Moral Dilemma - Advice Needed

[QueenB29]

It sounds like you won't be able to live with yourself if you don't find some way to tell her. I agree with everyone who said you should do nothing until you find a new job. Then, she'll probably ask you why you're quitting. I would take that opportunity to tell her.

You just have to be prepared for the fall out. 1) she may not want to believe you and accuse you of lying 2) she may blame you for ruining her "perfect" family life 3) she may know and hate you for embarrassing her 4) she may get angry at first and then when she calms down be grateful to you for telling her 5) she may just be glad you told her.

Personally, if my DH were having an affair (not a one time, one night thing, mind you, but an actual affair), I would want someone to tell me. If I found out a close friend knew and didn't tell me, I would probably never forgive her. Other than the lying and the betrayal, he's also putting his wife at risk for all kinds of STDs. Besides which, if your friend is part owner of this business, she has every right in the world to know how he's using the company money, especially if he's opening BOTH of them up for an audit. And if she decides to divorce him, her lawyer will definitely need/want that information.

 

[VapidLapid]

It is none of your business.
Start looking for a new job.

 

[Cehrabehra]

I would find another job then I would confront *him and give him a piece of mind along the lines of how DARE he not only do that to his wife, but do that to me and put me in that position and let him know that he needed to grow some balls and do what's right because if his wife came to me and asked me why I quit I would tell her that it was because I could not stand to be in her husband's presence any longer. I would tell him that he ruined his marriage AND my job and even possibly my friendship. Lay all that crap right on his lap - she doesn't deserve to get it all from you. Let him man up or just let them go. Even her.

 

[monarch64]

I've already posted and given my advice, but after reading some of the "you should look out for your BFF" posts I feel it necessary to reiterate. This couple has not sought your marital counsel. You are giving no credit whatsoever to your friend's intelligence; by that I mean do you really think they've been married 20+ years with two children and she HAS NO CLUE? These people are paying your for your WORK. The friendship is a bonus...or is it? Did it ever occur to you that possibly this woman formed such a tight friendship with you because you are the person who spends the most amount of time with her husband, even more than she? Sometimes we women underestimate each other. I really urge you to think rationally about this and act in a way that will work in favor of YOUR best interest and stop worrying over the "friendship." Perhaps if this husband and wife, who took vows and made their relationship legal, had worked on THEIR friendship more, they wouldn't have put YOU in this situation. I stand by my original opinion that this is between them and not you.

 

[Tuckins1]

Really tough situation, but in the end, it's not your place. It sucks that you're so close with them, but it would get you wrapped up in a business/personal issue.

 

[VapidLapid]

I really agree with Monarch64. I just want to add that you do not know the details of their marriage, or any arrangements or agreements on things that they may have come to, yet they keep it looking normal because they both want to give the kids a normal childhood.
If you really think your hand has to stir their pot then keep all your records of his activites for her IF she divorces him.

 

[Amys Bling]

I really agree with Monarch64. I just want to add that you do not know the details of their marriage, or any arrangements or agreements on things that they may have come to, yet they keep it looking normal because they both want to give the kids a normal childhood.
If you really think your hand has to stir their pot then keep all your records of his activites for her IF she divorces him.

good points.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

If he's using company funds for personal things, that opens you AND him up to serious issues with taxes, audits, etc. I would simply tell him "I don't know what's going on, but there have been a lot of purchases not related to the business that I think you need to be aware of and reimburse so you don't get audited."

One of my former partners was using our company to finance his wife's lavish shopping and buy stuff for his girlfriendS plural, and he got NAILED in the audit. One by one you could hear the auditor yell out "Tiffany and Company, is NOT A BUSINESS EXPENSE. Plastic Surgeon NOT A BUSINESS EXPENSE" and so on for like an hour. He had to pay it all back to the company, we had to pay for his indiscretions, and the IRS froze all of his personal assets to make sure there was no more fraudulent spending using company funds for personal use. All of our credit was frozen, and we had to pay a fortune to those companies that decide how good your business credit is. Our AMEX's all got frozen and we couldn't pay our vendors til it was settled. Our accountant was aware of all of it, and ended up being audited herself, AFTER he fired her for not "concealing it" more. It was not worth it.

Yep, everyone here seems pretty focused on whether or not to tell the wife, but the fact is, in the meantime, the IRS is being cheated on, as well. You need to protect yourself on MANY fronts, here!

 

[Laughinggravy0]

Hi for what its worth I'd do what others have suggested here - find another job asap and when you have, tell the man that one of the reasons you are moving on is that there are payments on the books that you don't understand and don't want to understand, but that it seems the he needs to think over what he's up to. And leave it at that - I'd suggest. It might be enough to provoke him to sort himself out.

Then I'd be a friend to his wife because there could come a time when she needs you. But I wouldn't say anything, ultimately, it is for them to sort out and, as others have said, perhaps they have.

But yes, get yourself out of it asap. And good luck with it, it sounds like the whole thing is, not surprisingly, really getting you down. Sweet of your husband to be so so supportive.

 

[Graff_Pink]

I have to say that for the most part the general consensus is that she likely knows. Like some of you said, how could she NOT know who her husband is of 20+ years... although I'm sure it happens and there are women (or men) who end up being blind-sided in the end. And as someone else mentioned, who even knows if this is his first time doing this? I go back and forth on that only because he has been so sloppy in the way he's been carrying on with this woman - and I've been working here for 5 years now - and have never stumbled upon anything before, so his behavior seems so... amateur. But then, perhaps he is just getting cocky and careless if she truly doesn't know (and has never figured anything out) - OR like it has been said, if they have an arrangement he simply doesn't care.

Honestly, it's so hard for me to wrap my head around the idea of an arranged marriage in the sense that two people would come to terms with living... well, a lie. It's very hard for me to fathom - not because I want to judge but more because it seems so empty and sad and so I'm not sure I even understand it. Of course I am speaking from complete inexperience in that arena - and hope to never have that kind of relationship (god forbid!) - so who am I to judge? The only thing I DO know is what it feels like to be cheated on by someone who professes to love you (and vice versa) and it is awful. Terrible. Harrowing. I wouldn't wish that experience on my worst enemy. Well no, perhaps on the woman who was knowingly carrying on with my ex, but I'm pretty sure she's getting hers now!

My friend seems oblivious, at least to me. She truly does - my husband thinks so too. One of the reasons I love her so much is that she is a very honest, very sweet, very good, kind person. She grew-up under very strict parents and was very sheltered, and her husband is the first man she dated (in college), was "with" and has been with for most of her adult life. She is often times naive to the world and how things are - she's not internet savvy or phone savvy or really tuned-in to pop culture. She's a lovely, suburban, stay-at-home, soccer mom type who's life centers around her kids and making a nice home. I do NOT think she is a stupid person at all - she's very bright! - but I DO think her to be very out of touch. Sheltered. Simple likes, simple tastes, simple life. But then... maybe that's her best defense in living with the jerk she's with? People learn to cope in so many different ways. If she opened her eyes and woke up a bit she would see what most people do - but could be she just doesn't WANT to. I don't know. I don't think it's a happy marriage, but I also don't believe she thinks he's carrying on. Again, it's anyone's guess.

Although it makes me feel badly, my first priority will be getting a my work situation in order (hopefully sooner rather than later) and then once I don't have that over my head I will follow my heart from there. Maybe confront him, maybe tell her, maybe just walk away and leave it all alone altogether - I haven't decided and don't know that I can right now. What I do agree with in what most of you said - and including my husband - is that I need to think of myself, our family and our situation first and get those ducks in a row before anything else.

As for the day to day? It stinks. It feels terrible, it's troubling, it's uncomfortable and it weighs heavily on me. So I just can't wait to be out of here and at least feel not so "in the mix" of things!

Again, I really appreciate all of the feedback - and from helping me look at this from all angles.

 

[smitcompton]

Hi,

I take it you don't really like this man. You suspect he is having an affair, but you don't know for sure. I had a boss who took me with him to another job. There was another young woman we had worked with that he also reommended for the new company. We both had also worked with his wife of 30 yrs at the old company. I liked both he nd his wife very much. I also liked the other woman who had come to the new company. At meetings i began to notice him looking starry eyed at this other woman and my slight suspicions were aroused. Every meeting was the same. He was no player and I thought , omg, he has been smitten.

A friend of mine phoned me one day to tell me that He was having an affair withthis woman who I worked with. I asked her how she knew, and she said someone had seen him leave her apartment at 7;30 in the morning. He had a job where he could go out of town..
We discussed if we should tell his wife. We decided not to. The woman ledt the job to move to California and my boss relocated with his wife to Florida. Six months later his wife came to town and we had lunch and did the shopping thing. He told me , the boss, seemed to be having a breakdown of sorts. He went into a deep depression and was very moody. She directly asked me if I knew if he was having an affair with this woman. I said I did not know. She pressed, and I remained firm. I said I did not know.

Six months later the boss was back to being himself. He fell in love, but he wouldn't ever leave his wife. His wife loved him and I did not see any reason to make her so unhappy. They are still married and , for me that was the right road. He also loved his wife.
It happens. Life happens. I think I dislike the serial adulturer much more.

Just a note, You really don't know for certain. Let him know about the accounting discrepancies without letting him know you think he's having an affair. It may shake him up. If you like the man, you may not have to leave. Give him a few hints.


Annette

 

[Amber St. Clare]

You really don't know for certain and you are assuming that because YOU YOURSELF would have wanted to be told about the infidelity this wife needs to be.

It's not your business. She in all probability knows, but chooses to look the other way for whatever reason. You have judged their relationship based on what you would have wanted. You couldn't live with that kind of relationship. Fine. It's not up to you, their employee, to "spill the beans". She may be perfectly fine with it.

I sincerely hope you find a new employer soon. It must be awful working under those circumstances.

 

[distracts]

Despite people saying they may have an "arrangement," I seriously doubt it. If they did, and he could be at least semi-honest about what he was up to, why would he lie to her and use the company money to fund his double life, rather than his own personal money? That to me is the biggest sign that he thinks she has no idea. Now, she may very well know or at least suspect, but it's definitely not something they have discussed and are okay with. Although if it is and he's still opening the company up to such trouble, he's even more of an idiot.

 

[Rhea]

She may suspect, but not want to be confronted with it as she may feel that she has to do something about it then. My parents don't get along. I don't wish to go into details, but they are financially better, though perhaps not emotionally better, with each other than without. I could see one or both of my parents simply choosing not to see something so that they life they have together isn't at stake. Selling the family home and both moving into one-bedroom flats isn't something either of them want for themselves at this point in their lives.

You said that she's a stay-at-home-mother. If they divorce she may have to go back to work. The children may not have such a nice life, a mother home all the time, living in a good school district, moving away from friends. There are lots of things for her to consider. It may not be a verbal agreement, but they may have indicated in their actions that this lifestyle works for them.

I agree with getting another job and then pointing her in the right direction. If she wants to find out, she will, especially with a hint or two from you. If she doesn't find out then I'd assume that she chooses not to see it and values the life and lifestyle they have created more than his fidelity.

 

[Haven]

I've read all the replies and I'm still torn on this issue.

I keep wondering what I would want to happen if I were in the wife's place. I'd want my friend to tell me. But, that's assuming that the wife doesn't know what is going on.

This is such a terrible position to be in. I'm inclined to say I'd do what Cehra described, whether or not it is the correct response.

I hope you can get a resolution to this soon.

 

[iugurl]

You really don't know for certain and you are assuming that because YOU YOURSELF would have wanted to be told about the infidelity this wife needs to be.

It's not your business. She in all probability knows, but chooses to look the other way for whatever reason. You have judged their relationship based on what you would have wanted. You couldn't live with that kind of relationship. Fine. It's not up to you, their employee, to "spill the beans". She may be perfectly fine with it.

I sincerely hope you find a new employer soon. It must be awful working under those circumstances.

Why do you say that? In my experience, few women (or men) know or even suspect their spouse is cheating, if they have an otherwise "good" marriage. I work in mental health and have had hundreds of patients who have come in and told their "side" - that they were blindsided by their spouse who up and left. There have been a lot who started to suspect right before the end, but the affair had been going on 6 or more months. I can only think of 2 that admitted they knew and ignored it...

I think that it is offensive to assume that "intelligent" women would know if their spouse was cheating (only dumb women can be duped?) You would not believe how sneaky people can be! Perhaps not this particular guy, but I have seen some amazing double lives. If a spouse wants to hide something, there are ways to be extremely clever about it.

If they had an open marriage or some other arrangement, why would he need to sneak around, lie, and pay for things out of the business account?

 

[zoebartlett]

I think I'd want to know if my husband was cheating and a close friend knew. However, I also know I wouldn't want to be the one to tell someone else if her husband was a cheater. That would make me really uncomfortable, and really, who knows what goes on in a couple's private life. Maybe this woman has some idea or maybe she doesn't. I guess when it comes down to it, I think more bad could come out of it for you by telling your friend. After securing a new job, I may point out the discrepancies in the books to your boss but stay out of accusing him of having an affair. I just can't imagine going to my boss with that.

 

[junebug17]

Ugh, what an awful spot to be in, I feel for you. And I hear the arguments that she has a right to know, as her good friend you should tell her, etc and intellectually I get it - but seriously, that's much, much, much easier said than done and emotionally it's not that simple. I dunno, you'd be directly responsible for changing the entire course of their marriage, and I just don't think it's fair that you should have to live with that. My gut feeling is you should stay out of their marital issues, get a new job ASAP and get the heck out of there. Yes, you're good friends with this woman but these people are also your employers and that further complicates things.

I agree with Cehra's post as well.

 

[Enerchi]

If you are friends with her and get together socially, etc., what if you posed to her a hypothetical situation?
"Hey Susie, what if you learned something about Mary's hubby - that you THINK he MAY be having an affair, would you tell Mary? or how would YOU handle it?"

Is that totally off the wall and out of the question to bring that kind of thing up??? You know her - we do not.

OR

What if you said to hubby/boss, "Hey Buddy, What if you learned something about a boss's situation and you THINK he MAY be having an affair? How would YOU handle it?" ... but I guess if you were chatting with your boss hypothetically, there's a good chance he'd clue in pretty quickly and then you may not get a good reference as well as you may be fired for knowing too much.

I really was just thinking what would happen if you were honest but not direct....

It is such a tough position that you are in, but as many have said, it is not YOUR job to tell her. You are hired to work for the company, you have noticed XXX happening, you could warn hubby that you have concerns regarding YYY billings, then it is out of your hands. You have done what you have to do in terms of what your job requires you to do.

*(But its the moral thing that is eating at you... got that! Sorry you are in this position!)

 

[JewelFreak]

You have enough advice here to make you dizzy! Tough situation; it's a shame you find yourself in the middle of it.

The advice to 1) find a new job ASAP is excellent. You already know that.

This very dilemma appears in advice columns a lot -- the answer is almost always not to say anything. HE creates the problem & it isn't any of your business, friends or not with his wife. She will eventually figure it out if she doesn't already know. Definitely don't say anything while you still work there!

You can't change other people's behavior -- in this case, painful as it may be for you, the best action would be to get out of the way. Good luck -- and assume NO GUILT -- you haven't done a thing wrong!

-- Laurie

 

[onedrop]

-- the answer is almost always not to say anything. HE creates the problem & it isn't any of your business, friends or not with his wife. She will eventually figure it out if she doesn't already know. Definitely don't say anything while you still work there!

You can't change other people's behavior -- in this case, painful as it may be for you, the best action would be to get out of the way. Good luck -- and assume NO GUILT -- you haven't done a thing wrong!

-- Laurie

I have been reading this thread on and off (and not commenting) trying to determine how I would come down on an issue like this. Although I could see both sides, I was leaning toward saying something perhaps to the husband, or anonymously to the wife, or perhaps spilling the beans to the wife after leaving finding a new job. But Jewelfreak's post completely changed my mind. It's so true -- the husband has created this situation and he needs to be the one deal with it and the aftermath (if it comes to that). As much as I understand wanting to tell your friend, I think staying quiet on this issue is best. I know I am just echoing what's already been said, but I just had to comment, because JF's post just really made sense to me as to why it might be best not to say anything.

 

[marymm]

OP - I agree with everyone who says - get a new job - say nothing to wife - honestly it seems all the info you have on the boss has been derived from the workplace - if your job description includes such oversight responsibilities it may behoove you to document these financial irregularities and present to them to your boss - but unless you report to the wife in the workplace I don't see how you could present any of these irregularities to her without breaching professional ethics? And it does not seem you have any other evidence on which to suppose the boss is having an affair? Not that I'm doubting the conclusions you have drawn, just that you have no support for them outside of what you learned in the course of performing your job. To me, it would be very different if you saw boss outside of work hours in the company of a woman not his wife, then you might naturally mention to wife "oh, I saw boss on the weekend - did you two have relatives in town? The woman he was with seemed so friendly." But as it is, you would essentially be breaching one set of ethics (professional) on which your livelihood depends, if you chose to say anything to wife - AND, really, you can't be sure of what is actually going on, other than financial irregularities in the workplace. Good luck with the job hunt - I hope something comes your way quickly because I do feel for you in this situation.

 

[Autumnovember]

I have to say that for the most part the general consensus is that she likely knows. Like some of you said, how could she NOT know who her husband is of 20+ years... although I'm sure it happens and there are women (or men) who end up being blind-sided in the end. And as someone else mentioned, who even knows if this is his first time doing this? I go back and forth on that only because he has been so sloppy in the way he's been carrying on with this woman - and I've been working here for 5 years now - and have never stumbled upon anything before, so his behavior seems so... amateur. But then, perhaps he is just getting cocky and careless if she truly doesn't know (and has never figured anything out) - OR like it has been said, if they have an arrangement he simply doesn't care.

Honestly, it's so hard for me to wrap my head around the idea of an arranged marriage in the sense that two people would come to terms with living... well, a lie. It's very hard for me to fathom - not because I want to judge but more because it seems so empty and sad and so I'm not sure I even understand it. Of course I am speaking from complete inexperience in that arena - and hope to never have that kind of relationship (god forbid!) - so who am I to judge? The only thing I DO know is what it feels like to be cheated on by someone who professes to love you (and vice versa) and it is awful. Terrible. Harrowing. I wouldn't wish that experience on my worst enemy. Well no, perhaps on the woman who was knowingly carrying on with my ex, but I'm pretty sure she's getting hers now!

My friend seems oblivious, at least to me. She truly does - my husband thinks so too. One of the reasons I love her so much is that she is a very honest, very sweet, very good, kind person. She grew-up under very strict parents and was very sheltered, and her husband is the first man she dated (in college), was "with" and has been with for most of her adult life. She is often times naive to the world and how things are - she's not internet savvy or phone savvy or really tuned-in to pop culture. She's a lovely, suburban, stay-at-home, soccer mom type who's life centers around her kids and making a nice home. I do NOT think she is a stupid person at all - she's very bright! - but I DO think her to be very out of touch. Sheltered. Simple likes, simple tastes, simple life. But then... maybe that's her best defense in living with the jerk she's with? People learn to cope in so many different ways. If she opened her eyes and woke up a bit she would see what most people do - but could be she just doesn't WANT to. I don't know. I don't think it's a happy marriage, but I also don't believe she thinks he's carrying on. Again, it's anyone's guess.

Although it makes me feel badly, my first priority will be getting a my work situation in order (hopefully sooner rather than later) and then once I don't have that over my head I will follow my heart from there. Maybe confront him, maybe tell her, maybe just walk away and leave it all alone altogether - I haven't decided and don't know that I can right now. What I do agree with in what most of you said - and including my husband - is that I need to think of myself, our family and our situation first and get those ducks in a row before anything else.

As for the day to day? It stinks. It feels terrible, it's troubling, it's uncomfortable and it weighs heavily on me. So I just can't wait to be out of here and at least feel not so "in the mix" of things!

Again, I really appreciate all of the feedback - and from helping me look at this from all angles.

Best advice here.

Do what YOU feels right in the end. All of us can say that we "would do this" or "would do that" but regardless I don't believe any of us know what we'd do unless we were in your situation. I hope it works out and you eventually are at peace with whatever choice you make.

 

[Autumnovember]

You really don't know for certain and you are assuming that because YOU YOURSELF would have wanted to be told about the infidelity this wife needs to be.

It's not your business. She in all probability knows, but chooses to look the other way for whatever reason. You have judged their relationship based on what you would have wanted. You couldn't live with that kind of relationship. Fine. It's not up to you, their employee, to "spill the beans". She may be perfectly fine with it.

I sincerely hope you find a new employer soon. It must be awful working under those circumstances.

Why do you say that? In my experience, few women (or men) know or even suspect their spouse is cheating, if they have an otherwise "good" marriage. I work in mental health and have had hundreds of patients who have come in and told their "side" - that they were blindsided by their spouse who up and left. There have been a lot who started to suspect right before the end, but the affair had been going on 6 or more months. I can only think of 2 that admitted they knew and ignored it...

I think that it is offensive to assume that "intelligent" women would know if their spouse was cheating (only dumb women can be duped?) You would not believe how sneaky people can be! Perhaps not this particular guy, but I have seen some amazing double lives. If a spouse wants to hide something, there are ways to be extremely clever about it.

If they had an open marriage or some other arrangement, why would he need to sneak around, lie, and pay for things out of the business account?

Couldn't agree more. I really think that some people do not realize just how sneaky people can be. I have watched some people cheat on their significant other for YEARS and get completely away with it without the SO having the SLIGHTEST idea. Very scary actually. And this isn't just people that are "dating" that I have seen do this, this is married men.

I can see why so many people say not to say anything but I think IF it were me, I'd have a very tough time sleeping at night knowing my best friend (who I believe I know better than anyone else in this world) was being cheated on. And I'm not saying that is how everyone should feel, its just that I know our friendship and I know what it can and can't handle if it ever came down to it.

 

[missy]

This is a horrible no win situation and I am sorry you are dealing with this. Whenever I have a terrible dilemma I think what would I do if this involved my family? And that sometimes helps clear the path for me. I know if it was my sister who was being cheated on I would be compelled to tell her because my loyalty lies with her over any other sense of obligation. Right or wrong.


I understand the reason most people are saying stay out of it and if that feels right then there is your answer but for me, if I was really close with this person, I would have to find a way to let her know. Not sure how I would handle it as I have thankfully never been in that situation but I would try to figure out the best way. There is a risk to your friendship with either option of course but it's what you feel is the best course here. There is no easy solution with this sad situation though.

If she was an acquaintance or a casual friend I would definitely stay out of it though. I am answering your question based on the fact she is one of your best friends.

And of course, no matter what you do, I agree wholeheartedly that you should try and find a better working situation as soon as you are able. Which may be easier said than done.

So sorry you are in this mess and I am sending good thoughts your (and your friend's) way.

 

[Graff_Pink]

I feel like every day I am being tested by The Universe.

- Yesterday as I was leaving the office my friend gave me a card - just because - which I read later and it was basically a friendship-type card letting me know how much I mean to her, how glad she is to have me in her life, how happy she is that we are friends and that she loves me. COME ON! These are the evenings when I sit on the couch and weep because I feel like the WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD, a fraud.

I feel like I'm on that show "What Would You Do?" but no happy reprieve from John Quinones bursting around the corner saying "it's just a TV show!"

Those of you who said that I am an employee and need to draw the line are SO right. I couldn't agree with you more, in fact. But it's moments like these that make me stop and question myself, and am reminded about the person who married to my boss or not, is still a dear friend. She was the first person I called when my husband proposed to me! So it's difficult to separate myself and say "work is work" and "friendship is friendship" because over the course of the years I have been here, they have bled into one another. It certainly was not my intention but it's what happened.

Like many of you said, there's no right answer and it's not an easy situation at all. As anxious as I am to leave, it will be difficult too.

You have no idea how much comfort you have all brought me in the sense that I feel less alone. I have only voiced what's going on to my husband (and one close friend who lives out of state) because I want to respect my friend's privacy and don't want her troubles to be public knowledge (whether she knows those troubles exist or not).

Fact is, all the answers sound right in theory - not telling her, telling her - but the REALITY is where it becomes unbearable. I just wish he would man-up, come clean and tell her himself - and of course break-off what's going on with the other chick. Why can't HE just do the right thing?

This has also been a time of reflection about my own marriage - feeling happy and safe with the wonderful man I love, but wondering if this is always the way it ends? Or what it becomes? I feel like all I hear are stories of infidelity in marriages and it is so... disappointing (what an understatement). When I married my husband in my heart of hearts I was "in it to win it" - and still am! - but it's so scary to see what people will do to one another (and how people will also settle). Of course I have no idea if they have an arrangement or she looks the other way, but I have to assume when they married so many years ago and they took their vows that she thought to herself "and I promise to be okay with the idea that he'll step-out on my one day." Who EVER takes those vows? Sad.

 

[Amys Bling]

It def is sad to see here they are now...

 

[MissStepcut]

I once was in a similar situation and told the friend, with proof. She not only stayed with him, but was mad at me for a year after. People don't always react the way you think or wish they would. I vote for saying out of it, because I will never get myself mixed up in that sort of thing again.

 

[Autumnovember]

I once was in a similar situation and told the friend, with proof. She not only stayed with him, but was mad at me for a year after. People don't always react the way you think or wish they would. I vote for saying out of it, because I will never get myself mixed up in that sort of thing again.

True. People don't always react the way you think or wish they did but that can be true on the flip side too. It's very possible that she WON'T react the way your friend did.

 

[Amber St. Clare]

I hope you search for a new job is successful~ and immediate.