Hi Ladies (and Gents, if you''re reading),
I''m new and have been lurking here for over a month now without respite, so I decided it''s time to join in on the ''fun''!
Here is my story: my boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years this past June. We actually began discussing marriage within 4 months of dating, agreeing that 6 months is the minimum time needed to date before getting engaged without looking "inappropriate". As 6 mos. got closer, he asked if we could not keep to the original time-line, and I agreed, because I, too, was getting a bit nervous. However, we''ve waited long enough by now to both feel certain about each other. I know two years is NOT a LONG time, but we''re both older (he''s 45 and I''m 32) and neither of us have ever been married, and, hey, when you know, you just know.
Fast forward to last March or April and I had a mini-meltdown (I''m a graduate student writing my PhD thesis, so it''s not hard to imagine) about where my life was heading; I felt like I had no security of any kind: financial, job, housing, MARRIAGE (or where the relationship was heading), etc. Cut to the chase, he informed me that my future is with him! Previous to this, I had asked him when we were going to get engaged and he replied, "Soon" (this was before I discovered Pricescope and the"boy soon vs. girl soon" debate!). That answer had pacified me, until my mom asked what "soon" meant...hmm...she had a point, but I didn''t bring it up again for fear of looking "desperate" to get engaged. Anyhow, he informed me during this meltdown of mine that he was planning on proposing before next year, more towards the end of this one (hmm...his mom last Christmas made an allusion to me getting an engagement ring next year at Christmas-time. Maybe she knew something even then!). He was afraid he had "ruined" the surprise by telling me this--now, mind you, I just got a general time-line, no specifics! "Ruined?"!!! More like "saved me months of wondering and worrying"!
So I later reflected back on the "soon" conversation and determined that "soon" to him meant 9 months to a year! As a girl, of course I thought it meant within the next few weeks, at the most a month. Men are so weird!
My new dilemma: I received a prestigious grant to do research and live abroad for a year starting this October, and I''m really getting antsy trying to figure out if he will propose before I leave or will try to stick with his original plan (whatever that is). I feel like we have no real committment if I go to Europe without a ring on my finger. It''s nice to say, "yeah, we''ll get married soon," but until the proposal comes, I''m not counting on it (can you tell I''ve been burned before? However, my bf is a person with a lot of integrity, so I don''t think he''s pulling one over on me). Aargh! The waiting!
Thanks for listening! You may add me to the list!!!
-Lisa
P.S. Sorry for the length--I didn''t realize I had this much of a vent coming on!
I''m new and have been lurking here for over a month now without respite, so I decided it''s time to join in on the ''fun''!
Here is my story: my boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years this past June. We actually began discussing marriage within 4 months of dating, agreeing that 6 months is the minimum time needed to date before getting engaged without looking "inappropriate". As 6 mos. got closer, he asked if we could not keep to the original time-line, and I agreed, because I, too, was getting a bit nervous. However, we''ve waited long enough by now to both feel certain about each other. I know two years is NOT a LONG time, but we''re both older (he''s 45 and I''m 32) and neither of us have ever been married, and, hey, when you know, you just know.
Fast forward to last March or April and I had a mini-meltdown (I''m a graduate student writing my PhD thesis, so it''s not hard to imagine) about where my life was heading; I felt like I had no security of any kind: financial, job, housing, MARRIAGE (or where the relationship was heading), etc. Cut to the chase, he informed me that my future is with him! Previous to this, I had asked him when we were going to get engaged and he replied, "Soon" (this was before I discovered Pricescope and the"boy soon vs. girl soon" debate!). That answer had pacified me, until my mom asked what "soon" meant...hmm...she had a point, but I didn''t bring it up again for fear of looking "desperate" to get engaged. Anyhow, he informed me during this meltdown of mine that he was planning on proposing before next year, more towards the end of this one (hmm...his mom last Christmas made an allusion to me getting an engagement ring next year at Christmas-time. Maybe she knew something even then!). He was afraid he had "ruined" the surprise by telling me this--now, mind you, I just got a general time-line, no specifics! "Ruined?"!!! More like "saved me months of wondering and worrying"!
So I later reflected back on the "soon" conversation and determined that "soon" to him meant 9 months to a year! As a girl, of course I thought it meant within the next few weeks, at the most a month. Men are so weird!
My new dilemma: I received a prestigious grant to do research and live abroad for a year starting this October, and I''m really getting antsy trying to figure out if he will propose before I leave or will try to stick with his original plan (whatever that is). I feel like we have no real committment if I go to Europe without a ring on my finger. It''s nice to say, "yeah, we''ll get married soon," but until the proposal comes, I''m not counting on it (can you tell I''ve been burned before? However, my bf is a person with a lot of integrity, so I don''t think he''s pulling one over on me). Aargh! The waiting!
Thanks for listening! You may add me to the list!!!
-Lisa
P.S. Sorry for the length--I didn''t realize I had this much of a vent coming on!
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