long lost friend do you re new contact?

[scarleta]

I shall try to make it short.
Would you re-new contact with someone who was your friend over 20 years ago ( briefly only couple of years or so and decided then to terminate the friendship without a reason?

She contacts you "out of the blue" from another country and asks " so what''s up?" while you still trying to figure out who is on the other end of the phone?

She is surprised you don''t recognize her???
Give me a break after so many years how could I possibly recognize that voice that changed so much and I never expected to hear from her again.

She asks you "so do you want to keep in touch".
Out of politeness I say Yes, ( what else could I say all surprised )
but really I don''t think so?

No reason for her silence given then or now.
I recall I was shocked years ago when she suddenly broke all contact with me and never responded to any of my correspondence.I did try for several months years ago, but she did not respond to any correspondence.
We moved to different countries.
How to politely say no thanks?

 

[neatfreak]

If she pulled out of the friendship years ago without explanation and offered none now, I probably would just not make any attempt to keep in touch now. If she offered a reason and you enjoyed her company, then why not. But I would be cautious in the friendship at first.

 

[Skippy123]

What does your gut say?

 

[scarleta]

Skippy:my gut says "NO!!!"

 

[Skippy123]

Date: 10/20/2008 9:48:47 PM
Author: scarleta
Skippy:my gut says 'NO!!!'

Is it in email or through the phone. Don't take her call if you have caller id? eta: I would just write her a note and say you rather not be in contact. Or wait and see if she calls you? Tough one.

 

[Diamond*Dana]

If your gut is telling you no, then that is what I would go with.
My best friend from high school and I lost contact and we were very close for about 6 years. We have tried a few times to keep in touch, but things are not the same...we are not the same. I find that I have nothing to really talk with her about except for the past. We just grew apart and are too different now.

 

[scarleta]

"neatfreak"
If she pulled out of the friendship years ago without explanation and offered none now, I probably would just not make any attempt to keep in touch now. If she offered a reason and you enjoyed her company, then why not. But I would be cautious in the friendship at first.

So you''d just ignore her attempts? if any ?
I was kind of indifferent ( I mean how can one catch up after so many years in one conversation?
I hope she sensed it and perhaps won''t pursue that.(she is highly intelligent).

Skippy:"Is it in email or through the phone. Don''t take her call if you have caller id? eta: I would just write her a note and say you rather not be in contact. Or wait and see if she calls you? Tough one.


It was a phone call and when she offered me her number I declined and I also declined to take her email , but gave her mine when asked for it.How can I possibly send her a note I don''t have her address or anything else.
Like I said she is highly intelligent so maybe that did the trick?



DiamondDana:"If your gut is telling you no, then that is what I would go with.
My best friend from high school and I lost contact and we were very close for about 6 years. We have tried a few times to keep in touch, but things are not the same...we are not the same. I find that I have nothing to really talk with her about except for the past. We just grew apart and are too different now."

I''d say go with my gut fillings too.Yes you are right about growing apart and being different too after so many years.

 

[UCLABelle]

Personally, I see nothing wrong but I the longest non-contact friend I re-connected with was only 12 years----sometimes people just miss people. But who knows?!

 

[:)]

Listen to your gut. I would just ignore her phone calls and emails. Something is suspicious. If she had come to a real epiphany about how great you were, what a mistake she made, etc then she would have brought all of that up at the beginningwhen she first contacted you. You have moved on and have new friends and a different life now.

ETA: one of the clues here is that you didn't just drift apart and are now reconnecting - you noted she abruptly ended the relationship without known reason.

 

[scarleta]

UCLABelle:
"But who knows?!"
That''s what I say too.



"Listen to your gut. I would just ignore her phone calls and emails. Something is suspicious. If she had come to a real epiphany about how great you were, what a mistake she made, etc then she would have brought all of that up at the beginning when she first contacted you. You have moved on and have new friends and a different life now.

ETA: one of the clues here is that you didn''t just drift apart and are now reconnecting - you noted she abruptly ended the relationship without known reason"
You worded it so perfectly right.Thanks and yes something here is a bit suspicious.One of my friends told me that perhaps she needs something? Who knows and as you put it " she abruptly ended the relationship" years ago.I was wondering why and did my best to reconnect to no avail.
So listen to your gut I shall do just that.
Thanks to everyone again.