my first and only FMIL rant- yes, its a vent.

[charbie]

my FMIL who has seemingly not made any sort of decision for this entire wedding has come out of the woodwork in full tackiness this past week.

first was the whole "oh just cross out the date on the RSVP cards and send them to my cousins."
now she has yet to contact all of them as i figured would happen. i told FI today that it''s too late, and now it''s too bad and horrifying. GRRRRRR.

then she was 2 hrs late to the bachelorette party. we told her the specific time to be there because we needed seats for the bar- and this made everyone late and was a hot mess. then she missed the bridal shower my mom planned because she "forgot" she had volunteered to pick up a shift at work.

i asked her to do ONE project this entire wedding so that she felt involved. she kept saying she would love to do anything, and she would shrug off projects so finally i just gave her one thing to do- i wanted her to be involved. i asked her to find pictures of FI: 1 of him at age 1, 1 of him at age 2, one of him at age 3, etc. for the table number project i''m doing. what does the woman do????? gives me 200 pictures of her son, in no order, with no clue how old he is in any of them. SERIOUSLY??? i asked her about this MONTHS ago and reminded her about it a million times.

today FI was on the phone with her and she began telling him who she would like to sit with, and where his grandmother would like to sit. i slaved over the seating chart. now she''s telling me she needs it changed? so that his grandma can sit with friends, not family?????? um, no. i put family with family. and to change it would be ridiculous since i''ve already emailed the table numbers to my printer for the placecards. why is she soooooooooo last minute?

i have honestly gotten along with her so well up until this point. she''s been great. i feel like she''s disrespecting me for no apparent reason, and all i''ve wanted to do was include her. FI is her oldest, so this is the first wedding. by why is she just so rude?

 

[MagsyMay]

Awww honey, big hugs coming your way!! It does sound infuriating, all of it, and if I were you, I would be FUMING!

I applaud you for taking it in stride MUCH better than I would be doing!

Is this typical behavior for her? Some people are just plain old rude, inconsiderate, or selfish. Unfortunately, there''s likely no changing someone if that''s the way they are deep down. Try not to take it personally. It sounds like you''ve gone out of your way to include and accommodate her and there''s not much more you can do!

Hang in there!!

 

[cindygenit]

Relax charbie!

Your FMIL is definitely acting up for some reason but what''s done is done. Don''t be upset about the bachelorette party and bridal shower anymore.

Stand your ground on the seating chart though! If you allow her to pressure you into doing things she would like you to do, it will set a precedent for her to control you again in the future.

Good luck!

 

[ficklefaye]

oh gosh, charbie, i''m sorry to hear about your FMIL, i don''t really have any advice as i''m feeling a bit frustrated myself, but i hope things improve ((HUGS)) less than two weeks!

 

[cocolaw]

i''ve decided that there are two was to handle this: laugh--because so much of the stuff that they sometimes do doesn''t even seem like something someone would do in real life, or keep notes and publish a really funny mil book one day

. i think that the most important thing to realize is that whether she has told people that she is losing her son (my fmil!), or she is just thinking it, or she is threatened, or doesn''t like you (that can''t be it).......it''s HER problem. yeah it can be a pain, but it''s better to watch them be bitter and petty (and self-destruct) than to let it eat at you. be the classy woman that your fiance fell in love with, not the miserable woman he is stuck with.

good luck

you are going to be a beautiful bride, and don''t allow any of her desperate actions affect you!!!

 

[ficklefaye]

hi charbie, i''m back in good spirits after talking to my mom, so i wanted to offer my two cents on your FMIL, if she is anything like mine, she doesn''t know her place in the whole wedding scheme, FI is the first wedding among her children, so it''s all new to her too, she wasn''t even going to go to my shower because she didn''t even know what a shower was

although, if she did agree to do something and didn''t do it, then i''m not sure what to make of it

maybe she is sad she will be losing her baby boy!

ok that was a half joke half guess

if your FMIL just doesn''t seem to care, i agree with cocolaw that it is how you react to the situation and i''m sure you''ve already let it go by now

 

[charbie]

thanks ladies!

i think she just always is this way. she is a huge procrastinator, and thats a big reason FI likes to always be early or on time to things because it has bothered him his entire life. she isn''t a very aggressive person, especially towards me, so i really don''t think she is doing this on purpose. i think i''m just stressed and frustrated.

faye- i''m so glad things worked out w/ you and your mom. i think they all get that way around the wedding, and i''m glad you two finally got to talk. it isn''t easy!

 

[bee*]

whoops wrong thread!!