Joint checking, or separate accounts?

[crossmyfingers]

I was thinking about this this morning. I''ve heard really strong opinions for and against having a joint checking account. What do you plan to do, or think that you will do, once you''re married?

BF and I make around the same income, and we''re both pretty reasonable with money. I think we might keep our separate accounts and also put a significant amount of our income into a joint account. Then we can each have our own money for clothes, entertainment, random things, but have the one account for our bills.

 

[Luckyeshe]

FI and I are doing both as well. We''re gonna keep our separate accounts but put 65% of our incomes into the joint account and the left over is for our separate accounts. It''s so that if one day he decides to buy a boat, he could do so with his own funds and I wouldn''t have any say on it. Plus we could buy each other presents and the other wouldn''t know how much it cost.

 

[princesss]

We each put a set amount into our joint bills account for shared expenses (food and ultilities), and we put in extra if we''re saving up for something together - furniture, a trip, etc. Rent is paid separately since we have a weird living situation. Everything else is separate.

 

[sunnyd]

We kept everything separate until we got married. It was a pain to write checks back and forth, but well worth it. A friend of DH''s ex-girlfriend ran away with all of his money from the joint account and he had to file bankruptcy. Not good.

 

[elrohwen]

DH and I have totally combined accounts since the wedding. When we were just living together, we had joint checking and savings accounts, but we also had personal accounts. Now we've moved all of our money into our joint accounts and just share those. I just find it so much easier to have less accounts and for both of us to have access to them.

We discussed keeping our individual accounts for "fun" money, but agreed it's not necessary. We discuss most purchases, even small ones, just out of habit ("Hey, I think I am going to get that new video game/book/dvd when it comes out"). We're both equally careful with money, so we don't have a problem with this method. I think if we had different feelings about how much money we should be spending on personal things, having separate accounts would make sense so one of us didn't feel the need to police the other's spending.

 

[pinki]

We keep our checking accounts separate and just divide bills between each other. We have a somewhat joint savings account that we both have direct deposits into. I say somewhat because his name isn''t on it...he didn''t want access, didn''t want the temptation. He''s not a saver so he preferred it that way.

We don''t plan on joining our accounts after our wedding. We like that we can each use our money for what we want and not feel guilty about it. If I want something dumb like a $500 purse I run it by him, but his response is always "What Baby Wants, Baby Gets"...I love that man. If he wants a big purchase for his car or whatever, he''ll tell me about it and I just say "cool". I like that we don''t have to get worked up about money. We each have a very strong work ethic and as long as we pay cash for whatever we want without touching savings neither of us cares.

Cj

 

[mariewest]

This is something that we are going to discuss when it comes closer to getting married. I personally think that a joint account is appropriate, but I think it is ok for each person to have a separte account also. People have their own bills (student loans, credit card, etc.) and if those expensives aren''t a common expense, then it should be paid for by the individual. I do think that if people are going to have a separate account, that they should be open to each other about it and about their spending. I don''t think they should be secret is anyway. Of course this may change as I hope to be a stay at home mom after having children until they are able to go to school. If I am not working a steady job, I may have to relay on a husband for some expensive that would have normally been independent of his. Like I said, money is a topic that should be discussed in length before marriage, because for so many couples money becomes a hot topic and causes many problems.

 

[Lauren8211]

When DH and I married, our debt became *our* debt - including student loans, credit cards, etc.

All money is *our* money, although we have separate accounts for now. We each get an allowance, and that is all we can spend personally.

Everything left in the account after bills are paid is thrown into collective savings.

 

[babycush]

Here is what Suze Orman suggests (love her!!):

1. Add together how much your combined monthly income is.
-If I earn $6,000 a month and SO earns $4,000 a month, our total is $10,000 (I WISH!!)

2. Figure out how much your joint expenses are (rent, food, utilities, etc).
-Say your expenses are $3,000 a month.

3. Calculate what percent your joint expenses are of your total monthly income.
-In this example, $3,000 expenses /$10,000 income = 30%

4. Each party contributes that percent of his or her respective incomes into a joint account.
-30% of my income = $1,800
-30% of SO''s income = $1,200

5. All other money stays in separate accounts. That way, both parties are contributing equally to the household expenses and if someone wants to buy a boat (as above) and has the money for it, then he can go for it!

 

[winelover23]

We aren''t married yet (September 2010) but we have all of our money together and bought a house together. I like spending his money better than my own so it works out very well.

He makes about double what I make.

I had seperate accounts in my previous marriage and that didn''t turn out so well.

 

[misskitty]

We have separate accounts now, but will probably merge them once we get married. We''ve thought about doing a three-account system, too (each contributing to a joint account for bills and joint savings, but keeping our current accounts for personal money).

 

[princesss]

Date: 2/15/2010 3:22:42 PM
Author: babycush
Here is what Suze Orman suggests (love her!!):

1. Add together how much your combined monthly income is.
-If I earn $6,000 a month and SO earns $4,000 a month, our total is $10,000 (I WISH!!)

2. Figure out how much your joint expenses are (rent, food, utilities, etc).
-Say your expenses are $3,000 a month.

3. Calculate what percent your joint expenses are of your total monthly income.
-In this example, $3,000 expenses /$10,000 income = 30%

4. Each party contributes that percent of his or her respective incomes into a joint account.
-30% of my income = $1,800
-30% of SO''s income = $1,200

5. All other money stays in separate accounts. That way, both parties are contributing equally to the household expenses and if someone wants to buy a boat (as above) and has the money for it, then he can go for it!

I''ve been wondering how to figure out the percentage we need to put in! This is awesome. Right now BF won''t hear of putting in the same percentage (even though I make twice what he does!) and I haven''t fought it because I am a math dunce and couldn''t figure this out.

Looks like we''re having an impromptu budget meeting tonight!

 

[babycush]

Date: 2/15/2010 4:46:42 PM
Author: princesss

I've been wondering how to figure out the percentage we need to put in! This is awesome. Right now BF won't hear of putting in the same percentage (even though I make twice what he does!) and I haven't fought it because I am a math dunce and couldn't figure this out.


Looks like we're having an impromptu budget meeting tonight!

Good luck! You can also do the same thing for a savings account (10% of income or however much you want to save).

 

[4ever]

I would prefer that we had seperate accounts and each contribute equally towards bills and savings.

However, BF is a spender and I am more of a saver and alot more sensible about money than he is so I know when we get married he wants to have joint accounts and put me in charge of how much of our incomes is put in savings, how much for bills and allocate us both weekly "play" money which covers anything we want to buy or do but don''t need. In other words, when it comes to money, I am the boss.

 

[vc10um]

Right now we''re separate. I write the check for the rent and do all the grocery shopping, as well as transfer some money every month from my checking to the honeymoon savings I set up. He writes me a check for his half of the rent and the honeymoon savings, and pays all the utilities (which pretty much match the cost of groceries).

When we get married, we''ve already discussed pooling a TBD percentage of our earnings into the common pot for all debt (he''s helping tackle my student loans, bless his heart!) as well as common savings for things like a house. The remaining percentage will be kept in our own personal accounts. I have several married friends who use this method, and I think it works well.

 

[diamondseeker2006]

Let me tell you what really works well.

We have the main joint checking account where his check goes. It pays all bills and savings is automatically deducted. Then my check goes in another joint account but I keep that checkbook and am free to spend whatever. Actually I keep both checkbooks. He has a separate account to use for travel expense, etc., and to have a little spending money. All the money is ours. That Suze Orman formula sounds good for couples living together before marriage, but it sounds weird to me for a married couple to be splitting bills by the percentage of money they make!

 

[crossmyfingers]

So I''m not the only one thinking separate accounts aren''t a terrible idea! Good!

BF has student loans and I don''t. I know he doesn''t intend for me to help with that, but like someone else said, it will be *our* debt when we are married, and I think that makes sense. We''ve not talked a lot about money so far, but we certainly will before we get married.

I do like the idea of percentages in the Suze Orman concept a few posts up, but I don''t like that it seems like there would be no joint savings account. That is something I definitely want. Separate checking I can understand, but I don''t think I''d want separate savings and no joint savings at all.

 

[Dancing Fire]

always keep $$$ separated from each other.

 

[yssie]

joint will pay the bills, our fun money will be separate.


I earn more at the moment but FI''s cap is likely higher (different field). We''ll be putting equal amounts toward our fun-money, not a percentage of personal income... we''ll both be doing the best we can to contribute, why should one partner be rewarded more than the other for the same effort? That said, if one of us winds up in a dead field we''d switch to something else right quick.


I spend most of my fun money on him anyway, and he treats me to the things I wouldn''t get myself, so it works well

 

[janinegirly]

My advice would be to maintain separate accounts until married at which point open a joint account. Even though you have joint bills,etc., you can pay those in individual installments.

This is the same reasoning I apply for purchasing real estate together--it''s generally not a good idea until legally married. Being married offers you some legal protection and avenues to unwind should things go wrong. Same thing with joint account. It''s just smart financially and can save you alot of difficulties later on. Now I know it''s not a terribly romantic approach but it is something that happens more oftne then we care to admit.

Just my opinion--I am not saying anyone elses'' way is the wrong way-just something to consider.

 

[lilyfoot]

We aren't married yet (October 2010

)

We have one joint checking account, where both of our paychecks are deposited. From that account, we put money into savings, pay bills/joint expenses, and then we get (eta: the same amount of) money to put into our seperate personal checking accounts.

So there's:

Our checking
Our savings
Me checking
His checking

We do currently make the same, but regardless of who makes more, we will probably always use this system. The joint checking is the only one I balance a checkbook for, and I don't want to have to keep track of every time I buy breakfast, every time he buys lunch, etc.

ETA: The only debt we have are car loans, and some financed furniture. If one of us had outlandish credit card/loan/student debt, this system wouldn't really work, I guess.

 

[ChloeTheGreat]

We''re not married yet, but have been living together for a handful of years. It made sense for us to have joint checking/saving accounts. SO''s has always been the breadwinner, since I''ve been a student thus far, but I''m in charge of getting the bills paid, so I needed access to the funds. It works fine for us to have everything together. We have opened individual credit cards, however, so we can each build credit. But at this point, we are trying to get rid of credit! So we''re down to paying off one large joint credit card. The individual ones have been paid off.

 

[katamari]

Date: 2/16/2010 12:22:05 AM
Author: crossmyfingers
So I''m not the only one thinking separate accounts aren''t a terrible idea! Good!

BF has student loans and I don''t. I know he doesn''t intend for me to help with that, but like someone else said, it will be *our* debt when we are married, and I think that makes sense. We''ve not talked a lot about money so far, but we certainly will before we get married.


I do like the idea of percentages in the Suze Orman concept a few posts up, but I don''t like that it seems like there would be no joint savings account. That is something I definitely want. Separate checking I can understand, but I don''t think I''d want separate savings and no joint savings at all.

Unfortunately, whether your paycheck or his pays the loans, they will influence you both significantly in terms of the mortgages you will get approved for and amount of disposable income you have as a family. I hate that I have a lower-paying job and more debt than my DH but, try as we might to run separate operations, it is in our best collective interest to pay my student loans off together quickly (once we actually get out of school) rather than me trying to tackle them alone.

That said, we do keep separate checking and savings accounts while also having a joint savings (and, I totally see the irony in having "savings" accounts at the same time I have student loans). We have always written two checks for all our bills and everything is in both our names. We also have access to the others personal accounts. And, when we sign into online banking, they all show up together. We are not trying to keep secrets from one another. Our goal is just to have some financial independence. When we were living together pre-engagement, though, we only had personal accounts and a joint savings. We didn''t add all the access and combine banks until after the marriage.

 

[purselover]

DH and I had combined accounts since we moved in together, and after a few small arguments in the beginning it''s worked well ever since. We don''t need "permission" to buy things we want we trust each other not to overspend what we can afford, and when it comes to bigger things like cars we discuss and come to a decision together. If we ever made each other feel guilty for buying expensive purses or watches we can afford we''d have bigger issues than seperate accounts.

 

[purselover]

Date: 2/16/2010 6:36:18 PM
Author: katamari

Date: 2/16/2010 12:22:05 AM
Author: crossmyfingers
So I''m not the only one thinking separate accounts aren''t a terrible idea! Good!

BF has student loans and I don''t. I know he doesn''t intend for me to help with that, but like someone else said, it will be *our* debt when we are married, and I think that makes sense. We''ve not talked a lot about money so far, but we certainly will before we get married.


I do like the idea of percentages in the Suze Orman concept a few posts up, but I don''t like that it seems like there would be no joint savings account. That is something I definitely want. Separate checking I can understand, but I don''t think I''d want separate savings and no joint savings at all.

Unfortunately, whether your paycheck or his pays the loans, they will influence you both significantly in terms of the mortgages you will get approved for and amount of disposable income you have as a family. I hate that I have a lower-paying job and more debt than my DH but, try as we might to run separate operations, it is in our best collective interest to pay my student loans off together quickly (once we actually get out of school) rather than me trying to tackle them alone.

That said, we do keep separate checking and savings accounts while also having a joint savings (and, I totally see the irony in having ''savings'' accounts at the same time I have student loans). We have always written two checks for all our bills and everything is in both our names. We also have access to the others personal accounts. And, when we sign into online banking, they all show up together. We are not trying to keep secrets from one another. Our goal is just to have some financial independence. When we were living together pre-engagement, though, we only had personal accounts and a joint savings. We didn''t add all the access and combine banks until after the marriage.

Exactly when you get married his debt affects both of you, whether you''re directly writing a check to Salle Mae (or whatever) each month or not!

 

[MermaidKelly]

I am not in this situation yet, but I agree that marriage as a complete ''merge'' as well...including debts, bank accounts, etc. I''d like to make everything joint, as long as that is fine with him as well.

 

[AustenNut]

We haven''t done are our real, "final" discussions about how we''ll set up the budget, but I think we''ll sort of be like 4ever. He''s more of a spender than I am and he''s repeatedly said that I''ll be in charge of finances. I think we''ll probably have a joint checking account for joint expenses, some joint savings accounts, and then individual accounts for personal spending. He has some credit card and school debt, and I suspect that we''ll aggressively tackle those together. (Probably taking all the money he currently spends on utilities & rent to pay those off once we move in together...when we''re married.) Then once those are paid off there''s more money available for savings & personal spending.

I know he helps his mom out, usually sending her a check every month and I''m not sure if that would be considered a joint expense or if that would come out of his own personal spending money.

 

[monkeyprincess]

My fiance and I don''t live together, and all of our finances are completely separate, and I think that is the way it should be before marriage. But once a couple is married, I''m a firm believer that most of the money the couple has should be in joint accounts. I think there is a real danger in considering money as his and hers rather than ours. I like the idea of keeping separate accounts and putting a set amount of "fun money" or an "allowance" in those separate accounts each month. But I don''t like the idea of secretly spending money on anything other than gifts or incidental expenses.

 

[janinegirly]

Date: 2/18/2010 7:32:31 AM
Author: monkeyprincess
My fiance and I don''t live together, and all of our finances are completely separate, and I think that is the way it should be before marriage. But once a couple is married, I''m a firm believer that most of the money the couple has should be in joint accounts. I think there is a real danger in considering money as his and hers rather than ours. I like the idea of keeping separate accounts and putting a set amount of ''fun money'' or an ''allowance'' in those separate accounts each month. But I don''t like the idea of secretly spending money on anything other than gifts or incidental expenses.

Why do you think there is danger in having separate accounts once married (in addition to joint). To me this is healthy--particularly when both partners work. Now DH knows exactly how much I have so there is no secrecy but to me it is very important to have my own account and sense of independence. We both contribute to the joint accout where 95% expenses are deducted from.

 

[monkeyprincess]

Janinegirly, if you read my post carefully, you''ll see I said there is a danger in viewing money as his and hers and not ours. I didn''t say there was a danger in keeping a separate account. That''s why I said, I think it is a good idea for each partner to have a separate account with "fun" money or a monthly allowance, but to keep most of the money in joint accounts.