Moms, need your opinion re: job situation

[fieryred33143]

Boss sent me an email (yes while on mat leave) with our audit plan for the year. I am scheduled to go “country hopping” in November when DD will be a little over 4 months. The trip is scheduled for 2 weeks but I know I can get it done in just one.

My boss pretty much sent over the hotel and flight info but at the end he asked “will you be able to?”

Here are my options:

1. DD will be watched by MIL during the day. I can leave her here with MIL during the day and FI at night.
2. Leave her with MIL all week to sleep over.
3. Have my mom either stay in my home for a week or take my daughter to her house for a week
4. Pay for my mom and DD to go traveling with me
5. Just say no
Here are my thoughts on each:
Of options 1-3, I would feel 1,000 times more comfortable if my mom were taking care of DD. MIL is ok to take care of her during the day but I wouldn’t want DD sleeping there overnight for that long of a period. I honestly don’t feel like MIL can handle her. As for FI, he’s great with DD but when he sleeps, he sleeps. Nothing wakes him up. DD has been crying before while I’m in the shower and he’s in the bedroom with her snoring away. So that would worry me. And my mom is just wonderful with her.
Option 4 would be ideal but super expensive. The last time I went on a trip like this, it cost $10k in flight fees. Of course that was business class but I wouldn’t have my mom sitting in economy while I’m in business. And I *think* infants have to pay for international flights but not sure.
Option 5 is what I really want to do but something I’m really nervous about. I want to be considered for a management position and while I know they’ll understand, it’s corporate America and saying no stays in their minds for a long time.
Any opinions, advice, other suggestions? Please keep in mind that my goal is to breastfeed for at least six months and I’m hoping to still be bfing at this point.

 

[neatfreak]

I would either have your mom come and stay the week with your FI or I would bring DD and mom if you can afford it (I believe infants pay 10% of the international fare on most airlines unless you want her to have her own seat? IIRC).

Unless you think that they really will be ok with you saying no-I wouldn't in this economy unless you can afford to lose your job. It sucks, and yes it's illegal to fire you over having a baby, but it isn't illegal to fire you because of non-performance. So only you can know what your employer is like.

Good luck Fiery-I'm sure you'll make the right decision. I'm going to a conference in a few weeks and I don't want to leave my LO's either! When I went away for 2 days a few months ago I pumped and dumped and DH fed our little guys from a stash I had built up.

 

[gailrmv]

It's really too bad that you have to go on this trip so soon after mat leave

Could your mom stay at your house with your DH and together take care of your DD?

Personally I would not want to take my baby on an international trip. I think it would be a huge hassle, without the benefit of enjoying a vacation (since you will be there for work). Plus with the H1N1 and seasonal flus starting up, I just wouldn't chance it. Plus, your mom would be looking after DD in a foreign country without the conveniences and familiarity of home. Seems like a lot of costs and not too much benefit IMHO. Just think of all the gear you'd have to bring - what if your luggage were lost? Yikes.

While I know it sucks to be in this position, look on the bright side - you have a good job, and several capable, loving people willing to take care of your DD!!!

Also - while you are gone, you can enjoy being in the grown-up world again. You get to eat restaurant food without being interrupted by crying! You get to sleep through the night - in a hotel!! You don't have to clean the house!!

Hey, can I go on this trip?

 

[gailrmv]

Re: Breastfeeding. I think if you bring a pump you should be able to keep your supply up. It may be hard to build enough freezer stash ahead but maybe you can if you start early. At the worst case you can pump and dump while away. Meanwhile your baby is fed a mix of breastmilk from your freezer stash and as much formula as needed to get her through. Then you can get her back to BFing as soon as you get home. It is definitely less than ideal but I am sure you will be able to make it work. I applaud you for being so committed to BF''ing. I hope to continue it for a long time too! (5 months so far!)

 

[sbde]

fiery it seems like you''d be most comfortable having your mom around so i vote for having her take care of DD either at your place or her own. also shortening the trip to one week will help and as tandogmom said you cna continue to pump. you may not even have to dump it really because you can bring breast milk back if you want (someone i knew did this during her vacation to the caribbean).

good luck!

 

[Lorelei]

I would get your Mom to look after her.