I have to tell someone before I start crying...

[movie zombie]

that is indeed good news! i wonder if your hubby read the book and didn''t tell you!

yes, sometimes we have to pick our battles.

but i bet it really was a turn on for you that our hubby drew the line! and i''m going to assume he was suitably rewarded......

movie zombie

 

[laurel25]

Date: 12/22/2008 10:35:39 AM
Author: movie zombie
that is indeed good news! i wonder if your hubby read the book and didn''t tell you!

yes, sometimes we have to pick our battles.

but i bet it really was a turn on for you that our hubby drew the line! and i''m going to assume he was suitably rewarded......

movie zombie

Hahahaha - that''s awesome!

 

[EricaR]

I''m so glad your hubby stood up for you! Sometimes that is all it takes. Hopefully the photos go smoothly from here and that it is all over soon.

 

[LaraOnline]

I think it''s great that your man has represented your interests to his mum, because life is so much easier that way!
Good on him for sticking up for you! TBH, all in exactly the same outfit seems kind of OTT for me... but I guess it takes all types!
Leaving you off the email... hmmm, I think that would / could (?) possibly be par for the course with my MIL. Some women just never seem to get over the fact that their favourite boy didn''t marry them...

 

[Judah Gutwein]

So sorry to hear about your story....I guess you can chalk it up to a lesson learned and of course, both of you are stronger as a result.

As a general rule, most MIL''S are overbearing, impossible, wretched, nosy, monday morning quarterbacks, inquisitive, relentless, overprotective, know it alls, MIA when it matters, unforgiving, controlling, aggressive, pushy, blabbermouths, judgemental, apathetic, morose, melodramatic, controversial.....and so on and so forth.

Of course, there are always exceptions to the rule.....like snow in Florida....

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 12/22/2008 9:16:05 AM
Author: Italiahaircolor
haven, Laurel, lorelie, honey 22, VRbeauty, movie zombie, coatimundi, crystal heart, Ambergretchen, Elmorton, Violet3, Swedishbean, and Lara...thank you all so much for taking time to weigh in on my issue...it means a lot. Although I must admit, this weekend I was sitting around feeling pretty stupid and foolish for overreacting about a dumb family photo. I mean, there are people on this site with real problems and I keep going on and on and on about my MIL and these little issues that occasionally pop up. So, thank you for baring with me...I feel silly, but your understanding, suggestions, and support do make me feel better.

However, I do have an interesting update...

Saturday I started to feel nothing short of ''foolish'' over the way I was behaving when it comes to this family photo. I stepped outside of my ''box'' for a moment and was able to see how I was being this stick in the mud, and although the relationship with my MIL needs work (clearly) I was picking a very inappropriate time to put my foot down--since being told what to wear is really the least of our problems...

But, Saturday night, my frusteration reared its ugly head once again when my DH was put in the middle between my MIL and I (once again!!!).

My DH called me Saturday night from the ice rink to tell me an e-mail had just come through from his Mother about the picture. He warned me to ''just delete'' the e-mail because he was planning on handling this, as it had gone on long enough. I, of course, opened my e-mail and found that reading it was not an option for me since my MIL hadn''t sent it to me at all...

Apparently, my MIL had e-mail only my SIL, BIL and my DH once again about the stupid outfits...saying the ''photographer'' was worried about our color choices...and that ''as a family'' they need to come together and make these outfits go together. Totally excluding me. Nice, real nice.

I told my DH to forget it (IRL, I used a few choice words), that I didn''t want to be in the effing picture anyway...that I figured we''d all look like the cover of ''Step Brothers'' and it was absurd to begin with. We''re all adults, not children, and we don''t need ''family photos'' of 6 adults. My DH actually agreed with me...and called his mother and told her as much. He shared with her that we would be wearing what we wanted and had previously selected...and that if she didn''t like it (or valued this joke of a photographers) then we''d skip the whole thing.

I''ve never heard him speak that way to her before...and it was turn on (LMAO...just kidding, kind of). She gave in...and now we have the ''all clear'' to wear what we want...

Maybe we''ll turn the page now...who knows.

Good for your Hubby!!!

 

[LaraOnline]

Date: 12/23/2008 3:56:25 PM
Author: Judah Gutwein
So sorry to hear about your story....I guess you can chalk it up to a lesson learned and of course, both of you are stronger as a result.


As a general rule, most MIL'S are overbearing, impossible, wretched, nosy, monday morning quarterbacks, inquisitive, relentless, overprotective, know it alls, MIA when it matters, unforgiving, controlling, aggressive, pushy, blabbermouths, judgemental, apathetic, morose, melodramatic, controversial.....and so on and so forth.


Of course, there are always exceptions to the rule.....like snow in Florida....

haha, that's funny. Of course, I myself won't be like that. I'll be a fantastic MIL (and they will want me to come live with them )

 

[Italiahaircolor]

I am in the basement with the family, so this will be short...

This have been lukewarm...

1.they moved the picture from 5pm to 1pm without telling us
2.my FIL and BIL started making fun of orthodox jews, I am half jewish
3.my FIL tried to take my pic and I accidently turned away, he said he wanted it for his "dart board"...

 

[jas]

Date: 12/27/2008 7:12:44 PM
Author: Italiahaircolor
I am in the basement with the family, so this will be short...

This have been lukewarm...

1.they moved the picture from 5pm to 1pm without telling us
2.my FIL and BIL started making fun of orthodox jews, I am half jewish
3.my FIL tried to take my pic and I accidently turned away, he said he wanted it for his ''dart board''...

Hang in there, honey. It seems they are trying to "get your goat." I know (trust me) that it''s hard, but put on a smile like it''s a suit of armor.

Then come here and fire away!

 

[movie zombie]

Date: 12/27/2008 7:12:44 PM
Author: Italiahaircolor
I am in the basement with the family, so this will be short...

This have been lukewarm...

1.they moved the picture from 5pm to 1pm without telling us
2.my FIL and BIL started making fun of orthodox jews, I am half jewish
3.my FIL tried to take my pic and I accidently turned away, he said he wanted it for his ''dart board''...

re #1 i couldl live with not being in a picture with these louts.
re #2 i''d leave the room
re #3 i''d leave the house and never return unless there was a very sincere apology.

it should be very obvious to your hubby that his family has crossed a line. these people are beyond rude and/or insensitive.

movie zombie

 

[AmberGretchen]

OMG italia - these people sound like such losers. How incredibly inappropriate. I''m so sorry you are dealing with this but so glad that your DH is willing to stand up for you.

I''ll send good thoughts your way that the rest of the visit goes as smoothly as possibly could be hoped with these cretins

(and that your DH feels bad enough about making you endure it to make it up to you with something extra-special, hopefully sparkly

)

 

[bee*]

Date: 12/28/2008 1:21:03 PM
Author: movie zombie

Date: 12/27/2008 7:12:44 PM

Author: Italiahaircolor

I am in the basement with the family, so this will be short...


This have been lukewarm...


1.they moved the picture from 5pm to 1pm without telling us

2.my FIL and BIL started making fun of orthodox jews, I am half jewish

3.my FIL tried to take my pic and I accidently turned away, he said he wanted it for his ''dart board''...

re #1 i couldl live with not being in a picture with these louts.

re #2 i''d leave the room

re #3 i''d leave the house and never return unless there was a very sincere apology.


it should be very obvious to your hubby that his family has crossed a line. these people are beyond rude and/or insensitive.


movie zombie

totally agree. How rude they are! I can''t believe that the FIL said that. I don''t think that I would have been able to keep my mouth shut and not told him where to put his photo and camera. I''m sorry that they are being like that to you.

 

[Lorelei]

Ignorant, childish and spiteful. I am so sorry Italia...

 

[vespergirl]

Date: 12/27/2008 7:12:44 PM
Author: Italiahaircolor
I am in the basement with the family, so this will be short...

This have been lukewarm...

1.they moved the picture from 5pm to 1pm without telling us
2.my FIL and BIL started making fun of orthodox jews, I am half jewish
3.my FIL tried to take my pic and I accidently turned away, he said he wanted it for his ''dart board''...

Their comments are totally unacceptable. #2 & #3 should not be tolerated. I can understand if you don''t want to discuss this with your husband at this minute, but when you are comfortable, you need to talk to him about this, and he needs to confront them. I know that he has been doing this, and he needs to continue to stick up for you. The negative comment about Jews is sickening. And putting your face on a dart board is not a funny joke - that''s malicious. I''m so sorry that you have to deal with these people. Your husband must be mortified too. I hope that everything works out, and you can go home soon!

 

[coatimundi_org]

Date: 12/28/2008 2:55:59 PM
Author: Lorelei
Ignorant, childish and spiteful. I am so sorry Italia...

Ditto. So sorry you have to deal with this!

 

[OMG]

You really must discuss this behaviour with your hubby.

 

[Matata]

Date: 12/27/2008 7:12:44 PM
Author: Italiahaircolor
I am in the basement with the family, so this will be short...

1.they moved the picture from 5pm to 1pm without telling us

2.my FIL and BIL started making fun of orthodox jews, I am half jewish

3.my FIL tried to take my pic and I accidently turned away, he said he wanted it for his ''dart board''...

Ok, that does it. Just post their address and we''ll organize a Pricescope Posse to go over there and give her a....

 

[purselover]

Date: 12/28/2008 4:33:55 PM
Author: Matata

Date: 12/27/2008 7:12:44 PM

Author: Italiahaircolor

I am in the basement with the family, so this will be short...


1.they moved the picture from 5pm to 1pm without telling us


2.my FIL and BIL started making fun of orthodox jews, I am half jewish


3.my FIL tried to take my pic and I accidently turned away, he said he wanted it for his ''dart board''...

Ok, that does it. Just post their address and we''ll organize a Pricescope Posse to go over there and give her a....

omg that is too funny!!

But in all seriousness Italia I''m really sorry that a family portrait had to turn into that, that is no way to be treated especially by people who are supposed to be your family

 

[princesss]

Italia, I am SO sorry you''re having to put up with this. I really hope your DH can see what these people are doing to you. I''m sure he wouldn''t put up with this kind of behaviour from anybody else, I really don''t see why it''s acceptable to him when it''s his parents hurting you. Especially the comments about Orthodox Jews. Not. Cool. And the dart board?

I truly hope your hubby steps in and tells them to knock it off. And if not...well, if you have to remove yourself from the situation, do it, and don''t look back. There needs to be a very strong message sent to these people that what they''re doing isn''t acceptable, and a message sent to your husband that you are truly in pain and he needs to step up and get his family in line.

*big hugs*

 

[movie zombie]

Date: 12/28/2008 4:33:55 PM
Author: Matata

Date: 12/27/2008 7:12:44 PM
Author: Italiahaircolor
I am in the basement with the family, so this will be short...

1.they moved the picture from 5pm to 1pm without telling us

2.my FIL and BIL started making fun of orthodox jews, I am half jewish

3.my FIL tried to take my pic and I accidently turned away, he said he wanted it for his ''dart board''...

Ok, that does it. Just post their address and we''ll organize a Pricescope Posse to go over there and give her a....

count me in! and i''ll bring my 5 cats, too!

movie zombie

 

[VRBeauty]

IHC: I'm so sorry that you're having to put up with such insensitive jerks.

Date: 12/28/2008 1:21:03 PM
Author: movie zombie

it should be very obvious to your hubby that his family has crossed a line. these people are beyond rude and/or insensitive.

Ditto and thritto. You DH should let his family know exactly why the two of you won't be visiting again absent an apology and a change of tune.

And BTW, Squeaky and Maya are ready, willing, and able to support the claws!

 

[WishfulThinking]

Oh goodness, Italia... how horrible for you. As if the whole ridiculous photo thing weren''t bad enough. They are WAY over the line. I don''t know what to say that others haven''t already said, but I am thinking of you and hoping you''re doing well despite everything, and that your hubby takes the initiative to let his parents know exactly how horribly they''ve acted toward you. *hugs*

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 12/28/2008 10:52:09 PM
Author: WishfulThinking
Oh goodness, Italia... how horrible for you. As if the whole ridiculous photo thing weren''t bad enough. They are WAY over the line. I don''t know what to say that others haven''t already said, but I am thinking of you and hoping you''re doing well despite everything, and that your hubby takes the initiative to let his parents know exactly how horribly they''ve acted toward you. *hugs*

Ditto. Sending you a big hug. I am so sorry.

 

[Haven]

Oy vey, Italia, I can''t believe these people. I tried to extend the benefit of the doubt to your MIL earlier, but now I''ve had it.

I''m so sorry. Big hugs.

We''re in the Chicago area. If you guys want to borrow some relatives, let me know.

We have our own brand of crazy, but it''s definitely not anti-semitic and downright rude.

 

[brooklyngirl]

I volunteer Bender to join the flying b-slap -- he''s no cat, but he''ll bark viciously from behind his mama

That really sucks about your in-laws. Just know that you don''t have to be around these people EVER. I would make it very clear to DH that you will not subject yourself to these people again. He, in turn, can do with that what he wants, whether it be visiting them when he can do so alone, or not visiting them at all. They need to understand that unless they can make their son''s wife feel comfortable in their presence, they won''t be seeing their son.

 

[bee*]

You can have Manolo for it too

He''s the size of a horse at this stage!

How are you feeling today Italia?

 

[jas]

Italia -- I reread what happened to you and realized that my whole "let a smile be your umbrella" comment was ridiculous. I agree with everyone else here. You are not a doormat!

Go whomp some butt. Better yet, I''ll be in the posse. I''ll bring the torches.

Sorry. But, still, hang in there.

 

[joflier]

How awful!!! That''s just so inconsiderate and offensive. Poor dear. Hope you had something positive come along to make you feel better.

 

[Clairitek]

That dartboard comment makes my blood boil. I can''t believe a grown man would say something like that. I feel so sorry that you have to deal with these people. I hope that once the holiday craziness boils down your DH will have some stern words with them. I''m so sorry that you''ve had to deal with this.

 

[princesss]

Oh, Lola and Ezra are totally in the flying b-slap brigade. Lola doesn''t have front claws, but she''s got a great glare, and Ezra loves sharpening his claws on anything and everything.