- Joined
- Apr 26, 2007
- Messages
- 8,087
I just read an article about the irony of a campaign aimed at bolstering girls self-worth, inspired by statistics claiming that huge numbers of pre-adolescents were dieting and self-hating and whatnot, being focused *on an aesthetic quality.*
Look, I'm not beautiful. And I am SO GLAD to be able to say that on a forum where nobody knows how I look: IRL, or even on any of my related-to-real-life blogs, if I say that, I get the well-intentioned ego-bolstering statements which actually serve no purpose other than to keep women valuing the goal, buying the face cream, committing to the facelift.
I have a great big Jewish nose (which I love, but which I am aware society does not) and eyebrows that I can't be bothered to pluck, and I don't bother with foundation or powder or even skin cream. I DO love bright lipstick and eyeliner and I feel like the day a sales associate introduced me to eyebrow powder and a shading brush changed my life, because one of the things society think is grossest about me is the one i like the most. In a more eloquent age, I would have been called a "handsome" woman, and I am GOOD with that.
It's like "fat." It's not a value judgment. It's a descriptor. It does not obviate beauty: it specifies its nature. But apparently that potential for diversity is really off-putting (or, at least, that is my best guess). I really wish we could change that.
I know that I have some "pretty privilege" in being white-ish (social observation, not in the slightest way, shape, or form personal opinion ... I tend to go in the opposite direction aesthetically, if anything) and having a relatively slender body even if it's curvy, etc. (and DITTO), but I still flinch a little and feel like I'm failing peoples's expectations when they say that "I'm beautiful *just the way I am*." It always sounds like, "good ENOUGH." I hate that this is the message we're promulgating to the next generation. I think we should be prioritizing other skill sets ... "You're driven the way you are," "you're ambitious the way you are," "you're *going to succeed the way you are*"....
. ... just me?
Look, I'm not beautiful. And I am SO GLAD to be able to say that on a forum where nobody knows how I look: IRL, or even on any of my related-to-real-life blogs, if I say that, I get the well-intentioned ego-bolstering statements which actually serve no purpose other than to keep women valuing the goal, buying the face cream, committing to the facelift.
I have a great big Jewish nose (which I love, but which I am aware society does not) and eyebrows that I can't be bothered to pluck, and I don't bother with foundation or powder or even skin cream. I DO love bright lipstick and eyeliner and I feel like the day a sales associate introduced me to eyebrow powder and a shading brush changed my life, because one of the things society think is grossest about me is the one i like the most. In a more eloquent age, I would have been called a "handsome" woman, and I am GOOD with that.
It's like "fat." It's not a value judgment. It's a descriptor. It does not obviate beauty: it specifies its nature. But apparently that potential for diversity is really off-putting (or, at least, that is my best guess). I really wish we could change that.
I know that I have some "pretty privilege" in being white-ish (social observation, not in the slightest way, shape, or form personal opinion ... I tend to go in the opposite direction aesthetically, if anything) and having a relatively slender body even if it's curvy, etc. (and DITTO), but I still flinch a little and feel like I'm failing peoples's expectations when they say that "I'm beautiful *just the way I am*." It always sounds like, "good ENOUGH." I hate that this is the message we're promulgating to the next generation. I think we should be prioritizing other skill sets ... "You're driven the way you are," "you're ambitious the way you are," "you're *going to succeed the way you are*"....
. ... just me?