Ladies in Waiting help! Rules to proposing?

[ndhawan]

Sorry the proposal ideas channel gets no traffic so I'm posting here. Hoping to get some ladies advice for my girlfriend. So I am thinking of proposing in about a month or so. We met at a hospital, and we enjoy road trips. She has a teenager daughter and I'm moving in around the same time as well. She knows I bought a ring and is expecting a proposal soon. One of our first dates we went to this town in Michigan called South Haven. I was thinking about making a weekend there at

http://www.carriagehouseharbor.com/

However any ideas on how to propose while there? I was going to call South Haven's visitor's bureau and ask what there is to do around there. There is a lake which we walked around years ago on our first date. Do I have to give a speech? This is more nerve-wracking than I expected.

 

[madelise]

Yes. Don't make her wait too long. It doesn't have to be unicorns and rainbows. Just propose. I'd rec you propose BEFORE you arrive to your weekend destination, so she can enjoy the whole weekend in engaged bliss rather than spend the whole trip nervously anticipating the proposal, and resenting the wait. Yes, we do think to ourselves often, "Why hasn't he proposed yet? That would have been the perfect opportunity!" and getting annoyed. I think it'd be perfect to catch her off guard, and propose when you pick her up to head out. She might anticipate you proposing while arrived at location, but may not think you'd propose in her driveway. This way, you can incorporate her daughter in to the proposal if you like. Have her nearby to take photos? Celebrate with some dessert and champagne before you head out? Well, no champagne for the daughter but at least she can join in the dessert!

I don't know anything about the location you linked to, but it looks lovely.

 

[ndhawan]

That's a good idea. The teenager hates the world and won't participate at all. I really like this idea though. We like road trips and I could setup a picnic on the way to South Haven. So I don't need a big speech then. Just a "Will you marry me?" I'm really excited to propose. One of our memorable dates was a picnic actually. That would work really well.

 

[madelise]

That's a good idea. The teenager hates the world and won't participate at all. I really like this idea though. We like road trips and I could setup a picnic on the way to South Haven. So I don't need a big speech then. Just a "Will you marry me?" I'm really excited to propose. One of our memorable dates was a picnic actually. That would work really well.

No big pressure filled speech, but a few nice things is good before the "will you marry me". Be honest, and most importantly, be YOU. It's not romantic if you're being phony and just doing what society wants you to do, and spit out lines from Shakespeare while busting out into a flash dance. That's just cheesy. Tell her a few sentimental lines, and how much you appreciate and love her, and maybe pinpoint a specific thing you love about her, to add an extra personal touch. Don't go for excess, go easier on yourself and aim for "simple and sweet", and heartfelt.

A surprise picnic for the drive up sounds fabulous. If the teenager is in her teenage angst years, yeah, maybe don't include her then..

 

[ndhawan]

That makes me feel better. I can make sandwiches. She will like me to cook something. Have no cooking skills though. We don't drink and she doesn't eat meat so that makes it somewhat easier.

 

[madelise]

That makes me feel better. I can make sandwiches. She will like me to cook something. Have no cooking skills though. We don't drink and she doesn't eat meat so that makes it somewhat easier.

If you think she'll like you to cook something, try. When my SO made me my favorite Chinese soup (he isn't Chinese), I nearly cried out of joy. It tasted like $hit, and it looked like nothing it was supposed to look like, but the fact that he drove around to different ethnic super markets to collect foreign ingredients, and spent hours slaving in the kitchen for something that would have taken me 20 minutes? It was a priceless gift.Try something new that you think is risky, but safe enough that you can try to pull off. Michigan is FREEZING this time of the year, no? How about some hot creamy tomato soup in a soup flask, and some fancier sandwiches? Hot panini with fancy cheeses? You can wrap them up in tin foil, and put them in an insulating hot/cold cooler next to the soup, so they stay warm. Hot cocoa with marshmallows? What do you guys like to eat on cold days?

 

[madelise]

Gruyere grilled cheese, with shallots? You can caramelize them, too, or use onions instead.
http://mlovesm.blogspot.com/2012/10/gruyere-grilled-cheese-with-shallots.html

 

[madelise]

sundried tomato soup? http://www.fifteenspatulas.com/gruyere-grilled-cheese-with-sundried-tomato-soup/

 

[Rhea]

You don't need a big speech, it just needs to be from the heart. Taking her to the lake and making a picnic is a great idea! Most people just want a bit of effort from their loved one.

 

[LaraOnline]

Wow, Madelise, you are a fantastic picnic-planner!
Rhea, you are bang on.

I have read some amazing threads about some amazing proposals on this forum. I wonder if searching has brought anything up for you, ndhawan? Some are very, very elaborate.

My proposal was NOT elaborate.

We went to a pretty park over-looking the water (why? I don't know) and we were just sitting on the grass (okay, maybe we were cuddling a little eek) and my ff just said 'it'.

Actually I thought praps he was joking, it all seemed so easy and unplanned. (no ring for this proposal, although afterwards he wanted to drive straight to the store lol).

But for all it's casual-ness it was still THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.

Hope it is for you and your intended, as well.

Have a great time!

 

[madelise]

I love planning Most of my ideas in my head are unused. I have come up with a million ways my SO can propose, but I refuse to share them with him. He needs to plan his own! Heh. But I love sharing with others.

 

[audball]

Great ideas madelise!

I do agree not to wait longer than you have to. Ladies get anxious, hence this forum!

 

[gatorblue]

madelise has it right - no need to go overboard, just showing that you put some thought and effort into the whole thing will be more than enough to sweep her off her feet!

I second the soup & sandwiches idea - how cute! Good luck!!!

(PS - madelise, I am the *same* way ... I can dream up a romantic proposal scenario for every place we go, but I won't share them with SO because I want him to plan his own!)