Not Invited!
- Thread starter soulsis
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soulsis
Shiny_Rock
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- Oct 21, 2004
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UPDATE!!
On Saturday we went ton the inlaws. D casually brought up the fact that people were inviting themselves. His mom asked who and we told her. She proceeded to get livid, get on the phone and give her sister a piece of her mind! it was awesome. All I heard was "Yeah...I told you they were getting married. It''s a small wedding. Well, that''s what invitations are for! No, they didn''t invite them. Because if they invite Elma they have to invite Bob. Just because we talk about it does not make it an open invite!"
That was it. She fixed everything! She was appalled by the rudeness her side of the fam displayed. TG!!
On Saturday we went ton the inlaws. D casually brought up the fact that people were inviting themselves. His mom asked who and we told her. She proceeded to get livid, get on the phone and give her sister a piece of her mind! it was awesome. All I heard was "Yeah...I told you they were getting married. It''s a small wedding. Well, that''s what invitations are for! No, they didn''t invite them. Because if they invite Elma they have to invite Bob. Just because we talk about it does not make it an open invite!"
That was it. She fixed everything! She was appalled by the rudeness her side of the fam displayed. TG!!
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<<<<< That would be great if I hadn't gotten married in '97 in Vegas by Elvis already!!
Soulsis - Did you REALLY??? That's awesome! We planned it too late and couldn't get any Elvises (apparently new years eve is a very busy time for The King), but we're definitely getting him to renew our vows for our 10 year anniversary!
Soulsis - Did you REALLY??? That's awesome! We planned it too late and couldn't get any Elvises (apparently new years eve is a very busy time for The King), but we're definitely getting him to renew our vows for our 10 year anniversary!
diamondfan
Super_Ideal_Rock
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- Jun 17, 2005
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- 11,016
I think weddings can bring out the worst in people unfortunately. I think people should learn to read an envelope and see who is actually invited before RSVP''ing! Also, in the case with people thinking they can just show up, I think the bride or groom''s mother should call, depending on whose side the people are from. The bride should not have to get into a hassle, and get upset, let someone else a bit more removed (just a bit!) be the heavy and make the point clear! Let the bride focus on other things!
FireGoddess
Super_Ideal_Rock
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- Jan 25, 2005
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- 12,145
sparkly_stars
Brilliant_Rock
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- Jul 26, 2005
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- 576
Thats fantastic!! 
I had been anxiously awaiting to hear what happened (I think because I should be taking my time to study..I''m basically doing everything BUT).
The stories that were told here makes me know that one day I will want a destination wedding! haha.
At least the issue is resolved(this one anyways hehe!)
Good luck with the rest of the planning!
I had been anxiously awaiting to hear what happened (I think because I should be taking my time to study..I''m basically doing everything BUT).
The stories that were told here makes me know that one day I will want a destination wedding! haha.
At least the issue is resolved(this one anyways hehe!)
Good luck with the rest of the planning!
diamondfan
Super_Ideal_Rock
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- Jun 17, 2005
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- 11,016
I think elopement or destination weddings start to look very appealing when all this stuff starts flying around!
ChargerGrrl
Ideal_Rock
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- Aug 17, 2005
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- 2,865
THANKS for the update!
Nice that your FMIL whippped things back into shape. I''m sure it''s a load off your shoulders!
soulsis
Shiny_Rock
- Joined
- Oct 21, 2004
- Messages
- 317
You bet I did! June 14, 1997. I was married for 7 years and we got married along with 16 of our friends and family in Vegas at a tacky chapel with an Elvis! It was wonderful! I am all about the trailer-park theme of things. I wanted a wedding cake built out of Twinkies and Ding Dongs...but DF thought it was too much. You will LOVE my wedding cake. I will post pictures. It has rocks, twigs, and piped pinecones. I made the little tent for the top as well. It has two pairs of legs sticking out under a blankie with a little sign that says "Just Married". We are even giving away hand made fishing flies as favors. We wanted our wedding to reflect us.
phoenixgirl
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Mar 20, 2003
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- 3,390
We had some annoyances as well.
DH''s parents separated a year before our wedding (unexpectedly to us, although MIL''s emotional problems weren''t a secret). It turned out that she was leaving FIL for her "prison ministry penpal," an incarcerated rapist, 17 years her junior. She married the felon seven months before our wedding (just before he got out of prison -- you see, because it would be sin to have any relationship with him while unmarried, but it isn''t a sin to divorce your husband apparently). She had talked about this guy for years and was planning gleefully for his release 18 months earlier (asked me if my apartment complex ran criminal background checks to see if he could move in there). At that time I told my DH (then my boyfriend) that I would never meet him, and we have stuck to that. I guess we should have realized at the time that she was more than being a good penpal.
She put him on her list of people to invite (and some other random people). Since she wasn''t paying for anything and was on shaky terms with everyone (our wedding was the first time she saw DH''s brother in two years because he cut her out of his life -- she walked up to him at the rehearsal and announced that she had forgiven him for sinning against her -- how magnanimous of her) she didn''t have anything to stand on, and we just didn''t invite them. But she did pout the whole time and leave both the rehearsal dinner and the wedding early.
We also had some of my parents'' friends ask if they could bring their grown son along, but at least they asked. I really didn''t mind having one more person there since my parents were paying the bill and they are close family friends, but I hadn''t seen the guy since I was 12. He turned out to be very demanding and socially awkward. He seemed to think I was going to sit down and tell him everything I had done since I was 12 at my wedding, and he also seemed to think we were best friends. I honestly didn''t know who he was when he came up to me and thought he was one of DH''s work friends. Afterwards friends reported that they had met my "close family friend," and I was like, "Who?"
And then five people didn''t show up, two of them DH''s uncle and aunt. They didn''t even call to let us know. They really have no class (brother and wife of MIL). Of course, we still had to pay for their meals. Another one of DH''s uncles tried to refuse to go to DH''s brother''s rehearsal dinner because the club required a jacket and he didn''t have one (um, ever heard of a funeral? you need them for those too). He wound up buying some ridiculous corduroy jacket at Good Will and wearing that with a red plaid shirt.
While I''m on it, I was also annoyed that FIL seemed to think that all rehearsal dinner decisions were up to him. He chose the restaurant and the menu, and we didn''t have a say! It was a nice restaurant and menu, but it was 30 minutes from the church (and many people were from out of town). Didn''t he notice how we invited him and his wife to the tasting at the country club for the reception? My parents didn''t just say, "We''re paying, so we''re planning! I hope you enjoy our, I mean your, wedding!" In his defense, he had to plan and pay for DH''s brother''s wedding (another long story), so it may be that he just assumed that''s how it''s done, but I was peeved. He seemed really annoyed that my friend, who had travelled from Botswana to come to our wedding, missed the rehearsal dinner because she was too tired from 36 hours of travelling (bus ride to Johannesburg, flight to London, flight to US) and would have to come up the next day. I understand that it''s annoying when there are no shows (do I ever!), but I think forgiveness for the Peace Corps volunteer who went above and beyond to get there is in order.
At least I won the jazz band vs. regular band debate (regular band so that we could dance). DH wanted a musically impressive jazz band rather than a cheesy wedding band, but there was no way I was going to have a wedding where people couldn''t dance.
DH''s parents separated a year before our wedding (unexpectedly to us, although MIL''s emotional problems weren''t a secret). It turned out that she was leaving FIL for her "prison ministry penpal," an incarcerated rapist, 17 years her junior. She married the felon seven months before our wedding (just before he got out of prison -- you see, because it would be sin to have any relationship with him while unmarried, but it isn''t a sin to divorce your husband apparently). She had talked about this guy for years and was planning gleefully for his release 18 months earlier (asked me if my apartment complex ran criminal background checks to see if he could move in there). At that time I told my DH (then my boyfriend) that I would never meet him, and we have stuck to that. I guess we should have realized at the time that she was more than being a good penpal.
She put him on her list of people to invite (and some other random people). Since she wasn''t paying for anything and was on shaky terms with everyone (our wedding was the first time she saw DH''s brother in two years because he cut her out of his life -- she walked up to him at the rehearsal and announced that she had forgiven him for sinning against her -- how magnanimous of her) she didn''t have anything to stand on, and we just didn''t invite them. But she did pout the whole time and leave both the rehearsal dinner and the wedding early.
We also had some of my parents'' friends ask if they could bring their grown son along, but at least they asked. I really didn''t mind having one more person there since my parents were paying the bill and they are close family friends, but I hadn''t seen the guy since I was 12. He turned out to be very demanding and socially awkward. He seemed to think I was going to sit down and tell him everything I had done since I was 12 at my wedding, and he also seemed to think we were best friends. I honestly didn''t know who he was when he came up to me and thought he was one of DH''s work friends. Afterwards friends reported that they had met my "close family friend," and I was like, "Who?"
And then five people didn''t show up, two of them DH''s uncle and aunt. They didn''t even call to let us know. They really have no class (brother and wife of MIL). Of course, we still had to pay for their meals. Another one of DH''s uncles tried to refuse to go to DH''s brother''s rehearsal dinner because the club required a jacket and he didn''t have one (um, ever heard of a funeral? you need them for those too). He wound up buying some ridiculous corduroy jacket at Good Will and wearing that with a red plaid shirt.
While I''m on it, I was also annoyed that FIL seemed to think that all rehearsal dinner decisions were up to him. He chose the restaurant and the menu, and we didn''t have a say! It was a nice restaurant and menu, but it was 30 minutes from the church (and many people were from out of town). Didn''t he notice how we invited him and his wife to the tasting at the country club for the reception? My parents didn''t just say, "We''re paying, so we''re planning! I hope you enjoy our, I mean your, wedding!" In his defense, he had to plan and pay for DH''s brother''s wedding (another long story), so it may be that he just assumed that''s how it''s done, but I was peeved. He seemed really annoyed that my friend, who had travelled from Botswana to come to our wedding, missed the rehearsal dinner because she was too tired from 36 hours of travelling (bus ride to Johannesburg, flight to London, flight to US) and would have to come up the next day. I understand that it''s annoying when there are no shows (do I ever!), but I think forgiveness for the Peace Corps volunteer who went above and beyond to get there is in order.
At least I won the jazz band vs. regular band debate (regular band so that we could dance). DH wanted a musically impressive jazz band rather than a cheesy wedding band, but there was no way I was going to have a wedding where people couldn''t dance.
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