just wondering...could you/would you do it????

[snowflakeluvr]

live abroad i mean??? my husband''s career at his current company has come to an impasse. we are debating whether relocating when our 2nd child graduates high school in may to where my dh commutes almost weekly, or considering other opportunities coming his way. he is very unhappy at his current company, works a great deal, they''ve had some serious financial issues(ie no big bonuses for dh-has affected our lifestyle somewhat, he is ready to move UP but there''s nowhere to go, etc)
he has something of an opportunity in china-i am not sure if we''d live in china, or singapore(that was mentioned, and dh doesn''t have many details yet) but at first he discounted it, but now we''re kind of mulling it over.
we have five kids, one in college, one ready to graduate, one in elementary and two toddlers-just pondering if something like this could be workable for our family. i have a bit of wanderlust, and interest in other cultures but want to be really realistic about choices we make for our family.
what do you think about this???? has anyone done something like this? loved it? hated it?
thanks for insight. dh and i just want to be open-minded and our lives have been in a bit of a rut, with some serious health and financial difficulties the last two years. we are wondering if there are possibilities out there we need to consider.
thanks

 

[gailrmv]

Personally, I probably would not (live abroad), but I am not very adventurous. I'd be thinking about all the logistics and that would keep me from doing it. I'd love to go for an extended vacation though!

 

[pennquaker09]

For me, it would totally depend on the country.

 

[D2B]

Definately, have done so three times and happy to do it again.

The main thing for us was to research it properly, get your package sorted out, eg health, houes allowance, furniture etc. Our contracts were for a set period when at the end we were relocated back home. In the back of my mind I always knew if worst came to worst, we could come home early (lose some money, but come home). overall it has enriched our lives and given us great experiences. It isnt the easiest of options, but it definately is enriching. My theory is always at the end of your life, would I have regretted not persuing this exciting new venture.

If health is a concern definately get good expat health cover. You can rent out your home (giving you somewhere to come back home to if and when you chose to do so). There are some expat forums on the net, I dont have the details, but I am sure if you type in expat forums into google you will come in touch with people who are in the country you are considering and can give you some insight and feedback. Every country has different challenges and different opportunities/rewards.

How easy or hard it is will to a large extend depend on the package you can negotiate. We have friends who have their childrens schooling paid for in an expat type school, have paid for help for set hours a week etc, get to fly home once a year etc. Some places have fantastic networks for expat women, toddler groups, social networks etc - singapore from memory has a great expat set up, but again, it is worth talking to others who are there at the moment.

Good luck, how exciting to have this opportunity to consider.

D2B

 

[Deelight]

Would I: YES in a heartbeat Could I: definitely without a doubt

You would have to take your own circumstances into consideration, but really nothing is all that permanent you can always move back after a while if you truly hate it. I would do some definite research into the possible places you would like to move and work in and see if they match up to your comfort levels .

 

[Independent Gal]

YES! In a heartbeat. But then, I''ve already lived in 5 countries, and currently live ''abroad'' since the US is not my native land.

If you have little kids, I suspect it would be a much easier transition to move to Singapore than to China. Everyone in Singapore speaks English, it is throroughly modern, hyper-safe, and has one of the best health care and education systems in the world. So just thinking about your kids and their education, that might be something you would want to take into account. Some people say Singapore is a little dull, but I actually really loved it there (and considered applying for a job there) and if you want excitement, Malaysia is a 30 minute drive away, Indonesia is a 2 hour boat ride, and many other countries are a hop skip and jump by plane.

Besides, dull (and SAFE) aren''t so bad when you''re thinking about raising little kids!

Oh, and the food is AMAZING. Oh so good.

Personally, I''d move to Singapore in a heartbeat, and it''s a place I''d be very happy to raise kids.

I''d move to China too, but that is definitely a more ''adventurous'' option.

If you have wanderlust, what are you waiting for!?!? WANDER! But this from me, who views the prospect of ceasing to wander with horror. Seeing new places and experiencing new cultures is one of the great things of life, for me. So I''m biased.

 

[chrono]

Absolutely. Singapore is a very safe option; the culture shock isn''t as great since the city state/country is very modern, clean and everyone speaks English. The school system is also very advanced. I have lived in that area many years ago so I would not mind heading back there again. China might be a bit more of a challenge but if you are up for an adventure, then China is the place to go to.

 

[nytemist]

I want to so badly! Although I wouln''t be going very far (only to Canada) The othe place I''d love to go is London. I have such the urge to go go go, but my husband really doesn''t.

My aunt is thinking of moving to China. She''s been there many, many times over the past 10 years or so and is comfortable enough with the language to consider it.

It''s a much different case since you have children. We only have cats. But I think of some of the friends I have who were military kids and spent time in many differeny countries. At first they weren''t thrilled about it, then were excited to be in a different culture and learning about the world from a non- U.S. point of view. I say if you can, do so.

 

[zoebartlett]

I like the idea of looking into forums where there are people who have moved abroad or are considering doing this. If I were going to move to a foreign place, it would depend on where and for how long (those would be some of the important things to think about but not all). My FI would move to Ireland in a second if given the opportunity, and I really love the IDEA of it. I''m a homebody though so I''m not sure I would if it came right down to it. It''s actually something my FI and I talk about occasionally, so maybe I''ll come around.

If you found out that you''d be away from home for 1-3 years, or some other definite period of time, that might make it easier to make a decision. It would for me anyway. As others have suggested, do as much research as possible. Getting as much information as possible will hopefully help you make the right decision for you and your family.

 

[lyra]

I probably would try it if it were a term contract that meant there was an "out" somewhere within sight if things didn''t work out. We did at one time consider a move to Singapore, but the kids were fairly young and I thought the culture shock might be too great for me (I hate crowds and small spaces). But we''ve also looked at England, Europe, Australia, Dubai (no thank you), Barbados and the US. I''m somewhat adventurous when it comes to moving, so it would be something I''d look forward to actually.

 

[gwendolyn]

I would do it, have done it, and am currently doing it. It is challenging but is sooooo rewarding, and would teach your kids infinitely more than anything they can learn in a classroom (says this teacher

). It is a great experience, and I''m excited for you and your family at the possibility!

 

[Haven]

I would definitely do it. We have friends who just moved their entire family to Brazil (three kids, ages 9, 6, and 2). The only difficult part for them was that they had to leave their aging dog behind.

Absolutely broke my heart.

I''m hoping we''ll have a similar opportunity one day.

Good luck with your decision!

 

[zoebartlett]

Date: 12/28/2007 1:57:47 PM
Author: gwendolyn
I would do it, have done it, and am currently doing it. It is challenging but is sooooo rewarding, and would teach your kids infinitely more than anything they can learn in a classroom (says this teacher

). It is a great experience, and I''m excited for you and your family at the possibility!

Hi Gwendolyn! I know you''re in grad school but I didn''t know you''re also teaching in England. Did you look into a specific teaching program (exchange or other)? How did you make it work, logistics-wise? I know you''re now with your boyfriend, so that must make it a lot easier.

Sorry to threadjack for a minute...

 

[ChargerGrrl]

yes, yes, yes I would do it!

A good friend just got word that his "abroad assignment" was approved. He takes off next June for 9 months near Amsterdam. He''s getting a great package- the company will pay his mortgage here at home, and or course all his relo expenses. The deal is great for him, and it''s an ideal time to do it- he''s in his late 20''s & single. He works at DH''s company, but in a different dept, so the opportunities are a-plenty for him.

 

[Elmorton]

I nearly went out of my head when I studied abroad in college...I can''t begin to describe how amazing the experience of living abroad was, but when I boarded the plane to come home, I was very, very ready to return. When I came back to my friends and family, I felt like I''d been in a coma - there was so much catching up to do and I couldn''t believe how much I''d missed, even though I had a cell, e-mail, and instant messenger the whole time I was gone. I love love love travel, but the experience of living instead of vacationing (well...you know what I mean...I suppose it was just like an extended vacay, but it was definitely a taste of living outside of the US) in another country made me realize that I''d never choose live abroad - just not in my genetic makeup or something.

That said, I''m soooo jealous of my friends who have struck out and gone to live somewhere far away and/or across the ocean(s)!

 

[iheartscience]

I would move abroad in a heartbeat! My brother lives in Sweden (his wife is Swedish) and my other brother lived in Germany for 3 or 4 years (he was in the military). Both enjoyed/are enjoying the experience a lot. I would love to live in Singapore or China! Singapore seems like it would better for kids, though. There was a thread here a while ago by Cehrabehra about this exact thing, and a lot of people who had done it or had researched it chimed in. I would search for "moving to China" or something similar and see if it pops up.

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 12/28/2007 2:24:38 PM
Author: zoebartlett

Date: 12/28/2007 1:57:47 PM

Author: gwendolyn

I would do it, have done it, and am currently doing it. It is challenging but is sooooo rewarding, and would teach your kids infinitely more than anything they can learn in a classroom (says this teacher

). It is a great experience, and I''m excited for you and your family at the possibility!

Hi Gwendolyn! I know you''re in grad school but I didn''t know you''re also teaching in England. Did you look into a specific teaching program (exchange or other)? How did you make it work, logistics-wise? I know you''re now with your boyfriend, so that must make it a lot easier.


Sorry to threadjack for a minute...

Hiya, Zoe! Sorry, I didn''t mean to imply from my post that I''m currently teaching in England, because I''m not. I am working (at one of the college libraries), but mostly just attending grad school. I am, however, looking into what sorts of teaching jobs I can get if I stay in England next school year. I think it would make a lot of sense to do it (if I can stand to be away from my family and friends) because I''d be earning in pounds sterling, but paying my student loans in US dollars--since the pound is currently twice as strong as the dollar, it''d be like cutting my loan payments in half! Assuming I can get a job, that is--I''ve got 10 years of teaching experience, but it''s all in the US, and I''ve heard various things about whether or not UK schools will count any of it because it was obtained out of the UK.

And am with my boyfriend for breaks and the occasional weekend, but he still lives 200 miles away from me while I''m at school, which is a vast improvement over 3000+ miles apart, but not quite ''with'' him completely yet. Soon, though.

 

[monarch64]

Yes! If DH or I were presented with the opportunity or even discovered an opportunity to pursue (to live abroad), we would totally do it. Now, we don''t have children yet, so obviously we don''t have that to consider...but life is short and we would see it as a great opportunity to experience something totally new, exciting, and enriching. Like someone else mentioned, if you aren''t happy once you get settled, hey, at least you tried it and you can always move back to the States.

I wouldn''t say I''m a very adventurous person, change is tough for me, but every time I''ve made a big change in life I''ve looked back later and thought I adapted pretty well.

We have a good (single) friend who found out he would be spending time in India and Japan this past year. He is definitely not the most adventurous guy even though he''s single, so he was ummmm, cautiously optimistic. He hated India but only stayed there for about 6 weeks. After that experience he was pretty nervous about living in Japan (3 months total) but when he came back he had absolutely fallen in love with the people and culture. He now cannot wait to go back. I think if he found a wife there he''d never come back to the U.S. The experience has really changed him for the better.

 

[snowflakeluvr]

thanks everyone for your insightful replies! dh and i had an afternoon sans children together, running errands, lunch and we discussed all of this a bit more. have to wait and see what transpires. exciting and a little scary at the same time. has anyone seen the movie parenthood? where the old, old grandmother describes life to steve martin and mary steenburgen about life being like a rollercoaster? she implies that it''s scary as heck but worth the ride! i am trying to get dh to see this about the second half of our lives, especially since we have more children to raise all over again. thanks again.

 

[kellyfish]

I have no idea what it would be like to live in China--but the stereotype is that it is really crowded and people live in really small quarters--I am wondering if it really like that. It would be really hard to live in a small apt with 3 kids if you are used to a lot of space.....anyone have any input?

 

[perry]

Living abroad can have many advantages. Just do good research and make sure you get a good package.

Concerning the carear delemna and advancement within the company.

My observation is that very few people actually directly climb the corporate ladder in a company. What most people do - is to take a better position with another company (i.e. - move up elsewhere), and then they have an opportunity to return to the original company several years later at a higher postion yet (often at 2 or more levels above where they were).

Companies pay more to retain people, and advance people, who are both good and who have demonstrated that they will move on to other better oportunities elsewhere.

By not being willing to leave - the indication is that you will accept whatever they will give you (regardless of ability and quality of work).

Thus, almost certainly the best thing your husband can do for his carrear is to find a position elsewhere.

Perry

 

[TravelingGal]

For a year or so, sure.

For the rest of my life...interestingly, no.

The interesting thing I''ve learned by traveling is that home is truly sweet home.

 

[Logan Sapphire]

I would! Then again, we don''t have kids, so that makes things a lot easier. However, when my sister and I were 3, my parents packed us up and moved to Kuwait for 5 years for my dad''d job (not military). At that time, Kuwait wasn''t on people''s radar screens at all, so it was considered a hardship tour. We found a wonderful expat community as well as amazing friends from various countries, so I would say it was one of the best things we''ve ever done.

Good luck!