I wouldn''t know what to do with everything.

 

[wannaBMrsH]

We were also overwhelmed by how generous everyone was. Even now that it''s been 2 months, we are STILL receiving presents!

I say that it is a beautiful problem to have and while I put SOME items into storage, I did replace some of the older stuff. Most recently I had an aunt who didn''t attend send us a gift for cookware and we used it to buy all new stainless steel pots and pans with lids and we donated all the old, mis-matched items to a local shelter.

I was also thrilled with a couple of gift cards to Home Depot from a few of his friends! We are using that to replace all the brass fixtures in our common areas first!

Congratulations on your marriage and don''t feel guilty. I think to how many gifts I''ve given my friends over the years, and while I know it''s not tit-for-tat, I recognize that it comes from the heart and that they want to celebrate with us. Congratulations again and may you use everything in great health!

 

[MakingTheGrade]

We were overwhelmed, but it was kind of one sided, haha.

Marriage is a very big deal in China, and it's customary to give EXORBITANT gifts. So my side of family and their friends, most of whom couldn't attend the wedding in the US, gave us a crazy amount of money/stuff. I think the lowest monetary gift from my side was more than the largest gift from his side. They also bought out 90% of all our registry 3 weeks before the wedding, leaving our actual guests almost no registry options. Eek!

My husband took it pretty calmly given how proud he is, but one of my cousins gave us so much that he just can't accept it, so we're giving back 80% of it as a baby shower gift when she and her hubby get pregnant, haha.

At times it felt weird since I haven't talked to some of these family friends in years, and some of them weren't even invited to the wedding! But the best I can do is graciously accept it and send them a heart felt Thank You!

 

[musey]

Date: 10/14/2009 12:15:11 AM
Author: SanDiegoLady
Not even remotely. I think they figured because we had been together a few years that we had everything.. wow that couldnt have been further from the truth!! We both started out together with literally nothing and had built some but golly there was a lot we needed as a couple.

It was about the same for us - a bit more ironic in our situation as we were only 23/24 and barely starting out in the world! Most of our guests gave very modest amounts, and about 1/3 in attendance did not give gifts (I count a card as a gift).

We were a bit relieved as we both have guilt issues surrounding gifts

but it was a bit interesting to notice the differences between our guests'' choices, the "norm" and what we tend to do ourselves.

 

[iheartscience]

I'm not a guilty gift receiver so I had no problem on that end!

I don't know, I give generous gifts myself so I didn't mind getting them. I was pretty blown away by a couple of the checks we got, but it was from family so it wasn't really awkward or strange to me. Plus I just think that when people are starting their life together you should be generous if you can afford to be. I like some traditions, and that's one of them! I'm sure your family and friends just want to help you start your life together and you shouldn't feel guilty about it at all!

It really blows my mind when people don't give gifts to a couple for their wedding...and I was honestly sort of hurt by a few of the people who didn't give my husband and me a wedding gift. (So SDL and musey, I am offended on your behalf whether you want me to be or not!)

We were closing on our house a month after our wedding so we just kept all the gifts in the bags and boxes and unpacked them when we took it to our new house. The timing worked out perfectly in that respect. My husband kept wanting to use all the nice new stuff in the old apartment but I wouldn't let him because I wanted it to be fresh and new for our new house!

As far as thank you notes, I was definitely overwhelmed, but I split it up so that my husband wrote the thank you notes to his family and friends and I wrote them to mine. I have a HUGE family so I had to write a lot more than him, but I spread it out and tried to do 10-20 a night for about a week and a half or so. And one thing that made me calm down about it was remembering that most of the gifts are from a couple so you only have to write one note to them!

 

[KatyWI]

Definitely not. Some people were very generous, but we found like Musey that about 1/3 of the people who came didn''t gift us, either (also including cards). We didn''t even get a gift or a card from HIS MOTHER. Granted, we know she doesn''t have a lot of money, but it would have been nice to get a card!!!

At any rate, we''re just grateful for the gifts we DID receive. I hope to finish my thank yous this week... wish me luck!

 

[Haven]

I didn''t feel guilty about the gifts we were given, though I did overwhelmed by the love and affection that our nearest and dearest showered on us around the time of our wedding, but in a good way.

As a gift giver, I get tremendous pleasure out of doing something for someone I care for, so I suppose I just assume that gifts for me come from the same place.

 

[redfaerythinker]

Date: 10/15/2009 12:15:52 AM
Author: musey

Date: 10/14/2009 12:15:11 AM

Author: SanDiegoLady

Not even remotely. I think they figured because we had been together a few years that we had everything.. wow that couldnt have been further from the truth!! We both started out together with literally nothing and had built some but golly there was a lot we needed as a couple.

It was about the same for us - a bit more ironic in our situation as we were only 23/24 and barely starting out in the world! Most of our guests gave very modest amounts, and about 1/3 in attendance did not give gifts (I count a card as a gift).


We were a bit relieved as we both have guilt issues surrounding gifts

but it was a bit interesting to notice the differences between our guests'' choices, the ''norm'' and what we tend to do ourselves.

This is one thing that Fi and I are a bit worried about. We''re just starting out in life (just getting out of school) and we don''t have a lot. We also come from really cheap families, and our guest list is only 30 people. Now we''re going to be exceedingly grateful for all gifts that we get... but on the other hand, we need the stuff.

lol. Here''s hoping that we have guests as generous as some of you ladies!

 

[Skippy123]

Date: 10/13/2009 10:26:52 PM
Author:Octavia
Did anyone else feel this way? DH and I have just started opening our gifts and got about 1/3 of the way through tonight...and we're completely overwhelmed. Both by the generosity of our families and friends, and by the sheer amount of presents. I have no idea where we're going to put stuff! We want to get thank-yous out as fast as possible, but we don't have enough cards right now! It just feels like too much, even though we know everything was given with love, and I feel guilty for asking for all of this on our registries. Are we the only ones?

You know what?! I felt the same exact way; I felt guilt but then I thought it was so sweet and generous of the friends and family and I was grateful for what they gave. I guess it is natural to feel that way as people don't have to give gifts that their attendance is a gift for being there for you, so I hear you. Also they gave you a gift they wanted to give you so don't feel guilty.

 

[Octavia]

Thanks for the stories, everyone! Now that things have calmed down, we''ve got everything opened and mostly put away, and are all set to start on thank-yous, it seems less overwhelming. Maybe part of it was leftover fatigue from the wedding, too, and wishing we''d had more time to spend with each of the people who came. It made me uneasy to have spent so little time with each person (although the reception was only a few hours long, so there''s not much more we could have done about it!) and then to open such wonderful and generous gifts from them. I know that''s just how it goes, but I guess I wasn''t fully prepared for it. I''m sure I''ll feel much better once all of our thank-you''s have been mailed, too!