Irritated.

[partyjewels]

I have been trying to get ahold of the priest who is marrying us, yet he's never there and he never calls back. We needed to figure out times for the wedding. When we originally talked, we asked what the latest time we could START the ceremony was, and he told us around 2 or 2:30, because we need to be out before the mass later. We told him that we would want to take that late time as we didn't want to start the reception very early, and didn't want to have any time other than driving in between the two.

Well FI just called to say that he finally got ahold of him, and now we have to BE OUT of the church before 2 because there is another wedding going on!!!!!! This really has me quite irritated as we've been trying to get ahold of him to firm up our times and he never responded. It also irritates me that we told him originally that we wanted to start as late as possible as we didn't want to start the reception early. What makes it worse is he's family!!!!! Ugh.

So now I don't know what we're going to do. I absolutely do not want to start our reception that early, nor did I want the wedding ceremony that early. For me, I'd rather just switch churches because we don't GO to that church anyways, we were getting married at this specific one because it was important to FI for this priest to marry us.

What am I supposed to do now?! It's not like I can call and complain to him that we had discussed how we wanted the later time for our wedding and he never called us back. I mean I could, but what would be the point? Theres nothing that can be done about it since theres already another wedding in there now, and it's not that couples fault he messed it up!

I just feel like crying right now because theres all this other stuff going on right now and thats just icing on the top. I didn't even WANT this type of wedding and I'm so fed up right now I just feel like canceling the whole thing and eloping. Of course I wouldn't since FI won't elope, but it doesn't change how I feel at this moment!!!!!!!!

Ok, I needed to vent there. But seriously, what am I supposed to do now?

 

[gtn]

Oh Party, I am so sorry to here that. Since the priest is family, and I''m sure your FI wants his family to officiate, why not have it at another church?

 

[HollyS]

Phone, my patootie. I would make my physical presence felt in a very hard-to-ignore way, and his butt would be in a seat for at least an hour while we went over the details. Period. Or -- he would be fired as the officiant.

I know, I know. I''m not in the middle of this, so my perspective isn''t quite the same as yours. Trust me, play hardball. You have put up with way too much nonsense from him.

 

[surfgirl]

He''s family and he doesn''t call you back and he''s making you get married in a time slot you clearly said you didn''t want? Screw that. I''d go talk to him in person with your FI, and make it clear that you aren''t getting married that early, and that it''s either a later afternoon/early evening ceremony, or go elsewhere. Just because he''s family doesn''t mean you need to use him, particularly as he''s not doing you any favors that I can see.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

Okay, lets take a deep breath and try to get creative in order to turn this big, fat lemon into lemonade...

First of all, what your priest did was very inconsiderate. I would talk to him, and tell him that you are disappointed with the outcome because you had expressed your "wants" ahead of time.

Secondly, if it''s important to your FI that this priest officate the ceremony, then I would bow to that. Little things like who, or what or when or where can sometimes matter to men a lot, and I think its sentimental that he has an interest. After all, while it may be difficult for you to bend around this issue and deal with the aggravation, a marriage is about 2 people--you and him--and he should have a say in who marries you, too.

Third, lets deal. Okay, so you have to be outta there by 2. Well, on the bright side, now you have ample time to have photographs imbetween the ceremony and reception! That is a great thing. During the long break, you could offer a cocktail party for the guests. This could be a really fun way to loosen people up prior to the reception...serve light food, wine, have a little background music...people will have a chance to introduce themselves, mingle and get comfortable with other people so when it''s time to party...they will all be comfortable and ready to let loose!! Whoo Hoo!!!

I''m sure you''ll vent for a while, and I can''t blame you...but if you get creative, I am sure you turn this negative into something that will only stand to enhance your wedding!!

PS dust and good luck!!!!

 

[partyjewels]

Ok, I swear I replied to GTNs comment yesterday, but maybe I''m just loosing my mind. For you other ladies I do appreciate your time to reply

I''m feeling a bit better about it today, but not all the way...

I''ll start off saying that while yes, the marriage is about two people, and he should have his say in who marries us too, the thing is, this whole wedding is for HIM. I did not want to get married in a church, or have nearly as many guests as we''re having (we need to cut it off at 200, but if it were up to him there would probably be close to 350 if not more). Then theres all this other stuff too.. So in my mind, I''ve done an awful lot of compromising on this wedding. I had wanted to get married last year, with just our immediate family and grandparents at the MOST, and then we could have a big party with everyone if he wanted. There is nothing about it that we are doing because I wanted to do it that way, but theres a whole lot that we''re doing because he wanted to do it that way, even though I had, and still have, no desire to do it those ways, I was willing to because it was important to him. I realize that makes me seem childish about the whole thing, kind of like kids fighting over who got more ice cream or something, but it starts to weigh on me when things like this come up and I have to compromise yet again when I feel like I''ve already given up so much.

So FI called and talked with him again today, and finds out that the other wedding is not at the church, it''s at some place a bit down the road. We can have our ceremony a little later, as we don''t have to be out with everything cleaned up by a certain time for this other wedding. We still need to have it way earlier than I would like, since he''s officiating for this other wedding and will need to leave to go there.

So now we''re looking at starting at 1:45, it''s better than 1:00 like FI had suggested yesterday, but still not so great.


Italiahaircolor - Thanks for trying to make it better, it made me smile and I appreciate it, but really it still doesn''t work. The things I was not willing to budge on was having a later ceremony and reception, and also having as many as possible of the pictures taken before hand. I already have to compromise on the times of when things start, but I absolutely will not budge on the picture before thing. Sounds silly, but I refuse! I have had to compromise on so many things about this wedding that I will not budge about that because theres no reason it can''t be done!! Also, having a cocktail party that like, to me it''s the same as starting the reception early because we don''t have the money to have it somewhere else, and our reception hall is just one big room, theres no other section that could separate the two things if that makes sense. *sigh*

We''ll figure it out I guess, but thanks for letting me vent.

 

[bee*]

ugh that sounds rubbish! It''s a pity that he''s not doing you any favours, especially seeing as he''s family. Hugs and I hope that you''re feeling better today!

 

[partyjewels]

Thanks Bee