Mother not even remotely excited about grandchildren-Thoughts?

[lulu]

I wouldn''t worry. I wasn''t that excited but when my stepdaughter had our first grandchild I followed the nurses who took him away for the apgar and tried to appeal his 9. (lol, the lawyer as grandmother) I''ve been crazy about that boy since that moment. I just needed to see him to fall in love. For the next three I was excited beforehand.

 

[cnspotts]

Unfortunately not all women or mother''s are very maternal and fall easily into the roles of mothers and grandmothers. My mom is very much like that. She has never been close to me or my daughter and the older we get the farther apart we become. She has this fantasy that we''re so much alike when in fact we are nothing alike. My daughter has been her only grandchild for 18 years (I was 24) and now my brother and his wife have a 18 month old. Mom has visions of being close to her but honestly she''s already letting that one slip by too. It''s a sad reality, I had hoped for so much more for my daughter but in the end it was lack of interest and participation on my mother''s part.

 

[lilyfoot]

My mom has never wanted to be a grandmother.

FMIL, however, constantly asks us when we''re popping one out

 

[soocool]

I am 53 and DD is 17 and a long way IMO of having kids. I have never given it any thought before this thread, however, my sister is 55 and is chomping at the bit waiting for her DS and DIL to start planning (they married in August 2009- no pressure there.).

Thinking about it, being a grandmother would make me feel old. I still think of myself as a 21 year old in a 53 year old body. I am not bad for 53, mind you, but I am definitely not 21 and exercising, watching what I eat, and wishing it will not make it happen. Just think of your mom not being excited perhaps translates into her feeling old.

I think I have decided that if I am ever a grandmother that I want my grandkids to call me something other than "grandma". Any suggestions?

 

[cdt1101]

Date: 1/12/2010 2:40:36 PM
Author: soocool
I am 53 and DD is 17 and a long way IMO of having kids. I have never given it any thought before this thread, however, my sister is 55 and is chomping at the bit waiting for her DS and DIL to start planning (they married in August 2009- no pressure there.).

Thinking about it, being a grandmother would make me feel old. I still think of myself as a 21 year old in a 53 year old body. I am not bad for 53, mind you, but I am definitely not 21 and exercising, watching what I eat, and wishing it will not make it happen. Just think of your mom not being excited perhaps translates into her feeling old.

I think I have decided that if I am ever a grandmother that I want my grandkids to call me something other than ''grandma''. Any suggestions?

My mom definitely did NOT want to be called grandma...so she''s called Gigi

 

[princesss]

SooCool, BF''s mom has been very upfront with me for several years about the fact that she will not be "Grandma." She''s going to be "Cookie" when she has grandkids. I think my mom''s a little jealous that BF''s mom got dibs on a non-"Grandma" name, because I''m pretty certain that my mom won''t feel like a grandma. She''s still really young, and I can''t imagine the idea of being "Grandma" is super thrilling.

 

[jewelz617]

Date: 1/12/2010 2:40:36 PM
Author: soocool
I am 53 and DD is 17 and a long way IMO of having kids. I have never given it any thought before this thread, however, my sister is 55 and is chomping at the bit waiting for her DS and DIL to start planning (they married in August 2009- no pressure there.).


Thinking about it, being a grandmother would make me feel old. I still think of myself as a 21 year old in a 53 year old body. I am not bad for 53, mind you, but I am definitely not 21 and exercising, watching what I eat, and wishing it will not make it happen. Just think of your mom not being excited perhaps translates into her feeling old.


I think I have decided that if I am ever a grandmother that I want my grandkids to call me something other than ''grandma''. Any suggestions?

My DD calls my husband''s mother "BeeBee" which I think sounds much younger than "Grandma." Not quite sure how she came up with it.

 

[soocool]

Date: 1/12/2010 8:17:55 PM
Author: PinkAsscher678

Date: 1/12/2010 2:40:36 PM
Author: soocool
I am 53 and DD is 17 and a long way IMO of having kids. I have never given it any thought before this thread, however, my sister is 55 and is chomping at the bit waiting for her DS and DIL to start planning (they married in August 2009- no pressure there.).


Thinking about it, being a grandmother would make me feel old. I still think of myself as a 21 year old in a 53 year old body. I am not bad for 53, mind you, but I am definitely not 21 and exercising, watching what I eat, and wishing it will not make it happen. Just think of your mom not being excited perhaps translates into her feeling old.


I think I have decided that if I am ever a grandmother that I want my grandkids to call me something other than ''grandma''. Any suggestions?

My DD calls my husband''s mother ''BeeBee'' which I think sounds much younger than ''Grandma.'' Not quite sure how she came up with it.

Now I am making a list of names I''d like to be called....can''t use Gigi (that''s my friend''s nickname), but am liking Cookie and BeeBee. DD added the name Mimi.

These names definitely wouldn''t make me feel old. My DH thinks this is stupid and DD and I are going to come up with a good name for him.

 

[trillionaire]

My sister and I secretly call my mom ''Muheefy'' and my dad ''Deke Deke''...


I''ll suggest that to my parents for their G-parent names

 

[Smurfysmiles]

I have to agree with they just want you to take your time and enjoy every second of being married before kids

Before our wedding, my dad told me (and anyone else who would listen) that I wasn't (not shouldn't, wasn't) getting married until I was 35 years old

lol. Then I got engaged at 24 and he did a 180. Haha, I think it is just an exaggeration on her part to say wait 10 years

Oh did I mention I wasn't allowed to date until I was 40? Not quite sure how that logic worked lol but it is what it is

 

[miraclesrule]

I do not understand why women in their 50''s wouldn''t want to graduate from a MILF to a GILF! I don''t get the "It will make me feel old" thing. No it doesn''t. It''s a total ego boost. "OMG, you''re a Grandmother. My Grandmother never looked like you!" I usually add that mine is 4 months old and they probably don''t remember what their Gramma looked like at that point in time.

I guess if one didn''t really enjoy being a parent as much as they had thought they would, I suppose I could understand not wanting to be a Gramma. But it''s not the same. Unless one expects Gramma to do all the babysitting and be present in the same town. Some people want to experience more solitude after their kids are grown and don''t want to have to babyproof their home again. Kids are a game-changer for sure.

Me? Oh good lord. I felt sorry for my daughter. I wanted to lock her up and breed her myself because I didn''t want to be a geriatric Gramma. Talk about pressure. I was the worst. Besides, I wanted my daughter to understand how much I loved her and I knew there was no other way.