Clio
Brilliant_Rock
- Joined
- Jan 13, 2007
- Messages
- 809
Haven, I had my first two while I was in graduate school, so I wasn't in a job, but getting a Ph.D. is pretty much full time. By the time I had my 3rd, I had a full time job, and I've worked ever since, and I'm quite happy with the choice we made for our family. My kids are now 11, 9, and 5, and they're thriving.
There are many reasons I chose to continue school/work. First, I flat-out adore what I do. The intellectual stimulation I got from my studies and continue to get from my work are vital to me. And, frankly, we live in a very high-cost area, so my income (which is roughly the same as my husband's) allows us to live in an excellent school district within reasonable commuting distance for both me and my husband.
My mother didn't work until I was 7, but I didn't feel any imperative to recreate that for my family. The switch from coming home to mom in 1st grade vs. going up the street to my baby sitter's house in 2nd really made no difference to me (although I do think it affected my sister more). My husband came from a culture where women tend to work, and the women in his family are very entrepreneurial, and we both planned that I would continue to work after having kids.
I was very unhappy in my first job out of graduate school, and we did talk about having me take some time off, but the better solution for me was to find a different job.
In then end, though it is a choice that only you and your husband can make. What is right for one person/family could be very, very wrong for another.
I would only caution you to plan carefully. I'm sure you know all of this, but good insurance is a must. Make sure to put plenty of money away for retirement as well, because you will be losing years of SS/401K contributions.
MC's point about trying to re-enter the workforce is a good one, though I imagine that it would be easier as a teacher than in many other careers.
ETA: I know no one meant it in a pejorative way, but comments about staying home because one wants to raise ones own children or not wanting to have children raised by others are not exactly helpful. Both my husband and I are raising our children, even when we both work full time and use childcare.
There are many reasons I chose to continue school/work. First, I flat-out adore what I do. The intellectual stimulation I got from my studies and continue to get from my work are vital to me. And, frankly, we live in a very high-cost area, so my income (which is roughly the same as my husband's) allows us to live in an excellent school district within reasonable commuting distance for both me and my husband.
My mother didn't work until I was 7, but I didn't feel any imperative to recreate that for my family. The switch from coming home to mom in 1st grade vs. going up the street to my baby sitter's house in 2nd really made no difference to me (although I do think it affected my sister more). My husband came from a culture where women tend to work, and the women in his family are very entrepreneurial, and we both planned that I would continue to work after having kids.
I was very unhappy in my first job out of graduate school, and we did talk about having me take some time off, but the better solution for me was to find a different job.
In then end, though it is a choice that only you and your husband can make. What is right for one person/family could be very, very wrong for another.
I would only caution you to plan carefully. I'm sure you know all of this, but good insurance is a must. Make sure to put plenty of money away for retirement as well, because you will be losing years of SS/401K contributions.
MC's point about trying to re-enter the workforce is a good one, though I imagine that it would be easier as a teacher than in many other careers.
ETA: I know no one meant it in a pejorative way, but comments about staying home because one wants to raise ones own children or not wanting to have children raised by others are not exactly helpful. Both my husband and I are raising our children, even when we both work full time and use childcare.