Now it's my turn to freak out over something medical. Need a sounding board and some support svp

[Mreader]

I am freaking out. Really freaking out. I already have generalized anxiety already and so it’s through the roof rn. My DH told me on Sat that he has been experiencing chest pains that go to his left arm when he runs. Has been happening for a few weeks and he just now told me!!!! He runs about 1-2 miles every other day so not a major athlete or anything but he’s pretty healthy guy 49 not overweight. He does have to be on a cholesterol med which he’s been on for quite a while; and just a few months ago started a BP med bc BP was creeping up. He’s on a very low dose. Blood work in Oct was normal.

So he tells me this on Saturday and I freak and want to go to ER. He says he’s only feeling it when running not at rest and to calm down and he will see his doc Monday (today). He has family history of heart disease – dad and grandma. They were heavy smokers and sedentary unlike him. Dad had triple bypass surgery. He never did quit smoking though (or drinking not did he begin exercises) and he died of a stroke though 10-12 years later.

So I suffer through the weekend and today we see the doc (relatively new within the last year DH has been seeing him) and the doc says some things that are just really upsetting. Such as “wow this is so unusual – it’s like that story of the Caucasian guy in his 40s who one day just dies of a heart attack”.

He orders the tests like the EKG Echo and Stress Test. More blood work. Referral to a cardiologist. I am really stressed out because he said that sometimes the tests can be a wait and I am like I NEED TO KNOW RIGHT NOW SO I NEED TO GET THESE TESTS DONE NOW. I am so scared everyone. So so scared. Tomorrow he goes for blood work and will get the ball rolling for scheduling and I just hope it can be done fast. My mind is going to all the worse case scenarios and I cannot eat or think of anything else.

To make matters worse, we are supposed to do our scheduled work in Europe in late May and my mind is spinning with the repercussions of that if we have to cancel. Again this makes me mad for DH not explaining sooner what was going on; tests could have already been done. He says he guesses he was in denial or wondering if the pain was normal (running is hard and it sucks) and realized it kept happening so it wasn't.

One of the last things the doc said was “if you have any pain just go to the ER – better to pay an ER bill than a funeral bill”. Um Seriously wtf like I am already terrified why pile it on??!!

Please forum, someone say something to make me feel better because I am just a wreck. I look at my 8 year old boy and just want to crumple to the floor and cry.

Thoughts outgoing to others who are struggling rn because I know I am not the only one.

 

[MissGotRocks]

I am sorry this has come up and sorry that you are feeling so panicked. The good news is that everyone is now aware of a potential problem that can be checked out before anything serious happens. Don’t hesitate to use the ER if he has symptoms again.
Hopefully, his doctor will stat the referral to the cardiologist. He might have been just trying to emphasize the importance of getting this done but his words could have been a bit kinder. I would call the cardiologist’s office too and stress the importance of him being checked out.
There is so much that can be done in the world of cardiology today, so try to catch your breath and hold on to hope. He is ok today and he has been through these symptoms. That is very encouraging! I understand and sympathize with your panic and hope that you both get some old answers quickly. He may need your strength too at this point so just love him and hold him close! Whenever we project too far into the future, it can become really scary. Just muster up your courage and tell yourself we have to take this one day at a time. Meanwhile, we are here to lean on so keep us posted and feel free to vent anytime. Hugs!!

 

[sweetpea&babycorn]

Hi @Mreader im so sorry you’re going through this stressful time.

Also, wow. I know PCPs can be hard to find but I recommend your DH find a new one ASAP. What kind of sick humor is this doctor throwing around when you are so anxious?!?

Anyway, back to your husband - while he does have a family history, it seems to be more related to lifestyle than genetics and the fact that your DH is living the opposite lifestyle is a protective factor, as well as the recent normal bloodwork. If it’s been weeks and only with exertion, I think the likelihood of him dying of a massive heart attack is low. HOWEVER, men (no offense to the XY sex) do tend to downplay their symptoms and if your husband cares at all for you, he will agree to listen to his body and go to the ER if he has another bout of chest pain. If not for him, then for you and your son.

Also, I am the type of person who has to DO something to feel effective. And so if you can be proactive in getting that cardiology appointment and those test set up sooner, the faster you’ll get answers. Control what you can control and keep an open line of communication with your husband.

Cardiovascular care today has come a long way with medications and interventions. We know that the earlier it is treated, the more favorable the outcome. Have that difficult conversation with him and let is ALL out because he may not see it the way you do.

We are here for you and sending big hugs! I hope you and your DH get reassuring work up results!

 

[Karl_K]

Prayers outgoing!
Sounds like if there is anything they are catching it early.
Doctors tend to freak out over chest pain but there are a lot of things that can cause it. Some very serious some less so. Catching them early there are a lot of effective treatments.

 

[ItsMainelyYou]

I hate the squeeze of uncertainty too. Let me give you a better squeeze instead.
I have seen miracles with cardiovascular intervention and that gives me a ton of hope. I have a good feeling that this can effectively treated, if it even needs to be.
Medicine has been rocketing in advancements.
The idi-yot. Not that I can say much as I'm sure you've read.
Thankfully, he has you, and that's a boon in itself. It's going to be okay.

 

[Kim N]

I'm sorry you're so stressed, Mreader. Sending you hugs and good wishes that anything he has will be treatable.

 

[PinkAndBlueBling]

I'm sorry @Mreader that you are going through this scary, frustrating uncertainty and worry. I hope your hubby is OK! Mine almost died a few years ago, was on life support, etc. but modern medicine is amazing! Technology and medicine can do incredible things! That said, are you in an HMO, or can you just go to a cardiologist? I know you'll keep on top of it - be proactive, don't wait for a thing! That includes your husband - if he winces, off he goes!

I'm sending good wishes and warm hugs to you. You will get through it. Don't go visiting Dr. Google tonight. He's a troublemaker.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

something our GP told us when Gary was going through heart trouble
heart medicine is moving ahead in leaps and bounds

and i 2nd that stay off Dr google

 

[LilAlex]

I'm sorry you are dealing with this. Not medical advice but could be lots of things so need not be cardiac At worst this sounds like fairly stable exertional angina (weeks) which is bread-and-butter and there are terrific interventional and medical options. Did anyone discourage your husband from provoking this further (with running) prior to evaluation? Maybe not a bad idea. I don't know what country you are in but there will be a standard diagnostic workup. He has some risk factors. He's smart to seek out care. Worsening of the symptoms -- provoked with lesser exertion or pain at rest -- should mean a trip to the ER, imo. This warrants attention but not panic. Easy for me to say, I know.

 

[Mreader]

I'm sorry you are dealing with this. Not medical advice but could be lots of things so need not be cardiac At worst this sounds like fairly stable exertional angina (weeks) which is bread-and-butter and there are terrific interventional and medical options. Did anyone discourage your husband from provoking this further (with running) prior to evaluation? Maybe not a bad idea. I don't know what country you are in but there will be a standard diagnostic workup. He has some risk factors. He's smart to seek out care. Worsening of the symptoms -- provoked with lesser exertion or pain at rest -- should mean a trip to the ER, imo. This warrants attention but not panic. Easy for me to say, I know.

We are in US. And yes the doc said to walk not run. I appreciate your words of meriting attention but not panic. Trying to look at it that way.

ETA - I don’t understand the “bread and butter” expression…

 

[Mreader]

I'm sorry @Mreader that you are going through this scary, frustrating uncertainty and worry. I hope your hubby is OK! Mine almost died a few years ago, was on life support, etc. but modern medicine is amazing! Technology and medicine can do incredible things! That said, are you in an HMO, or can you just go to a cardiologist? I know you'll keep on top of it - be proactive, don't wait for a thing! That includes your husband - if he winces, off he goes!

I'm sending good wishes and warm hugs to you. You will get through it. Don't go visiting Dr. Google tonight. He's a troublemaker.

We are PPO and I’m calling cardiologist today. For some dumb reason even though my insurance technically doesn’t need referral for one, the office does it what the doc said. Still going to call. Our visit yesterday to PCP was at 4:30pm so all was closed when we left.

 

[Mreader]

I hate the squeeze of uncertainty too. Let me give you a better squeeze instead.
I have seen miracles with cardiovascular intervention and that gives me a ton of hope. I have a good feeling that this can effectively treated, if it even needs to be.
Medicine has been rocketing in advancements.
The idi-yot. Not that I can say much as I'm sure you've read.
Thankfully, he has you, and that's a boon in itself. It's going to be okay.

I read what you wrote on Nala’s page so sending squeezes back.

 

[Mreader]

Prayers outgoing!
Sounds like if there is anything they are catching it early.
Doctors tend to freak out over chest pain but there are a lot of things that can cause it. Some very serious some less so. Catching them early there are a lot of effective treatments.

Thank you Karl

 

[Mreader]

Hi @Mreader im so sorry you’re going through this stressful time.

Also, wow. I know PCPs can be hard to find but I recommend your DH find a new one ASAP. What kind of sick humor is this doctor throwing around when you are so anxious?!?

Anyway, back to your husband - while he does have a family history, it seems to be more related to lifestyle than genetics and the fact that your DH is living the opposite lifestyle is a protective factor, as well as the recent normal bloodwork. If it’s been weeks and only with exertion, I think the likelihood of him dying of a massive heart attack is low. HOWEVER, men (no offense to the XY sex) do tend to downplay their symptoms and if your husband cares at all for you, he will agree to listen to his body and go to the ER if he has another bout of chest pain. If not for him, then for you and your son.

Also, I am the type of person who has to DO something to feel effective. And so if you can be proactive in getting that cardiology appointment and those test set up sooner, the faster you’ll get answers. Control what you can control and keep an open line of communication with your husband.

Cardiovascular care today has come a long way with medications and interventions. We know that the earlier it is treated, the more favorable the outcome. Have that difficult conversation with him and let is ALL out because he may not see it the way you do.

We are here for you and sending big hugs! I hope you and your DH get reassuring work up results!

Thanks you! DH is taking it seriously now and wants all the tests. He is nervous too. Just handles it way better than I do. I feel and bc he’s the “patient” and I’m the one melting down.

 

[Mreader]

I am sorry this has come up and sorry that you are feeling so panicked. The good news is that everyone is now aware of a potential problem that can be checked out before anything serious happens. Don’t hesitate to use the ER if he has symptoms again.
Hopefully, his doctor will stat the referral to the cardiologist. He might have been just trying to emphasize the importance of getting this done but his words could have been a bit kinder. I would call the cardiologist’s office too and stress the importance of him being checked out.
There is so much that can be done in the world of cardiology today, so try to catch your breath and hold on to hope. He is ok today and he has been through these symptoms. That is very encouraging! I understand and sympathize with your panic and hope that you both get some old answers quickly. He may need your strength too at this point so just love him and hold him close! Whenever we project too far into the future, it can become really scary. Just muster up your courage and tell yourself we have to take this one day at a time. Meanwhile, we are here to lean on so keep us posted and feel free to vent anytime. Hugs!!

Thanks you so much

 

[dk168]

Winging some dust your way!

DK

 

[Lisa Loves Shiny]

I'm sorry you and your hubby are experiencing this. It's very frightening made worse by the delay in getting answers. I think it's very promising that you are both getting the ball rolling now and your husband can make activity modifications until you know for sure what is going on. On the plus size the EKG would have shown if your husband was having a heart attack and can show if there has been a previous MI. Since there was no alarm at the time of the EKG, you are probably looking at something that might not be concerning, or something that can be treated. Has the doctor recommended aspirin at all? Sending prayers and good thoughts your way.

 

[Avondale]

Your doctor's bedside manner leaves a lot to be desired. Talking about people dropping dead and funerals? There are better ways to imprint on a patient they have to be careful and proactive.

So let's focus on the things that matter.
1. Your husband is in good health in general and keeps on top of his hereditary heart issues.
2. He experiences symptoms only during significant exertion.
3. He is going to see a cardiologist soon.
4. He is going to have the necessary tests done soon.

Chances are, you'll find out what this is in time to get it addressed and treated. Take away all the death talk your doctor gave, and you're left with the important part - your husband should take it easy as a precaution and should get this looked at, without ignoring it any further. And this is what's already happening, so this is what you need to focus on.

 

[tyty333]

@Mreader I cant help with the medical side but in situations like this I can reduce my anxiety by having a plan and doing
what needs to be done. (BTW, I usually have one good cry to get rid of my anxiety. The shower is a good place for a cry. After that,
its down to business)

Take comfort in

1) You are doing what needs to be done (you've got the ball rolling by seeing the Doc.)
2) The Drs. are ordering the test (most results dont take long in my area but YMMV)
3) You have a backup plan in the meantime (head to the ER if he feels any pain)

When the Drs get the results, they will most likely have a plan of action for your DH.

Remember, for now, you are doing all the things you should be doing. Try to take comfort in that
they will get to the bottom of it soon. Big Hugs in the meantime.

Edit...I see @Avondale has posted pretty much what I'm saying but going to post this message too

 

[Mreader]

I'm sorry you and your hubby are experiencing this. It's very frightening made worse by the delay in getting answers. I think it's very promising that you are both getting the ball rolling now and your husband can make activity modifications until you know for sure what is going on. On the plus size the EKG would have shown if your husband was having a heart attack and can show if there has been a previous MI. Since there was no alarm at the time of the EKG, you are probably looking at something that might not be concerning, or something that can be treated. Has the doctor recommended aspirin at all? Sending prayers and good thoughts your way.

He has not had an EKG. All we have is an order for one which we are trying to schedule. And a referral to a cardiologist and an order for an echo and a stress test. All these orders not yet scheduled that’s why I’m so anxious because I want to hurry up and get those first tests done

 

[YadaYadaYada]

I haven’t read the other responses but he needs a new doctor, the things this doctor has said in a time of stress are not helpful and not comforting. I don’t have any medical advice but sending you a big hug and prayers.

Seriously though, dump that doctor.

 

[missy]

@Mreader I am so sorry and I’d feel exactly the same way. In fact I’ve experienced similar circumstances with my dh. Because he’s stoic and doesn’t complain so when he eventually does I know it’s trouble. That’s not to say this is a definite issue. But absolutely must be evaluated. And I am pissed they didn’t run an ekg or do labs yesterday. What the heck are they waiting for. Find a dr who’ll run these tests immediately. Sending you big hugs and well wishes for your dh. You’re smart to take action. Listen to your gut. Hopefully it’s nothing but better to evaluate now to be sure. (((Hugs)))

 

[qubitasaurus]

It sounds a little like your husband was very lackadaisical about this -- taking weeks to decide if he was potentially experiencing symptoms or discus them. So maybe the doctor tried to impress upon him how very important it was for him to follow through immediately with a specialist. Lol sounds like terrible bedside manner, but if this was the intention he might not be a bad doctor for your husband.

I think you should buy your husband a smart watch with a good heart rate tracker immediately and make him wear it all the time -- if he has any heavy exertion like climbing stairs does his heart rate spike (not that he should be allowed to do anything too intense atm)?

I've seen two lots of heart issues in my immediate family in recent years and in both cases the cardiologist needed more data. They couldn't tell how regular the issues were from just conducting one EKG. Or if there were sudden spikes in severity or precursory indicators before an event. They put people through stress tests to try to retrigger the irregular patterns -- but still even that only gave them a small cross section through what 'normalcy was for that person'. In the end in both cases they made some kind of educated guess as to what was going on -- and im not even sure if in either case the guess was actually correct (although both cases were electrical signal problems and i think that made it hard to really know). Id get a good sports watch with heart rate monitor now and actually pay attention to it and see if it helped me answer questions when asked.

Also if needed can buy defibrillators for at home if truly needed. This definitely seems like an over reaction currently though.

 

[Lisa Loves Shiny]

He has not had an EKG. All we have is an order for one which we are trying to schedule. And a referral to a cardiologist and an order for an echo and a stress test. All these orders not yet scheduled that’s why I’m so anxious because I want to hurry up and get those first tests done

Oh I am sorry I misread your post. Hugs.

 

[Mreader]

It sounds a little like your husband was very lackadaisical about this -- taking weeks to decide if he was potentially experiencing symptoms or discus them. So maybe the doctor tried to impress upon him how very important it was for him to follow through immediately with a specialist. Lol sounds like terrible bedside manner, but if this was the intention he might not be a bad doctor for your husband.

I think you should buy your husband a smart watch with a good heart rate tracker immediately and make him wear it all the time -- if he has any heavy exertion like climbing stairs does his heart rate spike (not that he should be allowed to do anything too intense atm)?

He actually does have a fitbit with the heart feature and has run that test on it and the tests come out normal. And there have not been any alerts and he wears it 24/7

And yes I am very upset that he did not say this sooner because not only for the obvious health issue, but for our work abroad. We would have a clearer picture now rather than later. I'm trying to let go of that (not doing a great job atm).

 

[Mreader]

@Mreader I am so sorry and I’d feel exactly the same way. In fact I’ve experienced similar circumstances with my dh. Because he’s stoic and doesn’t complain so when he eventually does I know it’s trouble. That’s not to say this is a definite issue. But absolutely must be evaluated. And I am pissed they didn’t run an ekg or do labs yesterday. What the heck are they waiting for. Find a dr who’ll run these tests immediately. Sending you big hugs and well wishes for your dh. You’re smart to take action. Listen to your gut. Hopefully it’s nothing but better to evaluate now to be sure. (((Hugs)))

We were at the office until 5pm and the office doesn't have a machine for EKG nor labs - it's off site. So he got labs this morning.

The good news is that his EKG Echo and Stress test I was able to schedule for TOMORROW thank goodness. When I called the cardiologist that he was referred to they told me they were scheduling appts late April early May - are you kidding me. But at least these tests are being done tomorrow so then if there is an issue I think he will be seen sooner (hopefully).

 

[Inked]

OK, so i have no idea if this will help. I want you to take this super seriously and i am SO GLAD he's getting all these tests for his heart, because that is the most important thing - GET ALL THE TESTS!!! Absolutely make sure his heart is ok.

Now, for what i dont know if this will help. I have many neck/back/hip issues from years of weight training and running. When I run, my right arm goes numb and i have pain due to the stuff thats wrong with my neck and hip. My right pinky and ring finger are usually SUPER numb for several hours after. So, absolutely do ALL the heart tests but try not to panic, because it could just be nerve issues in the neck like i have.

Your husband is SO LUCKY to have you to make sure he is on top of this and checking and pushing him to look at it NOW.

Please keep us posted!!

 

[PinkAndBlueBling]

I am not excusing the doctor's choice of words, but I have been with many families who have lost loved ones because they either ignored their symptoms, or were going to go to the doctor "tomorrow."
I am surprised he couldn't run a quick EKG in his office. Can you check on other cardiologists who can see him sooner? Sometimes the referral doctor isn't even the best choice. I know how frustrating all of this is, so sending good jujus to you!

 

[Mreader]

I am not excusing the doctor's choice of words, but I have been with many families who have lost loved ones because they either ignored their symptoms, or were going to go to the doctor "tomorrow."
I am surprised he couldn't run a quick EKG in his office. Can you check on other cardiologists who can see him sooner? Sometimes the referral doctor isn't even the best choice. I know how frustrating all of this is, so sending good jujus to you!

He has all the tests scheduled for tomorrow. So fingers crossed.

 

[LightBright]

He has not had an EKG. All we have is an order for one which we are trying to schedule. And a referral to a cardiologist and an order for an echo and a stress test. All these orders not yet scheduled that’s why I’m so anxious because I want to hurry up and get those first tests done

EDIT - i see your husband will get a workup tomorrow and I am happy that is happening. If you can get labs results today, I hope they ran D-dimer, and you can have them tell you what the results mean. I hope they are all good. Hugs.
——————————————————
I’m not a medical expert, but it seems like your husband’s PCP is not taking this seriously enough. I don’t want to alarm you, but I would not wait on a scheduler to to obtain a basic heart workup.

I wonder if you could get the tests done sooner if you go to an ER. Like, for example, D-dimer, EKG/heart workup could be done at an ER.

People go to the ER for anything nowadays (when I was a new mother I took my one year old for symptoms that turned out to be resolvable with Tylenol). Your husband is entitled to urgent care more than many. His actual symptoms are something he should work up sooner than later. I would have no shame just walking right in there and getting at least the very basic heart workup done. Also, and at a minimum, your PCP should be calling a cardiologist directly, on your husband’s behalf, to get your husband seen ASAP. Versus waiting on a scheduler to “maybe get around to it”.

I am not an expert, I just think in this case, your PCP is not doing their darn job. If I were you, I would demand more.

I hope this turns out to be nothing, and I wish your husband perfect health.