merbear1215
Rough_Rock
- Joined
- Apr 14, 2010
- Messages
- 70
Hi Ladies,
I have posted a bit about this in Ladies in Waiting (mainly because I didn't know BWW existed, though it probably belongs here).
My fiance's mom.....you can check Ladies in Waiting for details of all her madness but suffice it to say, I really do believe she has a mental illness. Fiance trys to spend as little time with her as possible, never takes her calls, etc. In addition, she is VERY religious (Pentacostal, and I am Jewish).
Early on in the process of our wedding planning, we agreed to have a Jewish wedding ceremony but I told F that I was willing to do an interfaith ceremony, but ONLY ONLY if he found the other officiate. I would do it, but he had to make the effort. He said it wasn't that important to him. So Jewish it is.
I get an email from her a few weeks ago that said "we are planning a Christian ceremony to go along with your Jewish one." I was completely thrown by this, naturally. Talked to SO, he knew nothing about it. Not sure how you arrange a ceremony for a bride and groom that know nothing about it, but ok. In addition, they are not contributing ONE cent to our wedding and have NEVER been supportive. I asked SO to talk to his Mom about it. He told her she could not plan something without telling us, etc. Thought we were in the clear.
Last week, get another email about the Christian ceremony she is planning. The step-dad has become an ordained minister and he would be doing our ceremony. WHAT?? First, we aren't getting married twice, if anything he can co-officiate, but NO. We talked about this....if SO wanted it, HE would have organized it. SO calls her again, says "no, we are not doing that" I can here her insisting that I am the one making this decision. So then she wants to talk to me. I reiterate to her that ALL ALONG I have said, for SO, I would do it, becuase he is my husband and I would do it if it mattered to him. BUT THAT IS IT. Then she said how his family and friends who are coming are Christian (ok??) and that it would only take 10 minutes (I explained that it was not about the length of time, but the concept of having two different ceremonies, etc).
We got off the phone after going around in circles for a bit. Then today, I get an email from her. No greetings or salutations, simply a link to the NY times article titled "Interfaith Marriages Stir Conflicting Feelings."
AAAHHH, Ladies, I am losing my patience!! Not only do we have different faiths, but we are also different races. We are going to face some challenges, I get that. Just too bad that someone closest to us is making it most difficult. I wrote her back and asked what I am supposed to take from the article....she says " Just reminds me how powerful "love" is!!"
I feel she is a little manipulative and that was NOT at all her intent when sending the article.
HOW DO I HANDLE THIS!!
I have posted a bit about this in Ladies in Waiting (mainly because I didn't know BWW existed, though it probably belongs here).
My fiance's mom.....you can check Ladies in Waiting for details of all her madness but suffice it to say, I really do believe she has a mental illness. Fiance trys to spend as little time with her as possible, never takes her calls, etc. In addition, she is VERY religious (Pentacostal, and I am Jewish).
Early on in the process of our wedding planning, we agreed to have a Jewish wedding ceremony but I told F that I was willing to do an interfaith ceremony, but ONLY ONLY if he found the other officiate. I would do it, but he had to make the effort. He said it wasn't that important to him. So Jewish it is.
I get an email from her a few weeks ago that said "we are planning a Christian ceremony to go along with your Jewish one." I was completely thrown by this, naturally. Talked to SO, he knew nothing about it. Not sure how you arrange a ceremony for a bride and groom that know nothing about it, but ok. In addition, they are not contributing ONE cent to our wedding and have NEVER been supportive. I asked SO to talk to his Mom about it. He told her she could not plan something without telling us, etc. Thought we were in the clear.
Last week, get another email about the Christian ceremony she is planning. The step-dad has become an ordained minister and he would be doing our ceremony. WHAT?? First, we aren't getting married twice, if anything he can co-officiate, but NO. We talked about this....if SO wanted it, HE would have organized it. SO calls her again, says "no, we are not doing that" I can here her insisting that I am the one making this decision. So then she wants to talk to me. I reiterate to her that ALL ALONG I have said, for SO, I would do it, becuase he is my husband and I would do it if it mattered to him. BUT THAT IS IT. Then she said how his family and friends who are coming are Christian (ok??) and that it would only take 10 minutes (I explained that it was not about the length of time, but the concept of having two different ceremonies, etc).
We got off the phone after going around in circles for a bit. Then today, I get an email from her. No greetings or salutations, simply a link to the NY times article titled "Interfaith Marriages Stir Conflicting Feelings."
AAAHHH, Ladies, I am losing my patience!! Not only do we have different faiths, but we are also different races. We are going to face some challenges, I get that. Just too bad that someone closest to us is making it most difficult. I wrote her back and asked what I am supposed to take from the article....she says " Just reminds me how powerful "love" is!!"
I feel she is a little manipulative and that was NOT at all her intent when sending the article.
HOW DO I HANDLE THIS!!