My proposal will not be a proposal

[terceslil]

Some history... and why my proposal will not be a proposal...

We cannot be married. We are lesbians in the state of Louisiana.

So, this ring will be a commitment ring, I guess. And the reason why the ring is a big deal is because we went out for 3 years and she gave me a ring but I was not ready and it scared me off. We broke up for 3 years. We have been back together for 4 years. She has been hinting for a ring. I feel like I am ready to be committed, so I am going to give her a ring.

I'm still looking for the right diamond, so the ring is not in my grubbly little hands yet. I have raised my ring budget to accommodate the ring that I want, so I am kind of on a spending moratorium. Therefore I will not have a lot to spend on a proposal unless I wait for a little while. I'm a student in college and should be graduating in May. I'm always kind of pressed for time because I seem to always have papers and assignments due and tests to study for. I should be working on a paper right now, but I find myself on this forum concerned about the ring! It's kind of a big deal to me (the ring, the proposal, er non-proposal).

There have been other girls, and other rings... I never built a ring for a girl or waited so long to give a girl a ring so I guess you can say that I want this non-proposal to be special. Probably because this time I want it to last.

I guess I am looking for an idea that will be inexpensive but special... or if I wait and save some money, I guess it can be expensive. I think once I get the ring that I will be very eager to give it to her.

About her: she loves contemporary art, she is a graphic designer, she plays women's tackle football, she loves dogs, and we enjoy dining at new and different places.

Here's an idea. I am a freelance web designer. I can acquire hosting and a domain for fairly cheap. I am thinking about designing a website that she will have to click through. I can tell her all the reasons that I love her and say that I am committing myself to her and then virtually give her the ring! Then, I can give her the ring in real life. Does that sound good?

Here's the ring that I'm hoping to build is attached:

 

[reader]

This looks like a great design for someone as active as your girlfriend...maybe perhaps swapping the prongs for a bezel might protect the corners of the stone a bit better, and ensure it doesn''t snag on sweaters over time.

My awesome friends live in Indy. They had a beautiful ceremony for their family in a local park, and then went to Toronto for their actual wedding, its was cool because their witnesses were some guys from Texas and they stayed around to be witnesses for their wedding. Its fun when the women travel, as they update their facebooks statuses when they cross state lines into areas where their marriage is vaild.

Maybe there is something in all this you could use. Perhaps propose on a beautiful, moonlit night...maybe a candlelight picnic? Go to Toronto to be legally married, then perhaps a nice vacation in Toronto, or a bit further north on the South Bruce penninsula?

 

[terceslil]

Maybe.

Here's the beginning of my non-proposal idea: **Link removed by moderator. No links to personal websites or blogs to protect privacy**

I chose to use my own hand writing instead of a template or flash design because I think it would be more personal than a website that looks like it was professionally designed.

I design sites for businesses all the time, so I think she will appreciate that I didn't handle her website non-proposal like a business.

It is in the works. Don't be surprised if you click on something and it dead-ends.

 

[Hest88]

Nice. I also agree that it might not hurt to look at a bezel setting, which would be ideal for a really active gal. A tension-set ring is very contemporary too, but the stone would be less protected. Of course, if she gets into the habit of taking off her ring for anything messy or active (I even take off my non-diamond wedding ring for something as "hands on" as baking, just to avoid cleaning between the engraving), it might not be as much of an issue.

As you''re designing the ring, it wouldn''t hurt to post in RockyTalky either, which is more active and where people are usually pretty eager to help design a diamond ring.

 

[terceslil]

I thought about a tension setting, but a local jeweler advised against it before I could get my heart set on it. She has to take her jewelry off while paying football, so there aren''t many worries about her wearing it on the field.

 

[ArtistJess]

lil- i am also a graphic designer from louisiana. just wanted to stop by and show my support. i think that is a beautiful idea. congrats on finding that special lady!

 

[terceslil]

Date: 2/21/2010 5:49:48 PM
Author: ArtistJess
lil- i am also a graphic designer from louisiana. just wanted to stop by and show my support. i think that is a beautiful idea. congrats on finding that special lady!

Thanks. I am thinking of thinking of tweaking the website idea, but will probably do that when I don''t have 3 tests to study for and a paper due. I am eager to get the right diamond and setting together, but I want to have a plan for when the ring is complete.

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

 

[Hest88]

Oh, we must have cross-posted earlier. I gotta say, though normally I''m not a big tech person when it comes to something like proposals, but your idea made me feel swoony. Love it!

 

[terceslil]

Thanks. I already got the domain and started with the website. Tinkering with the website will keep me occupied when I get anxious about the process of building the ring.

The website is something that I can change as the idea evolves.

 

[Dreamer_D]

I like the web idea!

And as long as she takes off her ring when she plays sports, don''t worry about the setting.

You could always plan a trip up here to Canada and get married one day.

 

[terceslil]

Now that I have an ETA of 3/4/10, and I have the 4 tests out of the way (I'm graduating this semester), I am going to focus on the website.

I think the background will be like this...

one idea/a>

[url=http://bardingwell.files.wordpress.com/2009/10/blank-paper-1.jpg]Blank paper

or this

blank paper

Then, I will either type or write on it what I have to say...

I think I might upload a little video, too.

I will probably stay away from music, that would be kind of cheesy, I think. I think that it would be really fun to have a check box at the end like grade schoolers do... LOL, like the "will you go with me" type of check box.

Also, I think I might design it to initially look like a business website, then after she clicks on any link on the website, she will see that it is a website designed for her.

I am open to ideas. If your beau were to propose to you via internet, what would you like to see? dear carlaidea[/URL]

 

[gemdandy]

Well, a slideshow of photos of you two together, of course. No music, eh? Not even something like Melissa's "When You Find The One" or "This Moment"? Maybe I'm just cheesy.

It might be touching to show how well you know her. Maybe something along the lines of a prompt to click on her favorite vacation spot or scroll over to the pet who is the biggest diva...... just to demonstrate how in tune you are with her and your life together.

 

[terceslil]

I guess music would not really be cheesy. I usually deter businesses from putting music on their websites because it''s cheesy on business websites...

This, however, is personal... so music may be appropriate.

I like your idea of the slideshow. Gives me an idea about something else I can do with a layout.

 

[gemdandy]

I''ve come to the conclusion that I am, in fact, a cheeseball.

I had an idea for the website that involved photos of you and then she is superimposed into the photo and all of the colors in the photo become brighter once her image is part of it.

 

[terceslil]

That sounds good. That''s not a cheese ball idea. I figured out why I am having such a hard time starting the website. I am so accustomed to all the do''s and dont''s of business websites that I could not just simply start a personal site.

I think I am in a better place to start the site now that I have finally accepted that I need to make it more personal than business (the layout, the rules.). duh.

 

[terceslil]

I believe I have decided on a layout.. here it is.

DearCarla.com

 

[terceslil]

Well, I have a good start on the website. I might actually be done. The website is best viewed with a laptop screen that is wider than it is tall. I checked her Macbook to make sure everything loaded alright. I checked my laptop and my desktop. So, it looks like anywhere that we are around a computer, I will be alright.

The ETA is 3/4/10. I have school + work on 3/4. I will have to beat her home so the FedEx card is not on the door. I will have to pick it up.

I don''t know exactly when I will share the website with her and give her the ring. We don''t have any special occasions coming up, but that doesn''t mean that I can''t make one.

 

[gemdandy]

Cool! Is the website completed?

 

[gemdandy]

Forgot to mention - perfect song choice!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[reader]

Grins, International Women''s Day is March 8, if you are looking for a date idea.

 

[terceslil]

Date: 2/28/2010 5:10:43 PM
Author: gemdandy
Cool! Is the website completed?

If nothing else strikes me before the big day, the site is complete. I might build on it depending on when I give it to her, or for what event/holiday.

The 1st day of Spring is March 20. It''s also on a Saturday. Saturday might be good, but she has football practice on Saturdays. That usually takes up the bulk of her Saturdays.

International (Working) Women''s Day is on a Monday. Both of us have freelance jobs outside of our regular jobs, so we usually work at home after our regular work days, so I don''t know if a Monday will be good.

The wheels are turning, so I have a couple of ideas. I can easily change the website to look like it is designed to celebrate an event or holiday, then direct her to the site I have already created.

 

[terceslil]

I have these scheduled to be delivered at her work on the 8th: http://ww30.1800flowers.com/product.do?skuCode=93420

(I had a coupon and a credit, so it was not expensive but looks really nice.) She will never be expecting anything for International Women''s Day.

I guess I will work up a mock up of a website for International Women''s Day. Everything that she will click on will lead to the website.

 

[terceslil]

I guess I have the plan. She gets chocolates in the daytime at work.

In the evening when she gets home. I will tell her about a website that is honoring working women. I'll email her this address: **Link removed by moderator. No links to personal websites or blogs to protect privacy**

Every link goes to the website that I designed for her.

Then, after she sees the site, I will give her the ring.

 

[gemdandy]

Well done!!!!

 

[Hest88]

I love the multi-stage proposal!

 

[terceslil]

I figure we may go out to eat or I might cook afterward, but that will be a spontaneous decision as I have basically put myself on a spending moratorium since the purchase of the ring. I am usually a very frugal person (some would say cheap) so the ring will definitely surprise her.

There''s not much more that I could do to top the ring itself. It is quite impressive alone.

I am beginning to wonder if she is on to me. I used her Macbook to see how the website would load, and erased the browsing memory, so I don''t think she has seen the website. She was not home when I was working on the website so I don''t think she has seen it... But last night she was just looking at me googly-eyed and grinning as if she knew something.

I wonder if the friend who I asked about her ring size let on that I was asking about her ring size. Ever since I talked to her friend, she has not made any hints about a ring, and it seemed that before that she would say something about a ring at least once a week for the past few weeks before then.

I know I am not going crazy. It seems as if she knows, but doesn''t know WHEN. I knew I shouldn''t have asked her friend what size ring she wears. Oh well.

 

[Hest88]

I wouldn''t worry about it. If she suspects it will just keep her in a good mood and keep her from pestering you about the whole commitment thing.

Plus, no matter what she *will* be surprised by all the actual pieces.

 

[babycush]

I love love love your plan! It''s going to be a special day that you both will remember forever. Do you think you will share your website with friends and family once she has seen it?

Congrats to you and your lovely lady!

 

[terceslil]

I don''t know if I will share the site with friends and family. It''s kind of personal. I shared it with you guys because I was trying to see what ya''ll thought about the idea.

We''ll see.

 

[reader]

Does the happy bounce waiting to hear what she says. Oh, I wish you much good luck!