Moving with a baby!~med school

[blondebunny]

Okay... so after doing some research and talking with DH.... we decided that third year of med school during his clinical rotations is when we want to have our first child! DH asked me numerous times if it I really wanted to move with a baby, and i keep telling his yes... but i am not sure what im getting myself into! hahaha Okay so I have some dilemmas and would like some advice pretty please

-Okay so apparently we will be moving during 3rd and 4th year (so 2 yrs total)... we will be in some places for 3 months (maybe a little more) and some places only 6 weeks..maybe even 2-4 (although i might let DH just go alone since its a short period and I might stay at our current place at the time or with DH''s parents. I am going to try to get DH''s rotations scheduled so that we can be in certain places for the longest period of time (hopefully 4 months)... but what do i do about a nursery and baby stuff??? I pretty much need to plan a portable nursery!
---If you mommies out there can give me some advice on somethings that you loved having for you baby during the first year of their life...and the stages that you bought it... would be wonderful... I am thinking we could also store some of the stuff at the in-laws as they will have all of our other stuff and some of the rotations are by there house so we can always go to pick up stuff... I am kinda sad thinking that our baby wont really ever have the same nursery... but i plan to decorate each place we go...but with stuff that goes up and comes down easy.

--what can i do to make our life easier.... i have already started using coupons more, we are cooking more (love my crockpot!)...

---what can we do with the baby to save money?? I already plan to breastfeed for as long as possible, and i obviously cant work during the 2 years as we will be moving, so i figured it was a good time to have the baby as its free daycare and i get to see my baby group up and breastfeed and what not... I plan to save the next 2 years until we have the baby (i will be living rent and everything free for 2 years so all of my income besides groceries will be saved up!)

any other advice would be appreciated. Although our plan probably seems crazy to some of you...it works for us and we are excited to be able to start trying in a year and a half. We figured out lives with never be any easier and we would like atleast 2...probably 3 kids and we arent getting any younger (almost 26-me and 25)...so first baby will be hopefully 27-28 for me...and then wait till mid residency for the second baby.

Thank you so much!! Off to bed!

 

[Sabine]

I''m confused...my dh graduated from med school last year, but we didn''t move at ALL during the 4 years of school. During 3rd and 4th year clinical rotations, he did have a few months where he had a rotation that was so far out of the area that he had to stay somewhere away from home, but I want to say in the 2 years he had, 4 maybe 5 away rotations? And 2 of those were optional ones he did at Navy hospitals because he''s in the Navy and wanted to check out his options for after med school. And they were a month at most and he was provided housing (and though I could have gone and stayed with him, they wouldn''t accommodate our dog so I never did more than go visit). We definitely weren''t moving. The accommodations were things like pre-furnished hotel studios with a kitchenette.

I have a 9 month old and dh is currently doing his intern year of residency (so it''s very similar to clinical rotations...he''s on a different service each month still instead of doing what he plans to specialize in), and honestly, I can''t imagine having dh work the hours he does during some rotations PLUS trying to move and find new housing and take care of a baby at the same time. If this truly is what you''re going to do, I would look into putting as much of your stuff in storage as possible and just take the bare necessities with you. I can''t imagine moving a crib, let alone a whole nursery...I would just have LO sleep in a pack n play.

 

[icekid]

Hmm, I did not move during med school either. That said, if you are going to need to move that frequently with an infant I might reconsider timing plans. Most babies thrive on having a routine and it might be really difficult to settle into one with moving that often.

And Sabine definitely knows the pain of being the primary, often sole caregiver. In our family, this is reversed since I am the resident doc and my husband has the "normal" job. But he is well-aware that he is going to be doing much more work than the usual father. Make sure you are mentally prepared to be a single parent at many times.

 

[luvinlife]

I believe BlondeBunny''s DH was accepted into medical school in the Caribbean (btw congrats

). Third and fourth year rotations work a little differently for Caribbean med student than they do for US grads.
What I discovered BlondeBunny was that in order to keep the ball rolling it was often necessary to move. For example, If someone had just finished their medicine rotation in Orlando and Family practice in NY has a slot (and it was green), it was worth it to move. Many nonstudent wife’s or husbands stayed home with their families to eliminating the need of paying for housing in two locations and work.

While I know you are going to "try to get DH''s rotations scheduled so that we can be in certain places for the longest period of time", it is not so easy. This is based on both board scores and openings. Make sure your DH becomes best friends with his coordinator. I used to send mine cookies and birthday cards.

Best of luck

 

[MakingTheGrade]

I guessed that it would be a Carribean school as I don''t think other move much (unless they opt to do an away rotation as a Sub I).

In terms of cost cutting, if you have any relatives who''ve recently had kids, they can be great resources in terms of maternity clothes (I hear that stuff is quite pricey as it''s "specialty") and other supplies they may not need anymore. Breastfeeding will savea bundle too. And in terms of expense, it sounds like food and housing will be the big things, and you can probably go through google to find good tips on how to manage that. Haha, I know I''ve saved some money unintentionally by never having time to each lunch while on surgery rotation!

Just be prepared that you may not see much of your husband during his rotations as the hours can be very demanding, and it doesn''t sound like you''ll have much family around to help. Just try not to get too mad at him when he''s never home to help with the baby, it''s probably not his fault!

 

[swingirl]

Since you aren''t even starting to try for 1 1/2 years, and it could take 6 months to a year to conceive and then there are 9 months before you even have a baby, if I were you I wouldn''t worry what you''ll need 3-4 years from now. So many things can change. But it''s a good idea to start saving now.

 

[cara]

Yeah it is a long way off.... but I will say that my friend had her daughter sleep in a pack n play and the bassinet of her bugaboo stroller for the first 6 months, after which they moved out of the country. They bought a proper crib in the new country, the crib being more necessary when the little one can stand up/pull up and all. Another person I know, her husband is a professional ball player so she ended up cosleeping in hotel beds with her LO, even though she didn't think she would be the cosleeping type. But I guess that with that much traveling it helped establish routine/comfortable place for the baby. You will be a super-minimalist on the baby stuff if it works! You also might end up staying put in one place for a while while your hubs goes off for a month rotation at X location.

But I have to say that 3rd year med school sounds like a horrible time to have a baby - unless you are up for the single-parent thing. The classwork years 1 & 2 are hard but they are flexible hours and hopefully his schooling would be stationary ie. you would not be moving around all the time. My husband did a *lot* of non-classroom stuff during med. school year 2. A lot - like at least a full time jobs worth of stuff not related to med school, probably more. His classes were pass/fail though, and he studied hard for the month before the big test and scored well enough to get into his desired specialty at a good school. I guess a bit depends on what specialty/residency program you are angling for, and how much of a stretch it is relative to your test-taking skills and other preparation to get whatever test score you need for your goals. Med school year 4 was also a more chill than year 3, but it did involve a lot of interviewing IIRC.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Date: 5/11/2010 1:58:47 PM
Author: MakingTheGrade
I guessed that it would be a Carribean school as I don''t think other move much (unless they opt to do an away rotation as a Sub I).

In terms of cost cutting, if you have any relatives who''ve recently had kids, they can be great resources in terms of maternity clothes (I hear that stuff is quite pricey as it''s ''specialty'') and other supplies they may not need anymore. Breastfeeding will savea bundle too. And in terms of expense, it sounds like food and housing will be the big things, and you can probably go through google to find good tips on how to manage that. Haha, I know I''ve saved some money unintentionally by never having time to each lunch while on surgery rotation!

Just be prepared that you may not see much of your husband during his rotations as the hours can be very demanding, and it doesn''t sound like you''ll have much family around to help. Just try not to get too mad at him when he''s never home to help with the baby, it''s probably not his fault!

Old Navy has maternity clothes.

 

[Lanie]

I'm not a mom yet, but my biggest piece of advice for you is to put your timelines aside. Have them as a frame of reference, but like someone else said, things don't go as planned and you could get pregnant sooner/later than you hoped. Timelines usually are guidelines and aren't followed, no matter how hard it is to try.

My best advice...save for the baby now, worry about the logistics when you see that second line. You'll stress yourself out for nothing this early on.

Congrats on your DH getting into med school!

 

[blondebunny]

thanks for the responses...

Yes my DH will be attending St. George''s university this fall, but i will not be going down there, as it is impossible to get a job there and DH doesnt want me to get bored with nothing to do either. I will be staying with his parents, so i will have an awesome support system. We originally thought about having a baby in the 2nd year, but with not being able to actually control when the baby would come, would prove to difficult as DH obviously wants to be there for the birth and is only home for a month at a time, then gone for 4, and as you all know, babies can come early and late, so it would be hard!

I know not everyone would be able to handle having a baby while moving and him in med school, but i know we will be fine well maybe stressed and stuff hahaha but life is only going to get harder!

I have known from day 1 in our relationship that if we were ever to get married and have a family that i would be a single mom most likely because of his dream to go to medical school, which i have always supported I definitely already know what it takes for him to achieve his dream, so its definitely something I have been expecting for a long time, and not anything new that I need to get used to. I think if anything its going to be him getting used to not being able to see me so much. But after all of it we will have the rest of our lives to be together, so its nothing that is going to stand in our way of him achieving his dream

Also, as much as we would like to count on our family to help, we know we wouldnt really get any help from them other than money (which is very nice) but not always the help you want we would never let our child into my moms house (think of like a hoarders episode-its bad!) and well... MIL didnt really even raise my DH, and loves her career too much to reallllly be able to help, but its cool, my momma raised 3 children as a single mother on a teacher salary, so i have nothing but faith that DH and I will be fine. Ive come to conclusion that if I get everything in order now, and figure out as many logistics as possible then hopefully that will help us!

Oh... and as far as our timeline.. we plan to start TTC in Dec 11/Jan 12 so hopefully sometime in Oct-Jan baby I plan to go off of BC in like October of 2011... so we have all of that figured out and we know it takes time to get pregnant.


Maternity clothes- well i am hoping that since I am very thin already, and already fit in XS-S clothes that hopefully I wont have to really purchase maternity clothes that are rather epensive but just size L in somethings.

 

[cara]

um, mat clothes are a different shape than regular clothes. I bought bigger regular clothes in the first trimester and quickly outgrew them cause your waist/abdomen simply keeps going out out out! And its pretty uncomfortable to have clothes with a regular style waist on squeezing my belly, which is the only way to hold them up if they are a big size. Even loose tops are creeping up my midsection in front, so unless you want to be showing off your preggo midriff some preggo clothes are in order. But you don''t have to spend a ton on maternity clothes - i''ve bought from old navy, gap, and motherhood maternity and those are all fairly inexpensive, especially on sale or whatnot, and probably shipable.

But that is getting way ahead here! Good luck with your plans.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

BB, sorry to break it to you but maternity clothes are a necessary evil. Actually they're not that bad these days, they're designed to flatter the pregnant body and highlight the good parts, not the bad. The day I officially made the switch I felt SO much better about myself. See, I started out a size 6 and in the early days of pregnancy just bought larger clothes because I refused to go into maternity. Not only did I end up super uncomfortable, but my clothes didn't fit me properly in the end. I had to buy a size 14 just to get the buttons to close, but the butt and legs just sagged like you wouldn't believe. So I went out and bought a few select items, a pair of jeans, a few pairs of pants, etc. most of it is actually about the same price as regular clothes, at least the stuff at Gap is. It's so much nicer to buy a size small/medium in maternity and have it fit and look flattering than to buy a 14 because it's on sale.

When you're pregnant your hormones really rule your life. Anything you can do to make yourself happy and to boost your self confidence is going to help.

You're a gorgeous girl and you have nothing to worry about with maternity fashions and there's no need to buy an entirely new wardrobe. I don't recall what you do for work (model maybe?? can't remember), but unless you need to wear suits every day to work I think you'll be OK with just a few basics. And yes, some of the stuff can be non-maternity clothes like yoga pants, etc, but there's nothing better than a pair of jeans that makes your legs and ass look great.

 

[Guilty Pleasure]

I also think it would be best to start saving, but quit crystal ball gazing too much. You''ll drive yourself crazy (or your husband). I am in a similar situation - newlywed, about to move overseas with a military husband who will be absent at least half of the time, hoping to have our first child during that time - and keep reminding myself to enjoy the life I have now instead of obsessing about planning the future.

Once you reach a certain point, you can''t just buy bigger clothes, because you don''t get bigger everywhere... you just need extra fabric in the front. If you buy larger clothes, you''ll look kind of silly with baggy shoulders, too much material in the back and a skirt hitched up in front that is several inches shorter than in back.

Also, I''d just like to make a note about calling people "single moms" when they are having limited help from husbands. While I fully acknowledge that one parent may be doing a lot of the work on their own, I think this loose use of the term detracts from the tough job that truly single mothers have - working to make money AND taking care of the children is a whole separate level from taking care of children by yourself while your husband earns money. I bring this up, not as a way to gripe at anybody who has said it, but just as a way to acknowledge the tough job that single mothers have. I will be doing a LOT of child raising on my own while my husband is deployed, but I by no means consider myself a single parent as that paycheck coming in will make my life much easier than a single mom''s.

 

[pennquaker09]

Having grown up in a medical family, and having a DH that''s done both residency and a fellowship. I''m not sure if I would want to have a baby while my DH was still in clerkships and rotations.

Like, even now, with him having a full-time position with relatively great hours, it''s still hard because he''s not here until it''s time for baths and what not. Plus, without knowing the specialty, I don''t know if I would have kids during residency. DH had a pediatric residency, which isn''t super competitive or anything, but it was a lot of time. We weren''t far enough along in our relationship to be considering kids at that point, but if that would have been the case, I can''t say I would have done it. While we were in the South and somewhat close to our families, other than financial assistance, we wouldn''t have had any help. His hours during residency were crazy and he wasn''t paid very well. Plus, as a resident, and depending on the program of course, there are more on-call hours. Having a baby means less sleep, so that on top of a demanding residency is kind of stressful. More stress on him equals more on you

Even with the best grades and performance, you never know how the Match/interviews will work out. DH was one of the chief residents, had stellar grades, and USMLE scores and when he applied to fellowships he didn''t match initially. So, the scrambling ensued and they found him a spot, but he had like, a day to give them a decision and he had to be there the following week. I could have never imagined having a kid during that.

It''s great to support your DH while he''s working hard to achieve a goal. I think all of us that have spouses in medicine have to make a 100% commitment, even if we have to put something we want to do on hold. But, one thing I learned from my grandfather, father, and now, my DH is that the dreams continue to evolve and change. My dad didn''t set out to go into anesthesia, it''s something he figured out very late in his schooling. A lot of people go into medical school thinking they want to specialize in one thing, but by the time the clerkships and rotations come around, they''ve changed their minds. Going into cardiology was something my DH didn''t decide until he was an attending physician. And, as a result, our life is completely different than what we both initially planned. And with his decision to enter into a more competitive career, I had to resign myself to moving.

Financially, residency (and fellowship) years leave a lot to be desired. My DH would do rounds for his fellowship and supplement that with shifts in pediatrics. Of course, we didn''t have kids at the time, and he was doing that with kids in mind. He''s fortunate that he didn''t have an med school debt, because even though he does well, that kind of debt would definitely change things. He went to one of the more expensive med schools in the US, so I can''t even imagine the costs of St. George''s.

And, I can''t stress the importance of a good support system in place from med school through residency. Personally, I felt like I should be able to take care of the twins, and the house, and DH, etc. But there was a point when I realized that I couldn''t do it all and that I needed assistance.

 

[Sabine]

I got most of my maternity wardrobe from ebay and the rest from old navy or on clearance from kohls (if you go out of season they have last season's clothes on clearance). I actually really liked a lot of my maternity clothes.

I've been debating about whether to say this or not, but what the heck, I'll go ahead and say it. I know you think you will make due, and I'm sure if your plans work out the way you want them to, you will find SOME way to survive, but I don't think you grasp how exponentially hard it will be. It's probably not my place to even try to tell you, and I probably wouldn't have listened to anyone who tried to tell me that having a baby during intern year would be harder than I could imagine, but, well, it was.

My dh had his surgery rotation when ds turned 2 months old, and I honestly barely survived. I questioned whether I had ppd, I cried most days, and I found myself wishing away my time with ds so that he would be older and more manageable. There was a recent thread here asking if any women regretted having kids so young, and I honestly admitted that I don't know if I would have done it when I did if I had really known how hard it would be. Dh has had difficult rotations since then and it's taken a toll on our marriage as well. I honestly think the only thing that got me through this year was knowing that his schedule will be completely different next year (putting residency on hold and being a flight surgeon in the Navy).

GP is right that it's totally different being a mom whose spouse is so busy working that they can't help than being a single mom. I didn't have any financial worries, but I did have to worry about taking care of ds and myself on my own, plus worry about taking care of my dh and our marriage and not letting resentment take over, so it's a whole different emotional burden.

But I do wonder, if you dh is still going to be in school and you are staying at home, what are you doing for finances???

If you do proceed with this timeline, it seems a bit preemptive to be giving advice now, so if your timeline does work out feel free to msg me then about how to survive, but I will add my 2 livesavers...we sleep trained by letting ds CIO at 4 months. It was heartbreaking to do, but I was severely sleep deprived and this honestly made such a HUGE difference. And join a mommy's group...I think I've spent more hours with my friends from that than with my dh this year. They get it.

Good luck!

 

[cara]

GP, good point on the single mom thing being not quite right for when one parent does all the childrearing for some period of time but still has their spouse contributing financially to the household... my friends and i do use it for a bit of shorthand to mean someone is doing all the childrearing but its good to note that real single moms are also doing all the breadwinning as well and less of the marriage-maintaining and husbandcare. Though in BB''s potential case, her husband will be spending money on school and not earning it in the early years, so its more that as a couple they will be investing in his future breadwinning ability rather than him actually serving as breadwinner during that time.

BB, like Sabine I am reluctant to say anything since you are certain of your plans. I am still a little confused about why you couldn''t move to be near your husband during the classroom years of med school and do the newborn thing during his second year, and then be a little more mobile during the toddler years, but I''ll just point out one thing that struck me about your posts. Its great that your DH has a *dream* of being a doctor, but once you have kids things change. For you and him both. I''m not saying that to say that he shouldn''t pursue it or anything, being a doctor is a good profession usually! but that you guys should go into it with more motivation than just it being fulfilling a dream. Its a career. Its a means of support for your family. The training will take ungodly amounts of his time, and at times that will put a strain on you and your marriage and his ability to be an involved father. Just for example your comment about him being there for the birth. Birth is certainly important but so is seeing your child grow up. My husband is a doctor and some of his friends had kids during their most demanding years of training and they missed *a lot*. Now its not my place to say it wasn''t the right decision for their family for them to have kids then but I will say that at least a few of them are wistful about it and what they missed. Others are a little more pragmatic about it - like, well, I missed a lot but spouse and I weren''t getting any younger and spouse took the brunt of it for a few years but now I will be able to pitch in more, etc. I think some of the spouses that had to shoulder the bulk of the childraising also were surprised by how hard it was.

Now I say all this as I am signing up for something similar! Hubs starts clinical fellowship next year and it is time intensive, and I am due a few months in. I am hopeful that I will get off easier than Sabine in terms in the luck of the newborn draw and that fellowship will be easier on my husband than residency but there is the definite possibility it will be rough. From what I remember of residency husband wasn''t fully up to feeding/clothing/showering himself let alone assisting much in newborn care. But we have jumped in the deep end now! So nothing left to do but figure out how to swim when the time comes. Anyway BB I certainly don''t know what timing is right for you and your family but just look at things from as many angles as you can while you are in the planning stages and try to be realistic. Moving multiple times with a baby sounds hard. Being a SAHM in a new place every few months sounds really hard and isolating. Thinks to think about. Good luck.

 

[charbie]

BB: I''m not not trying to pick on you, but many mothers I know with young children can''t even figure out when they can take a shower or brush their hair....let alone decorating a nursery that will only be lived in for a month!

And also on the timing thing...many people are lucky to get pregnant right away, and others...well not so much. Going off BC means you could get pregnant very quickly (that''s what happened to me) or you find out you don''t ovulate. And heaven forbid the timeline gets thrown off by a m/c...which also happened to me. It sounds like you are flexible with the living arrangements, and I think others here speak from experience when they also talk about flexibility of timing.

Best of luck!!

 

[TravelingGal]

BB, I believe in the power of positive thinking. Why not? Self fulfilling prophesy, I say go for it.

Anyway, it''s because you are small that you will need maternity clothes. As someone said, you don''t get bigger everywhere. You''d look pretty awful in bigger size clothes. I think it''s actually the bigger women who can get away with larger sizes and baggy shirts, but it''s still not comfortable...or flattering.

My best advice is that best laid plans could go awry. You may not be able to breastfeed, so think ahead for that possibility. You actually won''t need much. Forget about decorating a nursery. Your priorities will change, and basically it will be about feeding, changing, and trying to get the baby to sleep (all while keeping your sanity). If you''re going to be constantly moving, you''ll need access to a washing machine, a few clothes for the baby, a pack and play, diapers, possibly bottles and formula, swaddle blankets, spit up blankets (cloth diapers work great), a few pacifiers (which the baby may not like anyway) and a monitor if you are not going to sleep in the same room. Carseat if you''re going to have a car. No need for toys.

You do NOT need a portable nursery. You don''t need a glider (would be nice) or any of the other cutesy stuff that make up a nursery. If you truly are not going to be in a place longer than 3 months, you''ll have to wing it. Perhaps something light like a bouncy chair that you can easily pack up and take would be nice, but forget about a giant swing, etc. Unless you are hiring a moving company to do all the work for you.

The best way to save money is not to buy into all the hype and insanity that everyone says you need for the baby. You do not NEED much. Trust me.

 

[iluvcarats]

Hi BB,
I think that it is probably easier to have a baby during med school than residency. Residents work much more than med students. We had dd in the 3rd year of dh''s residency and ds at the end of the 6th year. When he was 6 weeks old, we moved from NY to CA for 2 years for his fellowship (that was rather challenging)Honestly though, when they are little, babies don''t need much. I ditto the pack and play. You''ll need some sort of snugli and I would recommend a bouncy seat. If they can''t climb out of the crib or unbuckle the car seat, you don''t have much to worry about

My dad is a doc, and he had to serve in the Air Force during Vietnam. My mom went to the base pregnant and with a baby. When my sister was born, she made her a little bed out of a drawer. Newborn babies need food, diapers, sleep and love. Then you get the other stuff as you need it.
Good luck to you and your dh

 

[Haven]

Date: 5/11/2010 11:07:32 PM
Author: TravelingGal
The best way to save money is not to buy into all the hype and insanity that everyone says you need for the baby. You do not NEED much. Trust me.

I don''t know anything about babies or med school, BUT, I have a great story about all the STUFF they try to sell you when you have a baby.
DH and I went to Babys R Us or Babyworld or one of those GIGANTIC baby stores to buy a baby shower gift. We printed out this extremely long list of items for which the couple had registered, and neither of us had any idea what anything on the list actually was. We asked a youngish female employee for help, she scanned the list, and pointed out only a couple of things and said "These are the only things they''ll really need." Then she gestured to the rest of the warehouse, I mean store, and said something like "None of this is necessary. It''s all stuff that will just pile up in their house unused."

When the salespeople admit to that, you KNOW it''s all hype!

Otherwise, best of luck to you with all of your plans!

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 5/11/2010 11:27:36 PM
Author: Haven

Date: 5/11/2010 11:07:32 PM
Author: TravelingGal
The best way to save money is not to buy into all the hype and insanity that everyone says you need for the baby. You do not NEED much. Trust me.

I don''t know anything about babies or med school, BUT, I have a great story about all the STUFF they try to sell you when you have a baby.
DH and I went to Babys R Us or Babyworld or one of those GIGANTIC baby stores to buy a baby shower gift. We printed out this extremely long list of items for which the couple had registered, and neither of us had any idea what anything on the list actually was. We asked a youngish female employee for help, she scanned the list, and pointed out only a couple of things and said ''These are the only things they''ll really need.'' Then she gestured to the rest of the warehouse, I mean store, and said something like ''None of this is necessary. It''s all stuff that will just pile up in their house unused.''

When the salespeople admit to that, you KNOW it''s all hype!

Otherwise, best of luck to you with all of your plans!

LOL Haven. It really is truly hype. Don''t get me wrong, there are many products that make a mom''s life easier and more pleasant, but you can make do with so little. I really didn''t have much when Amelia was born. I was going for the Po'' Yellow Trash theme.

 

[Haven]

Ha ha TGal, that''s funny. We''ll probably end up raising our future kids with the bare minimum of stuff necessary. We''re not big on the stuff. DH just about passed out when we walked into that store and he saw all of the contraptions they were hocking.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 5/11/2010 11:56:10 PM
Author: Haven
Ha ha TGal, that''s funny. We''ll probably end up raising our future kids with the bare minimum of stuff necessary. We''re not big on the stuff. DH just about passed out when we walked into that store and he saw all of the contraptions they were hocking.

Seriously, save it for the second and third years when they appreciate all the stuff. Our house is now filled with a lot of crap, but it entertains her, so it''s fine.

I''m a big believer in craigslist for first year stuff. It''s used for such a short time that you can get great deals on hardly used stuff and then sell it for pretty much what you paid if it''s still in good condition.

I wish I could sell all my stuff and make a bit of money, but I have so many friends with babies, that I need to let them borrow things to save money. Which means it''s all going to come back my way again when it''s older and harder to sell.

 

[blondebunny]

Thank you for the replies everyone...

I obviously know that plans always go awry... and with DH and I... we are never lucky enough to have things go our way! lol but we still like to have some kind of plan in the back of our heads

I plan to pretty much save save save the next 2 years. I wont have any living expenses at all.. all i will have are food expenses and any other little thing i want/need (clothing or anything). I am very fortunate I will not have any real expenses for the next 2 years. When DH starts his rotations we will really just have the housing and food expenses ( and some of the hospitals provide free/ subsidized housing for the med students (which is awesome!) We already have a very nice savings, which i hope to add even more too by working, which will help support us through the 2 years. I also have an at home business that provides extra income as well. I know things dont always go as planned...but i like to try to keep a positive look on things because i feel like everytime i think negative..bad things happen so i have been trying to keep a positive outlook on life

Maternity clothes- man i was really mistaken about them!!! I have some other girls who have said they just bought clothes in bigger sizes... poo! lol... but i try to be thrifty with everything I do~ we never buy anything unless its on sale... like really good sale

I was already thinking about how to save money on things that the baby will need... my friend who has a 1 1/2yr old has told me about consignment shops and stuff to get good deals, and we have sold stuff on craigslist before.. but never bought but i have already looked and they seem to always have some nice baby stuff on there~ i was already planning on trying to find a used crib and maybe repaint it or whatever so we dont pay full price.

I know everyone is different and so are babies. I have this crazy thing where i am an amazing multi-tasker..seriously its weird.. i can be doing 8 things at once and never skip a beat. I have never thought being a mother was going to easy. Its actually funny because when i was growing up, I told myself i was NEVER getting married.. and all i wanted was to have a nice job and house to go to a sperm bank and have a baby... by myself! but of course all of that changed when i met my amazing hubby who i realized i wanted to marry like 3 months after we started dating

I think part of the reason I have been thinking baby lately is just because i am a planner.. its in my blood.. all i wanna do it plan...even though no matter how much i plan, nothing ever sticks to my plan I guess it just makes me happy to think i have a plan my brother and i used to plan our futures and how we were going to live together... but unfortunately it never happened and never will For all i know, i could decide in a year i dont want a baby for a long time! hehehe

I think a lot of this steams from MIL... MIL is a nurse practioner who delivers baby for a living... talk about pressure! She was over for my graduation from grad school last weekend and asked about baby timeline... and of course she says everyone is asking her because she delivers babies and so then we get pressure i feel like...

Portable nursery~i meant more like if you had to have a portable nursery, what would you make the necessities? What gets you through it and stuff

Okay its getting long.. I promise im not naive and i know life is a complete gamble... DH and i always seem to have a crazy ride but we always get to the finish line, even if its not how we expected it, all that matters is that love each other and are there for the long run


I love everyones experiences/comments... i try to take everything with a grain of salt because i know you are only trying to give me all of the perspectives I need for us to make a good decision

 

[blondebunny]

OH and to keep stuff to a minimum- which i have been working really hard on lately-going through and getting rid of stuff we dont need nor do we use but have had for 4 years... lol... I think if we do plan to have a LO at the shower to suggest giftcard in lieu of actual gifts so we can use them when we need certain things for the LO.. and also keep some stuff at MILs (they dont mind at all) and they can send some stuff to us as we need them maybe? who knows but things to think about

 

[luvinlife]

BlondeBunny,

Hi Again! Congrats to your DH! St. Georges is a great school. If you don''t mind I will respectfully disagree with someone the posters here regarding maternity clothing. While I do not have children, my three best friends do. What I am providing you with are their experience. They are all size XS, waist 24, height 4''11", and weigh less than 105 lbs. They are all professionals who wear professional attire to work daily and jeans and tops on their "off" time. They NEVER purchased maternity clothing, they simply went up size on jeans and purchase some medium tops. While I recognize that everyone gains weight differently, this is how they managed their maternity clothing woes.

My best,

 

[blondebunny]

Date: 5/12/2010 12:41:57 AM
Author: luvinlife

BlondeBunny,

Hi Again! Congrats to your DH! St. Georges is a great school. If you don''t mind I will respectfully disagree with someone the posters here regarding maternity clothing. While I do not have children, my three best friends do. What I am providing you with are their experience. They are all size XS, waist 24, height 4''11'', and weigh less than 105 lbs. They are all professionals who wear professional attire to work daily and jeans and tops on their ''off'' time. They NEVER purchased maternity clothing, they simply went up size on jeans and purchase some medium tops. While I recognize that everyone gains weight differently, this is how they managed their maternity clothing woes.

My best,

thanks! although it isnt the school we were hoping for... it still is the best caribbean school.. and i know no matter where DH goes.. he will do amazing because he is incredibly smart and has a passion for it I dunno what is going on with med schools this year... DH had a 4.0 in his masters (micro and molecular bio) with published papers, and got a 30 on the MCAT (which i think is awesome-although he should have had a 33..but didnt study the physics section as much as he should as-he isnt very good at it, i had to help him through physics hehe) but he had friends who had like 3.5-3.75 with 35s on the MCAT and still didnt get any interviews in the US! Although a girl with a 24 on the MCAT and like maybe a 3.5? if that?? got in a US med school... i dunno how they pick people... but seems a little crazy... DH says "i wouldnt let that person touch me with a stick!!" lol he is weird...anyways he got into the Honors program that does the year in the UK but we turned it done as its REALLLY expensive... I did the math (finance major) and it was like $110k just in interest for that one year... i told him no way in hell! lol

we are going to try the first semester apart and see how it works... i dunno though lol.. we are never apart... longest time was like a week when he was shadowing some drs at his parents... and i hated that and cried lol i dunno how 4 months is gonna work... but his entire family is overly excited for me to come live with them lol they have all kinds of plans for me and im not even there yet! we are hoping that i just stay busy and dont think about it too much.. but we already plan to use ichat and stuff and send letters and emails and stuff to each other I think it will make our marriage even stronger and just show us how strong our love is i dont think his parents really understand how hard its going to be on us... they always make fun of DH''s uncle and aunt because they dont like to be apart...but DH and I are the same way and I dont think they have realized it yet... LOL... but i am starting a list of things that i want to learn how to do while DH is away to keep myself busy! Learning to sew better, golf (already have clubs!), getting into awesome shape, photography (just got a D5000 for graduation!) and much more! Im sad and excited at the same time.. Ill probably be on here all the time when DH is gone to keep myself busy...

Thanks for the info on the maternity clothes... Because i have rather large boobies and already sometimes have to buy size larges in shirts and they are always too big around my midsection because im a size small there.. i guess ill just have to play by ear and go with the flow!

 

[pennquaker09]

Date: 5/12/2010 12:59:25 AM
Author: blondebunny

thanks! although it isnt the school we were hoping for... it still is the best caribbean school.. and i know no matter where DH goes.. he will do amazing because he is incredibly smart and has a passion for it I dunno what is going on with med schools this year... DH had a 4.0 in his masters (micro and molecular bio) with published papers, and got a 30 on the MCAT (which i think is awesome-although he should have had a 33..but didnt study the physics section as much as he should as-he isnt very good at it, i had to help him through physics hehe) but he had friends who had like 3.5-3.75 with 35s on the MCAT and still didnt get any interviews in the US! Although a girl with a 24 on the MCAT and like maybe a 3.5? if that?? got in a US med school... i dunno how they pick people... but seems a little crazy... DH says 'i wouldnt let that person touch me with a stick!!' lol he is weird...anyways he got into the Honors program that does the year in the UK but we turned it done as its REALLLY expensive... I did the math (finance major) and it was like $110k just in interest for that one year... i told him no way in hell! lol

we are going to try the first semester apart and see how it works... i dunno though lol.. we are never apart... longest time was like a week when he was shadowing some drs at his parents... and i hated that and cried lol i dunno how 4 months is gonna work... but his entire family is overly excited for me to come live with them lol they have all kinds of plans for me and im not even there yet! we are hoping that i just stay busy and dont think about it too much.. but we already plan to use ichat and stuff and send letters and emails and stuff to each other I think it will make our marriage even stronger and just show us how strong our love is i dont think his parents really understand how hard its going to be on us... they always make fun of DH's uncle and aunt because they dont like to be apart...but DH and I are the same way and I dont think they have realized it yet... LOL... but i am starting a list of things that i want to learn how to do while DH is away to keep myself busy! Learning to sew better, golf (already have clubs!), getting into awesome shape, photography (just got a D5000 for graduation!) and much more! Im sad and excited at the same time.. Ill probably be on here all the time when DH is gone to keep myself busy...

Thanks for the info on the maternity clothes... Because i have rather large boobies and already sometimes have to buy size larges in shirts and they are always too big around my midsection because im a size small there.. i guess ill just have to play by ear and go with the flow!

A lot of this depends on the specific medical school. And, being completely thoughtful about where one is applying. I mentioned my DH didn't initially match for his fellowship, but that was due in large part to his applying to a lot of programs in Texas. Texas is one of those states that being a resident is an important factor.

Also, a lot of people apply without enough volunteer/shadowing experience AND in the case of some med schools, scientific research. One can have average MCAT scores and a relatively decent GPA and be admitted to Harvard if they have a great deal of research (hard core research) and experience with patients. The main med school in my home state, Alabama-Birmingham (UAB) isn't a super high ranking med school, but definitely above average. And there, it's pretty much expected that one have a certain number of volunteer/shadowing hours. I think outside of academics, first hand experience is the most important factor because without it, how does one know they truly want to be a doctor?

Anyway, I guess all I can say is, save as much as you can! And maybe buy one of Suze Orman's books and I think you'd have yourself in a good position.

 

[labellavita81]

I know you say that you will be breast feeding... but please dont rely on that to save money. I had planned on breast feeding and I couldn''t, I didnt have enough milk.. so ended up on Formula.... Make sure you put that in your budget... that way if you CANT breast feed your not scrambling for the extra money you will have to spend on bottles, and 140 bucks a month on formula.

 

[labellavita81]

And on the topic of Maternity clothes: They arent really any more expensive then a normal top, I think I probably spent just under 1000 on clothes for the 9 months I was pregnant. To me that didnt seem like alot. I would have probably spent a lot more in the year if I was just buying for myself (normal sizes). I found that buying "larges" in normal clothes just looked sloppy on me.