Gwyn
Brilliant_Rock
- Joined
- Jan 5, 2007
- Messages
- 745
Is it me, or do people here feel like guys could wait forever and not even notice?
Ill apologize in advance for the length of this post
Background info: My bf and I have been together a little less then 2 years. I moved with him across the country and away from all my friends and family for his work this past August. Before this, we had "the talk" and I told him I would not make that kind of commitment to us unless I knew that marriage was in the future (within the year). Which he was fine with.
Because we now live in California and all my family is in NYC and Boston area, I am not planning to make it home more then a couple weeks a year. My sibling is getting married this summer and, around New Years my boyfriend and I got to talking and I told him that I would like to have a ring by their wedding so that I would be able to show my friends and family when i went out there for the week of the wedding. He said that that was "doable".
Around March the topic of engagement had not been brought up and I mentioned that, since I was interested in an asscher stone (which can take some time to find the one thats pattern speaks to you) and a custom setting that could take up to 6 weeks, that he should probably start looking (or atleast take an interest in what I was showing him). That way we would be sure that it was here and he had enough time to plan things by July (my sibling's wedding). He got all freaked out saying he didnt remeber anything about getting engaged by the wedding and how he thought he had all the time in the world. and Blah blah blah for like 10 mins.
I asked him when he was planning on proposing that July was "SO SUDDEN" for him. Which, of course, he had no answer for. I do not understand how guys minds work. We had a conversation in August 06 that we would be engaged within a year (before we signed another lease together since our current one expires in Aug 2007). And then in January 07 we talked about making the deadline early July so I could show my friends and family back home when i visited. I do not see that I made things any more difficult by bumping it up ONE month. Also, he said he didnt have anything planned yet, so it wasnt like i ruined something he was working on. PLUS he still had 4 months to get something ready by July.
Since that last conversation in August we have picked up a diamond and sent it out to be set (we should get it this coming Thursday) but I am still having issues with that last conversation we had. He said that he was just freaking out b/c it was coming up and he felt he hadnt planned or prepared himself and he wanted it to be something special and he didnt want to mess it up and he apologized for over acting. And I know i should believe him, but now I feel like I had to convince him to get engaged, instead of him just doing it on his own...
I feel bad because I am getting what I want, so I should be happy. is it wrong to want him to want it too? He says he does, and that he wants to do this so maybe I am just over reacting... But, I dont know...that conversation and him saying "WHAT? I never agreed to that!" still sticks out in my mind =(
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Ill apologize in advance for the length of this post
Background info: My bf and I have been together a little less then 2 years. I moved with him across the country and away from all my friends and family for his work this past August. Before this, we had "the talk" and I told him I would not make that kind of commitment to us unless I knew that marriage was in the future (within the year). Which he was fine with.
Because we now live in California and all my family is in NYC and Boston area, I am not planning to make it home more then a couple weeks a year. My sibling is getting married this summer and, around New Years my boyfriend and I got to talking and I told him that I would like to have a ring by their wedding so that I would be able to show my friends and family when i went out there for the week of the wedding. He said that that was "doable".
Around March the topic of engagement had not been brought up and I mentioned that, since I was interested in an asscher stone (which can take some time to find the one thats pattern speaks to you) and a custom setting that could take up to 6 weeks, that he should probably start looking (or atleast take an interest in what I was showing him). That way we would be sure that it was here and he had enough time to plan things by July (my sibling's wedding). He got all freaked out saying he didnt remeber anything about getting engaged by the wedding and how he thought he had all the time in the world. and Blah blah blah for like 10 mins.
I asked him when he was planning on proposing that July was "SO SUDDEN" for him. Which, of course, he had no answer for. I do not understand how guys minds work. We had a conversation in August 06 that we would be engaged within a year (before we signed another lease together since our current one expires in Aug 2007). And then in January 07 we talked about making the deadline early July so I could show my friends and family back home when i visited. I do not see that I made things any more difficult by bumping it up ONE month. Also, he said he didnt have anything planned yet, so it wasnt like i ruined something he was working on. PLUS he still had 4 months to get something ready by July.
Since that last conversation in August we have picked up a diamond and sent it out to be set (we should get it this coming Thursday) but I am still having issues with that last conversation we had. He said that he was just freaking out b/c it was coming up and he felt he hadnt planned or prepared himself and he wanted it to be something special and he didnt want to mess it up and he apologized for over acting. And I know i should believe him, but now I feel like I had to convince him to get engaged, instead of him just doing it on his own...
I feel bad because I am getting what I want, so I should be happy. is it wrong to want him to want it too? He says he does, and that he wants to do this so maybe I am just over reacting... But, I dont know...that conversation and him saying "WHAT? I never agreed to that!" still sticks out in my mind =(
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