irrationally a little disappointed

[merbear1215]

Let me start by saying that I realize this is a bit irrational, but I can't help but being a little bummed.

About two years ago, I chose the style of ring I wanted, a princess cut halo, the halo being square with rounded edges and then diamonds going down the band. I saw a picture of one very much like what I would want, and had shown some people. One of those people was my best friend. It got her thinking about what she wanted, and she was thinking a ring (I think round stone) with diamonds down the band.

Fast forward two years: we are both with the guys that we were with two years ago and both getting fairly close to engagement. Recently, she started describing the ring she had basically drawn a picture of (for her bf to use when he saw fit). It is a halo ring (cushion cut, cushion halo) and diamonds down the band, etc. I said "hey, that sounds like my ring." and she started to explain how it wasn't. She said something like "yours will be more modern looking, right? mine will have milgrain and some design going down the side." There is some truth to that, but I did think "well, you haven't seen it in two years, so I am sure your memory of it wasn't THAT clear." So, it seems that we are going to have very similar rings and receive them very close together.

I know it is crazy. First, I did not invent the halo style, nor did I copyright it. But, I have even read people on here comment that in real life, they have only known a few people who had them. Second, I realize if I had chosen solitaire or another style, I am sure plenty of people would have very similar looking styles. Third, she is my best friend, I love her, and I would NEVER expect that she would get something different than what she truly wants just because I had decided on my style first. Nor do I think she would have NEVER decided on the halo style had I not exposed her to it (not like she is trying to steal my style). But despite all that, I feel a little bummed or annoyed......has anyone ever run into this before? I will be totally happy with my ring and happy for her, but....I also just keep feeling something else about it......thoughts?

 

[yssie]

Yup, it''s irrational, but you realize it so it''s okay

Seriously though, even if you both have halos and pave down the shanks your ring will be UNIQUE and beautiful! There are hundreds of different halo styles, unless you both choose every single detail to be exactly the same there won''t be anything more than a passing resemblance - "oh, solitare", "oh, halo". And yours will be yours which makes it extra beautiful, unique, and special

 

[KittyGolightly]

Date: 4/28/2010 5:20:20 PM
Author: yssie
Yup, it''s irrational, but you realize it so it''s okay

Seriously though, even if you both have halos and pave down the shanks your ring will be UNIQUE and beautiful! There are hundreds of different halo styles, unless you both choose every single detail to be exactly the same there won''t be anything more than a passing resemblance - ''oh, solitare'', ''oh, halo''. And yours will be yours which makes it extra beautiful, unique, and special

Exactly. Your rings will be similar, but you won''t be ring twins.

 

[sunnyd]

Well if she''s your best friend, why should it surprise you that you have similar taste? There are about a billion different halo styles, so while they may look similar, they won''t be. (And who cares anyway if they are??)

 

[RaiKai]

I would not worry about it. Not all halos (or even solitaires) are created alike. They may share similarities, but they are still different.

 

[legallyspoiled]

I know exactly how you feel because I have felt the exact same way over other items. This happens a lot with one of my best friends. I think we annoy each other a lot because we have very similar styles and tastes. We are constantly copying stuff from each other. Handbags, nail polish colors, hair cuts, etc. It is silly and we know it but that doesn''t mean that we still aren''t disappointed or annoyed!

Here is the thing. It is okay to be annoyed by it! Just don''t make a big deal over it. Whine about it and get over it.

My mom always says that it is the highest form of flattery when someone copies something that you have done. (Note: That line never really helped me when she used it on me so I doubt it helped you, lol.)

p.s. I''m sure your ring will be better anyway!

 

[HopeDream]

Don''t worry Merbear1215, we''re all al little irrational at times.

I''m pretty sure that when it''s on your finger all your dissapointment will melt away.

 

[4ever]

It does suck when this happens but it does happen with really close friends about all sorts of things. You just really "sold" her on the halo style or she really likes your taste and style. If you check out the halo thread in SMTR you''ll see how different each design is and how every ring is unique- it''s very unlikly that your rings will share similarities further then them both being halos.

 

[getting excited]

Date: 4/28/2010 5:56:41 PM
Author: legallyspoiled
I know exactly how you feel because I have felt the exact same way over other items. This happens a lot with one of my best friends. I think we annoy each other a lot because we have very similar styles and tastes. We are constantly copying stuff from each other. Handbags, nail polish colors, hair cuts, etc. It is silly and we know it but that doesn''t mean that we still aren''t disappointed or annoyed!

Here is the thing. It is okay to be annoyed by it! Just don''t make a big deal over it. Whine about it and get over it.

My mom always says that it is the highest form of flattery when someone copies something that you have done. (Note: That line never really helped me when she used it on me so I doubt it helped you, lol.)

p.s. I''m sure your ring will be better anyway!

I totally agree with legally spoiled about the flattery thing. You should feel good that someone thinks you have great style! Also, I bet when your bf gives you your ring, you will be so excited that you won''t care what anyone else has!

 

[beezygal]

I know what you mean.. I would be upset if my friend wants a ring similar... like she''s a copycat.

I''m sure they won''t be exactly the same.

 

[dawnabee]

Mer I think everyone has it said right that the two rings even though alike will look completely different! Don''t stress to much about it. When she goes ring shopping (if) she may change her mind or you could too.

I''ve had this experience before with one of my best friends..if I wanted to go to the zoo she wanted to and would do it first! She does it to most of us and if you say ''hey i wanted to do that'' she''d explain someway around it haha gotta love em She doesnt only do it to me so I learned to deal with it and not share too much info anymore.


Personally, I''d tell her I changed my mind to a solitaire or different setting and give a million reasons why and sell her on that but still go with my original choice haha Maybe she will then copy that idea not knowing!

GL

 

[MayFlowers]

Date: 4/28/2010 5:56:41 PM
Author: legallyspoiled
I know exactly how you feel because I have felt the exact same way over other items. This happens a lot with one of my best friends. I think we annoy each other a lot because we have very similar styles and tastes. We are constantly copying stuff from each other. Handbags, nail polish colors, hair cuts, etc. It is silly and we know it but that doesn''t mean that we still aren''t disappointed or annoyed!


Here is the thing. It is okay to be annoyed by it! Just don''t make a big deal over it. Whine about it and get over it.

My mom always says that it is the highest form of flattery when someone copies something that you have done. (Note: That line never really helped me when she used it on me so I doubt it helped you, lol.)


p.s. I''m sure your ring will be better anyway!

Ditto! Plus, once you get it you will be too distracted by the sparkly to care about the similarities between you and your friend''s rings.

 

[merbear1215]

Thanks all!! It does make me feel better!

I must admit, it didn''t really matter to me when either of us got engaged (in terms of the order) but after I found out that she was planning a similar ring style to mine, I was thinking, "I better get my first." SOOO NOT a competition, but all things being equal (both have been together about the same amount of time, both committed, etc.) I didn''t want to end up seeming like I had mimicked her style.

I really am looking forward to being engaged or married where as she has recently said that she REALLY wants kids someday (and would like to be married to the person she has them with and share a name and all that) but if she didn''t want kids, then getting married wouldn''t be all that important to her. And then I was thinking, being a total crazy, "well, if you don''t even care, then don''t steal my style."

 

[PumpkinPie]

yup - I agree that you''re being irrational but I think it''s a fairly normal disappointment. I''m certain taht it will not really matter to you in the end You will love your ring, and they will not be identical.

 

[merbear1215]

well.......I JUST GOT MINE.....AND I LOVE IT!

 

[4ever]

Call me petty but....at least now she will look like the copycat and not you

Win!

Congratulations!

 

[Sizzle]

Wait during the course of the couple of hours you were posting about it you got engaged in the middle of the day and this is all you say!? Were gonna need some details woman!

 

[merbear1215]

Thanks!

The story:

About a month ago, while waiting in line at the Joann Fabrics, I was perusing all their dollar items. One of them was this "magic rope," you know the kind, where it comes in tree pieces, then you cut it and it turns into one...I am sure everyone has seen it with a magician. Well, I bought it for SO (mainly because, when I want thing I really don''t need, i say they are for "him", but I take a lot of pleasure, like when I get "him" ice cream from the grocery store). I had completely forgotten about it, we never opened it or used it.

Last night he got home from work and came into the bedroom and said "oh, I finally figured out this magic trick." So he''s messing with all the pieces and getting all "confused" and then says "oooh, I see why it isn''t working" and he has the ring in his hand then gets down on one knee and asks me to marry him.

He was planning to do it today at the zoo. But he had picked the ring up yesterday and got soo nervous about losing it. So, now I have it!

Pics to follow! We tried to get some last night, but they weren''t good at all. We are going to try in the sunlight today.

Thanks again for all the support!

 

[lilyfoot]

See, all that craziness for nothing! Congratulations, I can''t wait to see pictures!

 

[RebeccaLynn]

I was initially going to respond saying that the EXACT SAME THING happened to me-- with what sounds like a very similiar ring! She even had a picture of it in her email that I had sent literally about 5 years ago for when the time came! But I won''t get in to it, it''s all behind ya now- congrats!!

 

[beezygal]

sweet proposal!!! PICS!!!!

 

[lightningbug]

Date: 4/30/2010 9:48:09 AM
Author: merbear1215
Thanks!


The story:


About a month ago, while waiting in line at the Joann Fabrics, I was perusing all their dollar items. One of them was this ''magic rope,'' you know the kind, where it comes in tree pieces, then you cut it and it turns into one...I am sure everyone has seen it with a magician. Well, I bought it for SO (mainly because, when I want thing I really don''t need, i say they are for ''him'', but I take a lot of pleasure, like when I get ''him'' ice cream from the grocery store). I had completely forgotten about it, we never opened it or used it.


Last night he got home from work and came into the bedroom and said ''oh, I finally figured out this magic trick.'' So he''s messing with all the pieces and getting all ''confused'' and then says ''oooh, I see why it isn''t working'' and he has the ring in his hand then gets down on one knee and asks me to marry him.


He was planning to do it today at the zoo. But he had picked the ring up yesterday and got soo nervous about losing it. So, now I have it!


Pics to follow! We tried to get some last night, but they weren''t good at all. We are going to try in the sunlight today.


Thanks again for all the support!

That''s adorable! Congratulations!

 

[SAPHIRINA]

Congratulations!!! What a sweet proposal!

 

[Black Jade]

Congrats! that''s a sweet story.

I''m sure you''ve forgot the other thing now.
But just to share, a lot of things annoy me on that level--I think I''m an oversensitive/touchy type. I wouldn''t have liked the idea of having the same ring either, when I first heard it. I think you handled it just right--vented somewhere that it didn''t matter and got it out of your system. My problems arise when I don''t vent, because then I stew. But once I let it out to someone, it doesn''t bother me anymore and I can go on.

 

[LadyJane83]

I think a lot of people would feel this way

There tend to be trends with ring styles, so you sort of have to expect it to some extent . . . it used to be yellow gold, then channel set diamonds, now halos and micropave tend to be the most popular among newly engaged women.

Your ring will be beautiful, and no two rings are exactly alike (unless you get the exact same setting, of course).

 

[LadyJane83]

I just read through your post! Congrats! And such a cute story

 

[kagordo4]

As much as I want to say "of yeah just shake it off..." the immature side of me wants to tell you to just make sure your center stone is bigger. I can empathize with you on this, so no worries. : ) I think it''s normal, after all you want it to be YOUR big moment not hers or ANYONE else''s. Just chill a little and remember how much better your future fiance is : P

 

[HopeDream]

Congratulations Merbear1215!

I''m glad it all worked out! Your magic proposal will make a great story for years to come.
Do you have any Pics

?

Yay!!!

 

[AustenNut]

I just started reading this thread and am so thrilled about the happy ending. Congratulations and looking forward to seeing pictures of the much-discussed ring!

 

[merbear1215]

oy, I can''t figure out how to change the pic so that it meets the requirements of the site. Any one have tips?