Neighbor Rant

[LAJennifer]

Date: 9/5/2008 12:45:10 AM
Author: luckystar112
Something seriously needs to be done, LP.
I would definitely see about filing some sort of harassment suit. Your parents are being harassed, and I think it is well worth the $350 an hour. Do they have a HOA or anyone else in the neighborhood looking out or their best interest?

In any case, I definitely think that your parents need to stick up for themselves. They can''t let their neighbors rule their life.

Absolutely! Your parents have been passive for too long. If they remain passive, the neighbors will continue to abuse - it''s what bullies do.

 

[absolut_blonde]

My parents also have The Neighbours From Hell. I won''t even get into what they''ve done, but it''s strikingly similar. My parents are actually planning to install a camera because he''s destroyed their property before. The only upside is that my neighbours are mid-40s and child-free. I''m actually horrified that the neighbours in this instance will be parents.

Definitely look into the City''s bylaws regarding fence height. Residential fences can only be so high -- if theirs is high enough to be impeding your parents'' view, then it might not be legal.

Also, I don''t think they were in the wrong regarding trimming the bamboo. Maybe it varies by municipality, but you''re absolutely allowed to do that where I live. Once it''s coming onto your property, too damn bad.

I know it is expensive but I really would consider getting a lawyer. Until they do, these people are probably going to sit around and think that they can get away with bullying your parents. Like others have said, all you really need is someone to draft up a firm letter outlining where your parents stand on all of those issues -- that they received NO prior notice about the windchimes being an issue (beyond unreasonable), that they were legally in the right to trim the bamboo (if they were).

I would check the legality of everything they have done and everything they attempt to do from this point forward. He is abusing his status as a lawyer (regardless of what the bar thinks or is able to do at this point) and I bet he is relying on his title to intimidate them. Don''t take anything they say or do at face value from now on.

Also: document EVERYTHING. As was also mentioned, they have a potential harassment case if this continues. Hopefully it will not go that far, but if it does you need a record of every single thing they''ve done. What they did, when they did it, what was said, everything.


Ugh. I know it''s tough - even talking about this gets me riled up about my parents neighbours! But at the same time, after a few months of it, my parents basically said screw them! You''ve got to be extremely petty, immature and downright UNHAPPY people to behave the way these people do. I mean, think about it-- what well-adjusted, normal, fulfilled adult behaves like that? They simply don''t. I know it''s hard when it''s your home because it''s something so personal to you. But I''d do my best to avoid contact with them altogether and ''unplug'' as much as possible because they ARE trying to make them miserable and you don''t want to let losers like that succeed.

 

[Sha]

Wow! What a terrible situation.

These people have really lost it. Is it that they don''t speak to your parents anymore? Why would they send a legal document over plus call the police over for such petty issues, when they could simply discuss it with your parents? Your folks don''t sound like the kind of people who would be rude or confrontational to them. They''re really taking this farther than it needs to go. I''m so sorry.

 

[hibiscus]

That''s simply horrid. I''m sorry its happening to your parents, sure sound like they''re nice people. My thoughts are.. what goes around comes around. Your parents mean neighbor will get a taste of their medicine some way or another perhaps not from your parents but from someone else.

 

[ladypirate]

Thanks so much for the replies, everyone. I''m feeling a bit more zen about the whole thing today after a night''s sleep. It''s just infuriating that they believe they have the right to pull this stuff.

Circe, I mentioned the notarized letter to my mom and they will probably do that after they talk to the city councilperson next week. Thank you for the suggestion!

WishfulThinking, the height restriction for hedges is 12 feet (I think), but because it''s bamboo, they aren''t sure if it applies. And yes, the guy is using his bar cert to threaten them...it''s just sick.

LuckyStar, they don''t have a HOA--maybe they should start one. I think what my parents are terrified of is that if they try to use any legal recourse, the neighbors will attempt to bankrupt them with petty lawsuits. Truth be told, I wouldn''t put it past them.

Jewelerman, they''ve definitely started keeping records. Hopefully it won''t come to needing a lawyer, but we''ll see.

Meresal, thanks for the sympathy--it is infuriating. They don''t have a HOA because it''s an old neighborhood that certainly didn''t used to be worth so much...my parents bought there in 86 for around 150K. I dread what they are going to be like once they have a kid.

I wonder if you''re right about them trying to bully my parents out--I''ll have to suggest that to them.

Thanks, JSM!

FieryRed, they don''t seem to associate much with the other neighbors, although I know they''ve had an altercation with at least one other family. My mom thinks that they feel they''re too good for the area.

LivintheDream, thank you. They are very law abiding citizens--when the police were called about the bamboo, the officer couldn''t even believe it. It''s really frustrating. My mom mentioned something about how it''s hard to fight back because it turns into one of those "so when did you stop beating your wife" situations--once they accuse them of something, no matter how ridiculous it is, it forces my parents to go on the defensive for nothing they did wrong!

LAJennifer, thanks--I feel similarly. I think my mom is trying to minimize it as much as possible because she''s so worried about my dad''s stress level. These people are awful.

Absolut_Blonde, I''m sorry your parents are also dealing with crazy neighbors. Their fence is not THAT high, it just cuts right across my parent''s view line. I think they''re pissed off that my parents also want a view or something. It''s like a child who refuses to share. Also, their issue with the bamboo is that it was coming over my parent''s fence at around 16 feet in the air. My mother couldn''t reach that high even with a ladder, so she reached approximately 6" over the fence to trim it at about 12 feet in the air. They basically said she was trespassing. It''s insane. I think my parents are definitely trying to go the route of hoping that they become happier somehow so they stop tormenting them--they are much better at that than I am, apparently!

Sha, thanks for the reply. They stopped speaking to my parents after the first time my parents expressed concern that their view would be blocked once they built their fence. It''s crazy.

Hibiscus, thank you. My parents are nice people--that''s why it hurts me so much that this is happening. They have worked so hard to have what they do and to be able to give my sisters and I the best life possible (my dad still works 3-4 nights a week on top of his full time day job) and then these people come along and try to ruin it for them. It just breaks my heart. I''m trying to think in terms of karma, but it''s difficult when someone is hurting the people I love.

 

[sunnyd]

Unbelievable! What spolied little brats! I think your parents should go the way of Ozzy and Sharon and hurl poop over the fence.

Not serious, that was for giggle value.

 

[blondebunny]

i read ur story awhile ago, then just saw previews for a movie that sounded like ur problems.. Lakeview Terrace.. a cop is using his power as a cop to terrorize neighbors.... its just awful...

and although retaliation is never good.. look what this family did.. i found it very funny.. http://www.wftv.com/news/17087151/detail.html

i hope everything gets better, i hate rude neighbors...

 

[LAJennifer]

LadyPirate - I talked to my husband about your parents' situation. This is what he said,

"The neighbors are a$$holes who know that your parents are nice, upstanding citizens who would worry about this stuff - they've started psychological warfare on your folks. I would be psycho right back to 'em. I would wipe my a$$ with that letter and mail it back to them. Seriously, what are they going to do? Then I would put those windchimes right back up. I would put up two. Let them keep sending letters - I'll keep mailing it right back to them. What are they going to sue them for - pain and suffering? You can't even get pain and suffering when you are in a car accident - are you kidding me, this is Los Angeles! A few years ago I was getting out of the shower and an intruder was standing in my living room and I couldn't even get 911 to respond. Tell you parents not to worry about these jerks. I would be seriously evil to these people."

Then he cited that Sopranos episode where Tony bought a beach house from a lawyer and then wanted to back out of the sale - but the lawyer refused. So Tony parked a boat in the water outside of his house and blasted the speakers everyday - the police boat patrol would come by and tell him to turn it down - he would and then when the police were out of site he would blast the speakers again.

My husband is a nice guy - but he is from the Northeast and doesn't dare let ANYONE push him around.