cara said:I guess I am still somewhat confused that your DH's reaction is to avoid confrontation with his mother at all costs, not get you out of a bad living situation if there is a reasonable alternative. Why is not confronting his mother more important than you having a reasonable living environment?
I'm confused about this too. If it was me, I'd be out of there. From everything you've posted, it sounds like she would be better off without you and the kids there. I guess I don't understand something in the dynamic.
FWIW, you have done your fair share of trying to make this relationship work. It's up to your DH to mend the relationship from here on out. I know this because I used to have a terrible inlaw situation too. The thing that worked was simply not being around them. It's amazing how far "up" the totem pole I went by simply being completely absent! Meanwhile my husband was the one keeping in constant touch, etc. I still have to remind him when to call and send cards sometimes, but on the whole everything is much better now. (it is 27 years down the line, something had to give)
Anyway, good luck and hang in there. There must be some sort of end in sight, even if you're counting down the hours. Don't take it too personally either. It may be a mental or physical issue playing with her moods or something. You never know.