LIW Writes to Carolyn Hax

[KimberlyH]

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/hax/326346_hax06.html

 

[iwannaprettyone]

Very cool. Great advice too...even if the true hurts sometimes.

 

[gwendolyn]

It makes me feel a little worried that she''s afraid to sit down and talk to him seriously about their future together. I have two friends who''ve been dating each other for 6.5 years and she''s wanted to get married for the last 5.5. Every time I mention having a serious discussion about it with him, she flips. Says that''ll just push him away. *shakes head* Not a good indicator of their relationship, methinks....

 

[luckystar112]

Having a talk kind of IS a catch-22 all in itself!

There are 3 possible scenarios:

1. BF tells you that he doesn''t want to get married. Well, okay, there''s your answer. But what do you do now? Break-up because you REALLY want to get married one day, or, if the relationship is perfect otherwise, do you live harmoniously unmarried with him forever?

2. BF says he isn''t ready.....YET. Hmmph. Now you think to yourself, "Why not? What''s wrong with me? Why isn''t he sure yet?"
Of course, he''s already told you that it wasn''t YOU, but you know it must really be, and so you want to bring it up again but you''re afraid to annoy him. You want him to tell you a calendar date that he will be ready. lol. Meanwhile, you wonder if he''ll ever be *ready* and you drive yourself crazy. You try to wait a while before bringing it up again.

3. BF is ready to get married. Sometimes, like in my case, it goes scenario 2 and then scenario 3. When that happens....of course you are ecstatic, but you wish you wouldn''t have had to ask. Deep inside, you wonder if he''s only ready because you pushed these talks on him. All of a sudden he''s talking about your wedding and excited about buying the ring. You wonder what changed between then and now. But you''re happy...so you get over it. Hopefully.
If BF is ready to get married the first time you bring it up to him......wait.....has that ever happened? lol. Well then I''d suspect that you''d be very happy, but wonder why he didn''t think of it himself.