Now I really did it :((

[Calliecake]

Missy,

I forgot to ask you if you think they are expecting you to return to work soon? Do you think the surgeon would even release you to go back to work?

 

[LLJsmom]

LLJsmom,

I am so so sorry, I took your post entirely the wrong way and thought you were joking. Now I see you are really feeling bad. Is there anything I can do to help you? Hugs

Hi Callie, I didn't think you took it the wrong way. It's no prob. really. I didn't think anything of it. I think it is good for a person on the outside to help me see it a little more clearly. I just ate another two chocolate chip cookies. ***sigh*** I will stop tonight. Tomorrow is new day. I have a choice each time. I will make better ones next time. I will.

 

[missy]

Good morning girls!

LLJsmom, I missed you (as did everyone here) and welcome back! I am glad your kids had a wonderful time and sorry you had some difficult days but I totally understand and it sounds like you did have fun too despite that. I get it and we all do. Please don't be so hard on yourself. Allow yourself to feel your feelings and try not to be critical of yourself. You are such a lovely and amazing person and I am sending you big hugs. I hope the book Kristie recommended can provide some relief. Believe me I know how dark days feel and my heart goes out to you. Welcome back and hang in there. Days are getting longer and that's always a good thing. (((HUGS))).

I am with you 100% on the exercise too. It was torture for the over 14 plus weeks I could not workout and am so glad to be back on the elliptical and now treadmill and Reformer. Though I do have a love hate relationship with it as it takes up so much time because I am doing super long (3 hours!) workouts. I am looking forward to the day I can go back to just my "normal" 90 minute workout LOL. But I am so grateful to be working out at all.

I completely get what you wrote when you said you were afraid to take risks because that could prevent you from working out if you got injured. Yup 100% agree. Funny (weird funny not haha funny) though because I am so risk adverse and look what happened to me...freak accident for sure. That's one of the reasons I don't ski anymore. I am a klutz and did not want to break my leg...joke's on me I guess.

I hope you wake up this morning migraine free and feeling good!


(Oh and in case you didn't get my email...we just got back to NY yesterday and ummm THANK YOU! Though my healthy eating habits don't thank you lol. But OMG you really went overboard and all I can say is )

Callie, I am able to go back to work for sure I think. No way the surgeon won't clear me. I can get around just fine. Sure I am very stiff and limp for a while everytime I get up from a seated or laying position but from my understanding that might be forever. I just don't feel mentally ready and part of that (a large part) has to do with my skin being so bad. I just cannot do it right now. I am also feeling guilty (wasted emotion I know) for not pulling my weight so to speak as I have not been working for over 6 months now and it is affecting our future. I cannot put money into my SEP 401K or other retirement vehicles and our income is down also as a result of me not working.

So our whole retirement plan will be altered if I continue to not work but honestly after all I have been through (and still feel I am going through) I almost don't care. Not to sound dark but I don't know (who does) what the future holds and I almost feel like I don't want to focus on that because I don't know how many todays I have left. Oh that does sound dark, sorry.

Of course it is not fair to Greg one little bit but he is too sweet, kind, loving and generous to say anything about me getting off my butt and getting back to work. He just tells me it is OK but I feel it is not and yet I can detach myself from that feeling and just not care if that makes sense because it still a challenging time and when I go back to those most awful days of the summer when I was just recovering well I don't want to deal with any more extra stress right now and not sure I will ever feel up to it. How is that for selfish behavior. I am embarrassed at how I feel but still sharing it here with you guys because I think you will understand.

Callie, please get the flu shot soon. I know it is far from a perfect match and did not get exactly the right strains but it will provide some much needed protection so please get it and make sure Jeff gets it too!


Marcy, your new snow boots sound beautiful. I love pink. I hope you don't need to test them out in 25 below temperatures though! If it gets that cold you need to come here and we can have some fun and maybe this is a good time to consider your surgery...wintertime as the weather is too cold for outside so recuperating inside is best done now and not in the nice weather.

How great that both you and Marty taught astronomy and run a club and that you put publish a monthly newsletter. The problem where we live is there are so many ambient lights we would have to travel to get to the place where we could actually see and enjoy the stars. Even at the beach house we are directly across from the Manhattan skyline with all the lights so it is never completely dark and ideal for star viewing. I really love astronomy though and it would be worth it to travel just to do some star gazing.

Thanks for the cucumber recipe...looks delicious! I will let you know when I try it.


Kristie, while I love the idea of a GTG I am hesitant to commit to any place or dates right now. Though I have to say if you guys are willing to do a NYC or other local area GTG I would make sure I was there no matter what. I just never enjoyed traveling and especially now with the way my health is I cannot promise I will ever travel again. I feel too vulnerable in many ways. So sorry because believe me I would LOVE to meet you all in person. So this no way reflects how I feel about you guys I just physically and emotionally do not want to travel and not sure if I ever will want to again.

Having said that, if any of you come here you are more than welcome to stay with us at our beach house (30 minutes from Manhattan via ferry) and we would love to be your host. No kidding. That includes cooking and baking so there's some incentive I hope haha. In fact we could do a GTG at the beach house and have no problem getting to the diamond district at all. Think about it...once the weather gets warmer...there is a lot to do here so nobody would be bored or hungry I promise!

Ovi, I hope you had a good night and are feeling better this morning. I missed our morning coffee together sorry! I had a difficult night so didn't fall asleep till very very late and actually slept until 7AM this morning NY time so for me that's like the middle of the day haha. Hope you are OK and please check in with us when you are up to it. (((Hugs))).

 

[Sunstorm]

Hi Girls,

Wow, lots of great posts, I got a late start today because again I went to bed very late, I will address everything and everyone or try at least. You are all so kind, thanks Callie, I sure wish we all lived together, we have been talking over that with Missy too. Then we could definitely have GTGs whenever someone needed the support or just because, whether we are down or feeling good. LLJsmom you are most kind to let me know it was ok to vent, the last week has just really been too much for me I think, I am reflecting a lot on my life and while with my mom things are ok for now I know she will not change but most the time she is so loving, yet 1 % of the time she strikes out at me like she is crazy. When I was in the hospital two years ago she hurt me badly, I think it happens because she gets a nervous breakdown of some sort when she sees me suffering and instead of being able to support me, she strikes out at me, whom she does not want to suffer. It sure is awful though when you need help the most but honestly knowing my family I am used to it, she still is better than my dad who did not want to know about my being ill, did not help, she is a well-known doctor in Hungary and everyone knew who I was because of my name and yet my doctors kept waiting when he would call, he never did, he did not tell my brothers about my being ill and they told me afterwards that they would have come to visit. So, my mom is at least there but the way she behaves the docs were shocked and told me well I am surprised how normal you are, with a family like this you are bound to have some issues. I am doing ok though and have been making peace a bit with my dad, he surprisingly at least called me both at Xmas and NYE, shock, shock.)

Depression, you know I am wondering if most women suffer from some sort of anxiety/depression, I can be just like what you are describing LLJsmom. Many of us have said similar things here. Ok so they divide depression into two kinds; functional when caused by events that trigger it and it is expected too, this can happen with post traumas, I had this kind several times and they were the most debilitating forms-. There is also generalized depression when you do not really know what caused it but you are feeling down, this can also be due to hormonal changes in women, I do believe we have this as most of us are either pre, during or post menopause here. I think this is even worse because you cannot explain what is wrong with you and why it is happening and think you should not feel this way and must be abnormal. Sadly it is very normal and as we can see we can all go through it. I have to say that I do not really believe in medication for depression, tried it, did not really help, made me more anxious then stopped it. Anxiety I had to deal with and minimal dose extended Xanax has been a life saver for me in those situations and it does actually help with depression too.

This thing with my husband, well, he will never change, I doubt that he wants to, I just made a very bad choice and decision in my opinion. I could still be living in the capital where I would be near so many places, fun things to do and have some friends too, maybe Stella would still be here had I not gone away a couple times looking for a job in Vienna. That said I do remember Budapest was not the end and be all either and how lonely I could feel there too. It is just that I feel that I would be free to be happy and at least be able to form a relationship that could be supportive and a great friendship as this one surely is not; it is like having the worst spoiled 5 year old with a temper and financial problems. You would think after how much I helped him and so did my mom actually, he would be grateful because now I could really use going on a trip or shopping instead of supporting him and it was his irresponsible decisions that led here. It appears that he almost takes it for granted as his parents have always done this for him and I must be a substitute, so this is why I am very seriously considering divorce and have been for almost a year, pretty sure it will happen sooner or later just so hard living in a failed relationship like it has been said here and waiting is hard that I have to figure out the how to-s. Now, I may go back to denial at times but I really have high doubts that this marriage will work out. That is ok I have to think of my life with an open mind.

Ok now enough depressive talk, not sure why I got into it, hope you do not mind.)

Now onto you guys, LLJsmom are you ok now? This inn sounds like it really sucks, I cannot remember now which one it must be, I probably would not know even though I have been to Tahoe quite a few times. You know skiing has such atmosphere here in Europe, the inns are really beautiful, clean, cozy, I love it, in Austria there are gorgeous inns with awesome food, you cannot beat them, in winter cold weather and big snow they really have an unparalelled atmosphere. You do not even have to go there for skiing, one time I was at one for a cat show in the area. Nowadays I would be imagining skiing like I would sit down with you girls for coffees, hang out, etc. I did ski and I was not afraid and I did suffer several fractures and other injuries, skiing is a pretty dangerous sport but I guess all could be a bit. I wish you could have had a nicer place and enjoyed yourself, I hate places like this, dirty and such where you cannot even have a good time. I wish you had been able to find another one.

Now onto some positive subjects, yeah I sure wish you guys would want a GTG in Vienna) Vienna is so gorgeous and wonderful for shopping too, actually all of Austria is beautiful, so many different things to do and different places, not to mention all the antiques and auctions. Budapest too is beautiful. Winter is the best time to visit Vienna somehow everyone does in winter, also many jewelry events closeby But I have to be realistic and know that I will likely have to go and see you guys in the US, not that it bothers me but depending on the time of the year I can get a bit busy too but we will organize something for sure as I want to meet you all, that I do know for sure. I sure wish we lived closeby but there is nothing we can do about this. It is unfortunate that the best people I meet are almost always abroad and often in the US, if I could have only lived there still. Ok, I have to be fair as I met very nice people in Hungary and Austria and have a few really good friends here but many of my friends are still in the US.

I wrote this post hours ago and missed our morning coffee Missy because an old friend I had not talked to in a year or two called and we were on the phone for almost three hours, then my mom called and another couple of hours went by, got nothing accomplished during this time. But if felt great. Right now my mom is nice and back to very supportive, I do not understand why she has to go through these awful fits misdirected at me sometimes. Anyhow, I hope that I will see my friend soon, we used to have a great time together, we always lived in different places but would come and visit each other and spend a few days together.

Ok, now I forgot stuff and likely missed addressing some people and things but will go back and look soon, in the meantime tomorrow I will be very busy preparing for bringing my mom here on Tuesday as I know how overly picky she is about organization and cleanliness. Already working on some of that.

How is everyone doing? Lots of hugs sent your way and hope we will talk soon.

 

[Sunstorm]

I am so mad at myself for having forgot certain things, hard to keep it in one post and also see that you posted Missy so will respond to that separately.

Callie, yes that darn anxiety, like they always say is worst at night when I think our subconscious surfaces and we allow it by trying to relax and then those who are prone get depression in the morning so many of us end up with little sleep sometimes which in turn can make us feel worse but hopefully then we can sleep better at night. Have you been ok lately being able to sleep?

Kristie I cannot believe that I forgot to ask you if you are better now, it sounds like the bug only hit you for one day I hope. I had this stomach virus that I had for two weeks afterwards with unexpected throwing up at work and antibiotics took care of that. You are absolutely right about anxiety and depression going hand in hand. That is what happened to me although I still primarily have anxiety but have had both. There are better periods and worse periods. In my opinion and experience antidepressants do not work, the one I took helped it some but caused worse anxiety and believe it or not a terrible urge to shop! ) Then your body gets used to them and you need more and more so off I went, no side effects after years of taking it, only they made me lose so much weight that I knew I would gain after I stop them, so my mom is not really fair as I told her, well, I stop it this will happen I know. Antianxiety meds OTOH do work but you have to be extremely careful as some can have the opposite effect and some you cannot mix with alcolhol, the best ones are also extended release. Of course my dad being the psych drug specialist would say that everyone needs at least five types of antidepressants.

The PS GTG is an option we could consider, it would be tons of fun with a jewelry show together. But then we would need to throw our separate party too titled "Missy's friends", ok just kidding, we would not exclude anyone. Still another GTG with only you guys would be awesome too.

LLJsmom I did write to you in my previous post but your post reminds me of how human we are, you see I pictured you as someone who is always happy and positive but your post reminded me of reality that none of us are always happy and having a cheerful mood, we can all have our times when we are down, even the strongest, most positive person! Sometimes I felt so bad posting negativity when being down, I still feel badly about it at times as I am normally knows as a very strong person and my friends all come to me for advice, noone ever thinks I can be down, only very few that truly know me. Even with our moments of lows, we are not less strong at all, these times makes us only stronger IMHO. And sorry that I did not send you my address, now the holidays are over but with the crisis situation here I think I lost track of so many things, it was not intentional, hope you know that.

Callie you are incredibly warm hearted and feeling towards everyone, a great person and I am sure not a single person on this thread took what you said the wrong way, we never would and we are not here to judge anyone anyhow. We are here to share the good times, the trials and tribulations as well.

Marcy I am so worried about you still, you sound good but I can tell you are still not well, you are just incredibly strong. Yes, echinacea does work wonders, helped give me two years with no upper respiratory and miraculously I am not allergic to it. I know some cannot take it, my mom because of her autoimmune disease cannot take any immune stimulants. Please keep us posted about your condition and what are you doing this weekend? Resting, shopping or have to work? Are you taking some time off work next week or you think you can work? I am worried you know I used to always work when sick and then got bronchitis at least.

Junebug how are you our friend?

Missy, hope what I am going to say will not come out wrong. I stopped working twice during my life, both times I was extremely scared of going back and in fact did not want to. You feel that you are not ready, not sure what it is exactly, both times I did eventually go back and at the end it was the best decision. Not only did I realize how much I loved it but that I needed it, my moods were much better, I felt a lot more active and a lot less down in general. It had the best effect on me. Perhaps it would be worth giving it a shot because as much as you think you are not capable of it, you may really surprise yourself. I think you are much stronger than you think you are. I know the skin issue is holding you back but perhaps it would be possible to cover it some and really on pix it did not scare me though I know it is very bad but other people definitely do not think anything negative of you because of it or that you are less good looking. I know I do not. I have other thoughts about the skin problems but really I need to send this post after writing it for a long time.

Hugs to you dear friends and hope everyone is well or better and if not please come here for support.

 

[LLJsmom]

Ovi, thanks for thinking I'm not that crazy. I mean, I know I'm crazy. I ran 6 marathons. Me and all my marathon running friends have fully accepted that we are cray-cray. You seriously have to be to put yourself through that much torture, repeatedly. But normal crazy, if you know what I mean. Sometimes I do think my posts are just ODD. I'm happy and positive, and then these weird sentences pop up in between, and I get all dark and depressing, and then I'm up again. That book at Kristie mentions something about bi-polar, and I certainly don't know what bi-polar means technically, but I am guessing I'm kinda there...

So this morning I went out and got my therapy for the day. Got up at 6:05 and met my friend (some girls, you know the one) and did 10 miles, at 37 degrees, which is actually really cold for me. I wore mittens, which keep my hands warmer than fingered gloves. I had on a long sleeve shirt, leggings, and we went out and did it. I've been avoiding running with her b/c she goes so early in the morning, and I have been straight up LAZY. But my brain NEEDED it in a big way. I needed a major reset. I think I will be fine for the rest of the day.

I looked in the mirror and calmly assessed the Christmas 5 around my middle which has SUGAR written all over it. (At this point, I must say sorry to Missy, Callie and Marcy. I promise next year, it will be savory treats. Have your DH's take it to the office. I am so sorry!! I was not thinking.) I am kicking this sugar addiction once and for all. I reach for it, instinctively, without thinking, the second I feel stress or anxiety. I feel the feelings of calm and wellness as that stuff enters my system. And then comes the CRASH and self-loathing. Mood swings, UP and down... I was off it for 2 months straight and then I went on vacay. While I was off it, my moods were so much better. I had even levels of energy throughout the day. I slept better, and was generally much more even tempered. And as for the sugar inches around my waist, I do feel confident that if I cut that out, I will see real results. But I'm more realistic now. It won't happen overnight. I am giving myself at least a month.

So I don't want to take any meds. I have never seriously considered it. I would rather use exercise as my therapy. I just need to get disciplined. I can see now why marathon training was so good for me, because it forced me to be on a regular training schedule, and those happy hormones got released every day. So for now, it is exercise daily, and cutting out the SUGAR.

Hey, sorry I just babbled and posted all-about-me. It's post work out and I'm feeling positive and think that I can beat this. Kristie, I am really looking forward to the book. If I know that my weakness is the evening, I can figure out ways to out-smart my sugar-binging self and avoid those 500 extra calories in the evening. It's just the night time anxiety setting in. I know. There is a friendship bracelet that my daughter and I started. The second I feel the urge to reach for the "cookie", I will work on the bracelet. Ok, it's a plan...

Sorry for the crazy, self-involved post everyone. But I am taking my own advice and just unloading.

 

[LLJsmom]

Ovi, I want to be careful about what I write in the public forum, but I wanted to share something really quick about a very good friend of mine. She recently went through/is going through a divorce. 16 years. 2 wonderful boys. And a husband that kept secrets and was unfaithful. My point is that she moved through it. I am sure it was hard in ways I could NEVER understand. And if it were me, I would probably be on meds. But even through hard days, she is coming out the other side, still positive and moving forward. Another person I know (not closely) separating after 17 years. No children, but just not right for each other. They realized they did not have that many years left, and did not want to spend it with someone they were not in love with.

I am not saying that you should get a divorce. I would never presume. I don't know your situation. I am just saying that I have witnessed a couple of people that got through the darkest part of the tunnel. And just generally speaking, it does surprise me that people our age (I'm in my mid 40s, as were these friends.) do take the step, and make changes. I am amazed b/c I would be so scared and would not have the courage. But there are people that do and have done it. Wow.

 

[Calliecake]

OV, I have often wondered the same thing about women going thru depression at some point in their lives. Seriously almost every woman I have known has gone thru it at some point in their life. I think if you are depressed because of a life event, it's easer to get over. At least if you know the reason why you can take the necessary steps to deal with it. The type brought on by hormonal changes that you described I feel is harder because you really have no idea what you are sad about. I think anyone dealing with depression should get all the help they possibly can.

I'm so sorry to hear about your marriage. The only piece of advice I can give you is that I feel the best marriages are where the two people are truly best friends. There are so many ebbs and flows in marriage but if you have a strong friendship I think you can't get through difficult times. I think I would I have a hard time staying in a marrage where I didn't feel I had that. I hope you know that whatever you decide is best for you, that you have our support. Life unfortunately can be hard times but it doesn't mean your life has to always be hard. I hope that makes sense. You are young and have a long life ahead of you. You deserve to be happy.

 

[Calliecake]

LLJSmom, I just read your post to Ov. You could not have said it better. One of my closest friends was in a relationship like your friend that had the couple of children. They also divorced and her life is so happy today. She has said it was the hardest thing she has ever gone thru and I will never forget how devastated she was. She remarried this year and says all the time that she can't believe how happy she is. I think sometimes when you are in a bad situation it's very easy to just feel stuck. Fear takes over and people don't make the changes because they are afraid.

 

[azstonie]

Ovi, thanks for thinking I'm not that crazy. I mean, I know I'm crazy. I ran 6 marathons. Me and all my marathon running friends have fully accepted that we are cray-cray. You seriously have to be to put yourself through that much torture, repeatedly. But normal crazy, if you know what I mean. Sometimes I do think my posts are just ODD. I'm happy and positive, and then these weird sentences pop up in between, and I get all dark and depressing, and then I'm up again. That book at Kristie mentions something about bi-polar, and I certainly don't know what bi-polar means technically, but I am guessing I'm kinda there...

BIPOLAR in the stone age of psychiatry meant moving between two extremes with nothing in between: Mania (super highs including compulsive behaviors like shopping, gambling, sexual activity) or depression (very low, can't get out of bed, can't function, very few daily activities of living). Catherine Zeta Jones, for example, was diagnosed with Bipolar II, which is bipolar "lite," in that it is not disabling, not always extreme, but the movement along the mood spectrum can be very tiring and dispiriting and many people just would rather skip that as they age. Cycling around on the mood spectrum can be abrupt or it can be gradual over time.

Correct or incorrect psychiatric medications can kindle or bring on bipolar or bipolar II in the future, make the cycling faster and more distressing, so even though I was seriously distressed I did not go with meds because I wanted to avoid that risk. I committed myself to a certain level of distress while I started up an exercise regimen and supplement regimen, and went to short term therapy. I used Xanax during a horrific period very early in when I could not sleep and just ruminated. I used it for 30 days to retrain my brain chemistry and it worked well. I tapered off with no problems whatsoever. I now use Atarax to help the occasional insomnia and I'm kind of dry itchy person (thank you menopause) so Ativan takes care of that for me too if it flares.

So this morning I went out and got my therapy for the day. Got up at 6:05 and met my friend (some girls, you know the one) and did 10 miles, at 37 degrees, which is actually really cold for me. I wore mittens, which keep my hands warmer than fingered gloves. I had on a long sleeve shirt, leggings, and we went out and did it. I've been avoiding running with her b/c she goes so early in the morning, and I have been straight up LAZY. But my brain NEEDED it in a big way. I needed a major reset. I think I will be fine for the rest of the day.

EXCELLENT stratgey, you'll always want some form of exercise in your life to level out your mood, give you something positive every day you do it, and at least when you're exercising you're not eating and no one can hassle you, LOL.

I looked in the mirror and calmly assessed the Christmas 5 around my middle which has SUGAR written all over it. (At this point, I must say sorry to Missy, Callie and Marcy. I promise next year, it will be savory treats. Have your DH's take it to the office. I am so sorry!! I was not thinking.) I am kicking this sugar addiction once and for all. I reach for it, instinctively, without thinking, the second I feel stress or anxiety. I feel the feelings of calm and wellness as that stuff enters my system. And then comes the CRASH and self-loathing. Mood swings, UP and down... I was off it for 2 months straight and then I went on vacay. While I was off it, my moods were so much better. I had even levels of energy throughout the day. I slept better, and was generally much more even tempered. And as for the sugar inches around my waist, I do feel confident that if I cut that out, I will see real results. But I'm more realistic now. It won't happen overnight. I am giving myself at least a month.

SUGAR for me is like crack. Its not good when you're trying to get yourself centered and stabilized, glad you're on it and good luck with that! I'm wrestling the sugar demon myself right now.

So I don't want to take any meds. I have never seriously considered it. I would rather use exercise as my therapy. I just need to get disciplined. I can see now why marathon training was so good for me, because it forced me to be on a regular training schedule, and those happy hormones got released every day. So for now, it is exercise daily, and cutting out the SUGAR.



Hey, sorry I just babbled and posted all-about-me. It's post work out and I'm feeling positive and think that I can beat this. Kristie, I am really looking forward to the book. If I know that my weakness is the evening, I can figure out ways to out-smart my sugar-binging self and avoid those 500 extra calories in the evening. It's just the night time anxiety setting in. I know. There is a friendship bracelet that my daughter and I started. The second I feel the urge to reach for the "cookie", I will work on the bracelet. Ok, it's a plan...

I had/have mood cycling at night. It can be anxiety or it can be a very low mood. The Phelps book got me on top of this nighttime cycling and I haven't had it in a very very long time although if it ever returns (and it certainly could) I know what to do now and I don't dread it or think about it now. One thing I do is before dusk I turn on all the lights in the house. I get exercise at some point during the day and I watch the sugar in my diet. For awhile, I did not watch the national or local news. I even stopped reading TNYT online or our local paper. I concentrated on myself. I wound up giving up alcohol short term even though I never drank very much or had a problem with it, because during menopause a glass of wine or cocktail would bring on a quick cycle the next day. Now, I can have alcohol and its not a problem. Sugar is always a problem for me.

Sorry for the crazy, self-involved post everyone. But I am taking my own advice and just unloading.

[i]Therapy. I went to therapy because I did not want to burden my husband or my friends. This was me isolating myself. I am the most 'well' I can be when I can be myself with friends and my DH. A good therapist is extremely hard to find. I went to 3 before I found the right one. Let me say one thing about therapy after being in healthcare: In the first session discuss that you aren't interested in labels or a diagnosis PER SE, that is not what you seek by coming to therapy. yes, your insurance company (if you use insurance to pay for therapy) will want a diagnosis after X amount of sessions; ask that "generalized anxiety" or "short term grief adjustment" be the diagnosis. Those two are the least worrisome in terms of a negative impact on future insurance coverage/policies. If you can at all pay for this yourself, DO THAT and in this way you will not need to disclose this to any entity in the future. If you can talk with a friend and feel unburdened enough and supported enough, do that. I wasn't in that position with my friends and I still wanted Bob to think I was 'stoic.' The therapist I liked and went to disliked diagnoses or labels and did not want me to suffer any negative outcomes from having one applied to me. She was very bland and general in the notes that the insurance company saw (She showed them to me). Ask to see yours at some point. [/i]

 

[azstonie]

LLJs, sorry that is such a mess above. My postings in reply to yours are in bold and some got the italics and some did not. I tried to make them in color but apparently that didn't work. I don't know why my comments on therapy are out of the quotation box.

I just wanted to send you a message of hope and support. I wanted to let you know that you'll get on top of this. I also wanted to let you know that kindness is key right now, being kind to yourself and not permitting much unkindness to be foisted on you by others. You'll be able to roll with the punches with the best of them, right now you're going to be in the tinkering/rebuilding-remodeling phase, you're not a tear down but some things will change for the better and that takes a certain kind of strength and energy and anyone or any 'thing' that gets in the way of this will have to be back-burnered now and dealt with at a time of your choice once you're done.

You're a cool chick, you'll get on top of it Kudos for having the brains and good instincts to take care of business now, before it overtakes you.

 

[Sunstorm]

There is a lot of truth to everything said here by LLJsmom, Kristie, Callie, all of you.

Depression, my father is an expert on depression, I mean he wrote his phd on it too, he is very well known in Hungary but also internationally. They have a yearly Psychiatric World Congress in the US, when I lived in the Bay Area and it was held in SF I was the guide for the Hungarian delegation. I grew up in this world and have always wanted to help others suffering. I cannot believe that a good hearted person my father is and a great professional can be such a screwed up father. After my return from the US and having had post trauma already because remember my abusive spouse went to jail, he sent me to therapy, I think that therapy can be a great thing and I got the best people, a wonderful psychologist who helped my sister after my parents divorced (they never thought I needed help the strong kid I was ) and also I saw a psychiatrist that was working for my father. I think he was greatly embarrassed though because I befriended both people, we are still friends on FB, etc. and talk and both said that the only problem I had was my family, especially my dad.) As good as he has been as a professional, he has been a horrible father.

That said. He thought I had depression and panic disorder, anxiety gone out of control. So I took Cipralex but it can make you feel bipolar. Then later when I was hit with additional trauma they suspected I could be bipolar somewhat. Now Cipralex being the incorrect med caused it. All I would have needed was a low dose antianxiety. So they started bipolar meds but all they did was make me feel down all the time, I stopped then along with the Cipralex and felt completely normal. All I am taking at the moment is half mg slow release Xanax, it works wonders. Maybe I will not even need that in a bit. These disorders can be debilitating and unfortunately often misdiagnosed and mistreated. I am talking about this very openly and cannot believe myself since this is a public forum but in all honesty maybe someone can profit from the things we are discussing. If someone wants to think badly of me because of multiple traumas in my life, they are free to do so. I lived through them and prevailed, I am here stronger than ever and most the time quite a positive person, as they say what does not kill you only makes you stronger. As Callie also mentioned, yes these problems affect the majority of women especially over the age of 30. I see that many of us even here can relate or have been there. It was not my fault that on top of it I was hit with several traumatic events in my life and molested as a child. I overcame these things and for the first time in my life I mainly feel peace. Sometimes my peace is disturbed by the events of life like my losing Pumie but I know I am a fighter and after a while I fight back with a vengeance.

Marriage, well, we had a very long phone conference with my mom tonight, DH, mom and me. I have no illusions, I just need a little peace right now. I do not see him changing but I need to win myself some time to be able to move on because of certain factors in life and having the same job. I am not ready to go completely independent as far as working on my own only yet, I still need the backing of a job. But I cannot be tortured by his behavior daily. This needed to end. I have had enough. Either he goes or cooperates. I was even willing to lose my job for it as I know I will survive but best not yet. I am also not a cruel person, in his childish ways he loves me a lot, he just has no clue how to do that and his five times a day fits tired me endlessly. I am not sure, definitely not sure about him. I am keeping an open mind and outlook on life. I have had friends I could have tried a relationship with but stuck by my husband despite never really being happy with him. I give people a million chances and more and do not easily give up because of my conscience. I have also had so many bad relationships by now but I will no longer be a victim. I know that at my age I still have a fighting chance for happiness. So we shall see. I hope you girls do not judge me either way.

Missy I know you are very strong, believe me you will be able to travel again even if not quite yet, I also am confident that you can work again sometime in the future, take as long as you need but in a way as challenging as it may be, I know you will prevail and I am somehow almost positive that you would benefit from the human interaction and do great but only you can know when you are ready, maybe worth a short? I do not know, I just want to encourage you but it is your decision and please let me know if I upset you with this.

I know much depends on your skin and I know you are suffering. I told you that I would write here further about perioral derm, we keep discussing it with my mom and will be researching it further, she is looking over her notes and other resources from her carreer as a derm. I have to tell you that she has been the best diagnostic and doc I have ever known and in other areas of medicine too, she has a gut feeling that seems to work, this is very important when you want to be a good doc but most lack it. My dad is only good as a psychiatrist but my mom is great as a general doctor too and in almost all areas of medicine and also compassionate.

Not surprisingly, she said wow, no, you cannot expect quick results, this is not an easy condition to deal with, it will take time for sure. We discussed used metronidazole but also as a topical. Fluoride is a major reason that causes perioral derm, people with the condition should absolutely not use any toothpaste from fluoride! Another factor could be oral funghi that should be tested, it can also cause it. Cortisone should only be used as a last resort as it will aggravate the condition if used regularly. Best to avoid it if possible. Moisturizing is important. But most importantly what she said is that perioral is only a consequence, it means that you are allergic to something and that needs to be found, most often it is food, something you ingest. There is always an underlying reason and until they find it, unfortunately you may not be cured. This goes hand in hand with your experience. But you can do this yourself besides testing for fungus, she said that notes should be taken every single day what you eat and how your skin reacts. Allergy testing would not hurt. What caused the first flareup? Do you remember what you ate?

As far as topical skincare, I am scared of you using shea butter now. It used to work for me but my skin flared up horribly this year when I used it, not sure what I have but I tell you that it does look very similar to your perioral. Using the La Mer was the only thing that helped me but prior to that I used a combo of antifungal and antibiotic ointments. At first my skin looked worse but then slowly improved. It started at the end of summer by October I was desperate. Then I tried La Mer and it solved the problem. Do not imagine I am 100 % better but 90 % better, it can still minimally flare up but that especially happens when I am home and do not moisturize. When I tried using anything else topically on my skin it flared up horribly so as much as this stuff costs, I will keep buying it. I can only tell you that if you can ever try it and return it if it does not work, you should. It is very expensive but well worth every penny to me. My used to be perfect skin was a wreck too and yes I am allergic too but maybe it did not flare up as much as yours because I am taking antihistamines. Mine is also those areas of the face as yours and red, flaky, ugly and sometimes raised spots that did not react to anything. Ok, this is all I can advise you for now, you can try some of the suggestions if you like.

Oh and zinc oxide is not good for perioral as it will only aggravate it further by drying it out more, ok for seb derm in certain cases but even then for people mostly in their teens, very young with oily skin, not us. Also as I have mentioned to you I am allergic to high doses of zinc and that stuff even made me vomit hard.

Hugs to you all.

 

[marcy]

Hi Ladies!

Missy, hopefully we’ve hit our coldest spell for this winter but I wouldn’t bet anyone a dollar on it. Having warm feet though will certainly be nice. We are getting snow again today. I am sure astronomy is difficult from there. I know when we are in Denver at night I can’t see many stars and the background sky is just a milky gray; not black. We have great skies for stars here. One plus for Wyoming! I think that cucumber drink will be a great summer treat. I would try it with less sugar then add more if you need it; everyone that drank it said it was a little bit too sweet.

Ovi, I am glad you keep things in perspective about your parents. I don’t think people realize how they come across or what they say can be so hurtful. It kind of sounds like your dad doesn’t want to deal with anything hurting you and that your mom copes with trauma in your life by attacking you. I am sure they love you and want only the best for you. I bet Vienna is beautiful and I know Austria is gorgeous. That is nice you had a nice visit with an old friend. I am coughing a little more again today but we were out in the cold again. I don’t feel normal but I’m not completely wiped out either. I’m tough and stubborn or is that the same thing? Deciding what to do about your marriage is a personal and very tough decision. We are here to support you in whatever you decide but I hate to think you are so unhappy. Do what you think is best for you in the long run.

LLJsmom, I think there isn’t really a “normal” stamp for people. We are all a little crazy sometimes. But like you say; it’s normal crazy. That’s great you got in a nice long run with friends this morning. 37 is chilly for there. Good idea to have a plan to work on a project when something sweet is calling your name. Be kind and gentle with yourself; we tend to be a lot more forgiving and lenient with other people than we do ourselves.

Hi Kristie!

We slept in a little later than normal today. We went out to pick up glasses for Marty that came in; get some light bulbs and pick up some groceries. It’s snowy again today with wind chill near zero. The forecast calls for above freezing temperatures most of next week. I won’t know how to behave!

Well I’d best go get supper going. Marty is nibbling on stuff in the pantry.

Marcy

 

[LLJsmom]

Missy, I did just want to say something about your comment about not working. I know that my anal, responsible nature would make me feel the same way as you, feeling guilty about not working. I know I would think about the longer term consequences, the impact on retirement, how my DH really feels about me not contributing financially, etc. I think it is very wise of you to not go back to work yet, even though you do feel the guilt and stress that comes with not working. I think you do know that the stress is too much to deal with right now, and that would set you back too much emotionally and mentally, never mind physically. Although I don't know Greg at all except for your description of him, he seems to be a guy whose genuine primary concern and priority is your physical, mental and emotional recovery. Kinda like when you're good, he's good. So I think it's a good thing that you are focusing on your recovery, and that is probably even more of a relief to him. He would be worried about you overtaxing yourself if you went back to work. Anyhoo, that's my guess anyhow. Maybe I'm totally off base. (((hug)))

 

[LLJsmom]

Kristie, a quick note of thanks. I really appreciate your time and effort in responding to my rambling post. I wanted you to know that I'm a girl that does appreciate details and the specific and extremely practical nature of your advice, as well as the matter of fact, no BS way of saying stuff. Thanks. You're awesome. I'll let you know how it goes when I receive the book.

 

[missy]

Hi guys, hope everyone is enjoying their evening!

Where do I start...

Ovi, thank you so much for speaking with your mom about my POD especially with all you are going through right now. I really appreciate it and please thank your mom for me. Very kind of her too.

I don't think it was anything I ate. I just think I have ultra reactive and sensitive skin and then menopause happened and my body sort of went crazy in 2014 the same year I went into official menopause so there you go. There is some research that indicates POD is a cousin of rosacea which I have so it is all somehow linked I am going to ask my dermatologist if he can test me for specific allergens that can affect/cause POD and we shall see. In the meantime I am trying a few new things and trying hard not to introduce too many new things at once or I won't know what is hurting/possibly helping.

I have eliminated all SLS, fluoride, peppermint, cinnamon, etc and I will ask my derm about oral fungi thanks for that advice. I absolutely cannot tolerate topical medications. I have tried a number of times now since my 2006 rosacea diagnosis and again with the POD diagnosis and each time I try any topical med the reaction is bad. Wish I could tolerate that because it would be so much better than being on an oral antibiotic again for years and years but if it works I am willing to take the oral meds. About the shea butter so you don't think I should try it. I have so many creams/oils/etc that I have bought and are unopened still lol. I am conflicted as I know it is only via trial and error I will find what might work for me but really need to find a moisturizer as my skin is terribly dry right now and peeling. What do you think of the hemp oil and argan oil I bought? Safe? No worries if you don't know I think there is no clear cut answer here. Trial and error. Thanks again dear Ovi!

Also, please don't worry about offending me in any way. I appreciate your honest thoughts and advice and what you think about me returning to work. You too Callie. There is truth in what you write I know. I have a lot of thinking to do.

About your dh my heart goes out to you. What you are going through is one of the most difficult life challenges. You are also a strong, incredibly strong woman and I know eventually the right decision for you will make itself clear. I won't repeat here what I wrote to you but you deserve happiness and love and support Ovi. You are a young woman still and have your whole life ahead of you. I am here for you always as I know the other girls are too.


LLJsmom, I am so sorry you are dealing with this but agree with everything Kristie wrote and hope the book she recommended helps. I am glad you have a supportive network of friends and family and we are here for you too. I also know you will come through this stronger and happier and as Kristie writes be kind to yourself and surround yourself with people who love you unconditionally. This is not something you caused in any way nor is it something you should be embarrassed about.

Don't apologize about the sugar either. We love it LOL and don't worry. I am letting Greg eat much of it because I know it might not agree with my skin but I am still enjoying some of it! Hey if you cannot let loose during the holidays when can you right? And OMG it is so good.

Thank you so much for what you wrote about going back to work and how Greg feels. You are right. Greg wants me to first and foremost be healthy and feel good. Yes my responsible nature has taken quite a beating this year as I have missed so much work and while I feel guilty I don't feel guilty enough to rush back quite yet if at all. I think in time my decision will be clearer perhaps or at least I hope. Right now the thought of getting on the subways commuting again and then dealing with the nature of my job and the physical demands as well as learning a whole new system re electronic medical records well the thought is not yet appealing to me. Add to that my skin issues and the discomfort of that I am just not ready. I know what Callie and Ovi wrote is also true. It might be good for me to get back to my life as it was before the accident and make myself useful, take my mind off me as the focus much of the time and find satisfaction again in helping others. But I am not ready even knowing what they wrote is true and I am not sure I ever will be. Thank you LLJsmom, Callie and Ovi for understanding and writing your thoughts to help me think this through. (((Hugs))).

Marcy, glad you got to sleep in today! I hope Marty likes his new glasses. Wow you will be having a heat wave next week LOL. Wyoming does have gorgeous skies and I can see why you would love living there. It is beautiful albeit freezing in the winter but I guess it produces hearty and warm hearted souls! And thanks for the sugar reduction tip re the cucumber drink. Will do.

Callie, thank you so much for that info and I agree on all points. Will be emailing you later and thanks again for taking the time. I hope you enjoyed a good day today with your friends!

Kristie, hope you enjoyed a good day today and I am sure your weather was better than ours. We had snow in the morning (flurries) and then a bit of sleet with rain for the rest of the day. Just another lovely winter day without any sun whatsoever. Forecast for tomorrow is the same. C'mon spring only 3 months or so away!

Enjoy the rest of the evening and I hope everyone has sweet dreams tonight. Hugs to you all.

 

[azstonie]

Missy, that is an AMAZING offer re an NYC/NJ GTG.

I'd be totally on board for that, what DOESN'T NYC have to offer?

Cogitate, all, cogitate and what do you guys think?

 

[Sunstorm]

Yes, NYC would be awesome but around when are you thinking Girls?

Missy, first of all I would just like to say that I hope I did not come across as insensitive when I commented on your work situation, I guess I just think you are so strong and social and thought it might benefit you but what I have failed to think of is well, not only the stress associated with working because yes that is a given but sometimes when I was down it actually helped distract me but also more importantly things like you having to take the subway and simply that you are not ready. Of course there is the skin issue I know this I just keep thinking that you are beautiful regardless. ) But now I feels stupid and that I came across as really ignorant and unfeeling and misunderstanding the situation. I think I was trying to cheer you on. The main thing is that you have a supportive and understanding husband and if you can manage, you should not feel guilty, after all you can go back to work at a later time if you like. I totally understand that you are not ready at this point and do not yet know if you will be. While I think that you will, if not and all is ok then you should not worry about that. I think you should do, as I have said before, what feels right to you at the moment and that it is ultimately your decision, if your boss does not wait then well, there will be other opportunities later if you ever want to go back. What I do want you to know is that we are here for you regardless of what you decide, what you do because we value you as our friend very highly.

About the oils and shea butter, I cannot say for sure that you will have a problem with shea butter, most the time I was fine with it and in fact it did help my hands where I only experienced eczema. On my face I may have had problems with it this year as I not only had eczema but other problems going on as well. My mom thinks that I too have some periorals although flareups are less common and I am managing it now, I most likely have had an occasional problem with it every year and it does get worse with winter coming when eczema aggravates all skin conditions but if you only have eczema shea butter does work, if you have other stuff it may or may not. On my hands it still works very well, what you have to worry about when it comes to pure shea butter is stability and freshness, it does spoil very fast and you should most definitely not use it when it is rancid on your face.

Argan oil is supposed to be really good for skin but is mainly an antiaging oil, I am not quite positive that it has the same healing properties that shea butter does but you can try it. My mom uses it, thinks of it highly, I have tried it and have not experienced problems with it but that was prior to my skin problems this fall. Hemp I have only tried as an additive so I cannot say for sure but it is supposed to have really good moisturizing and even some healing properties. You can try them but do so one at a time and if you notice any worsening do stop and just use them up on your hands if you can.

In my case in addition to flaky red areas that looked like eczema I had bumps, these little red bumps that were like fungus or something. I was thinking an allergy caused it in me, as I said it can often be the case but it is not the only reason. As you have said hormonal problems can greatly contribute. I am absolutely positive that you will be eventually able to manage it because you have just experienced hormonal changes and your body will adjust and calm down. Menopause is extremely hard on the body. Once your body adjusts, your skin will too, I know this sounds like ok but you just want to scream thanks but when but all I want to say is that there is light at the end of the tunnel even if sometimes that does not appear to be the case.

I hope we will talk soon Girls! Love sent your way.

 

[missy]

Good morning!

Kristie, thank you and I am so glad you are open to the offer! It is an open one so whenever everyone wants to I am good with that. And even separately if it doesn't work out for everyone to visit at the same time but you already know about that invitation. It would be so lovely to have everyone come together and think of the fun we would have!

Of course I think late spring is a lovely time in NYC so just throwing that out there.

Ovi, thank you for all that helpful info. Right now I am making up another organic oatmeal mask to apply for relief and calming down my face and will take the day as it comes. I have a lot of trial and error to do so I am taking it slowly. Thank you so much for your encouragement and help. I appreciate it!

And just so you know you have nothing to apologize about at all. Your thoughts and advice were in no way insensitive or ignorant and I appreciate all your comments. I really do.

What I have decided for now (and I reserve the right to change my decision at any time LOL) is I will go back to work in mid to late Feb or beginning of March and see how it goes. I need to try at least and not be afraid of new things (EMR for one) and if it doesn't work out at least I gave it my best. And if it does YAY because then I can continue helping the patients I love and obtaining personal satisfaction from that and also contributing to our retirement.

As you may or may not remember I only worked part time anyway before the accident so working a couple of days a week is not something I want to give up right now. I am just apprehensive and a bit scared of going back because it has been so long and obviously I am not fully (or at least as maximally recovered as I hope to be) recovered at all. Just trying to figure it all out. Thanks for being here for me girls.

I hope everyone enjoys their Sunday!

 

[Sunstorm]

Missy, I definitely want to visit you and feel that I need to! Even if you go back to work, we both have only worked part-time anyhow and I have a lot of vacation time left over from last year. Happy planning, we will figure out a date.

I think that it is totally normal to be scared to go back to work, I have been extremely scared when I started in Vienna as I hoped that they would not interview me in German, I spoke almost no German.) It all worked out and I was learning slowly and used English mainly in the meantime, it has been a great experience for me though and a learning lesson too. Yes, now you need a bit of time and this is very scary but like you said too, you may really benefit from it emotionally and perhaps physically too, we will see but as I said we love you anyhow and do not think badly of you no matter what you decide!

 

[canuk-gal]

Good morning!

What I have decided for now (and I reserve the right to change my decision at any time LOL) is I will go back to work in mid to late Feb or beginning of March and see how it goes. I need to try at least and not be afraid of new things (EMR for one) and if it doesn't work out at least I gave it my best. And if it does YAY because then I can continue helping the patients I love and obtaining personal satisfaction from that and also contributing to our retirement.

As you may or may not remember I only worked part time anyway before the accident so working a couple of days a week is not something I want to give up right now. I am just apprehensive and a bit scared of going back because it has been so long and obviously I am not fully (or at least as maximally recovered as I hope to be) recovered at all. Just trying to figure it all out. Thanks for being here for me girls.


Great decision Missy! Good to have a "plan" in place--woohoo!

cheers--Sharon

 

[Calliecake]

Hi Girls, I hope everyone is enjoying their day.

I just want to say one thing to everyone here. I would never judge any of you for any reason. I have lived long enough to know that just because I may think something is the right thing for me doesn't mean it's the correct thing for some else. We all do the best we can and we all make mistakes at times. It's life, no one has all the answers. I love hearing everyone else's perspective. Everyone here helped me tremendously when I was dealing with my dad. I never felt judged. I would feel awful if I ever made any of you feel that I was judging you. If I overstep, please tell me. I promise if you tell me I'm not being helpful, I will back off.

Missy, if we' were to plan a get together in Brooklyn, are there hotels near your home? Having people stay at your home is a lot of work. I have no problem staying in a hotel and would actually prefer it because I think it would make everything less stressful and more enjoyable for you. I have no trouble traveling. I am also assuming it's not too much trouble to get cabs in your area. Late spring would also work out perfectly for next.

The only advice I would give you about going back to work is that I would give it a go. If you find you are unhappy and its not working out well for you, you always have the option to quit. In the past I have found that just knowing I have the option to leave has made work sitations much more tolerable. I wish I could find a similar work situation. A few days a week doing what you love to do sounds perfect to me. I know how much joy working with your patients brought you. I miss feeling like I'm doing something I am really good at. I received so much satisfaction knowing I was helping people. If your job ended up causing you a lot of stress and was making you unhappy, I would think that would be the time for you to just leave. In the end you have to do what works best for you. If you are stressing a lot just thinking of going back, maybe going back isn't the right thing for you to do. Only you know what will make you feel best. We will all help you anyway we possibly can.

 

[azstonie]

Missy, I think that is an excellent plan because it leaves all the options in your hand.

Maybe you don't want to work for that management team that you're not crazy about, there may be a place for you to work where you like the clients as you do at your present place, but without the management hassles.

Your profession is portable, go where ya wanna go/do what ya wanna do

You will have no trouble at all discussing the nonworked time on your resume: Pilon fracture requiring immobility, mobility, complicated PT and rehab.

Glad you took the power!

 

[azstonie]

Hey Marcy, 1 degree in Riverton this morning! I hope my outlaw/inlaws are freezing their a$$es off

 

[LLJsmom]

You guys, I have to share something so hilarious at the theater. I'm here waiting for the Hobbit to start and there is a weightwatchers ad that used the "If you're happy and you know it clap your hands" song. It went "if you're happy and you know it eat a snack", and then changed it to every other emotion. "If you're stressed and you know it...", "if you're guilty and you know it...", "if you're sleepy and you know it...", "if you're angry and you know it..." And EVERYTHING ends with "eat a snack". My son turns to me and says "mom that is you!!!"

 

[Sunstorm]

ROFL but I am sure not really LLJsmom.)

Callie I totally second some of what you said at the end of your post, working a few days a week doing what you love is ideal. I have found that to be the perfect situation for me. As it is one week home and I am going stir crazy, you really do miss working after a while without even realizing it. You think you do not as you get accustomed to something else but once that faster pace starts again with fun because it is my passion I know I am meant to do this. Then, I am free to choose if I want to travel the rest of the week and work from home or spend time with friends, shopping or whatever. We all need a break sometimes but for me it has been ideal. Now, that said the key is "for me", we are all individuals and every situation is individual, it has also happened to me that for one reason or the other, well, one time after my hospital stay I was simply unable to go back to work for almost a year. It too happens and we can all feel when the time is right. But only we can feel it ourselves, I hated being pushed when I was not ready. I still worked from home but it was not enough, still I wanted to wait it out until not only the timing was right but the job too.

 

[Calliecake]

You guys, I have to share something so hilarious at the theater. I'm here waiting for the Hobbit to start and there is a weightwatchers ad that used the "If you're happy and you know it clap your hands" song. It went "if you're happy and you know it eat a snack", and then changed it to every other emotion. "If you're stressed and you know it...", "if you're guilty and you know it...", "if you're sleepy and you know it...", "if you're angry and you know it..." And EVERYTHING ends with "eat a snack". My son turns to me and says "mom that is you!!!"

LLJsmom, This story had me laughing out long. Please don't apologize for the sugar. As for having my husband take it to work...too late for that. I ate every last bite. I don't know what it is about sugar but it really is my vice. I don't drink or smoke. I eat sugar. I am going to get back on track starting tomorrow, I may even go so far as getting on that darn scale.

 

[marcy]

Hi Ladies!

Missy, Marty’s glasses are computer glasses. They should only focus on paperwork in front of him to his computer monitors. I guess they have a lot of the anti glare coatings to help with computer glare. I hope he likes them. I don’t feel hearty, LOL. I think living in the city requires tougher people than a low populated rural place like this. I guess it’s all what we are used to everyday. Good idea to pick a time frame to return to work and see how it goes. As you said; if you find it doesn’t work out for you then you gave it a try. Knowing how much you enjoy helping your patients you’ll probably find you enjoy it again once you get back in a routine.

Hi Ovi!

Callie, you are so right that what is right for one person may not be right for another. We all do the best we can and we all make mistakes. I couldn’t agree with you more.

Kristie, I think everyone in Wyoming was cold today. The wind is kicking up.

Hi LLjsmom. The WW commercial sounds like a good one. I eat when I’m stressed, bored, sad and I definitely like sugar better than anything else.

I took both Nyquil tablets last night and slept until almost 8. I made breakfast and then read most of the day. Marty met a friend for a drink about 2 so I made spaghetti and meatballs while he was gone and we ate about 4:30 when he got home.

Have a great day!

Marcy

 

[Calliecake]

Marcy, I have to ask you this. Do you love to cook? I get hungry after reading your posts. It's seems like you are always making something delicious. Marty is one lucky man! If you ever feel like he isn't appreciating all the wonderful things you cook for him, send him to my house. He will have a whole new appreciation for you!

 

[marcy]

Callie, I do love to cook and bake. Marty is very appreciative of his meals and he actually is a good cook as well.