New to the forum but my god I am so happy I found it! Story so far - with my SO for just under 3 years. We were long distance (transatlantic) for just over 2 years of that. He moved to US two months ago and now we live together (finally!). Living together has been such a dream - we are really really happy. We have been serious throughout our relationship but only really started talking about marriage in March. He initially said that he did not believe in marriage and that he could be just as committed without marriage (very European attitude) BUT that if I really wanted to get married, he would do it to make me happy - this attitude hurt me a lot initially but I appreciated his honesty and truly do believe that he is committed to me as much as he possibly can be ... sooo eventually I got over it.
Anyway, so we agreed to marry in a very small ceremony and he spoke about July next year as a possible date. Since then I have been waiting for an official proposal - he says it will be soon but I pushed/hinted quite a bit and we had a couple of huge fights over it. He is under some pressure right now because he does not have a job here in the US and is trying really hard to find one (it is extremely difficult in his field and his work is VIP to him). The job could be anywhere in US and I agreed to follow him (my work is transportable). At one point he said he was waiting until he found a job before he would propose. Problem is that July is not very far away and I want to start planning. Also, what would a job change? I am supporting us financially here in the US and even when he does find a job I would significantly out-earn him anyway (at least for the next 5 years or so) - it is not like he is the one saving to buy a ring (yes, believe it or not, I would probably have to buy my own ring but I got over that too).
I don''t want to keep pressuring him (esp given the current job pressure and fact he changed countries for me) and since our last fight I shut up about it but it is killing me internally. I am also wondering if I am giving up too much - marrying someone who doesn''t believe in marriage (but believes in committment and making me happy), financially supporting someone that refuses to propose just yet and to top it off, even if they did propose, I would pay for the ring and most expenses!!!
Am I crazy? Sometimes I think I might be.
Anyway, so we agreed to marry in a very small ceremony and he spoke about July next year as a possible date. Since then I have been waiting for an official proposal - he says it will be soon but I pushed/hinted quite a bit and we had a couple of huge fights over it. He is under some pressure right now because he does not have a job here in the US and is trying really hard to find one (it is extremely difficult in his field and his work is VIP to him). The job could be anywhere in US and I agreed to follow him (my work is transportable). At one point he said he was waiting until he found a job before he would propose. Problem is that July is not very far away and I want to start planning. Also, what would a job change? I am supporting us financially here in the US and even when he does find a job I would significantly out-earn him anyway (at least for the next 5 years or so) - it is not like he is the one saving to buy a ring (yes, believe it or not, I would probably have to buy my own ring but I got over that too).
I don''t want to keep pressuring him (esp given the current job pressure and fact he changed countries for me) and since our last fight I shut up about it but it is killing me internally. I am also wondering if I am giving up too much - marrying someone who doesn''t believe in marriage (but believes in committment and making me happy), financially supporting someone that refuses to propose just yet and to top it off, even if they did propose, I would pay for the ring and most expenses!!!
Am I crazy? Sometimes I think I might be.