zoebartlett
Super_Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Dec 29, 2006
- Messages
- 12,461
I know there have been threads on the whole name change issue when one gets married. I don''t know what to do. I''ve always known that my finace would like me to change my name and he''s always known that I''m not crazy about doing that. Here are my reasons:
1. Although I''m not in love with my name, it''s ME, you know? I''ve had it for 30+ years and I''m used to it.
2. My dad has two brothers who have sons. My dad has two girls. When my sister got married, she changed her name (to a family name on my mom''s side, she didn''t take her husband''s name). So my male cousins get to keep their name and even pass it on to their kids. If I didn''t change my name, our last name would "live on" with me. My kids would have my FI''s name though, so my last name would essentially end with me (speaking for my immediate family).
3. I don''t want to hyphenate. I just don''t think it sounds great together.
4. Changing your name legally seems so final. It also sounds like a lot of paperwork and I know you have to notify credit card companies, social security, and everyone else under the sun. It just seems like so much work. Not to mention that is for some reason, if I do decide to go back to my maiden name, that''s supposedly a ton of work (according to my divorced friends).
I told my FI that I''d consider changing my name socially but I''m very hesitant to do it legally. He said that it''s just not the same. When we get married, we wouldn''t be known as "the _________''s." I disagree. My kids (students) would call me Mrs. _____, and we would be known as "the __________''s" but my married name wouldn''t appear on legal documents.
I know my FI is upset by this but he has said that I can do whatever I want. He felt defeated, I know, but I think he''s tired of disagreeing about this. I know I''m probably rambling but I wanted to get this out. Any help would greatly be appreciated...by both of us.
1. Although I''m not in love with my name, it''s ME, you know? I''ve had it for 30+ years and I''m used to it.
2. My dad has two brothers who have sons. My dad has two girls. When my sister got married, she changed her name (to a family name on my mom''s side, she didn''t take her husband''s name). So my male cousins get to keep their name and even pass it on to their kids. If I didn''t change my name, our last name would "live on" with me. My kids would have my FI''s name though, so my last name would essentially end with me (speaking for my immediate family).
3. I don''t want to hyphenate. I just don''t think it sounds great together.
4. Changing your name legally seems so final. It also sounds like a lot of paperwork and I know you have to notify credit card companies, social security, and everyone else under the sun. It just seems like so much work. Not to mention that is for some reason, if I do decide to go back to my maiden name, that''s supposedly a ton of work (according to my divorced friends).
I told my FI that I''d consider changing my name socially but I''m very hesitant to do it legally. He said that it''s just not the same. When we get married, we wouldn''t be known as "the _________''s." I disagree. My kids (students) would call me Mrs. _____, and we would be known as "the __________''s" but my married name wouldn''t appear on legal documents.
I know my FI is upset by this but he has said that I can do whatever I want. He felt defeated, I know, but I think he''s tired of disagreeing about this. I know I''m probably rambling but I wanted to get this out. Any help would greatly be appreciated...by both of us.